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Ringo ‘wrong’ about Yellow Submarine insists McCartney

Former Beatles and Wings front-man Paul McCartney has fallen out with former band member Ringo Starr over claims that the two once shared a Yellow Submarine together and that all their friends lived...

Gerontius 19.12.12 8:44am
Get More Poor Kids onto the Nice List or Lose Your Monopoly, Santa Warned

Father Christmas has been threated with the removal of his monopoly in the UK market following the publication of this year's Naughty or Nice list, which again shows that the list a child gets on is...

james_patching_1 19.12.12 8:38am
Letting Rudolph guide sleigh didn't make other reindeer love him, admits Santa

Santa Claus has admitted that his decision to allow Rudolph to guide the sleigh last Christmas resulted in the red nosed reindeer becoming less rather than more popular among his colleagues. "I'd...

james_patching_1 19.12.12 8:33am
Santa’s elves despair at 45 day redundancy consultation

When Amrod the elf opened his Christmas pay-packet the bonus he had anticipated after twelve months of hard graft in Santa’s workshop was not there. In its place a redundancy notice spelled out...

Dick Everyman 19.12.12 8:27am
Valuables ‘missing’ after Queen’s visit to Downing Street

Prime Minister David Cameron has been put in an awkward position after staff at No.10 reported the disappearance of a number of wallets, handbags and mobile phones immediately following the Queen’s...

Long Distance Clara 19.12.12 4:55am
Pole Vaulting country rest as High-Bar Nation ordered to sleep


Bourbon 18.12.12 11:33pm
Part of The Queen named after frigid wasteland. 0
wallster 18.12.12 10:58pm
McFlurry McCosta Ronald McDonald

Poor Ronald McDonald was held firmly by the knackers recently by Sarah Finch, an outstanding employee in a Carmarthen fast box eating restaurant., "A friend asked for extra sprinkles so I let her...

Tess Goes 18.12.12 9:57pm
Tess Goes
IT department shuts down for Christmas, goes into cybernation...

Kind of neato I'll just get my coat...

Psycadelic Squirrel 18.12.12 9:37pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Man looks forward to using all 12 place settings in dishwasher on Christmas day

Tony Norris from Stockport, a keen amateur chef and by day a senior trading standards officer, has expressed his delight at the prospect of using the space for all 12 place settings in his new...

antharrison 18.12.12 9:36pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
South Africans rejoice as 'Dancing President Zumba' re-elected

There was dancing in the streets of Johannesburg tonight as locals celebrated the re-election of their President, 'Dancing Jacob Zumba.' President Zumba was quick to thank his supporters and danced...

custard cream 18.12.12 8:42pm
custard cream
Antarctica to be named after queen. Now known as Eltonjohnica. 2
MADJEZ 18.12.12 7:58pm
Tess Goes
Ricky Gervais set to join Muppets

Too latehe already is one!...

victimms 18.12.12 7:56pm
Tess Goes
Uncle Sam puts gun in holster, fingers in ears, goes “la, la, la”... 0
Tripod 18.12.12 7:17pm
Teenager plays violent video games, doesn't kill anyone. News media baffled. 0
Gaz 18.12.12 7:00pm
Park rangers urge campers not to stuff rubbish in hibernating animals

Park rangers at Yellowstone Park have asked campers to take their rubbish home with them, rather than tucking it into the folds of slumbering animals. “These animals are bloody expensive, and...

Nunnion Splendacular 18.12.12 6:38pm
Former panto star concedes "it's behind me". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 18.12.12 6:37pm
Chaos in Toytown as horse bolts from stable as door left open

There was mayhem in Toytown as a horse, previously described as of good breeding and benign character, galloped out of his stable after the stable door had been left ajar. The horse headed straight...

JohnA 18.12.12 6:24pm
“End of the world? Bring it on!”, says man in hock to 0
Tripod 18.12.12 6:23pm
'Queen delighted with place mats' say Buck House

In an historic visit to Downing Street earlier today, the cabinet presented Queen Elizabeth II with 60 place mats in recognition of the number of properties she has keys to here in the UK, The...

Gerontius 18.12.12 6:15pm
Europe to enter joint single squad for 2020 competition

The governing body of European football UEFA today announced its plans to field a single joint European side for the Euro 2020 tournament. A squad of 25 players originating from any European country...

Tooth 18.12.12 6:09pm
Philip reveals he's been describing Queen a cold wasteland for years. 2
Gaz 18.12.12 5:33pm
Met police boss hopes to investigate real crime 'sometime in 2014' 0
medici2471 18.12.12 5:14pm
Customer feedback on fake testimonials website 'questionable'

A website which provides fake testimonials to businesses short of positive customer feedback is facing a backlash, after it was revealed that reviews for their service were also fabricated....

Connews 18.12.12 4:25pm
One for the ticker line?

Down and out management consultant living rough urged not to think out of the box this Christmas...

Columboss 18.12.12 4:08pm
Aslef: "Boxing Day strike will save train drivers phoning in sick individually" 6
dvo4fun 18.12.12 3:54pm
Mayan children delighted by prospect of 5 chocolates at once 5
charlies_hat 18.12.12 3:45pm
Mel Greig, Australian prank call DJ taken off air, dies of oxygen deprivation 0
Connews 18.12.12 2:14pm
UK to name part of Antarctica 'Sponging-Old-Bag-Land' 1
Idiot 18.12.12 2:13pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Queen joins Mo Farah in high altitude training camp

Buckingham Palace announced today that HRH The Queen has interrupted her Christmas holiday at Sandringham and flown out to a high altitude training camp in Kenya. A palace spokesman revealed that at...

18.12.12 1:29pm