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Campaign begins for Scottish prisoners' human right to sun beds. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Pope accepts ‘Thought for the Day’ invitation but declines ‘Hole in the Wall’ 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Scientists claim 'nothing new' about 'cheap knock-off' 2011 0
dogwheels 3 years

As the world gets ready to welcome another new year, a group of scientists have claimed that, contrary to popular belief, there will be nothing new about the year 2011 and that it is in fact a...

Al Qaeda Brit double agents to ruin Xmas with overthetop fussing and worrying 0
ronseal 3 years

A crack team of Xmas ruiners has been recruited by Al Qaeda, to work on the inside and destroy the spirit of the festive season. A series of cells has been created out of the volunteer turncoats,...

Drive carefully, folks, it’s icy out there... 2
Doylem 3 years

With millions of people setting out today, to spend Christmas with uncherished relatives, Pete Brown of the AA offers a few, mildly patronising, words of advice. “Drive on the road. Don’t drive...

Waitrose to introduce Chill-Out Checkouts for the more sedate shopper 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Posho Supermarket, Waitrose, have decided to buck the trend for speedier customer service and checkout and introduce new Chill-Out Checkouts at their stores. The new checkouts are intended for use...

William has already sorted excuse to avoid Xmas Day with the in-laws 0
MC One R 3 years

Before even getting married, Prince William is already trying to avoid laborious awkward Christmas Day family gatherings with the Middletons using the excuse "Sorry, it's my shift for Search &...

Stock journalist words look forward to Christmas break 0
MC One R 3 years

Overused words "Chaos", "Cold-snap", "Untrustworthy" and "LibDem" have announced they are looking forward to a quiet Christmas break after a hectic couple of weeks, by spending the festive period at...

Cold weather to last until "The day after tomorrow" 0
virtuallywill 3 years
Disappointment at Heathrow Xmas panto as Peter Pan unable to land. 3
MC One R 3 years
Kim Jong-Il says his red button "will only turn on Xmas lights" in Seoul 0
MC One R 3 years
Gary Glitter to star in remake of Casablanca - 'Here's looking at your kid'. 3
wallster 3 years
Santa regrets buying Tom Tom as sleigh written off in car wash. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Royal Mint security staff toast "lookunalike" coin 0
GrahamB 3 years

Jubilant staff at the Royal Mint toasted their success today following market research that showed that the portraits of Prince William and Kate Middleton on the new commemorative engagement coin...

US military devolops weaponry controllable by iPhone 0
Dumbnews 3 years
New York's "Punch Me Panda", not as popular as Wales' "F**k Me Sheep" 0
Ian Searle 3 years
James May given brain scan but none found. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

May was filming the Top Gear Christmas special, where the three presenters try to recreate the famous journey from the Christmas film "Snow White and the Three Stooges". He was helping fellow...

Whistleblower arrested for noise pollution 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Al Qaeda up in arms as schedule of transport carnage is snowed off 5
ronseal 3 years

Angry Al Qaeda bosses slammed Britain's bungling bus bosses after public transport cancellations ruined forced them to cancel a Christmas spectacular., One furious fundamentalist complained, 'Once...

Object Coming From East Across Night Sky Was a Plane Arriving says Heathrow Boss 4
IABP 3 years

The 'Miracle of Heathrow' may have been just a plane arriving at Heathrow and not some magical astronominical event. Many observers spotted the object coming from the East and appear to rest next to...

Nick Clegg and Simon Hughes hit by-election campaign trail. 0
DiY 3 years

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg and deputy leader Simon Hughes have spent the day campaigning in East Grinstead., When reporters pointed out that the by-election was actually going to be held in...

Guardian angels 'protect third of Britons'. 0
DiY 3 years

Nearly one in three Britons believe they have a guardian angel watching over them, according to a survey conducted by the Society of Studies., Denise Brown, 18, of Romford says her 'Gabriel' is...

Role of television "complete" 1
MC One R 3 years

Following revelations that The X Factor final was the most watched show of 2010, the government has confirmed that the task of television to ensure the population are kept under control as drooling...

Producers of The Apprentice admit fraud 1
MC One R 3 years

Producers of The Apprentice have admitted fraud in court, following the accusation that the phrase "sixteen of the country's brightest business prospects" is clearly incorrect. The judge has ruled...

Coalition hails "success" as 24 hours pass without a Vince Cable gaffe. 0
MC One R 3 years

But probably more soon...

Light plane crashes after snow brings down power lines 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
George Osborne more popular than Vicks Nasal Spray. 0
DiY 3 years

As recommended by the Deputy Leader of the House, David Heath. Mr Heath recently told reporters: "George Osborne has a capacity to get up one's nose, doesn't he?"...

Boredom grips thousands of gap year students after Skype outage 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
NHS Direct stress concerns after it phones itself 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Which? magazine recommends using comparison website for comparison websites 0
MC One R 3 years