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MP calls for ban on "potentially lethal" Lava cocktails

The MP for Bristol South, Philip Cheesewring, has called for an immediate ban on the sale of cocktails containing lava after a recent incident where one of his constituents had nearly half a pound of...

0
bonjonelson 13.10.12 10:59am
bonjonelson
Assange turns himself in as Savile seeks asylum in embassy

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange voluntarily handed himself over to the police this morning after 122 days spent in the Ecudorean embassy. The surprise move followed fast-moving events over the last...

3
pinxit 13.10.12 10:40am
pinxit
Protestors at Milan Fashion Show clash with police over plans for third runway 1
bonjonelson 13.10.12 10:02am
Golgo13
Heraklion rainforest experience slated 3
FlashArry 13.10.12 8:13am
charlies_hat
People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces

Middle-class foodies who insist on sharing via social media every carefully concocted plate of smugness they’ve ever cooked and eaten must now add a picture of the ‘evacuation’ that follows....

20
DustyBinLaden 13.10.12 7:42am
DustyBinLaden
Welcome to the Mall

American hard rock combo Guns ‘n Roses have been forced to re-record a track off their 1987 chart topping album ‘Appetite for Destruction’ after an area of land featured on one of the tracks...

0
Gerontius 13.10.12 6:49am
Gerontius
Northampton: Kiddie Fiddler Capital of Britain

I was dismayed to learn that Northampton, a town previously famous only for shoemaking and homosexual chat show hosts, has now, apparently, become a haven for child molesters., I recently purchased...

1
arthurminnit 13.10.12 6:46am
The Secret Cabal
The man from Santander, he says "no" 0
ginty 13.10.12 6:04am
ginty
Single Fathers call for OFSTED MILF Rating

Single fathers attempting to choose their children’s upper school have called for an official OFSTED MILF rating for all schools. Brian Smith, a single parent of two, has spoken of the time he...

25
Quaz 12.10.12 11:58pm
The All New Jeni B
Led Zeppelin pledge to never come back for one last time

The surviving members of legendary rock group Led Zeppelin have pledged to never come back for one last time, unsupported by the surviving musician of the Beatles. News of the Never-come-back gig...

2
Nunnion Splendacular 12.10.12 9:48pm
Nunnion Splendacular
Ken Dodd in hiding after Diddymen report tickling stick abuse .....

more soon ...

0
misterjingles 12.10.12 9:38pm
misterjingles
Ancient Calcified Forest Found To Be Modern Fake. 4
The All New Jeni B 12.10.12 9:37pm
The All New Jeni B
Tarmac Ltd set up Zanzibar base for new deforestation/road-building project

They just have to think of a name...

2
Idiot 12.10.12 9:34pm
malgor
Tarzan furious after Jane has her Asphalt 0
charlies_hat 12.10.12 9:03pm
charlies_hat
Undertakers to rebadge funerals as 'legacy events' 0
Mandy Lifeboat 12.10.12 8:55pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Glaswegian sandwich maker wins Nobel Piece Prize. More soon...

Best thing since sliced oh, never mind...

2
NewCriminal 12.10.12 8:54pm
Dick Everyman
Katie Price wins Nobel prize for literature. 0
sigmund 12.10.12 8:52pm
sigmund
Storm takes soggy biscuit

satire rules flouted by truebiscuit with silly name http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-19930269...

4
Squudge 12.10.12 8:43pm
Squudge
Faster rainforest clear cutting paves the way for increase in Aggregate profits 1
charlies_hat 12.10.12 6:20pm
button
Jimmy Savile Downgraded.....

.To Jimmy Crow...

9
Jesse Bigg 12.10.12 6:19pm
button
Taxis recalled because they won’t go south of the river... 0
Tripod 12.10.12 4:57pm
Tripod
Man who ripped out walls to find irritating noise finds it was wife's voice 0
Idiot 12.10.12 4:44pm
Idiot
Cameron planning “the war memorial to end all war memorials”... 4
Tripod 12.10.12 4:39pm
Tripod
Louis Armstrong stripped of hit records

Legendary jazz musician has been stripped of all hit records having recently been revealed as part of the most professional doping jazz group in history., Despite never having tested positive for...

0
knownothingbozo 12.10.12 4:38pm
knownothingbozo
Rat screams and dies after finding itself in Chantelle Houghton's kitchen 0
ginty 12.10.12 4:18pm
ginty
Mars Rover finds top of ancient pyramid. "No comment" states Egyptian PM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19923118...

1
12.10.12 4:10pm
Squudge
New RSPB signature tune described as a "Corncrake jingle"

Are crap puns allowed in Neat-o rules?...

2
beau-jolly 12.10.12 3:57pm
Squudge
Urban sales of Cement flavour Um-bongo soar.

The Congolese government have ruled out any possibility of the commercial being filmed in their country, after all the reputational damage done to them by this drink in the 1980s, so all eyes are now...

0
Newsquelch 12.10.12 3:56pm
Newsquelch
Cap'n Birdseye stripped of Nobel peas prize as allegations continue to spiral 1
cinquecento 12.10.12 3:53pm
wallster
Clown bricklayer pulls off concrete juggle stunt 0
Scroat 12.10.12 3:34pm
Scroat