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West Coast Main Line deal delayed by wrong type of Virgin 2
Queen of Tarts 03.09.12 9:12pm
Mitt Romney reveals ‘secret recipe’ for home-cooked Crystal Meth

In a move bound to endear him to his legion of followers, Mitt Romney has finally revealed the recipe for his home-cooked crystal meth. Described variously as ‘unbelievable’, ‘confusing’ and...

03.09.12 9:03pm
The All New Jeni B
Cabinet re-shuffle settled by game of musical chairs

Clegg dumped on his bottom as the music stops. More soon...

Squudge 03.09.12 8:05pm
Coalition back on track following successful team-building day

Downing Street has announced that the future of the Coalition Government is once again rosy after Cabinet ministers from both parties took part in a highly successful day of team-building exercises. ...

ianslat 03.09.12 8:04pm
Queen of Tarts
Re-shuffle latest: Eric Pickles to be floated in North Sea as offshore tax haven

. More soon...

Al OPecia 03.09.12 6:55pm
Al OPecia
Blake accuses Bolt of having longer legs 2
tedweasel 03.09.12 6:23pm
Burgled Man Calls Police and Orders Pizza – Pizza Arrives First

Police in Bedfordshire have apologized to a Luton man after they took over 2 hours to respond to a 999 call after the victim returned home from work to find his home had been burgled. Simon Brown...

HIGNFY 03.09.12 6:13pm
Osborne to speed up planning permission process for Nick Clegg's idea

George Osborne has today announced a new policy that will see the speeding up of planning permission for Nick Clegg speeches and interviews. The move is designed to stop the Deputy Prime Minister...

Perks 03.09.12 6:10pm
Usain Bolt's "legs too long" say Olympic rivals 0
Scroat 03.09.12 5:31pm
Whales launch invasion of Scotland 1
grottymonty 03.09.12 3:29pm
Injuries to bird described as mynah. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.09.12 3:09pm
Paralympic Roundup - New record for Britain in the 100m for the acutely solemn

Andrew Brown a semi-professional depressive from Stoke was typically downbeat about his new record on another fabulous medal-laden day for the British team. Earlier in the pool the 50m backstroke...

grottymonty 03.09.12 2:56pm
Des Custard
Prince Edward 'green with envy' as Andrew slides down massive erection 0
pere floza 03.09.12 2:30pm
pere floza
Dragon's Den Contestant: Duncan Bannatyne's cash pile "Mostly Scottish notes"


gaijintendo 03.09.12 12:16pm
Man with weird hairstyle annoyed that noone looks at him weirdly 2
Dumbnews 03.09.12 11:44am
Swimming pools urge middle age men to stop copying Daley by wearng tiny y-fronts

Leisure centres up and down the country have issued a stark message to swimmers after a surge in the number of males who have taken to tight y-fronts after seeing Tom Daley win a medal. One...

quango 03.09.12 8:10am
Val Doonican 'Worried' 1
antharrison 03.09.12 7:54am
The All New Jeni B
Oscar Pistorius "Regally Pissedoffius" 0
Drylaw 03.09.12 7:32am
"Comedian" Frankie Boyle still not dead 3
Lucy4 03.09.12 6:18am
Shovels and spades discovered in elephants' graveyard

Dick Everyman 03.09.12 6:01am
Cameron Man or Meerkat

Recent jibes referng to David Cameron as a political mouse have given rise to suggestions that the PM is replacing cabinet posts with animal impresonations A source close the PM claimed "No one...

kjo36 02.09.12 11:36pm
Government reveals plans to challenge Chinese Para-Olympic supremacy.

In a joint press announcement The Secretary of State for Sport, The Secretary of State for Defense and Lord Coe laid out plans challenge the supremacy of the Chinese at the next Para-Olympics in Rio...

hardev 02.09.12 10:06pm
Mourners don PVC raincoats as Max Bygraves' coffin is lowered...

(you may have to think about this one for a sec. I promise you it almost certainly isn't worth it)...

Skylarking 02.09.12 9:18pm
The All New Jeni B
Good and Evil now neck and neck in the polls as both shift to centre ground

The fight between Good and Evil could see a disappointing turn out at the polls, with voter apathy blamed on the convergence of the two parties. "They're all the bloody same," said one voter,...

ronseal 02.09.12 8:52pm
"50 Shades of Grey" update : Amazon to produce Kindle/vibrator hybrid 0
FlashArry 02.09.12 8:32pm
Lionel Blair Must Pay For Crimes - Archbishop Tutu

Light entertainment veteran Lionel Blair must pay for the destruction and sorrow he has wrought upon the world according to the Archbishop Emeritus of Cape Town, the Most Reverend Archbishop Desmond...

BAJDixon 02.09.12 7:29pm
Huge naked Northumberland woman sobers up and goes home. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.09.12 5:36pm
Stranded Pilot Whales miss Bournemouth Air Show 0
Queen of Tarts 02.09.12 3:00pm
Queen of Tarts
Fans furious as 90% of Paralympics tickets went to benefits fraud investigators

Sports fans are up in arms as tickets for the latest Olympics have been allocated unfairly once again. It emerged yesterday that 90 per cent of tickets have gone to the DSS, with the majority being...

ronseal 02.09.12 9:44am
Baroness Warsi tipped for post far, far away - purely on merit 2
Squudge 02.09.12 7:00am