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Brucie: Mr Saturday Knight 3
beau-jolly 3 years

Did I mention this before, ages ago?...

Weiner to be handled by shrink. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Incentives for households to generate own nuclear power 'ill-conceived' 6
3 years

The government is facing claims that their energy policy is 'flawed', after announcing new incentives for households to produce their own nuclear power. Ministers have been disappointed at the...

Betfred revealed as George Osborne’s Plan B 0
roybland 3 years

George Osborne hopes to hand the running of the British economy over to bookmakers Betfred if his deficit- reduction policy fails, it has been revealed. The chancellor - who has always denied he has...

Ken Clarke's unacceptable posture exposed in What a Gait scandal 0
ronseal 3 years

Ken Clarke, with his unconventional views on rape and his ambassadorial role for the Chinese cigarette industry, should be a role model for young people in this country. Idolised by young fogeys,...

God steps into policy row: “my boy really meant all the wishy-washy lefty stuff” 3
FraserWords 3 years

God today stepped into the simmering row between Church and Cabinet over Coalition policy and declared: “My boy really meant it about all the wishy-washy trendy lefty stuff.”, The Almighty told...

Father gutted when teenage son finds barbecue that does clean itself 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Brian Jones was less than amused after his son James (Jamie, actually) managed to come up with a barbecue that actually cleans itself James (Jamie) said “dad always had an answer, “yes you can...

Archbishop of Canterbury dismisses Second Coming as a poor sequel. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Al Qaeda to advertise vacancies on Monster. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

"must be educated to NVQ level three, or have similar experience in global terrorism."...

Newspaper censured for not using 'nice to knight you' Brucie headline 5
FraserWords 3 years

To knight you, nice...

Dyslexic Judge grants super injection 0
arnied 3 years

Champagne guzzling Zed list "celebreties are queing upI know I'm a crap speller!...

Kidnapped backpacker mainly worried about photo of her being used on the news 9
DrTurmoil 3 years

Trisha Campbell, a 31-year-old charity worker currently chained to a radiator in Yemen, was reported to be spending most of her time between being bundled roughly into the boot of cars and...

Students criticise'impossible question' as 7x table appears in MediaStudies exam 10
JonnyJP 3 years

The UKs exam bodies were again under scrutiny following yet another mistake in one of this years exam papers. Ofqual, the UKs regulator of examinations and qualifications has branded the series of...

Conservatives to indroduce voter friendly policies 2
virtuallywill 3 years

The government is thought to be reconsidering its controversial plans to see through one of its policies., “We’ve had many years in opposition to refine and hone our policies that one of them...

No headlines here 2
virtuallywill 3 years
UN refugee centers fill up as thousands flee saturday night violence in Glasgow 0
thackaray 3 years

. Any one think there could be a full story in this one, taking the piss of the violence in Syria ?...

Man Boobs to Save the Planet 5
The Underpant 3 years

The new technology of Frictitious Energy Generation is being pioneered in deprived areas such as Radcliffe and Salford in Greater Manchester, whereby unemployed men suffering from long term moobs are...

Balls leak delights fans of double entendre 9
pthr 3 years

Lovers of risqué puns could barely contain their delight today as the Ed Balls scandal continued to simmer. Guffaws were heard when Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, refused to be blamed for...

Ryan Giggs retires from football, starts acting on "Pobol y cwm" on S4C 0
JohnA 3 years

"Although we don't understand his Welsh, we do understand his body language" says TV producers...

Group Of Drunken Bankers (No Brucie) Let Cat Out Of The Bag.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

By coming up with the slogan, "Nice to fleece you, to fleece you, nice."...

Bunny born without ears near Fukushima plant isn't worried as he doesn't watchTV 0
doggone 3 years
Crew Of "SS Aston Villa" Start To Abandon Ship..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.As local supporting pirates try a take-over., "It's us lads who'll choose the next team leader,OK!"...

Volvo fears irreparable brand damage after Brown-Blair feud revelations 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Giggs 'wrecking image of sheep-loving Welsh' 6
FraserWords 3 years

Football love rat Ryan Giggs is tarnishing the image of his native Wales, said campaigners yesterday., MP Ron Bonkers fumed: “We’ve spent decades carefully building up a comedy image of Welsh...

Tories To Launch New Home Heating Policy For Pensioners And Low Earners..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.A box of matches. "And make them last all winter! OK?"...

Archbishop of Canterbury attacks Arsène Wenger for lack of "killer touch" 3
pthr 3 years

Dr Rowan Williams, no stranger to controversy, has attacked Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger for his overuse of foreign players and lack of "killer touch". Wenger played down claims that the...

Labour plotters could u more terror strikes as cover for next bout of infighting 0
ronseal 3 years

A crack team of spin doctors and smear merchants is understood to have landed in Westminster and gone underground, ready to spring into action on the date of the next terror atrocity. These elite...

UK film censors ban The Very Hungry Caterpillar 15
Ludicity 3 years

Following their ban on The Human Centipede 2, the British Board of Film Classification have now refused a certificate to The Very Hungry Caterpillar, due to what they describe as ‘shocking images...

Beelzebub furious at Church of England over "Cassock lifters" 1
arnied 3 years

Beelzebub was quoted as "not being amused" at the ordination of gay bishops within the Church of England. While rotating his head and performing huge projectile vomits he growled "That Runcie needs...

Roxette release updated 80's hit, "She had the look" 0
Dumbnews 3 years