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Abu Hamza fails airport retina and fingerprint scanner security

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/63089000/jpg/_63089255_gku0l3lu.jpg more soon...

4
custard cream 08.10.12 9:03pm
FlashArry
Tracey Emin’s unmade bed vandalised. Nobody notices... 0
Tripod 08.10.12 6:29pm
Tripod
Pre-conference bender leaves Osborne with ‘spider’s web’ face tattoo

A regrettable night on the razz has left Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne sporting a massive spider’s web tattoo on his face, just a day before he presents the country’s headline...

12
DustyBinLaden 08.10.12 6:19pm
custard cream
Elderly couple grow pot plant

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-19868327...

0
Sinnick 08.10.12 6:07pm
Sinnick
Bill remake to use ducks

Controversial plans have been made to remake the soap, "The Bill" entirely acted by ducks. An ITV spokesman explained; "It make sense; every time you see a character, you'll be reminded of the...

0
apepper 08.10.12 5:41pm
apepper
'I no longer have the stomach for it,' says teenager after booze binge 4
Idiot 08.10.12 5:40pm
Underconstruction
Female cheese expert was fondued in BBC canteen 0
Underconstruction 08.10.12 5:36pm
Underconstruction
De Matteo admits to having more dressing room problems than the BBC 0
Underconstruction 08.10.12 5:21pm
Underconstruction
BBC accused of discrimination by former worker who wasn't fondled

The BBC has announced that it will conduct an urgent internal inquiry, following claims by a former production assistant that she wasn't sexually abused during her time with the corporation.,...

0
Underconstruction 08.10.12 5:08pm
Underconstruction
Osborne plan for poor people to sell their children

More to follow...

0
apepper 08.10.12 5:02pm
apepper
Teenager's Torso Removed After Eating Kebab

A teenager has had emergency surgery to remove her torso after eating a kebab containing weapons grade plutonium. The 18-year-old is reported to have become breathless and developed severe stomach...

0
domshmom 08.10.12 2:21pm
domshmom
Jimmy Savile Charity to change it's name to Gary Glitter Trust

Following damaging allegations about Sir Jimmy Savile, the charity that bore his name has decided it is appropriate to change it's name to the Gary Glitter Trust. "I've always been a bit of a fan",...

0
apepper 08.10.12 1:42pm
apepper
Osborne denies being against disability living allowance. "I hate all abortion" 0
B.E.P. 08.10.12 1:38pm
B.E.P.
Radio 1 DJ's report constant stream of unwanted griping by Chris Moyles 0
charlies_hat 08.10.12 1:35pm
charlies_hat
Breaking News: Cameron "To Abolish The Poor"

David Cameron has made a shock announcement at the Conservative Party Conference that the poor are to be abolished as of January 2013. "Enough's enough!" he declared to rapturous applause in the...

0
UnfitMother 08.10.12 1:11pm
UnfitMother
Well, he was famous for being 'into jewellery...'

http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/jimmll_edit.jpg...

3
pinxit 08.10.12 1:02pm
Sinnick
Small shopkeepers tend to be short staffed 0
weematt 08.10.12 12:11pm
weematt
Hamilton accuses Button of not following him, but overtaking and winning. 0
Boutros 08.10.12 12:05pm
Boutros
Small shopkeepers struggling with high overheads. 0
weematt 08.10.12 12:00pm
weematt
Small shopkeepers responsible for majority of under the counter selling. 3
weematt 08.10.12 11:57am
Midfield Diamond
'It'll come in handy for my son's Subbuteo Rugby set' says Paul Wood 2
Idiot 08.10.12 11:56am
Supermarkets wage war over offensive wording of special offers

Several of the country’s large supermarket chains have recognised that referring to Buy One Get One Free offers as ‘BOGOF’ has seen the term enter into everyday parlance. Consequently, they...

6
Midfield Diamond 08.10.12 11:33am
Midfield Diamond
Catholic church condemns Savile for abusing under-age girls 5
Oxbridge 08.10.12 11:20am
pinxit
Chancellor will not win Nobel prize for economics - rumour

Chancellor George Osborne will not be awarded this year's Nobel prize for economics, according to rumours circulating in Stockholm. Osborne was thought to be in line for the prize - to be announced...

0
roybland 08.10.12 10:23am
roybland
Gorden Ramsey to host Washing Up programme.

"There's over 30 fucking cooking programmes a fucking week," said the Chef, "but none about fucking washing up!", It's fucking bollocks....

0
philthefunk 08.10.12 10:09am
philthefunk
Boris diary to-do list...

Ur, um, er..upset Liverpool (tick), Upset Portsmouth (tick), act like an oaf (cont), Become Leader of the hooray henry party., Become Prime Minister, Make Cheryl Cole Chancellor (phwoar!),...

0
philthefunk 08.10.12 9:56am
philthefunk
Abu Hamza refused US entry because he couldn't give fingerprints 1
Sinnick 08.10.12 9:06am
Squudge
Jimmy Savile waved his cigar at me and murmured "urrr ah urr ah urr ah urr"

Newspaper columnist Penny Thoughts has launched a strong entry in the increasingly competitive Jimmy Savile anecdote market, with a tale of how the newly identified pervy DJ waved a smokable phallic...

2
ronseal 08.10.12 9:05am
Squudge
George Osbourne to save £10bn by selling off Olympiads.

George Osbourne will outline at the Tory Party Conference today how he can save £10bn by selling off Team GB., "It's my intention to destroy all the good feeling the Summer Olympics by selling our...

0
philthefunk 08.10.12 8:49am
philthefunk
Gary Barlow Exits In Disgust, After Louis Walsh Empties Himself Over Rylan Clark 1
08.10.12 8:42am
Oxbridge