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Two candidates put down in race to become Mayor of London

Two well known politicians have died after falling at a major hurdle in the race to become Mayor of London. Conservative Skye Terrier Boris Johnson, and balding Labour bulldog, Ken Livingstone, were...

kga6 14.04.12 8:36pm
Cameron sends letter to Jesse from B.U.R.M.A. 1
yussle 14.04.12 6:54pm
Painter declares Love for Girlfriend

He was heard to Say "I love you with all my art"...

GillsImp 14.04.12 6:48pm
Bee Keeper in France Banned from wearing a Veil 0
GillsImp 14.04.12 6:39pm
Your handy guide to the horses that might get shot at this year's Grand National

With the countdown underway to Sunday's Grand National, our pundit considers the form for Britain's favourite waste of horses. Heardthekneepopinbootle: 12-1. Much fancied last year, has let herself...

14.04.12 6:06pm
Missing Grand National winner found in centre of Liverpool on bricks 0
Perks 14.04.12 5:56pm
PM tells Aung San Suu Kyi “I’m a poet and I know it” as he shares rummy limerick

Embarrassed aides were temporarily lost for words when British PM David Cameron launched into a rendition of “There was a young lady from Rangoon” during his historic meeting with Burmese...

Yikes 14.04.12 3:51pm
Robin Gibb's temperature "Expected to peek on evening of 14th Apr" 1
beau-jolly 14.04.12 2:23pm
Peter Andre Uses Urinal Without Camera Crew Present

Publicity-shy Pop superstar, Peter Andre shocked his camera crew yesterday with an un-filmed visit to a public toilet in Camden, whilst on walkabout looking for some adoring fans to feature on his TV...

deluca 14.04.12 12:04pm
Man discovers he is spambot after repeated failiure to fill out Captcha form

A probation officer from Surrey has accidentally stumbled upon his true identity as a ‘spambot’ – built to randomly email strangers with barely legible special offers and enticing opportunities...

Skylarking 14.04.12 10:16am
North Korea hails successful submarine launch

or "North Korean vegetarians applaud successful rocket lunch"...

Yikes 14.04.12 9:09am
Panic measures agreed: blind, dire, sheer, mild, and totally unnecessary 0
weematt 14.04.12 8:35am
Media frenzy as Brad shows Ange his ring 0
Yikes 14.04.12 5:31am
Dominic Littlewood called in after Christian group repeatedly fails to fix gays. 0
Lemon difficult 13.04.12 9:27pm
Lemon difficult
Chocolate bar shortage fear as dyslexics Picnic buy 0
Ian Searle 13.04.12 5:55pm
Ian Searle
Britain applies for Panic Buying to become new event at the Olympics 0
Ian Searle 13.04.12 5:53pm
Ian Searle
Run on stamps prompts fear of saliva shortage

Ronald Dart of Sussex realised that he could save a considerable amount by posting the invitations to his daughter’s wedding early. With stamps going up by 15p at the end of the month, and two...

nickb 13.04.12 5:35pm
Launch Failure Sees Many Question Nth Koreas Dedication to Cause

North Korea has reacted apologetically to the rest of the world after its recent rocket testing failed to launch., "This has never happened before" Kim Jong-Un reticently stated to gathered state...

thisisall1word 13.04.12 5:30pm
Book of First Class Stamps sets record price at Stanley Gibbons auction 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.04.12 4:36pm
Rogue BBC cameraman shooting passers-by at Salford’s MediaCityUK 0
Nails UK 13.04.12 4:06pm
Nails UK
Man Jailed for Stockpiling Stamps

It is reported that a man was given a 12 month sentence for treading heavily on a victim's foot several times. His defence lawyer said that he had been stockpiling stamps...

GillsImp 13.04.12 3:22pm
Gloria Gaynor in head on car collision shock.

The popular 70's singer Gloria Gaynor was recovering in hospital last night from a car collision. Gaynor was said to be comfortable. Her relatives left the hospital early this morning and spoke with...

wilkieone 13.04.12 3:05pm
Kim Jong-un first man on the moon

Our beloved government is proud to announce our successful rocket launch, and that our beloved leader Kim Jong-un has safely landed on the moon. Today North Korea has made history, as Kim Jong-un is...

Mr_Johno 13.04.12 2:18pm
Charity begins at HMRC 1
13.04.12 2:18pm
Resurgence of blue hedgehog as UK experiences sonic boom 0
beau-jolly 13.04.12 2:13pm
Apple Creates New Dessert

Taking as their motto “every problem is an opportunity”, culinary-minded boffins at Apple have used the latest iPad’s notorious tendency to overheat to create a new product: the iPud. In the...

Iggy Pop-Barker 13.04.12 1:38pm
Plane crash kills all 377 on board, including everyone in Row 13 0
Oxbridge 13.04.12 1:06pm
North Korean Top Brass desperately seek ZX81 owner

North Korean Minister of Defense, Kim Ho Lau has blamed the wobbly bit that connects the external RAM drive to the ZX81 for the catastrophic failure of the long range missile trial earlier today. ...

Crippen 13.04.12 12:40pm
Prime Minister's visit to Burma sparks off more panic buying of fuel

. thankyou for setting me thinking custard cream...

Scronnyglonkle 13.04.12 11:59am
Prime Minister Visit to Burma - Et cetra, et cetra, et cetra!

[i]Reuters - 13 April 2012. Rangoon.[/i] David Cameron, on a visit to Burma, spoke to the press after a meeting with pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi in Rangoon. "When I sit, you sit. When I...

custard cream 13.04.12 11:54am
custard cream