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New Zealand dwarves deny throwing Tuilagi overboard in revenge attack 1
Midfield Diamond 3 years
PCSO arrested for impersonating a police officer 0
Perks 3 years
Company to sue New Zealand for "damaging oil" 0
apepper 3 years

The owner of the Cargo ship [i]Rena [/i]is to sue New Zealand for recompense for the damage caused to it's ship and fuel oil. "First of all, New Zealand has pointy rocks all around it which are an...

Bell-end to open Olympics 0
simonjmr 3 years

Peter Smallings generally acknowledged by his peers as an insufferable bellend has been picked to open the 2012 London Olympics. "Mr Smallings (43) is an insufferable oafish bore, who will recount...

Blackberry Jam 0
Sinnick 3 years

[not original, borrowed from a BBC subscriber]...

Paris road tunnel to finally adopt 'no photography' policy, 14 years too late 0
simonjmr 3 years

A spokesperson for the Pont de l'Alma road tunnel in Paris said it wanted to "maintain a safe and enjoyable environment" for road users. More soon...

Major Disruption 0
medici2471 3 years

Analysis of the public vote for last weekend's Strictly Come Dancing have shown that over two million calls were received from just one telephone number, spreading votes evenly between 13 of the 14...

England pay for French hooker's superior technique. 0
spoole2112 3 years

Endland's Rugby World Cup came to an abrupt...

Dr. Who : 'still more questions than answers' say boffins 3
Gerontius 3 years

Research scientists working on the recent Dr.Who series say they are no nearer being able to explain what was going on over the twelve episodes than when they first started., Despite months pouring...

Cameron's 'Bring a Friend to Cabinet Day' ruined. 1
spoole2112 3 years

The Prime Minister's plan to invite casual acquaintences of elected officials to join in the decision making process at the highest level was left in tatters today when no-one could be found who...

Liberation of final stronghold 'a dead Sirte' say NTC commanders 3
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Self-employed look forward to annual one hour holiday 2
beau-jolly 3 years

just me then?...

Come Dine With Me voiceover to I Have A Dream speech 'was a mistake' 0
Oxbridge 3 years

US Civil Rights leaders have admitted that in retrospect, they would not have invited comedy actor Dave Lamb to supply a series of camp and sarcastic put-downs during Dr Martin Luther King's recent...

Tuilagi admits he was ready for arrest. 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Palestine Demands Own Idol Franchise 1
Textbook 3 years
McCartney Marries Jake the Peg to "Annoy Heather Mills" 6
apepper 3 years

Former Beatle, Paul McCartney has had a same sex marriage with Jake the Peg (with his extra leg). This is widely seen as a deliberate snipe against former wife Heather Mills...

Apple advertise Jobs vacancy 0
button 3 years
'Cocksey Foxy' to use same legal team as 'Foxy Knoxy' 0
Ian Searle 3 years

He's sure to get off...

Manu Misunderstands Agent's Advice to Jump from a Sinking Ship 0
medici2471 3 years
Dr Fox's friendship gives pious lefties rare license for righteous homophobia 0
ronseal 3 years
Dr Fox latest. Now he faces sack by Capital Radio 2
ronseal 3 years
Nancy Shevell found dead by Paul. 0
RJWinter 3 years
"Manu has been disciplined internally..." 1
Gary Baldy 3 years

This direct quote from England Rugby manager Martin Johnson indicates the level of frustration within the camp...

Tuilagi: I Did It To Keep In With The Guys 0
Drylaw 3 years

The truth started to emerge today about the reasons for England Rugby Star Manu Tuilagi's extraordinary leap from a New Zealand ferry at the weekend. "I only did it to keep in with the guys. The...

Dexia Midnight Bankrupters latest hit 'Come on, I loan' (to anyone, even Greeks) 1
Griffin 3 years
Norma Major is Strictly's Biggest Fan, According to Phone Records 2
medici2471 3 years
Convention Centre Actually Quite Unusual 0
Textbook 3 years
Nancy Shevell - "heiress and socialite" revealed to.. 0
brd888 3 years

"not actually have done anything with her life". It was revealed yesterday that Nancy Shevell, just married to John Lennon's aging straight man, has been labelled an "Heiress and Socialite" by the...

Liam Fox's support downgraded from "unequivocal" to "total" by Cameron 0
steve_l 3 years

Shares in Liam Fox fell today as the rating agency, David Cameron, downgraded his confidence from "absolute and unequivocal support" to "total confidence" -two rating points down. This is the...

Now Ferguson accused of match fixing. 13
Boutros 3 years

Utd Manager Alex Ferguson is pleading not guilty to charges of match fixing, against mounting evidence that over the lengthy course of his career he has been deliberately picking teams of players he...