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Wettest August on record sees Thames Water enforce 'compulsory hosepipe use'

After the MET Office announcement that August was the wettest for 100 years, Thames Water have declared a ’compulsory hosepipe use’. The moves comes just weeks after lifting a hosepipe ban that...

Perks 31.08.12 10:02am
Midfield Diamond
Ecuadorian ambassador gets legal backing to evict squatter. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 31.08.12 9:27am
'Were you planning on washing those cups any time soon'? ambassador asks Assange 2
Haywood Manley 31.08.12 9:05am
Romney: 'I can rebuild America'; receives cash in hand quote from Polish builder 0
thackaray 31.08.12 8:28am
Researchers find Eczema link to 'picking a bad spot' 0
dvo4fun 31.08.12 7:32am
Clint Eastwood makes Obama's day. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 31.08.12 7:08am
Al OPecia
Fat woman rejected by bed fitted with memory mattress 5
Sinnick 31.08.12 6:21am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Fat Brits will cope better than Euro rivals in winter claims Tory good news Csar 0
ronseal 31.08.12 6:06am
Paralympics update : blind sprinters to get greyhounds 0
FlashArry 30.08.12 11:19pm
Paralympic lion to out benefit cheats

Sources at the Department for Work and Pensions have confirmed rumoured plans to release wild lions into paralympic venues to catch out benefit cheats. The plan, inspired by last week's alarming...

BAJDixon 30.08.12 10:43pm
Horseman of the Apocalypse takes dressage gold in Paranormal Games 2
cinquecento 30.08.12 10:41pm
Missing robots may contain stolen plans for the coalition

Two robots allegedly carrying stolen plans for the coalition have gone missing after evading a raid by security forces on a vessel belonging to a dissident Liberal MP who was making a run for freedom...

bonjonelson 30.08.12 10:10pm
Study finds most double edged swords have a dull side 0
Dumbnews 30.08.12 8:11pm
GB Paralympian Sprinter Wins Gold And Siver In The 100 Metres For Schizophrenics

Absolutely true that is. Geezer down the pub told me...

Jonny Shlep 30.08.12 7:46pm
Ancient rock band discovered under sofa

A middle aged Carshalton couple had the surprise of their lives yesterday when they discovered one of the lost wonders of the ancient world under their sofa: a legendary troupe of early musicians...

Des Custard 30.08.12 7:40pm
Des Custard
Mayan 2012 apocalypse prediction: Vatican steadies nerves

A nervous Vatican is said tonight to be preparing for a major statement on the ancient Mayan prediction of an apocalypse striking humanity in 2012. Sources believed to be well-placed within the...

Miss Hegas 30.08.12 6:59pm
Miss Hegas
Beatles underestimated the number of Blackburn holes says latest research 0
Midfield Diamond 30.08.12 6:00pm
Midfield Diamond
Daily Mail Headline Writer Wins £50 On Lottery

The world of news was generous in its appreciation today as it emerged one of its greatest stalwarts Ted Barnes, the Daily Mail headline writer for the past 84 years, yesterday won £50 on the...

Reg Herring 30.08.12 5:14pm
Reg Herring
Windows 8 will have faster spinning cursor. 0
Boutros 30.08.12 5:14pm
Apple 'flummoxed' by Windows 8.

Apple has been left "completely flummoxed" by the announcement from Microsoft of Windows 8. "We had no idea they would bring anything out to follow Windows 7", confessed Timothy Cook, CEO of the...

Boutros 30.08.12 5:02pm
Tickets still available for one-armed boxing 0
pere floza 30.08.12 4:42pm
pere floza
Millions of black holes spotted (BBC Headline)

Nasa's Wise telescope spots millions of supermassive black holes and extremely hot galaxies that had remained obscured by dust., Jimmy Grange of Jimmy in a Jiffy, Doncaster, explained how this...

mathsman 30.08.12 2:55pm
Millions of black holes spotted in Barclays annual report and accounts 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 2:47pm
USA: Republicans lose Latino support over 'Juan out all out' immigration policy

more soon. I'm so sorry, have you see my coat?...

dvo4fun 30.08.12 12:57pm
Clegg to demand Para-Elections for 'differently-abled' political parties

. more soon...

Squudge 30.08.12 11:32am
Essex police call off search for unicorn after concluding photo was of a goat

Police in Essex investigating reports of a unicorn being spotted in a field have called off the search and admitted that the photo they had received as evidence was ‘almost certainly a goat’....

Vertically Challenged Giant 30.08.12 11:22am
The All New Jeni B
EDF Mystified by Loss of Gas Supply to Thousands of East London Homes

Just after 11:30pm on Wednesday 29th August, thousands of homes in East London lost gas supply. Supplier, EDF issued the following statement: ‘At approximately 11:30pm on Wednesday evening,...

HenryMJUK 30.08.12 11:06am
Maynard's Midget gems unwise official sponsors of the Paralympic games 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:36am
1000's of Lawyers descend upon London for the Paralegal games 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:33am
Tricky stick shift manoeuvre results in and Cheryl car crash 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:23am