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Glastonbury mud to be 'replaced by carpet'. 0
Leeboy007 3 years

Glastonbury festival organiser Michael Eavis has stunned the music world by announcing that he will be carpeting over his fields to eradicate the mud problem this year. "Every year people moan and...

Dave Lee Travis supports Burmese freedom fighter 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

I don't usually see the point of posting things from the internet on here - but this struck me as beyond the realms of the surreal:...

Rory McIlroy to compete for Britain in all Olympic events 2
John Wiltshire 3 years

Britain's winning golfer Rory McIlroy has been entered for every event in the 2012 Olympics, on the basis that he has actually won a sporting event, which is more than anyone else has done. Rory,...

New chain of care homes opened by Sharon Shoesmith of Indignitas 6
John Wiltshire 3 years

Dignitas is to open a new chain of care homes for the elderly under the brand name Indignitas., 'This is to reflect reality,' said the chairman of Indignitas Sharon Shoesmith. 'I have been chosen to...

New official answer for the joke 'how much is a grecian urn' is now 'fuck all'. 1
Basil_B 3 years
New holiday insurance rules make it illeagal take long weekend without a policy 1
Ian Searle 3 years

Tough new laws have come into force today designed to crack down on people taking holiday without insurance. The new legislation rules that anyone on an uninsured break must either declare their...

Peter Andre To Join Board Of FIFA 0
Leeboy007 3 years

It was announced today that pop star and reality television personality Peter Andre would be joining the football world governing body FIFA. In a somewhat radical, and some would say bizarre, move...

Juan Sheet does Katie Price 2
Oxbridge 3 years
View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (6/17 edition) 8
SugarTits69 3 years

A few days ago, I wrote about the damage done by the fake lesbian bloggers who turned out to be men, leading many to mistrust on-line lesbians. The spotlight of suspicion even fell on me, as cynics...

Brave Brit Murray beats bag of potatoes in 4 sets 0
3 years
Fears that 'C'mon, Andy!' may not ensure Murray win 0
roybland 3 years
Ford to invest heavily in new eco-friendly "Flinstones" propulsion 0
Dumbnews 3 years
School leaving age to rise to 66 1
Dick Everyman 3 years

New government plans have been uncovered indicating that the official school leaving age is to increase from 16 to 66. In documents leaked by a ‘reliable government source’ to The Sun the...

Local monkey who does tech support applys for better job at the Zoo 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Uproar as SugarTits69 is revealed to be a man called 'Fergie'. 22
Mr Payne 3 years

Check the 'Top Ten' accreditation. I feel cheated. And used. And a little bit foolish. I really believed...

England netball fans worried about excessive focus on 'HABs' 2
Oxbridge 3 years

As England's 16-woman netball squad gets ready for the World Cup in Singapore in July, the nation should be asking if England's pacy attack can counter the height advantage of Jamaica and Malawi to...

'Ugly People' website over-run ... 3
be reasonable 3 years

by applications from shallow, narcissistic air-heads. More soon...

YouTube says users running out of never done before things to film 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Syrian President Asda denies government by product placement 1
simonjmr 3 years
Mladic resigns. Hague says he's 'No longer under investigation. He's innocent' 0
Mr Payne 3 years
Andy Murray May Win Wimbledon. But Then Again May Not 0
Leeboy007 3 years

quick ticker bar entry...

Race for Life to change name in 2012 after description complaint 5
Mrblacker 3 years

Cancer Research UK has confirmed it's familiar Race for Life has been forced into a name change for next year, after a court upheld a Trading Standards complaint. Mold Masgistrates court in North...

Cheryl Cole 'is not to blame for rising petrol costs' 1
Leeboy007 3 years

The rising cost of petrol is 'not Cheryl Cole's fault', according to her agent. There has been UK-wide outrage at spiralling fuel costs for the past 12 months or so, and the finger has been squarely...

New Pension age to be raised to Fortyfive for the 0
doggone 3 years
One of the Stones sentenced to dogging 0
doggone 3 years
Twitter to launch New Site 'Twatter' 2
Leeboy007 3 years

popular social networking site ' Twitter' is to launch a new version purely for banal, pointless, rambling witterings. Called ' Twatter', it will automatically weed out any Tweet ( or 'Twat' as it...

Tickets go on sale for ‘Al-Qaeda – the finalists’ tour 9
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Fans of Al-Qaeda who have followed the leadership contest over the last couple of months will now have the chance to see all of their favourites in the flesh thanks to the announcement of a new...

Barnsley man in family holiday challenge 0
roybland 3 years

Father of four Graham Carter from Barnsley says he finds the challenge of his family annual summer holiday increasingly difficult. 'It seems to get harder every year,' Mr Carter (31) said. 'It...

Andrew Marr endorses 'HD Ready' cosmetics 3
3 years

High definition broadcasts, coupled with the widespread adoption of large-screen TVs, are drawing unwanted attention to presenters' blemishes, the BBC has revealed. The corporation is investing...

Soaring fuel costs prompt banknote re-design 4
The Return of DroleNoel 3 years

In a widely anticipated move, the Bank of England today announced the details for a new banknote. The new note, which is expected to become the most popular in general use, is the £20.01 note. This...