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Donner Card - Help Someone to Eat After You're Wrecked

A drive to increase the number of donner card holders starts this week sponsored by the Association of Kebab Shop Owners. Drunken revellers are being encouraged to sign up for the donner cards at...

0
LizzyG 13.02.12 3:58pm
LizzyG
New research links diabetes surge to greetings card industry merchandise

A study by the Medical Research Council has established a direct link between saccharine merchandise produced by the greetings card industry and the diabetes epidemic sweeping the developed world....

6
Qoxiivi 13.02.12 7:43pm
Qoxiivi
'Homeopathic royals cannot become King' shock

Royals who embrace homeopathy cannot become King constitutional lawyers have discovered in a shock finding. 'It has long been believed that only Catholics couldn't become King,' royal historian...

0
roybland 13.02.12 3:42pm
roybland
Financial news - Shares in jelly manufacturer wobble as profits warning issued.

.more soon...

0
DiY 13.02.12 3:16pm
DiY
Abu Hamza wins Contact Lens Wearer Of The Year award 0
cinquecento 13.02.12 2:58pm
cinquecento
Retired prozzie turned milk distributor tells all in Secret Dairy of a Call Girl

A prostitute who was struggling to make ends meet takes a part time job distributing milk. At first, she tells herself it's for one round only, but soon she's addicted to the lifestyle. The early...

1
ronseal 13.02.12 2:46pm
SugarTits69
Police to arrest themselves over payments to informers 2
ronseal 13.02.12 9:33pm
nickb
All eyes on Hutus and Tutsi handshake before next outbreak of war 0
ronseal 13.02.12 2:05pm
ronseal
Blatter admits handshaking might not be the best way to resolve racial tensions 0
ianslat 13.02.12 1:59pm
ianslat
EU bans kilts for non-Scots at weddings

Any non-Scottish people caught wearing kilts at weddings face at least ten years' hard labour in a Polish prison under a new EU ruling. Sales of kilts as far south as Devon have increased ten-fold...

4
hughesroland 20.02.12 10:29am
Major Clanger
BAFTAs; The Artist wins Best Foreign Language Film 1
beau-jolly 13.02.12 1:46pm
beau-jolly
Singer misses Grammys after one too many grammies 0
dvo4fun 13.02.12 1:18pm
dvo4fun
Abu Qatada tipped as next England manager

Commentators have predicted that extremist preacher Abu Qatada will soon be appointed England football manager on the grounds that he will be paid less than if he claimed welfare benefits. The...

0
roybland 13.02.12 12:57pm
roybland
Equivocal Valentine’s cards for unfulfilling relationships

Clinton Cards launches range of equivocal Valentine’s cards for unfulfilling relationships Following complaints from customers who find themselves in relationships lacking the life-long commitment...

12
Long Distance Clara 14.02.12 1:39pm
Perks
So a man's had a baby? Oh per-lease, says columnist. Women do it all the time

Janet Street Porter was cock a hoop this morning, after friends say she has identified a new seam of sexism in the media. It's hoped the discovery could support about a year's worth of columns. The...

0
ronseal 13.02.12 12:32pm
ronseal
Sport in crisis as footballers leave teams to help communities

A recent spate of highly paid footballers leaving their teams to become voluntary 5-a-side coaches and scout masters has resulted in a catastrophic shortage of Premiership players. Many of the...

0
kimllfixit 13.02.12 12:29pm
kimllfixit
BBC annouce new post watershed entertainment show "Gloryhole in the wall" 2
button 13.02.12 12:55pm
button
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three wrongs make a writ 0
ronseal 13.02.12 11:08am
ronseal
Astronaut has second thoughts on 'The DaVinci Code'

"I tried reading it back on Earth", admitted NASA astronaut Eugene C. Warpfactor, "and to be totally honest, once I'd put it down I couldn't pick it up. However, up here in the weightless conditions...

1
Smart Alex 13.02.12 10:57am
medici2471
LA medics, pioneers in back catalogue resuscitation 0
medici2471 13.02.12 10:46am
medici2471
Apache pilot and gunner, Prince Harry, disobeys order to fire at Will 2
Smart Alex 14.02.12 1:47pm
Perks
..

Arse. Just seen below and withrawn quietly...

0
beau-jolly 13.02.12 10:37am
beau-jolly
Tributes pour in for homeless drug addict

People from all walks of life have been paying tribute today to Jake Riley, a homeless heroin addict who died at the weekend aged just 34. Often seen huddled in shop doorways around Leicester city...

10
Vertically Challenged Giant 14.02.12 1:42pm
Perks
TV advert's jolly pensioners actually in Wonga poverty 0
medici2471 13.02.12 10:28am
medici2471
Dalglish's Mum makes Kenny say sorry for not tidying his room properly in 1962 0
charlies_hat 13.02.12 10:19am
charlies_hat
2013 Grammy's to include 'best hyperbole for this years dead addict' award

jeez - it's getting on my nerves...

2
charlies_hat 13.02.12 10:47am
button
SmithKlineBeecham releases Finlax for quantitative easing 0
cinquecento 13.02.12 9:40am
cinquecento
Whitney gags 1
cinquecento 13.02.12 10:50am
button
John Terry : "Suarez has brought racism, non-handshakes into disrepute"

On-again, off-again England football captain, John Terry slammed Luis Suarez for bringing shame on both racism and non-handshakes with his eloquently worded apology released yesterday. "Nice syntax...

4
Mr Target 13.02.12 2:44pm
malgor
FOOTBALLER APOLOGISES!! In other news, riots, bombings etc. 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 13.02.12 8:51am
Vertically Challenged Giant