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School dinner lady accused of ‘grooming biscuit for sex’ 2
therustler 3 years

A school dinner lady in the West Midlands has been suspended from work after accusations that she was grooming a biscuit for sex. Phillis Havery, a catering supervisor at Hargate Heath Primary...

If Liu had only been in Iraq we`d have bribed or killed him 0
arrghgarry 3 years

Obama said in a statement that Liu "has sacrificed his freedom for his beliefs" and is "an eloquent and courageous spokesman for the advance of universal values through peaceful and nonviolent...

Pond life in England relieved to hear that Victoria Beckham staying in the US 0
Basil_B 3 years

Victoria Beckham annoyed her former pond life inhabitants in England today by saying that she was going to stay in the USA because she felt that England's ponds were too small for her now that she...

Chilean miners strike may delay rescue 1
ianslat 3 years

Hopes that the 33 trapped Chilean miners could be rescued earlier than expected were dealt a blow today as it was revealed that many of them have gone on strike, hampering the rescue attempt. The...

Recriminations as Chile miner rescue shaft unexpectedly emerges near Sydney 2
rickwestwell 3 years
‘We’re all in this together’ agrees disabled man 0
Gerontius 3 years

A disabled man who has spent the past 15 years struggling gamely to get by on incapacity benefit has welcomed the news from David Cameron that ‘we are all in this together’ by shoving fellow Tory...

Britain's most subservient man agrees we're all in this together 0
roybland 3 years

'i agree with everything Mr Cameron and Mr Osborne say,' says Tony Lowe (55), Britain's most subservient man. 'We're all in this together and our country needs us and we've all got to make cuts.',...

The Labour Parties 'Booby' Prize 4
Kazytc 3 years

After 14 years of Britain being ruled by the Labour party, until recent elections voted in, David Cameron's, Conservative Party, it would appear that the Labour Party, have awarded themselves...

imon Cowell aiming for another hit record... 8
be reasonable 3 years

thi Chritma . More oon...

Police marksman wins cuddly toy 12
ramblesnake 3 years

After hours of deliberation a jury of five men, six women and a sick note finally announced the winner of the kill barrister Mark Saunders competition. Firearms officer PC Jack Cade, originally from...

UK lottery winner Lakshmi Mittal thrilled to win £113 million jackpot. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

He said he wasn't sure what he'd do with the money, probably put it in the bank with the other £18 billion...

King of Rock and Roll deposed in military coup. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Countryside devastated by toxic red sludge after leak at Jammie Dodger factory. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Miners’ rescue jeopardized after woman breaks drill whilst proving point. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
School kids refuse to release Depp until ransom demands are met 0
Nobby Holder 3 years

Who's a pretty boy...

I really love mysupermarket.com, reveals Lord Sainsbury 0
Zadok the second 3 years
Shadow cabinet mix-up explained ... 0
Redundantpublicservant 3 years

Keen guitarist and slightly hard of hearing Alan Johnson thought Ed had asked if he was good with his thumbs...

Spending review likely to prompt reduction in number of countries in UK 10
Redundantpublicservant 3 years

Coalition plans to reduce the size of the UK state by a quarter seem set to lead to one of England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales having to go. To avoid additional costs the likeliest choice...

Alan Johnson is shadow of his former self. More soon. 0
red 3 years
Sweatshop-using clothes chain outrages public by changing its logo 0
Andrew 3 years

The well-known high-street store Gap, recently found to be selling clothes made in Indian sweatshops, has sparked controversy this week by changing its logo from a large blue square with the word...

Fire at Buddhist temple believed to have been started by a group of zenophobes. 5
wallster 3 years

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Danube status updated from Blue to Red. More soon. 3
malgor 3 years
Is it just me that noticed Wires won the cup twice on the trot too? 2
Mr.3374 3 years

Wasn't funny on "Chat" either...

KFC joins OPEC 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Cowell to sue red top for always wearing his jeans too high jibe 0
Basil_B 3 years

Matter being referred to the trouser press commission...

Walkers to invert crisp bags 1
Sinnick 3 years

Following the recent announcement to make crisp bags out of potato instead of plastic, it is understood that Walkers have also decided to make their crisps out of plastic instead of potato. A Walker...

"Hungry sludge" not my nickname claims MIchael Winner 0
simonjmr 3 years
Le Pétomane favourite to win The Wind Factor. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Or possibly Mr Methane...

Man accidentally launches nuclear strike on Iran after online bank detail error 0
Basil_B 3 years

David Goose of Oswestry, Shropshire has the blood of 20 million Iranian's on his careless fingers today after inadvertently launching a nuclear strike on the middle eastern nation when tapping in his...

Police Enquiry service may be extended to help corporate clients get off 2
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The success of the Police Enquiry service, which leads the world in Police Death Blame Absolvement Solutions, has led for calls for it to be franchised and sold to corporate clients. "Say what you...