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Border patrol put on red alert as east coast mainline reopens. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 30.06.12 12:21pm
dominic_mcg
Thatcher "unlikely to be called" in Banking Enquiry. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 30.06.12 10:37am
Al OPecia
Murray asks for voodoo doll refund as Federer scrapes through. 1
JETFAB 30.06.12 10:36am
rustytruss
Islamist Egyptian President sworn in

"What the fuck have we done" say Egyptians...

0
rustytruss 30.06.12 10:29am
rustytruss
June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame

June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame...

11
simonhansen 30.06.12 9:57am
button
Olympic training success in Nottingham as Brits catch up with Ethiopian runner 0
button 30.06.12 9:13am
button
Old Spice Girls to perform 'Carmina Burana' 11
V Riddoch 30.06.12 6:54am
V Riddoch
Satan appointed head of new regulator to clean up banking.

More later...

0
Ian 30.06.12 6:45am
Ian
McGuinness accepts his playful 'going for gun' gesture showed poor judgment 8
cinquecento 29.06.12 11:03pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Nat West systems working again after emergency hamster replacement... 0
deskpilot3 29.06.12 10:15pm
deskpilot3
Murdoch blames entire world for him not being rich enough

Rupert Murdoch has bitterly attacked the world for him not being rich. "If they had the tiniest intelligence, they'd see I deserve plenty more money. For Chrissake, Larry Ellison just bought an...

0
apepper 29.06.12 10:04pm
apepper
Franz Ferdinand Final Gig in Sarajevo

Scottish band Franz Ferdinand have announced they will bow out with a final concert in Sarajevo. Speaking from the Latin Bridge in the former Serbian city, lead vocalist Alex Kapranos, confirmed the...

0
custard cream 29.06.12 9:13pm
custard cream
Worker ants decline as more young ants move into service industries 2
bonjonelson 29.06.12 8:56pm
Sinnick
Barclays makes £1bn in 2 days after short-selling Barclays shares 0
grumblechops 29.06.12 8:54pm
grumblechops
Chinese astronauts return to Earth to find a planet where intelligent talking ap

Chinese astronauts return to Earth to find a planet where intelligent talking apes are the dominant species, and humans are oppressed and enslaved. China's first female astronaut, 33-year-old Liu...

0
simonhansen 29.06.12 8:29pm
simonhansen
Traffic police tipped off to odd driver with both hands on steering wheel 0
Dumbnews 29.06.12 8:23pm
Dumbnews
Neil Diamond 'hurt and bewildered' by sudden hate campaign

Legendary American singer-songwriter Neil Diamond is 'at a loss' to understand why he is suddenly at the centre of an intense and targeted hate campaign, he told journalists at a Las Vegas press...

5
V Riddoch 29.06.12 7:27pm
nickb
Argentine church scandal: Vatican accuses press of bishop bashing. 0
weematt 29.06.12 7:22pm
weematt
Murderer captured, Katy Holmes escapes

In a strange twist escaped murderer, John Massey, has been recaptured. Meanwhile the escape of Katie Holmes has been announced...

0
apepper 29.06.12 7:10pm
apepper
Unsuccessful Olympic fencing hopeful blames 'sword's law' 0
Haywood Manley 29.06.12 7:10pm
Haywood Manley
GoldenBoy fixes the Euro Crisis

With Spain going cap in hand to the European Central Bank and 15 major European banks having their credit downgraded, many of my followers are asking me what happens next and what we can do to fix...

0
GoldenBoy 29.06.12 6:45pm
GoldenBoy
Chinese astronauts return to Earth where talking apes are the dominant species,

Chinese astronauts return to Earth where talking apes are the dominant species, and humans are oppressed and enslaved...

0
simonhansen 29.06.12 6:34pm
simonhansen
Austerity finally hits as Prince Charles only gets 11% rise to £2 million a year

I have nothing else to say...

0
JohnA 29.06.12 5:26pm
JohnA
Barclays boss to forego key to the executive washroom.

For a week, until the fuss blows over...

0
Boutros 29.06.12 4:41pm
Boutros
Banks say £200bn could solve integrity issues 0
rustytruss 29.06.12 4:41pm
rustytruss
Olympic Champions to be charged for medals

Lord Coe today revealed that recipients of medals at this summer’s Olympics would be asked to pay “a nominal fee” of around £500 if they wished to retain their award after the Games. The...

0
grumblechops 29.06.12 4:38pm
grumblechops
Tory Tourist Board Guide to…’Staycations’

With the parliamentary summer break almost upon us, it is time for MPs to get their secretaries to book a holiday for their families (in order for it to be classed as a ‘business expense’). The...

2
kimllfixit 29.06.12 4:25pm
kimllfixit
Weather presenters to be allowed to swear

In what has been hailed as an important step towards more accurate forecasting BBC weather presenters will from next week be able to use swear words during their broadcasts. BBC South East's Tomasz...

0
Haywood Manley 29.06.12 4:06pm
Haywood Manley
The Sad Decline of Britain’s Hole Punch Manufacturers

Few would doubt the size of the impact that the IT revolution has had on our lives. Online shopping is now the norm, social networking sites have helped to remove dictators and many have made their...

0
TheNewsWalrus 29.06.12 3:26pm
TheNewsWalrus
Peston - "I knew all along but...........said.........nothing". 0
Drylaw 29.06.12 2:55pm
Drylaw