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Andy Murray's English citizenship fast-tracked 0
Nick McCarr 11.09.12 3:56am
Nick McCarr
Careless driving Transport Minister merely community service placement

While many have been baffled as to how David Cameron could appoint someone convicted of careless driving as Transport Minister, the explanation has now emerged: Simon Burns is simply working out the...

Sir Lupus 10.09.12 11:37pm
Sir Lupus
Free marketeer Osborne calls for paralympic delegulation 0
antharrison 10.09.12 10:09pm
God appears on old vegetable box.


robzrob 10.09.12 10:07pm
Royal corgi to get state funeral

David Cameron has announced there is to be three days of mourning, a public holiday and a state funeral in memory of Monty Windsor one of the Royal corgis who sadly passed away over the weekend.,...

Gerontius 10.09.12 10:06pm
Council sends in bailiffs as Richard theThird's car park bill exceeds £1m 1
custard cream 10.09.12 9:31pm
The Coal Hole In The Wall Gang Not Dead - Just Resting

Reports emerging from the Strand appear to be suggesting that the 'Coal Hole In The Wall Gang' - a crowd of slathering, mewling, puking, folding itinerant internet trolls, are not in fact dead, but...

Martin Shuttlecock 10.09.12 9:20pm
Martin Shuttlecock
GCSE exams to be replaced with Top Trumps, says Gove. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 10.09.12 7:45pm
Teachers' parents will be fined if teachers bunk off on strike days... 0
deskpilot3 10.09.12 6:48pm
‘Let me commit career-suicide without dignity’ pleads Frankie Boyle

Infamous 'taboo busting' comedian Frankie Boyle issued a distraught plea to the media yesterday; asking to be allowed to finally kill off his TV career. Boyle has requested that his...

Skylarking 10.09.12 6:04pm
Helen Skelton reminds parade viewers that 2016 games will be held in Brasil 0
MrQ 10.09.12 5:25pm
Spare Olympic medals to be sold off on ebay 0
grottymonty 10.09.12 4:18pm
Lord Coe finds what is actually written on the bottom of British products is...

"Open other end"...

Smart Alex 10.09.12 2:46pm
Smart Alex
3 arrested in Delhi with Primates hidden in pants, Catholic church no comment 0
simonjmr 10.09.12 1:30pm
Tour of Britain race to overnight at Knowsley

Sinnick 10.09.12 10:47am
Paralympics has lame closing ceremony 2
Sinnick 10.09.12 10:05am
Schoolchildren refuse NUT plan for unauthorised days off in term time 0
charlies_hat 10.09.12 8:28am
Lib-Dems dream of Parelection gold

In the wake of the inspirational Paralympics, Nick Clegg has called for a 'Parelection' following the next General Election, to provide a level playing field for politicians of all abilities. "It...

Squudge 10.09.12 6:36am
Zombie Apocalypse is actually the Second Coming, Jesus reveals

In a surprise appearance last week, a man claiming to be Jesus revealed that the much anticipated 'zombie apocalypse' of 2012 is actually a mis-communication of the intended 'Second Coming'. Jesus...

Squudge 10.09.12 6:32am
Boris Johnson in a bid to become Doctor Who

Following weeks of speculation, the office for the Mayor of London has confirmed that Boris Johnson will make an attempt to overthrow Matt Smith and become Doctor Who. If successful, Boris will...

Perks 09.09.12 11:23pm
Paralympians to be classified by morality of disability

Paralympic athletes are to be assessed according to how culpable they are for their disabilities. Though the competition already possesses a classification system, it only categorizes the type...

pitflaps 09.09.12 10:04pm
Very Little Else
A Modest Proposal: Castration at Birth

In 1729, Jonathan Swift penned a satirical essay entitled "A Modest Proposal," which advocated that poor people decrease their burden on society by selling their children to the rich, to be "stewed,...

sylkron 09.09.12 10:00pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Renowned Philosophical Intellectual Sage Admits She's Never Voted In Her Life

Leading philosopher and intellectual, Lesley C. Champion stated yesterday in a hastily adjourned meeting at the UN in New York City, that although she's a flag carrying torch bearer for, amongst...

Martin Shuttlecock 09.09.12 9:15pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Richard III car park dig finds early Plantagenet wheel clamp. More soon. 7
deskpilot3 09.09.12 8:59pm
Cameron offers Clegg the use of his cabin at Yosemite. 2
deskpilot3 09.09.12 8:57pm
Extra in Paralympic closing ceremony admits to being a bit 'too enthusiastic' 0
simonjmr 09.09.12 8:17pm
Paralympics ends with huge party where everyone gets legless

Is that the time? I'll get my coat...

JohnA 09.09.12 6:15pm
Dementia symptoms cast cruelly ironic shadow over Wombles’ song re-release plan

“Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember you’re a….sorry. Can we go again? Not quite sure what happened there! Dried completely! My fault”...

nickb 09.09.12 4:48pm
Orchestral concert ruined by chants of "you're not singing any more"

More to follow...

apepper 09.09.12 4:25pm
Mixed news on economy; big business down 3%, cat business up 2%

Economists are considering their response to the latest statistics for business. A treasury spokesman explained; "Obviously we'd like more from big business as that improves tax receipts, but with...

apepper 09.09.12 4:21pm