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Mammoth in the room asks if you can turn the central heating down a little. 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Elephant in Romania blames faulty satnav... 1
be reasonable 3 years

You herd it here first. No trunk calls allowed, not even by Fleetwood Mac...

Alex Ferguson to sign up to respect campaign "providing refs stop being cunts" 0
thisisall1word 3 years
AA meeting ignore pink elephant in room 0
thisisall1word 3 years
US unemployment hits all-time low 1
Gerontius 3 years

Unemployment in the US has fallen for the 4th consecutive month in a row, adding credence to the claim that the war on two fronts in the middle east is at last starting to yield beneficial results.,...

Video streaming providers compete to provide cheaper free content 0
Dumbnews 3 years
'My, what a lovely long trunk you have!' says sycophant in room 0
Ironduke 3 years
Bereaved to be given free mourning-after pill... 0
be reasonable 3 years

more to follow...

'Morning after pill' now free for whales 2
Scroat 3 years

Delivered by fork lift truck...

BA to codeshare cabin crew strikes. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Scottish police search private residence for Libyan Foreign minister. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years

or to put it another waya police spokesman said "There's a Moussa Koussa loussa aboot the houssa"...

Purists Decry Cesar Millan Playing 'The Phil Drabble Part' In A Hollywood 17
3 years

Blockbuster Remake of One Man and His Dog...

Call girls turn to FT as Sport newspapers folds 1
Mrblacker 3 years

Prostitutes, massage parlours and doggers say they'll start advertising in the Financial Times after the Sport Media Group, confirmed it was going into administration. The company, which published...

Jumbo in Hounslow sitting room result of computer error says Air Traffic Control 0
euanc 3 years

. . . more later, if we don't sort it out...

Finally Fred Flinstone wins the fight, and that cat stays out for the night! 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Neglect charges likely as RSPCA investigates death of elephant in room 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years

If you can't beat them...

BBC in a quandry as Fake Ken Bruce April Fools gains 2 million more listeners 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The BBC's April Fools joke to have Rob Brydon mimic Ken Bruce for the entire show today seems to have backfired. Not only was the Fake Bruce funnier, sharper and ruder, 2 million more listeners tuned...

Blackpools 4 remaining nuclear families set to break down. 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Trial for new earthquake ride in Blackpools Golden Mile theme park go well 0
Basil_B 3 years
Warring parents fail to agree terms for sex talk with teenage son 20
allmyownstunts 3 years

Talks reached deadlock between Cirencester couple Leonard and Susanne Davis, parents of seventeen year old Gus, over the line to take when they eventually pluck up courage to have the sex talk with...

Moussa Koussa to star as baddie in Usual Suspects remake 0
Basil_B 3 years
"Rangers could go bust" smiles Celtic chairman 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Sarkozy Gifts Lavish, Central Parisian Love-Nest to Kate and Wills, 1
3 years

Known As 'The Royal Amourie'...

Oil price apocalypse: ‘bring it on’ say would-be road warriors 2
jp1885 3 years

While the ever-rising price of oil, caused in part by unrest in the Middle East, is hurting the pockets of families and businesses alike, there is one group that welcomes the inevitable economic...

New Ford Mobility Scooter twangs knicker elastic at twenty yards, says Clarkson 0
ronseal 3 years

Top Gear producers have decided on a mature focus for the programme, more in tune with the age of its presenters. GOT TO CYCLE TO RICHMOND NOW MORE LATER...

HEAT MAGAZINE PIPS COUNTRY LIFE IN RACE FOR ROYAL WEDDING EXCLUSIVE 0
3 years
Welsh farm vets get go-ahead to issue free morning-after pill 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Stobart obeys Highway Code by refusing to go above 56 3
charlies_hat 3 years
Red flags for cars back on Isle of Wight roads after new funding found 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
France refuses to accept M&S back or to give a refund 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years