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As news series of 'The Apprentice' begins

Lord Sugar admits he's trying to find someone who will actually continue to work with him for over a year...

Smart Alex 07.05.13 7:19pm
Smart Alex
Helen Mirren steps in to cover Commonwealth meeting. 2
weematt 07.05.13 6:47pm
Lenny Bee
Steven Gerrard to have shoulder surgery: chip to be removed 0
Sinnick 07.05.13 6:32pm
Kylie has wardrobe malfunction - door comes off hinges

No more soon, sadly...

John Wiltshire 07.05.13 6:04pm
Tarbuck arrested. Geoffrey Wheeler asked "What are the odds?" More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 07.05.13 5:40pm
Government to announce OBE amnesty 2
bonjonelson 07.05.13 5:33pm

Funnyman David Walliams is today celebrating the creation of his first new comedy idea in well over a decade - the creation of a human being. Following several years of peddling the same, asexual,...

Shakes McNails 07.05.13 4:53pm
Shakes McNails
UK Full Emergency Plan implemented as Sir Bruce Forsyth arrested 0
Drylaw 07.05.13 3:31pm
Jimmy Tarbuck was the fifth paedo.

More Yewtree mania soon...

MADJEZ 07.05.13 3:02pm
Tarbuck traumatised girls with call of 'Oh-ho' 1
Oxbridge 07.05.13 3:01pm
New NHS 222 phone service for second opinions

Recent criticism of the NHS 111 phone service has seen medical professionals set up a new service to offer second opinions. From next Monday, anyone unhappy with the advice they receive from 111 can...

johnnydobbo 07.05.13 2:58pm
Government to ban men over 50 from wearing embarrassing hats in public

Under the forthcoming Sartorial Standards (Male Headwear) Regulations, the government will ban men over 50 from wearing most forms of headgear in public. The Regulations will focus on the public...

John Wiltshire 07.05.13 2:09pm
Phil Collins favourite to become new Millwall manager as no Jackett required. 5
seymour totti 07.05.13 1:12pm
John Wiltshire
Operation Yewtree Latest: Roger Whittaker flees Durham Town in Police chase 0
Scronnyglonkle 07.05.13 1:09pm
National Lottery Tombola game announced

The govenrment intends on getting rid of unwanted gifts, and raise funds with a new tempting format alongside Saturday National Lottery, EuroMillions, Millionaire Raffle, Thunderball and HotPicks...

gaijintendo 07.05.13 12:33pm
. 1
Gary Stanton 07.05.13 12:25pm
Science proves that nothing is cooler than Bill Hicks.

Physicists have now confirmed what many people have long suspected - that nothing in existence is cooler than Bill Hicks. The legendary black-clad comedian, best-known for his acerbic diatribes...

sredni vashta 07.05.13 12:13pm
sredni vashta
New NHS 000 sex therapy help line. Dial oh.... ohhh...... ohhhhh

hat tip to johnnydobbo...

weematt 07.05.13 11:33am
Man who said he wasn't being funny or nuffink lives up to his promise 0
ronseal 07.05.13 11:32am
Tarbuck Arrest, Proof-Positive That Government Bent On Undermining......

comic industry?...

Jesse Bigg 07.05.13 10:52am
MOT to use string theory to relieve congestion on the M25

The Ministry of Transport is to use string theory to relieve congestion on the M25 orbital motorway. According to an official, the small number of dimensions available in classical physics is a...

Terry 07.05.13 10:49am
Cameron's Big Idea?

Stronger knicker elastic, to keep UKIP at bay?...

Jesse Bigg 07.05.13 10:47am
Jesse Bigg
Ronnie O'Sullivan works out link between playing snooker and receiving money

Following his win at the Snooker World Championship, Ronnie O'Sullivan announced that he has realised that there is a connection between playing snooker and receiving money. 'I think I've got it...

John Wiltshire 07.05.13 9:53am
John Wiltshire
Welshman celebrates £10 windfall after unlikely 1p bet on Welsh teams happens 0
simonjmr 07.05.13 8:32am
Tarby to be rebranded as Tawdry 0
Scronnyglonkle 07.05.13 7:05am
Crimewatch UK 'forced to reflect falling crime rates in its reconstructions'

Official figures showing crime at its lowest rate in 30 years have opened up the BBC to yet more criticism of bias in the reconstructions it uses on its monthly Crimewatch UK television programme. A...

Tristan Shout 07.05.13 6:51am
Tristan Shout
OBE to become new tagging system for sex offenders 0
Wrenfoe 07.05.13 5:29am
Ugly scenes as 1970s confronted by vigilante mob. 1
sredni vashta 06.05.13 11:20pm
sredni vashta
Child gains concept of death

Katie Davies, a three year old, today became aware that one day she would die and cease to exist. The news that her life was an inconsequential blip in the history of the universe came as a shock to...

Hooch 06.05.13 11:14pm
sredni vashta
Two dimensional movie characters demand ban on printed guns. 0
Maverick 06.05.13 9:35pm