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Keith Vaz clears his diary and heads for Pretoria

More next week...

medici2471 07.12.13 5:13pm
Mexican thief with radiation poisonoing upset not to have developed superpowers 0
Smart Alex 07.12.13 4:54pm
Smart Alex
First wave of internet Mandela gags fails in mass premature e-joculation.

More lateronish...

Al OPecia 07.12.13 4:44pm
Al OPecia
Harry Enfield rues loss of last remaining accurate impersonation. 3
Al OPecia 07.12.13 4:31pm
Ancient Manuscript Found In English Monastery Ruins…..

….Forecasts a blue-tunic group of men, greedy for power, will pillage the land and rob the poor…. Nah, could be a hoax...

Jesse Bigg 07.12.13 3:46pm
Jesse Bigg
Sorry - post withdrawn

Nothing to see here move along...

AReader 07.12.13 2:55pm
Justin Bieber asks to be sent to prison for 27 years. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 07.12.13 12:54pm
Al OPecia
New photo opportunity required

Politicians, celebrities, pop-star charity fund-raisers, political correspondents, reformed gangsters, relatives, distant relatives, un-reformed gangsters, Heads of States, Heads of failed States,...

vulture1 07.12.13 11:13am
Al OPecia
FIFA deny Brazil 2014 match ball hit by cutbacks More soon...

jp1885 07.12.13 10:58am
Dolphin Searches for Billingsgate Market in vain

Douglas the Dolphin returned to London today, helped along by the Great Storm Surge of 2013, only to find his favourite fish market is no more. "I'm devastated", Douglas said in an interview by the...

Beer Sampler 07.12.13 10:56am
Gangs of pensioners bringing country to halt with their lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes. Pensioners across the...

Midfield Diamond 07.12.13 10:51am
Kids relieved as body in chimney 'not Santa'

A Tampa family is celebrating today after an autopsy revealed that human remains found in their chimney turned out to be a real murder victim and not Santa Claus. The discovery was made when Pam...

Dick Everyman 07.12.13 10:24am
Dick Everyman
Marine given life sentence for not being an officer 0
A.A.Arkwright 07.12.13 10:17am
Peckham trader hopes to sell stock of 'Free Nelson Mandela' tshirts this weekend

More soon, luvly jubbly...

MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:45am
Small Business Saturday sponsored by credit card small business won't accept.

Sponsored by Amex to 'boost' small business. They will all be charged 5% for putting an A4 sheet in their window...

MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:25am
Dyson hand dryer dries hands in 10 seconds, damages ears in 5 seconds 1
Dumbnews 07.12.13 9:21am
Tidal Surge blasted for insensitivity

Many MP's along the East coast of the UK have complained to the Met Office over the 'questionable timing' of the tidal surge following the death of Nelson Mandela. Alan Fairchild of Hull blasted...

Mr Orca 07.12.13 9:02am
Kevin the Swan
World Cup Draw: England prepare for Brazilian rainforest games

Captain Steven Gerrard at Kew Gardens training ground this afternoon....

pinxit 07.12.13 8:55am
BBC accused of dumbing down for Christmas

The BBC have been accused of dumbing down ahead of their Christmas and New Year TV listings., Critics are particularly concerned over programmes such as ‘No Shit Sherlock’ starring Benedict...

Gerontius 07.12.13 8:02am
Jeremy Hunt
Funny Bush joke criticized for being too late 0
Dumbnews 06.12.13 6:44pm
BBC Poised To Report 'Nuclear Catastrophe' As Storms Lash British Coast 0
Titus 06.12.13 6:30pm
'Girl with huge tits essential' says Blatter

Sap Blatter has defended the use of huge tits during the World Cup draw saying the occasion would not have gone smoothly without them., Blatter said the use of tit-technology had been introduced as...

Gerontius 06.12.13 5:41pm
Economists struggle to explain sudden price jump on 24/6 flights from Brazil. 0
Ref Minor 06.12.13 5:36pm
Ref Minor
Mandela United drawn in group of death... 0
Tripod 06.12.13 5:25pm
England's Brazilian dream melts quicker than an ice cream

17.00 hrs England firm favourite to win World Cup, 17.05 hrs England confident of making the semi finals, 17.10 hrs England lucky if they escape the group stage, 17.15 hrs England cancel trip to...

irreverendJ 06.12.13 5:17pm
NIgerian man shares confidential proposal with 1 billion people 0
Dumbnews 06.12.13 4:11pm
US begs to be included in China's air zone

Joe Biden has made an impassioned plea for Beijing to stop narrowly defining their sphere of influence as ‘just East Asia’. Speaking to journalists the Vice-President made it clear that China...

Wrenfoe 06.12.13 4:07pm
Special aka still campaining to release the other two Nelson Mandela's. 0
godly1966 06.12.13 3:30pm
Express Says 'New Miracle Cure-All Pill Sadly Just Too Late To Save Mandela'. 3
Titus 06.12.13 2:01pm
Mandela walks through pearly gates and takes on the task of sorting out Heaven.

Nelson Mandela has passed away at the age of 95 to start a new chapter in his bid for equality, sorting out the mess that is Heaven. Mr Mandela has spent the best and worst years of his life fighting...

James Pluside 06.12.13 1:37pm
Midfield Diamond