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Miliband Parachutes Into Congo To Save NHS

After it was reported that the NHS was kidnapped during a recent holiday, the Labour Leader has made it his mission to rescue it. Miliband said, “The NHS is in danger that much we know. Suggesting...

Hooch 05.02.12 10:44pm
World computer meltdown predicted for 29 February 0
roybland 05.02.12 7:15pm
Grateful nation thanks the Queen for keeping Prince Chakes off the throne

Plans to honour the Queen's sixty-year achievement of keeping Prince Charles from becoming monarch are well underway according to organizers of the Diamond Jubilee anniversary celebrations. 'She's a...

roybland 05.02.12 8:05pm
Gay beekeeper comes out in hives. 4
Stan 06.02.12 11:44am
Police hunt for “white clad Parson Brown” in sham marriages mystery.

An enigmatic figure claiming to be a Church of England Minister is the subject of an extensive rural search after allegedly pressuring a young couple to undergo a marriage ceremony of questionable...

nickb 05.02.12 5:47pm
Shortage of African animals after zoo mistakenly orders a giraffe excluder 1
Smart Alex 05.02.12 4:50pm
Dictionary In Turmoil As "Q" And "U" Announce Shock Seperation 0
sredni vashta 05.02.12 3:44pm
sredni vashta
Treacherous road sold kiss'n'tell stories of bedroom romps to the tabloids

The A308 has been condemned as treacherous, after it was unveiled as the source of a series of Kiss'n'tell stories that appeared in the Sunday Mirror. Though it's foundation was made of hardcore,...

ronseal 05.02.12 3:35pm
Lord Voldemorte stripped of peerage

Well known wizard, Lord Voldemorte has been stripped of his peerage and will henceforth be known as "Mr Voldemorte". This follows allegationa of cruelty to snakes...

apepper 05.02.12 3:20pm
All future knights must prove they have killed a dragon, says Queen. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 05.02.12 2:53pm
Man charged with Substance abuse after breaking best of New Order 2 cd set


virtuallywill 06.02.12 9:13am
Huge increase in overtime amongst sports journalists

as millions of pages of rugby related copy have to be rewritten...

John Ffitch-Rucker 05.02.12 2:15pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Mates of man charged with perverting the course of justice say he's a great guy

A man charge with perverting the course of justice is one of the finest men to walk this earth according to his mates and ex-work colleagues. 'He's my best friend,' said one of the man's mates, 'and...

roybland 05.02.12 5:18pm
Forget WMDs, Al Qaeda to bring down the West with a big snow machine. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.02.12 10:05am
Country gridlocked by surprise, long-predicted, snow fall. 0
riesler 05.02.12 9:51am
Submissions board braces itself for flurry of snow-based double-entendres

The Satireiological Office has issued an unprecedented 'Amber' double-entendre alert, as the Newsbiscuit writers room braced itself for a deep covering of gags about 'Katy Perry/Vicky Price/Norfolk...

Skylarking 05.02.12 3:52pm
Alex Salmond irate that an 85% UK Govt Bank sponsors the Scottish rugby team

"It's an obvious case of Uk interventionism, an a blatant attempt to scupper the referrendum for independence" said Mr Salmond at Murrayfield yesterday. "The English government obviously pressured...

simonjmr 05.02.12 10:36pm
Prince William to work in Falkland Island gift shop for six weeks

in an act of national defiance to recent Argentinan rumblings, Prince William will work as an assistant in a Port Stanley gift shop. This 'show of force' will see him selling a range of Falkland...

LostLad 06.02.12 4:43pm
Investigate report finds the ony one clicking on facebook ads is Mark Zuckerberg

Claims he clicked on them by accident 100 billion times...

Dumbnews 05.02.12 2:16am
Ryanair profits soar as pick'n'mix introduced at checkin.

some rubbish about profits soaring' Michael O'Leary grinning like a 'kid in a sweet shop', stiff penalties for going over your 100g allowancestuff like that (it's too late to write this rubbishand...

LostLad 05.02.12 2:13am
New Formula 1 season: latest gossip

New Formula 1 season: latest gossip, • McLaren to carry out further trial at Dubai GP of last year’s successful new suspension system based on Arab Spring., • Jenson Hamilton expected to beat...

JustSomeBloke 07.02.12 12:04am
Man reads 'store in a cool place' on tin so takes it to Greenwich Village 1
Smart Alex 04.02.12 11:17pm
Mass evacuation after LUSH store goes into partial meltdown, [center][i]Cross section of cheekily suggestive-looking LUSH Valentines bath bomb[/i][/center]...

Skylarking 08.02.12 10:07am
Major Clanger
Temperatures rise as 'Car Thermometer debate gets heated'

The totally seasonal weather this weekend has seen a shopping centre in Northampton become scene of violence on a scale not seen since August. Disturbances broke out following a conversation that...

Perks 06.02.12 5:22pm
Glasgow KFC to serve deep-fried ear, after successful trial 2
Sinnick 05.02.12 10:25am
Nails UK
Hardworking family claims exclusive use of 'hardworking family' tag

A move by the hardworking Mr and Mrs Rupert Deveraux-FilbyMoore family to acquire the exclusive use of 'hardworking family' is likely to be robustly resisted by politicians. Mr and Mrs Rupert...

roybland 04.02.12 6:36pm
Laser nose surgeon denies being the “bogeyman” of new medical procedures

For years, Laser eye surgery has been a medical fact of life. Simple, effective, routine and instant. Dr Gary Spring is a pioneer who has earned millions from its widespread use . But yesterday he...

nickb 05.02.12 5:11pm
Concerned Japanese swordsman to become Samurai worrier 1
Smart Alex 04.02.12 3:29pm
“You’ll new die alone.” Liverpool’s tribute to Cairo

Liverpool-based ‘Fans but Hooligans Club’ has congratulated their Egyptian counterparts on the stunning score in Cairo earlier this week: “Our lads had held the world record since Hysel in 1985...

dvo4fun 06.02.12 9:09pm
Met Office issues yellow snow warning - Don't eat yellow snow. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 04.02.12 9:43pm