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Former Hitler Youth member deserts for a second time. 0
MADJEZ 11.02.13 1:01pm
MADJEZ
Bears no longer certain about permissibility of shitting in woods. 0
wallster 11.02.13 12:44pm
wallster
That resignation in full

But everyone was at it in those days! How old!? She told me she was twenty seven! I resign...

0
lane-avenger 11.02.13 12:44pm
lane-avenger
E-cigarettes lack 'glamour of death wish' claim tobacco companies

Smokers who use electronic cigarettes are missing out on the real enjoyment of smoking - 'the glamour of the death wish', according to tobacco companies. 'There is no tobacco tar in e-cigarettes,'...

0
roybland 11.02.13 12:13pm
roybland
Findus launch new Soylent Green Crispy Pancake…. 1
theinvisiblecitychannels 11.02.13 12:12pm
theinvisiblecitychannels
Pope resigning "to spend more time with his family" 0
jamesr 11.02.13 12:11pm
jamesr
Linda McCartney vegetarian meals found to contain uniquorn

More soon. Well, no, because I can't be bothered to write anything more than the title...

3
JonnyJP 11.02.13 11:13am
JonnyJP
“Let’s salute the roast beef of Old England”, says Flat Earth guy...

Kevin Arnott, Interim President of the Flat Earth Society, Hemel Hempstead Chapter, has added his reedy voice to the clamour of complaints about horse-meat in ready meals. “Traces of horse-meat...

5
Tripod 11.02.13 11:10am
Tripod
Horse abattoir - Findus in yellow pages 0
lane-avenger 11.02.13 11:08am
lane-avenger
Rescuers searching for missing fisherman find canoe

Despite continuing efforts to locate him, Bridlington Coastguard say they have yet to find any trace of local fisherman Tony Marshall, missing since Sunday after he failed to return home from a...

0
Idiot 11.02.13 11:02am
Idiot
Welsh singer stabs love cheat girlfriend, sings about it

The prosecution has opened its case in the trial at Cardiff Crown Court of Thomas Jones for the murder by repeated stabbing of his former girlfriend Delilah Lloyd-Thomas. Jones, 72, has pleaded...

10
Oxbridge 11.02.13 10:52am
topfotogmw
Man’s advice to gays regarding marriage: Don’t do it!

“Everything changed for me after the wedding and setting up home”, recalls Mariusz Singleton. “Until we went through our nuptials our lives were satisfactory, I mean we had the same run of the...

6
topfotogmw 11.02.13 10:35am
topfotogmw
Young Mum retaliates against urban foxes

The recent attack by an urban fox on a baby has given an enterprising new mother an idea to start a new business. Bored stupid being at home all day with her new baby, Linsi Kingston was initially...

0
rogerg 11.02.13 10:26am
rogerg
Owen Patterson insists beef is safe, force feeds John Gummer with Big Mac. 0
wallster 11.02.13 10:02am
wallster
Scandinavians found to be 100% Norse

Or is that a bit stupid?...

0
Rootin Tootin 11.02.13 9:57am
Rootin Tootin
Greggs withdraws Jumbo sausage rolls.

Sorry its the Elephant in the room...

0
godly1966 11.02.13 9:51am
godly1966
Q&As

What does MP3 stand for? Sir,, ‘M’ and ‘P’ are the thirteenth and fourteenth letters in the English alphabet, respectively, whilst ‘C’ is the third letter. Thus, MP3 actually stands for...

1
Mik Bulk 11.02.13 9:20am
Username
Countdown clock to go Digital

After the recent controversy caused by switching the scoreboards on their show from an LCD display to monitors, the producers of long-running quiz show and current 'Deal or No Deal' lead-in...

0
WatcherMark 11.02.13 2:10am
WatcherMark
Nick Clegg admits using a stunt double for shafting public

After his stunt double was caught smoking in public last week, Nick Clegg has been forced to admit he uses an actor, Malcolm, to deliver damning news to the public and perform other deeds which may...

5
kga6 11.02.13 1:04am
dvo4fun
Urban fox found to contain 2.9% baby

I'll get my coat...

2
sponge finger 11.02.13 12:54am
Squudge
Eddie Redmayne sick with Norovirus

Wins Barfta...

1
topfotogmw 11.02.13 12:53am
Squudge
Apathetic astrophysicist discovers 'Doesn't Matter'. 16
wallster 11.02.13 12:03am
nickb
Hamster wheel from Newsbiscuit server found discarded in wheelie bin 2
Squudge 10.02.13 10:59pm
Squudge
Chinese celebrate the Year of the Piers Morgan

We have to wait until 2019 for the Year of the Jeremy Clarkson...

1
quango 10.02.13 10:57pm
Squudge
Jimmy Saville accusations spreading to the US.

Following news of child abuse by former BBC DJ Jimmy Saville - literally hundreds of allegations have flooded in to both the Met Police and the BBC. Earlier this week it was revealed that Sooty and...

3
edoode 10.02.13 9:23pm
edoode
Chinese only just celebrating new year

I'd never realised that time zones were so far apart (gets coat)...

0
Smart Alex 10.02.13 9:08pm
Smart Alex
Bloke walks into a supermarket and asks 'why the long face' ? 0
Mandy Lifeboat 10.02.13 8:52pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Horsemeat row "Gift that keeps on giving" says NewsBiscuit spokesman 1
Drylaw 10.02.13 8:47pm
sponge finger
Dog leads the way!

A local dog has led the way. The proud pooch has successfully guided the stricken village of Yamy out of disfunction by leading the way. Yamy in Blomsphere has suffered badly these last several...

0
Mik Bulk 10.02.13 8:43pm
Mik Bulk
Changing Of The Guard 'disappointing' as army holds charity non-uniform day 0
Smart Alex 10.02.13 8:22pm
Smart Alex