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Research finds that most people are unable to complete a 1
John Wiltshire 3 years
EU red, white and blue fondant reserves dangerously low 0
3 years
Conveyor belt repairmen ‘struggling to make ends meet’. More soon. 0
malgor 3 years
Man U and Man City to replay until Man U win 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Under the rules which referees seem to be operating to these days, the Manchester United v Manchester City semi-final is to be replayed until Manchester United win. A spokesman for the FA said: 'We...

Gaddaffi ‘s humanitarian credentials: "my mercenaries helping to spread aids" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Jobcentre staff to strike - nation rocked to its foundations 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

The whole of the UK came to a complete standstill today at the news that staff at Jobcentre Plus* staff are to strike., A shaken David Cameron said: 'Never mind Libya or Afghanistan or the royal...

Gaddaffi says that the Libyan public are "gunning for him" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Goodluck Jonathan ahead of Also-ran Terry in Nigeria election. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
‘No rush to reopen M1 southbound’ say southerners 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
LIbraries to follow $potify's lead and start charging for music and book loans 0
simonjmr 3 years
Fraud alert as result of Nigerian election faxed and emailed to millions 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
‘Best before’ labels given ‘use by’ date 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Eriksson denies conning FA into thinking England could win World Cup 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Superinjuction prevents naming winner of PFA Adulterer of the Year award 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Gadaffi blamed for mass grave found in Derbyshire 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Protest Police Concentrated too Much on Kettering 0
arthurminnit 3 years

apologies if its been done before...

PM to demonstrate consistent foreign policy by invading every country on earth 4
OllieP 3 years

David Cameron has announced that Britain will be invading every nation on earth in a bid to please those who criticise the selective nature of Britain's foreign military interventions. While the...

Police Identity Theft an "Inside Job". 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years

Inspector Spooner of the Yard claims "It's hot nackers". The Inspector was otherwise light-tipped last night...

Oxford Professor Has Date For Last Supper........ 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years
Pub landlord wants gay men kissing only in private areas 7
charlies_hat 3 years
"Damned if you do, damned if you don't?", then do something different 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Restaurant to charge extra e if you dare order their low-price special 0
Dumbnews 3 years
World of philosophy in despair as Ockham justifies growing a beard. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Horrific accident ends career of naked high-hurdles champion 0
FlashArry 3 years

"I heard a thwack, a snap and a blood-curdling scream as he hit that third hurdle."...

France stops trains of immigrants from entering by putting leaves on tracks. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
God is dead, police hold Nietzsche for questioning 0
Batmankoff 3 years

more to follow...

Oxford residents describe Netto opening as a 'freak show' after hefty hype 3
ThatsHowISwissRoll 3 years

The proposed dream of Nick Clegg, materialised yesterday, when the grand opening of Netto, Oxford took place. The new Netto sits snugly at the bottom of the Botanic Gardens. Clegg claimed it was a...

Harry Promoted. Nice Timing! 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years

In a joint communique this evening, the MoD and Buckingham Palace have been delighted to announce that Lieutenant H Wales has been given the wank of a Captain and a new uniform. Oh! Peel those...

London Marathon to be renamed London Snickers 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

because its packed full of nuts...

Annie's only Laying Peepfrog - with Andy and Teddy... 3
BewsNiscuit 3 years

From our Royal Correspondent : "Bad" Prince Andrew was, last night, said to be "incandescent with rage" at the very thought of sliding further down the line of succession to the throne if the rules...