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"Benefits Street" to be demolished to make way for HS2. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.01.14 4:34pm
Al OPecia
Old hat 1
Gerontius 17.01.14 3:29pm
Midfield Diamond
Last fish to fight in Cod War served up with chips and peas... 0
Tripod 17.01.14 2:34pm
Hollande visits partner in hospital. Stays in for surgical removal of bedpan.

plus de badinage a Un....

blokefromstoke 17.01.14 2:07pm
Final Striking Miner Dies

There was sadness on the streets of Easington today as the news broke that Terry Hatcham, the last miner to stay on strike, had died following a heart attack., Mr. Hatcham, who worked at the local...

james_doc 17.01.14 1:36pm
Ref Minor
NSA launches its own mobile phone and internet service provider

The National Security Agency today announced that rather than secretly intercepting text messages and emails, it was going to become a public internet service provider and mobile phone telco. When...

steve_l 17.01.14 11:58am
Broadband companies to offer free public transport

Some of the UK’s biggest internet providers are set to offer new customers free public transport when they sign up to a broadband wi-fi contract. Customers who agree to access the internet using ...

Dracula 17.01.14 11:51am
Well-off housewives slam ‘Benefits Street’ claimants as ‘downright lazy’

Britain’s large population of wealthy middle class housewives have today raised their concerns about the UK’s ever-growing population of ‘spongers’. The hotly debated topic, highlighted in...

Jesus H 17.01.14 10:58am
Al OPecia
Transport Minister: Pedestrians to use gutter if pavement unsafe due to cyclists

Cyclists should be free to go on to a pavement to avoid hazardous stretches of road, Transport Minister Robert Goodwill has told police. Responding to criticism from pedestrians, he expanded upon the...

weematt 17.01.14 10:04am
Sadomasochists to charter plane to Nigeria 0
Sinnick 17.01.14 9:38am
Larry diagnosed with depression

The universal indicator of happiness, Larry, took his own life after a long battle with depression, a Coroner's Court has ruled. Despite maintaining a front of happiness for several years, Larry...

jamsieoconnor 17.01.14 9:04am
Osborne calls for minimal wage rise for low-paid workers

Surely a typo...

Ironduke 17.01.14 1:48am
Increased support for Margaret Thatcher Day

The campaign to rename August Bank Holiday as 'Margaret Thatcher Day' gains momentum as people gradually realise that, as with Guy Fawkes Night, it will be an excuse to burn her effigy on an annual...

16.01.14 11:34pm
Local man struggles to have legitimate children 0
Dumbnews 16.01.14 10:48pm
Bosch to put your sex toys on the internet.

Those who scoffed that an internet enabled fridge would never happen have been trumped by German automotive parts specialist Robert Bosch. Just announced at this weeks CES is a new division to...

rogerg 16.01.14 10:25pm
'Add Tigers to name or face extinction', says Hull City owner 0
custard cream 16.01.14 8:57pm
custard cream
Children possess knowledge to destroy the planet, Ofcom finds in a survey.

It was discovered earlier today that children as young as 12 are able to bypass net filters for such nefarious activities such as viewing pornography, pirating movies or setting off nuclear warheads...

needabettergig 16.01.14 8:31pm
Amazing! School Dinners Voted The Greatest Step Up For European Civilisation...

…..since sliced bread...

Jesse Bigg 16.01.14 4:28pm
Jesse Bigg
Twitter storm reaches 8.5 on Richter scale

An unprecedented wave of tweets on twitter expressing outrage reached a phenomenal 8.5 on the Richter scale, several news outlets have reported today. The tweets, initially reported at a magnitude...

David K 16.01.14 4:07pm
David K
New trendy restaurant offers unique non trendy food

Imagine my surprise to eat something non-organic, non-vegetarian, and not part of some fad-diet!...

Dumbnews 16.01.14 3:03pm
WW2 sub-saboteur was anemone of the people 0
Dick Everyman 16.01.14 2:14pm
Dick Everyman
Confusion at the gate. St Peter insists "Are you sure you're not Dave ?"

no more from him soon. Pity....

Not Amused 16.01.14 1:08pm
French President announces withdrawal from CAR - 'We're lovers not fighters' 0
rogerg 16.01.14 12:33pm
Toilet TV watching trend could cost economy 'billions'

Britain’s economy is being hit for billions of pounds in lost work hours due to more and more people spending their days watching TV in the toilet. According to figures released today by the Some...

Dracula 16.01.14 11:00am
Dick Everyman
New Unit for Twitter Outrage Ratified

The International Bureau of Weights and Measures today announced an eighth unit would be added to the SI bases that dominate commerce and science in the modern world., Unlike the other seven base...

james_doc 16.01.14 10:56am
Cuts in UK circus college "limit Britain's clown capabilities"

Former US clown chief Robert Gates has said that UK cutbacks has affected it's ability to play a full role in the world of physical comedy. Mr Gates commented; "I understand that the UK is down to 2...

apepper 16.01.14 10:21am
'Benefits Street' TV reviews branded 'lazy and disgusting'

Criticism of TV 'reality' show 'Benefits Street' has been branded "Lazy and disgusting" today by avid TV watchers and media savvy members of the public., "All the papers have been full of articles...

NewBiscuit 16.01.14 9:49am
'To be happy spend everyday doing things that make you unhappy', says Dr. Phil 0
Dumbnews 16.01.14 3:24am
Pyramids were early call centres confirm Egyptologists

Leading academics researching pyramids in Egypt have now confirmed that the structures were not used to pay homage to ancient gods and rulers, and were most likely built to accommodate the first...

antharrison 15.01.14 11:54pm
Boy, 8, Disappointed that Giant Killer Man-Eating Plants Do Not Exist

Josh Spencer, an eight-year-old schoolboy from Maidstone in Kent, expressed disappointment today that giant man-eating plants, of the sort seen in [i]Little Shop of Horrors[/i] or [i]The Day of the...

Teenwolf 15.01.14 10:32pm