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Merkel backs right not to wear a hoodie 5
charlies_hat 14.07.12 1:00pm
JohnA
Home Secretary Admits Illegal Chips May Infiltrate Olympics

Theresa May today admitted she had grave doubts about G4S’s abilities to keep non- McDonald’s potato products from entering Olympic Park. ‘It’s a nightmare scenario really,’ said May....

6
daneade 14.07.12 11:40am
MADJEZ
Olympic Security - Tabloids On Red Alert For Jessica Ennis Wardrobe Malfunction 0
14.07.12 11:28am
Fully functioning feudal state found in remote part of Norfolk. 3
Thor 14.07.12 11:06am
yussle
G4S blames "staff shortages" for shortage of staff

No G4S spokesman available...

0
apepper 14.07.12 10:34am
apepper
Man quits his attempts to get 'analogue retweets' trending

Social media addict, Billy Granite from Rochdale has decided to stop attempts to bring virtual interaction in to real life following a number of embarrassing incidents. His latest habit saw him...

7
Perks 14.07.12 8:42am
button
Man walking dog "astonished" to not find body. More soon. 6
Al OPecia 14.07.12 7:01am
Al OPecia
Victoria Beckham bloats to 34 stone as diet drops to ‘homeopathic levels’

Victoria Beckham has ballooned to nearly 35 stone, after accidentally adopting a homeopathic diet. Beckham is said to have skipped a crucial mung-bean salad last week, diluting her calorie intake to...

1
14.07.12 6:19am
dvo4fun
Court declares Terry is "whiter than white" 0
bonjonelson 13.07.12 11:14pm
bonjonelson
Judge claims he said 'not guilty' to John Terry in a sarcastic manner only 4
charlies_hat 13.07.12 8:27pm
dvo4fun
Terry: 'This has been a black day for English football'

after Spitting Image...

0
Mark Gregory 13.07.12 7:23pm
Mark Gregory
I didn't say 'Invade Poland,' I said 'Invade Poland?' claims Hitler 1
Hooch 13.07.12 6:24pm
custard cream
UK Olympic Pole Dancer Arrested

Police swooped on a Hammersmith sports club at 1.00a.m last night and arrested acclaimed UK Olympic pole dance medal prospect, Vanessa Fosdyke-Smythe. Ms Fosdyke-Smythe (23) and her...

1
13.07.12 5:39pm
Ironduke
Relegated to Div3, but bookies still make Rangers second favourite for SPL title 0
oblongscone 13.07.12 5:27pm
oblongscone
Wiggins, Millar and Froome owe it all to Norman Tebbitt, says Cameron. More soon 0
dominic_mcg 13.07.12 4:45pm
dominic_mcg
As a result of Terry verdict OED forced to redefine meaning of 'Irony' 2
pinxit 13.07.12 4:03pm
Ironduke
Ryanair to surcharge for transponder response for flights over London 1
medici2471 13.07.12 3:42pm
FlashArry
Rausing husband unfit to question-treadmill and weights requested by CID

Rausing husband unfit to question-treadmill and weights requested by CID...

0
HIGNFY 13.07.12 3:40pm
HIGNFY
Terry to record "Please, please, please, please release me, let me go.." 0
medici2471 13.07.12 2:49pm
medici2471
.

Nothing to see here. Wrong roomTit!...

0
beau-jolly 13.07.12 1:33pm
beau-jolly
G4S Olympic security arrangements: “Will all be in place by August.”

“Over the 7 year period since London was awarded the Games our security arrangements are less than four weeks behind with a fortnight to go; around a mere 1-2% overall.” said Home Secretary...

6
dvo4fun 13.07.12 1:11pm
Ironduke
Cheryl Cole writes 'book'...

a triumph for remedial education., Hat-tip to cue-ball...

0
Thor 13.07.12 12:07pm
Thor
Posh Spice fails in heroic attempt at a four minute smile 1
simonjmr 13.07.12 11:04am
simonjmr
Poor people to be allowed access to landfill sites at meal times

The Government has announced that benefit claimants and those on low wages are to be offered the chance to subsidise their income by being given access to public landfill sites to scavenge for food....

5
Corrigan 13.07.12 10:58am
Drylaw
May announces Boris Bikes "intergral" part of Olympic air defences

There is "no question" of Olympics security being compromised, the home secretary has said, after it emerged that 4,000 Boris Bikes will be drafted in to form an integral part of the Olympic air...

0
simonjmr 13.07.12 10:55am
simonjmr
Cheryl Cole writes book.

Inspired by her recent reading of "Fifty Shades of Grey", whilst on holiday in Las Vegas, all round pain in the arse Cheryl Cole has decided to pen her own erotic novelette for the discerning lady...

2
cueball 13.07.12 10:34am
beau-jolly
M.O.D confident of winning gold in Olympic shooting competition

Failing that they'll 'remove' the opposition...

0
Psycadelic Squirrel 13.07.12 9:33am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Disneylogians hail discovery of ritual, horse-shoed mouse fossils

Leading Disney theologians have spoken of their excitement, following the discovery of the fossilized remains of four tiny mice. Crescent-shaped ore deposits hint at feet shod with horse-shoes, the...

8
13.07.12 8:43am
Life Peers to be replaced by wanking monkeys in house of lords overhaul

In a surprise U-turn this morning, the government have publicly abandoned plans for an elected house of Lords, instead taking the tough decision to replace all life peers with a crate load of wanking...

6
The Masked Frog 13.07.12 6:39am
writinginbsl
GB Olympic rowing team seeking bail-out

more soon Hat; coat; door...

9
dvo4fun 13.07.12 6:37am
writinginbsl