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Arial Black breaks up with Lucida Bright - "she just wasn't my type" 0
Bertrand Twisted 05.06.13 10:06am
Bertrand Twisted
France sends 200 tons bearnaise sauce to tournedos disaster zone 2
cinquecento 05.06.13 9:50am
Lindy Moone
Reliable offshore data security company for expert password protection service

For completely free trial with whole moneyback guarantee, simply to be sending your bank account password in the strictest confidence to Mister Arthur (Barrister) email

Arthur 05.06.13 6:29am
New Dr. Oz show discusses how to rid yourself of Dr. Oz 1
Dumbnews 05.06.13 6:28am
Lindy Moone
Decorating the Bank Of England was 'an inside job'

more emulsion-related shenanigans soon..ish...

brianflan 04.06.13 11:56pm
‘Large Hadron Collider a scam’ says 3 armed scientist

In a final 15-fingered salute to unethical research, a recently sacked scientist has blown open the secrets of CERN. As the budget for The Large Hadron Collidor at the European Organization for...

brianflan 04.06.13 11:54pm
Pfizer CEO admits self-raising flour is main ingredient of Viagra 0
sydalg 04.06.13 11:42pm
Rev Fred Phelps outraged at discovering he's a member of Homo sapiens 0
sydalg 04.06.13 11:38pm
Bradley Manning becomes the face of Adult Diapers

Shortly before going on trial, Private Manning announced a new sponsorship deal with Tranquillity Incontinence Products. While others have characterized the US soldier's leaks as a threat to national...

Wrenfoe 04.06.13 11:28pm
Secret UKIP plans to decimate the metric system revealed

Previously unreleased plans left on a beer-mat in a pub where Nigel Farage had been drinking have unveiled the UKIP’s plans to reinvigorate and restore the UK’s traditional Imperial measurement...

bonjonelson 04.06.13 11:24pm
Sweatshops to be modelled on Candy Crush

Labour Unions have expressed outrage at recent proposals to model work environments on the popular Game-App. What was originally assumed to be an unfortunate spelling error for a range of...

Wrenfoe 04.06.13 11:20pm
Clegg Urges Speed With Gay Divorce Bill

For reasons best known to himself...

colophon 04.06.13 9:17pm
Island Changes Name to 'His Heart is Like Ice, Our Heads Crack Like Watermelons'

(Warning! This article has not been approved by the government of '[url=]Your Hand is Like Ice, Your Ass is Like a Watermelon[/url]'.) Surprise! This...

Lindy Moone 04.06.13 9:13pm
Tristan Shout
Angling club funds stolen by password phisher

Treasurer admits that he rose to the bait [i][Dictated by Arthur and posted in his absence][/i]...

Arthur 04.06.13 7:31pm
Experts concerned magnetic levitation trains project 'won't fly' 0
custard cream 04.06.13 3:37pm
custard cream
Royal non-emergency service launched: one, one, one

This will replace the German-run emergency service: nein, nein, nein...

John Wiltshire 04.06.13 2:34pm
John Wiltshire
Bankrupt dating site admits banner ads for Rohypnol a mistake 0
sydalg 04.06.13 2:22pm
Junior minister fired for answering the actual question he was asked by Jon Snow

.no chance...

Bertrand Twisted 04.06.13 1:54pm
Bertrand Twisted
Nick and Dave "tried to lure us into a threesome" says Labour

sydalg 04.06.13 1:52pm
Michael Douglas regrets not following ex-wife's advice to "kiss my ass" 0
Bertrand Twisted 04.06.13 1:48pm
Bertrand Twisted
New sponsorship deal means Womens Ashes clash to be renamed the Bodyform Series 0
Scronnyglonkle 04.06.13 1:38pm
ITV in "Bad Language" row

ITV have today been censured by Ofcom following a TV programme which featured a string of expletives from Prince Charles. It was during a walkabout at the Chelsea Flower Show when the Prince was...

Rootin Tootin 04.06.13 12:02pm
Rootin Tootin
Binge-eating pensioner admits it all started when she swallowed a fly

The old lady whose eating spree included several large animals has warned how such binges can start innocuously. “When I had my fly snack I thought nothing of it”, she said. “But then, I...

sydalg 04.06.13 12:00pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
North Ikea football star Roo Ni Wayan may quit over gnome unrest.

Manchester based football star Roo Ni Wayan is reported to be considering handing in a transfer request. In a tweet he has expressed his fear for his family over the North/South Ikea gnome...

weematt 04.06.13 11:46am
Convicted golf pro set to swing. 0
sredni vashta 04.06.13 11:18am
sredni vashta
Michael Douglas claims it was just a slip of the tongue. 0
Ian Searle 04.06.13 10:15am
Ian Searle
Traces of Camembert found in Tesco Value Chedder. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.06.13 10:04am
Al OPecia
Husbands overwhelmingly in favour of 'some sex' marriage bill

more on your birthday...

blacklesbianandproudofit 04.06.13 10:04am
Not Amused
Man finds "Forgotten password" security question is "what's your password?" 1
Smart Alex 04.06.13 9:01am
Lindy Moone
Scotland "deeply divided" over gay porage law

The possible legalisation of gay porage could hi-jack the independence debate and divide the electorate, a new poll suggests. Gay porage, a hot topic for the Scots, could mean bed and breakfasts ...

nickb 04.06.13 8:53am
The All New Jeni B