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Change in double jeopardy law allows battery thief to be recharged

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apepper 28.04.12 10:02am
Government accused of copyright theft as clowns hire big top lawyer

The National Union of Clowns and Jesters have accused the government of stealing their act. A clown spokesman explained; "Making yerself look daft is the prerogative of the working clown, now the...

apepper 28.04.12 9:48am
UK Currency Featuring Prince Charles’s Face May Contravene Human Rights Laws

It's been argued that upon the Queen's demise subjecting the British public to using money featuring Prince Charles's repellent face may prove so harrowing as to contravene EU human right's laws. In...

UnoEye 28.04.12 9:18am
U2 Return To Their Roots By Forgetting How To Play Their Instruments

While U2 have remained a fairly popular band over the ups and downs of the many years of their career, a significant portion of their old fans has become disenchanted with the accomplished,...

Textbook 28.04.12 8:57am
Woman finds Jesus figurine that looks like a slice of toast

There was widespread astonishment at the weekend when Catford woman, Brenda Norris, showed reporters her plastic Jesus figurine that looked uncannily like a slice of toast. Daily Mail reporter,...

Yikes 28.04.12 8:51am
Apple to branch into pharmaceuticals with iBuprophen.

We have a cure for your technology headaches, said a spokesperson...

Maverick 27.04.12 11:11pm
Up yours to Al-Quaeda as planes have sex over New York.

America stuck it's finger up to Muslim extremists by allowing a Space Shuttle to shag a jumbo jet over New York. Ooh take it you dirty bitch...

MADJEZ 27.04.12 11:05pm
After Cleo Laine debacle, now a parking ban on Lois Lane. 0
Maverick 27.04.12 11:04pm
Cameron announces inquiry; Lady Malaprop to probe Culture Minister Hunt. 0
Ironduke 27.04.12 10:12pm
Amazing Cameron outburst: "I'm fed up"

"I'm fed up and I don't mind admitting it," said PM David Cameron yesterday in an extraordinary outburst during his daily press conference. "Okay I shagged Thingy with the red hair I can't remember...

Drylaw 27.04.12 9:43pm
Tag-hacking limited to “one rogue reporter” claims NB chief

Newsbiscuit chairman John O'Farrell today defended his publication against accusations that the practice of “tag-hacking” – leaving anonymous, derogatory comments on fellow users’ submissions...

grumblechops 27.04.12 9:36pm
London Gridlocked By Lorry Driver Eager To Transport Fuel

The streets of London came to a standstill today as car-drivers across the capital rushed to rubber-neck the sight of a trainee lorry driver only too willing to carry fuel for a living. This...

GKen 27.04.12 9:25pm
One Direction to release greatest hits after shock split

One Diection fans were in a state of shock last night after the band announced their plans to split up. It is believed the break up of the group was caused by a story leaked to the tabloids claiming...

bananaman 27.04.12 9:03pm
Siege over: Sky News team held and forced to talk about nothing all afternoon.

Police are being praised after storming the Sky News studio late this afternoon. During a slack news day bosses locked the staff in the studio and forced them to talk non-stop for five hours while a...

MADJEZ 27.04.12 8:52pm
Stunt for remake of "Man in a Suitcase" goes tragically wrong, claims MI6 2
medici2471 27.04.12 6:55pm
Chummy the Police Dog who sniffed out 100 bent coppers is suspended

Chummy, the police dog who was trained to sniff out corrupt policemen, has been suspended on full pay, pending an investigation. Top brass at Scotland Yard are understood to be poring over the police...

ronseal 27.04.12 6:10pm
Murdoch; "I never told editors what to publish"

In other news, the Sun newspaper has named Rupert Murdoch "World's most attractive man."...

apepper 27.04.12 5:08pm
Increase in Brits conversational Danish linked to BBC4 Saturday night dramas

A recent report highlights that more and more Brits are becoming adept at conversational Danish, and that this is due to BBC4 showing more and more Scandanavian dramas on a Saturday night. The...

simonjmr 27.04.12 3:09pm
Hide and Seek association pays tribute to dead MI6 agent

The Head of Britain's elite 'hide and seek' team has paid tribute to the 'imagination and professionalism' of MI6 agent Gareth Williams, who was found dead in a hold-all at his London flat., The men...

Underconstruction 27.04.12 2:18pm
Retired arms dealer Tappin endorses Halfords 'Missile Care Centres'

Retired arms dealer Christopher Tappin, accused of attempting to supply Iran with batteries for missiles, has spoken about his extradition ordeal in the US, as well as his new business venture with...

27.04.12 1:55pm
Tragedy strikes as R Kelly believes own lyrics.

He ‘believed he could fly’ but sadly found out to his cost today that the best he could do was splatter on rocks. He 'believed he could touch the sky' but as R Kelly discovered, the only thing he...

Barry Van Hire 27.04.12 1:20pm
Barry Van Hire
Barclays to sue over mis-sold protection against PPI claims

Barclays Bank is to sue Gilbert Dunn, a door-to-door insurance salesman from Watford, for mis-selling them a policy he claimed would protect them from paying out on any policies they mis-sold to...

Qoxiivi 27.04.12 1:15pm
Man gored by unicorn "living in a fantasy world" say police. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 27.04.12 1:12pm
Ed Miliband calls for himself to resign

In a move during Prime Minister’s questions yesterday Labour leader Ed Miliband left both sides of the house speechless and in shock., Miliband looked David Cameron in the eyes and demanded that...

Scronnyglonkle 27.04.12 1:07pm
Relief as Spain finds €50 note under the bed 0
Yikes 27.04.12 12:19pm
Victims more likely to get closure in open and shut cases, study shows. 0
Not Amused 27.04.12 12:12pm
Not Amused
Locking yourself in a holdall to be the new Rubik's cube. 0
rustytruss 27.04.12 11:52am
Gordon Brown assembles NoW Avengers to aid Leveson

Hulking Gordon Brown, has called for the assemble of an elite force of avengers to right the wrongs committed by News International and his arch nemesis Murdoch I and II. The self proclaimed Irn Bru...

simonjmr 27.04.12 11:39am
Netherlands to restrict coffee in Ganja Cafes

A judge in the Netherlands has today, upheld a new law to ban foreigners from drinking coffee in cannabis cafes, amidst growing concern that some foreigners are attempting to have sparky, civilised...

Old Hat 27.04.12 10:54am
Old Hat
Public loses Isle of Man land dispute...

The general public has lost a legal battle in a dispute over access to a path near to Jeremy Clarkson's Isle of Man home. The public claim that having a path so close to the Top Gear presenter and...

DiY 27.04.12 10:19am