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Derbyshire man has 'Britain's most pointless job title'

A Derbyshire man was celebrating last night after winning this year’s award for Britain’s most pointless job title. Derek Hill, 48, won the flagship prize for his role of ‘Principal Technical...

2
TheNewsWalrus 29.05.12 9:45pm
Al OPecia
Discovery of Jesus’s personal file reveals bereavement leave scam

In a stunning development, archaeologists have found Jesus’s personal file from his job as an evangelical carpentry tutor with the Jerusalem Nailers. Initial indications are that Jesus’s “Mr...

5
Yikes 29.05.12 8:22pm
Yikes
Beach Boys reunion scuppered by Coastguard's red flag warning. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.05.12 8:13pm
dominic_mcg
Plumber criticised for refusing part in adult movie

A plumber from York has been widely criticised by the adult film industry as well as men up and down the country by refusing to take part in a porn film. Unlike him, the incident came after a call...

2
Perks 29.05.12 7:10pm
Perks
Fears Prince Charles may disrupt Jubilee floatila by swimming into the Thames. 0
Ian Searle 29.05.12 6:32pm
Ian Searle
Juan Kerr, the Spanish Master Baker is fed up of people laughing at his name. 0
Ian Searle 29.05.12 6:31pm
Ian Searle
Radioactive fish get glowing school report 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 29.05.12 6:14pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
"Coal house would have been luxury" says Harry Potter 0
Scroat 29.05.12 5:32pm
Scroat
Stray dog chased 1700km by Chinese restaurateurs 6
medici2471 29.05.12 5:01pm
Sinnick
Andy Murray fails in bid for French Open 0
nostra da mouse 29.05.12 3:39pm
nostra da mouse
Obama Defeats Romney in Hollywood Version of 2012 Presidential Election

LOS ANGELES – In a classic Hollywood ending that left audiences cheering and wiping tears from their eyes, President Obama triumphed over his Republican rival Mitt Romney in the 2012 U.S....

0
29.05.12 3:37pm
Anti GM crop protesters mistakenly picket Vauxhall dealership 5
Scronnyglonkle 29.05.12 3:16pm
Scronnyglonkle
‘Make our day Muzzos,’ says Olympic Security Chief.

Olympic Security Chief Sir Peter Anderson admitted today he’s dying to blow some ‘Johnny Muzzo chaps’ to kingdom come during the Games. Confident security at the Games was ‘tighter than a...

0
daneade 29.05.12 2:28pm
daneade
UK deports tourist for not stating Olympics as purpose of visit 1
Dumbnews 29.05.12 2:26pm
daneade
Jessica Ennis’s boyfriend slips into something cool on return home 0
medici2471 29.05.12 2:17pm
medici2471
Phil Jagielka 'expects highly' of England due to low expectations of England

England fans should be expecting great things from their team at Euro 2012, according to centre-back Phil Jagielka, as a result of their lack of belief in the England team. 'In the past, great...

1
LPWright 29.05.12 2:09pm
dvo4fun
Japanese fishing methods declared: "Unfit for Porpoise" 0
Drylaw 29.05.12 2:05pm
Drylaw
Theresa May tackles police budget crisis with new ‘Robo-PCSO’

In a direct response to her critics, Theresa May has unveiled a new weapon in the fight against minor offences. Using a left-over community support officer and two motors from a mobility scooter,...

14
29.05.12 1:56pm
dvo4fun
Intruder 'excitement' brings Leveson Inquiry cameraman out of coma

A cameraman at the Leveson Inquiry , Paul Wells, has awoken from a coma that lasted over 6 months after the intrusion of a protester gave the inquiry it‘s first piece of ‘real’ excitement since...

5
Perks 29.05.12 12:37pm
Perks
Aldolf HItler 'plays down' Racism claims ahead of 1936 Berlin Olympics

German leader, Aldolf Hitler has struck back at Jessie Owens' recent appeals for people to stay away from the upcoming games, despite concerns that many foreigners may face racism during the event....

7
LPWright 29.05.12 11:54am
medici2471
Gordon Brown celebrates his five minutes of fame at the Leveson

By shouting "war criminal" at Tony Blair More soon...

0
simonjmr 29.05.12 11:16am
simonjmr
[x] This site uses cookies. If you don't like it, fuck right off. 5
bonjonelson 29.05.12 10:54am
Qoxiivi
Beat new VAT rules..get it while it's hot !

Greggs have created a new App. for mobile phones which gives a timetable of baking schedules. It works a bit like trainline. You select Town you are in or visiting, the time and how hot you would...

0
Otis B Driftwood 29.05.12 10:03am
Otis B Driftwood
Ghettoblaster in Catholic Church identified as "Weapon of Mass Disruption" 0
seymour totti 29.05.12 9:14am
seymour totti
Windsor woman who has worked for sixty years forced to work longer

An 84-year-old Windsor woman who has worked for sixty years may have to continue working into her nineties because her son is an absolutely useless twat, according to Age UK. 'Her son should be...

5
roybland 29.05.12 9:03am
Al OPecia
Success of Yakult blamed on drinking culture. 7
The Last Detail 29.05.12 8:56am
dvo4fun
Fred West delighted at BAFTA 'I'll find somewhere on the patio for it' 1
MADJEZ 29.05.12 8:53am
dvo4fun
Top Indian Chef To Design New Line Of Pepper Sprays

For some time, critics have slated the British police force's pepper spray, Charles Campion describing it as "unimaginative and brusque, sacrificing tone and texture for sheer volume of heat. With a...

3
Textbook 29.05.12 8:52am
dvo4fun
It would be cruel and barabaric to send Abu Qatada to Jordan, says Peter Andre

If Abu Qatada was sent to Jordan, he could face inhumane treatment that no man should ever be subjected to, Peter Andre has claimed. "I don't like what Qatada has done, but nothing justifies...

2
ronseal 29.05.12 8:08am
ronseal
Man announces intention of boycotting Diamond Jubilee celebrations

A sixty-nine-year-old Dewsbury man has said he will not take part in the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations. Fred Ashcroft has ignored every royal celebration since the Queen's coronation in 1953...

1
roybland 29.05.12 7:39am
Yikes