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Politician outlines 2-year plan to develop next economic bubble 0
Dumbnews 01.02.12 7:59pm
Dumbnews
Outed ex pro Robbie Savage calls for tolerance of football's thespians

Footballing macho man Robbie Savage gave 110 per cent every game and never shirked a challenge. He faced down some of the game's hardest men, stood up to Alex Ferguson and even took Stuart Pearce out...

2
ronseal 06.02.12 1:53pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cyclist apologises for 'obeying a red light'

A cyclist in Oxford has been forced to apologise for confusion caused to all other road users when he took the irresponsible decision to obey a red light. The chaos that ensued led to 3 cars being...

15
Perks 03.02.12 4:35pm
beau-jolly
‘I’m Sensing You Know Someone Called Dave’ Predicts Country’s Top Psychic

The entire population of Britain was gripped by the amazing revelations of the UK’s top psychic in the TV event of the century last night. “The Mystic Mondo” (real name Raymond Grimes) amazed...

8
UnoEye 03.02.12 12:53pm
Midfield Diamond
Detective in Redknapp trial to appear in remake "Men who Stare at Gits". 0
Al OPecia 01.02.12 5:39pm
Al OPecia
Redknapp breaks into song at tiral "Beckham on my mind". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.02.12 5:38pm
Al OPecia
Isaac Azimov develops the iRobot

I'll get my coat...

0
Smart Alex 01.02.12 5:02pm
Smart Alex
Woman said to have done the same job for sixty years never actually had a job

Claims that a Windsor woman has done the same job for sixty years have been challenged on the grounds that she has never had a job. Employment lawyer Adam Simons said that shaking hands with people...

2
roybland 02.02.12 12:07pm
Mathna
Creative Roman Emperor invents iClaudius

(hat-tip to Mrs Nick)...

1
Sinnick 01.02.12 4:53pm
Smart Alex
Manufacturer of pirate goods develops the iPatch 2
Smart Alex 02.02.12 10:30am
Username
Labour hails breakthrough which allows access to the thoughts of coma patients 0
dvo4fun 01.02.12 3:32pm
dvo4fun
Home Secretary Theresa May repeals The Prevention of Terrorism Act 2005!

In a surprise move today, Home Secretary Theresa May has repealed The Prevention of Terrorism Act 2005. She told reporters that we really couldn’t go on with an Act which had been rushed in just...

2
hardev 01.02.12 11:35pm
hardev
Lawyers confirm Rosie Redknapp 'not a happy bunny' but a very rich doggie 0
simonjmr 01.02.12 2:07pm
simonjmr
Fred Goodwin sacked from Channel 4's "Deal or no deal" 0
antharrison 01.02.12 2:00pm
antharrison
Credible Witness Solves Alien Abduction Mystery

Retired RAF Wing Commander Richard Thomas (DFC and Bar) claims to have solved the mystery of why so many people claim to have been abducted by Aliens. “The Aliens are in it for the Tesco Clubcard...

9
The All New Jeni B 02.02.12 10:12am
Username
Helen Skelton to join Ellen MacArthur in new bid for World Yachting Record.

" This time, it won't be Plain Sailing.", Say's Spokesperson., "And btw . This time, don't expect ME to look after the cat."...

0
rob box 01.02.12 1:56pm
rob box
Helen Skelton to join Ellen MacArthur in new bid for World Yachting Record. 0
rob box 01.02.12 1:40pm
rob box
Lidl rename cheese 'yummy moo lumps' after letter from moron

Always keen to put the customer first, Lidl has responded to a letter from a moron by renaming all their cheese-flavoured products 'yummy moo lumps'. "We received a letter written in crayon from one...

15
15.06.12 4:22am
Miliband demands to know what PM did about last government cock ups

Ed Miliband had a brilliant Prime Minister's Question Time today, landing several telling blows on his Old Etonian foe. "What I'm asking is this: Where was the current Prime Minister, when we were...

3
ronseal 01.02.12 3:41pm
dvo4fun
Fred Goodwin awarded title of ‘Banker’ under new dishonours system

Following the decision to strip former RBS boss Fred Goodwin of his knighthood, Buckingham Palace has unveiled a new dishonours system to recognise those who have made a ‘substantial and prolonged...

1
Long Distance Clara 01.02.12 12:55pm
Golgo13
Angela Merkel to present Fred Goodwin with Iron Cross

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has spoken in gushing terms about her agent Fred Goodwin, ahead of the ceremony to present him with the Iron Cross. "By undermining the value of the paper on which...

0
01.02.12 12:20pm
Insurance brokers forced to call in pest control after meercat infestation 2
jp1885 02.02.12 10:44am
jp1885
Health and Safety Executive to ban emotional roller-coasters. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.02.12 11:45am
Al OPecia
Goodwin 'Didnt' Want it Anyway'

Fred Goodwin reacted to the stripping of his knighthood today saying "I didn't even want it anyway." Fred had received his knighthood in 2004 for services to banking having invented the popular...

7
LizzyG 01.02.12 3:43pm
dvo4fun
Residents at care home “proper chuffed” as royal visitor ignores buffet

Linda Phillips, Head Nursing Executive at the Sunshine Towers old peoples’ home in Devon, this morning told of the residents’ delight when the visit from Princess Anne resulted in the provision...

4
kimllfixit 01.02.12 3:51pm
dvo4fun
Sainsbury rename Lion Bar the 'High Fibre Diet Turd Bar' 0
charlies_hat 01.02.12 10:31am
charlies_hat
Mrs Brian Cox admits that she often has trouble locating her husband 1
medici2471 01.02.12 12:22pm
Al OPecia
Calls for Sir Max Mosley to be stripped 0
medici2471 01.02.12 9:30am
medici2471
Bus Drivers in Brighton told to "steer clear of affection"

The friendly snog with the driver could become a thing of the past on Brighton's public transport network, as busy-body bus bosses have told employees that intimate contact with passengers is no...

7
Golgo13 01.02.12 7:19pm
godly1966
Polo club aims for wider audience by allowing pantomime horses

Royal Leamington Spa Polo Club is attempting to bring the sport of polo, traditionally an upper class activity, to a wider section of society by allowing players to compete on pantomime horses....

5
Vertically Challenged Giant 02.02.12 10:39am
dvo4fun