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English Independence Party claims 'we asked first'.

The EIP, at its annual conference in Leighton Buzzard, has again claimed that it asked first for independence and therefore Scotland could not be independent from England because England wanted it...

city123 21.11.13 6:14pm
John Cage heirs "owed millions in unpaid royalties by libraries" 0
sydalg 21.11.13 5:14pm
Miley Cyrus praised for her incredible twerk ethic 8
bonjonelson 21.11.13 5:12pm
John Cage fans; "Playing 4′33″ backwards reveals hidden message"

Fans of John Cage are convinced that 4′33″ contains a hidden message that's revealed when played backwards. One explained; "By playing it backwards and staring at a blank piece of paper at the...

apepper 21.11.13 5:11pm
Brit 'slightly shaken' after wobbling on his bike in Outer Mongolia

A British man is said to be 'getting on with things' after he momentarily lost control and almost fell off his pushbike in Outer Mongolia. The 35 year-old man from London, who has not yet been named,...

Robopop 21.11.13 5:11pm
Man Upsets Wife Deliberately to Sleep on Sofa and Watch Ashes

Derek Brown of Halifax has spent the last two weeks being deliberately obtuse and difficult to his wife of 15 years in the hope that she will make him sleep on the sofa downstairs – allowing him to...

james_doc 21.11.13 5:07pm
Sparks fly at angry AGM of Electrician's Union. 0
FOAD 21.11.13 5:02pm
American crime drama blamed for steep rise in number of stupid young people.

Researchers at the world renowned Institute for blaming America for Everything have today published the results of a survey (carried out by the Garnier Statisitical Deception Bureau) that showed that...

FOAD 21.11.13 4:58pm
Warning: Latest health advise may contain nuts 0
beau-jolly 21.11.13 4:39pm
Shortened Jeremy Kyle show gets straight down to the "Why 'er?" 0
beau-jolly 21.11.13 4:32pm
‘Foreign Office inquisition came as a complete surprise’ admits Spanish Ambassad

‘Foreign Office inquisition came as a complete surprise’ admits Spanish Ambassador Despite having been summoned to the Foreign Office twice before in the last two years, the Spanish Ambassador...

malgor 21.11.13 4:29pm
Lightsaber accident on Star Wars set sees C3PO cut 'Down to the Wire' 0
Flugelbinder 21.11.13 4:20pm
Long range forecast predicts Summer like weather in about 7 to 9 months time

The media have quickly seized on this by warning the public of inevitable chaos across the country, particularly the south of England., "Roads will be gridlocked, especially the A303 west bound"...

Flugelbinder 21.11.13 3:47pm
Global warming news to hot up in 2014, warn forecasters

The Met Office has issued alarming long-range forecasts of severe global warming stories expected to hit Britain in 2014., Between the months of March and September there will be widespread news...

NewBiscuit 21.11.13 3:46pm
Women "held as slaves for 3000 years" 0
NewBiscuit 21.11.13 3:44pm
Npower Call Worker admits "I work for evil"

One of the many pleasant, reasonable Geordie accented call workers employed by energy giant Npower today broke down and admitted "I work for evil." Gary Elliot, 29 of Gateshead today admitted "I...

blokefromstoke 21.11.13 2:53pm
Michael Palin finally reveals Bi Polar expedition was a bit depressing at times 0
Flugelbinder 21.11.13 2:23pm
Dead people having more near-life experiences 0
sydalg 21.11.13 2:16pm
Deaf man "just can't get that John Cage tune out of his head" 0
sydalg 21.11.13 2:16pm
Boy Mauled by Lion in Wardrobe

The child, who claims he was speaking to Jesus, remains in intensive care 13 hours after he was found scratched and bloodied in the upstairs bedroom of his rural home. His grandfather, Digory Kirke,...

tomholder 21.11.13 11:22am
Inventor of 'most waterproof surface ever' charged with cruelty to ducks 0
jp1885 21.11.13 10:53am
Princess Anne’s ‘Horses for Courses’ cookbook tipped for Christmas top spot

Retailers have announced their Christmas sales predictions today, revealing that Princess Anne has a ‘strong chance’ of reaching the festive top spot for December book sales with the launch of...

Jesus H 21.11.13 10:47am
Seventies style 'tight-bastard fathers' set to ruin kids' Christmases

Millions of children will wake to disappointment this Christmas day if miserly middle-aged fathers have their way. According to a survey of 40 to 45 year-old dads, a staggering 95% said they’d...

Robopop 21.11.13 10:34am
"Rev" Flowers To Be Labour Candidate In Falkirk

Len says it's OK...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 21.11.13 9:54am
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
World Chess Federation to vote on women bishops

More to follow...

apepper 21.11.13 7:43am
I-pad made of clay turns out to be original tablet design 4
davetwojackets 20.11.13 11:57pm
Sir Lupus
Co-Op Now offering lenders new "Blue" Product

The newly appointed chief of the Co-Op Bank has hinted at an "Exciting and lucrative " change of direction for the bank. At a hastily convened press conference, the new Chief Executive, who gave his...

blokefromstoke 20.11.13 11:49pm
Sir Lupus
Rest of UK named 'Capital of Cheap Shots & Lazy Stereotyping 2013' 4
Idiot 20.11.13 11:48pm
Sir Lupus
Culture effect: House prices in Hull already heading towards double figures.

More cheap shots soon...

deskpilot3 20.11.13 11:38pm
Iain Duncan Smith 'working at Poundland' claim refuted

Reports that Department of Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith is working as a shelf stacker at an East Midlands Poundland store have been dismissed by the store's manager. Mr Duncan...

roybland 20.11.13 10:58pm