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Smashy and Nicey to star in remake of Porridge

70s DJs, Smashy and Nicey are to star in a remake of the prison sitcom porridge. The writers promise a "slightly darker" feel to the series...

apepper 15.01.14 2:27pm
'Coal' Discovered in South Yorkshire

Prime Minister David Cameron announced earlier today the discovery of 'coal' by a team of geologists in the South Yorkshre area. Coal, or 'black gold' as it has been known to be called, a scarce...

John Roughty 15.01.14 2:26pm
Son of Barnabas
Dry-athlon fundraiser collapses with Schloerosis of the liver

Professional athlete Wayne Burgess, 27, was today recovering in hospital after collapsing with a rare case of schloerosis, brought on by overdosing on alcohol-free drinks. Burgess had mistakenly...

Son of Barnabas 15.01.14 2:19pm
Son of Barnabas
Tebbit 'only has himself to blame for being a twat' say fat people

Lord Norman Tebbit has only got himself to blame for being one of the most obnoxious men in the UK, say fat people. 'He's a complete twat,' said Sandra Moore (18 stone). 'The guy didn't have to be a...

roybland 15.01.14 2:00pm
Lord Rennard outfoxes sex allegation enquiry. 0
MADJEZ 15.01.14 1:56pm
French birds absolutely gagging for it, insists Francois Hollande

You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois Hollande insisted today. Hollande, who has been nicknamed “Shagger” by fellow EU leaders, claims that Anglo Saxon women...

Gary Stanton 15.01.14 1:46pm
Gary Stanton
Slut Alors!

Plus rapidement...

Kevin the Swan 15.01.14 1:26pm
Son of Barnabas
Banks turn to payday loans to fund bonuses

As austerity measures continue to pinch, the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) is concerned that shareholders may not approve a penurious 200% bonus for their frugal staff. Forced to choose between the...

Wrenfoe 15.01.14 11:59am
Jury demands right to try Ken Barlow

The jury at the centre of the William Roache trial has reacted angrily to the direction of the trial Judge that they have to decide on the guilt or innocence of Mr. Roache rather than his fictional...

jamsieoconnor 15.01.14 11:55am
Two little boys ‘ready to testify’ in Rolf Harris trial... 2
Tripod 15.01.14 9:55am
National Archive publishes saucy WW1 trench diaries - ‘Fifty spades of clay’

(More later)...

Wrenfoe 15.01.14 9:47am
Vulcanised Rubber
Rolf Harris bid to become courtroom artist for trial turned down 6
nickb 15.01.14 8:36am
"In Egypt, Supporters Of The Band 'Muslim Brotherhood' Have Been Demonstrating"

said the BBC in a news broadcast this morning [TrueBuscuit]. I hadn't realised that the Egyptians took their pop music so seriously. Wonder how good they are?...

Titus 15.01.14 8:33am
Police bust Bieber’s crack just in time 0
irreverendJ 14.01.14 10:41pm
Article on using facebook less goes viral on facebook 1
Dumbnews 14.01.14 10:30pm
Children with no internet struggle to do homework. The rest just don't bother.

[url=]Internet gap hits poor children.[/url] Too busy surfing the net !, More soon...

MADJEZ 14.01.14 8:16pm
Hope fades for Schrödinger's mouse

More to follow...

apepper 14.01.14 6:47pm
German Chancellor now 'Merkel the Twerkel' after receiving Elvis' old pelvis

More to follow...

Vulcanised Rubber 14.01.14 5:58pm
Vulcanised Rubber
BBFC issue new language guidelines for shit films

New guidelines for bad movies will break film releases into three categories: Good, (G) Bollocks (B) and utter shite (Pirates of the Caribbean 2). The BBFC’s Adam Schmidt said: “In a survey...

nickb 14.01.14 5:45pm
Mapper who renamed a German square after Adolf Hitler "was only obeying orders"

No really.

AReader 14.01.14 4:27pm
Artist with drawer's block draws a blank. Wins Turner prize. 0
Not Amused 14.01.14 4:21pm
Not Amused
Millions of inner children hold their breath as Rolf Harris pleads not guilty 0
AReader 14.01.14 3:37pm
10 Reasons Why You Should Definitely Click On This Article

Pictures of cats and 90's nostalgia soon to come...

David K 14.01.14 2:52pm
MP's portraits so expensive because artist needs to capture two faces

Officials at the House of Commons have been defending the quarter-million pound spent in MP's portraits over the last twenty years claiming 'the cost is good value for money seeing as the most of the...

James Pluside 14.01.14 1:31pm
Plague of locums causes Moses to reach for his tablets

In a shock revelation that would have even Moses reaching for his tablets, A&E departments across the UK have been overwhelmed with a plague of locums of truly biblical proportions. Used to...

irreverendJ 14.01.14 12:28pm
Outrage as Sherlock shoots Sven Goran Eriksson in season finale cliffhanger 1
custard cream 14.01.14 11:04am
Son of Barnabas
A&E units hit by plague of locums 3
Backup Brian 14.01.14 10:46am
Psycadelic Squirrel
The Sniffles Remains Endemic in UK

The World Health Organisation continued to mark the United Kingdom as red status for cases of The Sniffles, despite best efforts of pharmacists and alternative medicine., The condition, also known...

james_doc 14.01.14 10:17am
Doctors find smoking gun, and warn it to cut down. 0
Ian Searle 14.01.14 9:57am
Ian Searle
Sudden frost turns Britain into Europe's largest outdoor skating rink 0
Ian Searle 14.01.14 9:55am
Ian Searle