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BBC olympic coverage inspires a generation to watch TV & use internet even more 0
charlies_hat 09.08.12 10:06pm
charlies_hat
Mars dirt just as useless as ours, says NASA 1
Dumbnews 09.08.12 9:13pm
nickb
Child suffers 'I want never gets' v 'Don't ask don't get' quandary 0
button 09.08.12 8:47pm
button
The Golden Shot - "Bernie, The Bolt..." 0
Iscariot 09.08.12 8:24pm
Iscariot
Metropolitan Police Trial New Empathy Weapon In War On Yardies

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8442/7748057554_e5efd64638.jpg...

0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 6:54pm
Nowherefast
British house reaches semi-finals

Following the Team GB fractions reaching the quarter-finals, there's been more success for a mock-Elizabethan property near Chorley...

0
apepper 09.08.12 6:32pm
apepper
UK's top universities 'still producing world-class arseholes'

Britain’s top universities are still capable of churning out endless arseholes, despite recent attempts to force the odd prole through their doors. That’s the claim made by bursars at Oxford and...

9
09.08.12 6:26pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Chat show legend Michael Parkinson 'not to blame' for ending Bob Hoskins' career 3
dvo4fun 09.08.12 6:23pm
Perks
Sunderland's female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women's boxing

A group of teenage women who attend Saturday evening frolics at the Get Down nightclub in Sunderland have grouped together to complain about the lack of ferocity and passion in the Olympic women's...

2
antharrison 09.08.12 5:57pm
RickH
Cameroon hide and seek team break Olympic record 0
Actual Size 09.08.12 4:01pm
Actual Size
Satirists praise GB football team for doing the usual

Writers of spoof news stories, who have been starved of easy targets during Team GB's exceptional performance at the London Olympics, have expressed their relief that at least the footballers did...

1
Oxbridge 09.08.12 3:51pm
beau-jolly
Monti Sinks Entire Italian Budget Into Durex Shares As Pope Lifts Condom Ban

The European Central Bank reports that, following Italian premier Monti's action to stimulate growth, inflation figures will most likely remain variable. "The issue remains fluid but at the present...

0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 3:41pm
Nowherefast
Daley Thompson tells media "It sunk in this morning" 2
charlies_hat 09.08.12 3:18pm
button
Tony Blair Deeply Worried That Nobody Cares That He's Deeply Worried 0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 3:17pm
Nowherefast
British youth successfully inspired by menial Olympic support roles

Lord Coe has hailed a survey published today that confirmed that the youth of the nation has been inspired to become menial assistants. Concerns that the London Olympics would fail to deliver the...

0
ianslat 09.08.12 3:06pm
ianslat
Rhythmic gymnasts to perform with humans

In a shock announcement, organisers of the Rhythmic Gymnastics Monitoring Committee have released new rules regarding the use of artistic aids in their routines. The gymnasts – who usually wiggle...

2
kimllfixit 09.08.12 2:52pm
kimllfixit
Olympics Just A Giant Wankfest For Plymouth Man

Simon Kendall, 34, a telecoms engineer from Plymouth was yesterday admitted to hospital after collapsing from exhaustion, brought about by my, I mean his, excessive masturbating whilst watching...

0
HIGNFY 09.08.12 2:17pm
HIGNFY
Two men arrested for cheese fight, charged with Fromage Frais 1
Iamthestig 09.08.12 1:58pm
godly1966
New human sub-species found living on housing estate in Rotherham. 0
wallster 09.08.12 1:24pm
wallster
Mars Curiosity Landing: "Not Enough Strings and Pulleys" Says W. Heath Robinson

"It's a bloody miracle it made it down in one piece!" was the informed assessment of British contraption aficionado William Heath Robinson on the landing of NASA's Mars Curiosity Rover this morning....

5
Nowherefast 09.08.12 1:09pm
Nowherefast
10k swimmer disqualified for "heavy petting" 0
seymour totti 09.08.12 12:56pm
seymour totti
Steve Ovett promises to organize an "even better London Olympics" next year 7
bonjonelson 09.08.12 11:45am
charlies_hat
Gu Kailai secures China a gold medal for the high jump 1
medici2471 09.08.12 11:35am
Nowherefast
Olympic fever sparks new diet craze

Visitors to the London Olympics have been shedding the pounds with a brand new diet – the Hoskins. Named after Hollywood legend and star of Super Mario Bros., Robert William ‘Bob’ Hoskins Jr,...

2
The_RLJ 09.08.12 11:05am
The_RLJ
Health and safety gone mad as javelin catching cancelled

More to follow...

1
apepper 09.08.12 10:29am
beau-jolly
Curiosity rover II reaches Mons Venus

NASA staff were jubilant last night as Curiosity II, sister ship to the Mars rover, beamed the first grainy pictures from a region hitherto unknown to rocket scientists. 'The rover touched down at...

0
NewSuburbanDad 09.08.12 10:04am
NewSuburbanDad
Team GB 'best at sitting down'

As Team GB continues to rack up medals, Olympic officials have pointed out that British athletes seem to be excelling in events which involve sitting down. Rowing, cycling, sailing and canoeing have...

1
GreenCross 09.08.12 9:42am
beau-jolly
Michael Gove Plans Equestrian Dressage Courses For Academy Schools 0
09.08.12 9:27am
Recession Hit Edinburgh Fringe Renamed Edinburgh Comb Over 0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 9:19am
Nowherefast
Hermaphrodite tennis player to compete alone in mixed doubles 0
Iamthestig 09.08.12 9:14am
Iamthestig