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Lawrence killer's appeal will rest on toast in his underpants 0
roybland 3 years

One of the men yesterday given life sentences for the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence is to appeal on the grounds that fragments of toast found in his underpants prove he was at home on the night...

Embarrassment as New Year Honours recipients revealed to be Groupon customers 6
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace has promised an immediate investigation into claims, revealed in a national newspaper, that popular discount website Groupon was offering customers the chance to...

Man sues gypsy for ‘mis-sold lucky heather’ 4
kimllfixit 3 years

A man has this morning confirmed that he is taking a member of the Irish travelling community to court regarding what he believes to be a case of ‘mis-sold lucky heather’. Gareth Ramirez, a...

Man out walking dog finds 'nothing untoward' in shallow undergrowth 1
dicky37 3 years

Police baffled...

Captain Rick Santorum to feature in new Torchwood series 0
simonjmr 3 years
Government may merge TV and firearms licences 5
nickb 3 years

A combined licence aimed at making payments easier for those who want to watch TV and own firearms may be available later this year. "It is crucial for the future of public service broadcasting...

COBRA updates UK status to "Shooty" from "Stabby" after County Durham events 0
simonjmr 3 years
Branson to take "irony gamble" with Newcastle United-Virgin Money shirt deal. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

Richard Branson has executed a startling u-turn after he initially poured water on hopes that Virgin may have become a major sponsor for Newcastle United following its relocation to the north. The...

Number of Confused Percy Grainger Clones to Emerge From Cern LHC Reaches 100 0
thisisall1word 3 years
More Horrifying Sequel To Thatcher Film, Soon To Be Released...... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.."Thatcherism, Wasted Lives And Dave's Mates - The (W)Bankers."...

Unseasonably warm weather blamed for man’s outbreak of face-apples 22
3 years

A man with a full crop of face apples has blamed ‘an unseasonably warm December’. 35 year-old Derek Grantham has never fruited before, and biologists believe it is yet more evidence that changes...

Berlusconi claims ownership of Roman brothel token found in Thames. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Minstrel on South Pole solo cycling bid admits having large black-up team 0
cinquecento 3 years
25 Million tune in to Freaky Eaters 'addicted to a balanced diet' special 6
JonnyJP 3 years

A special episode of Freaky Eaters, broadcast on January 2nd, has attracted a staggering 25.6 million viewers making it the 4th most watched TV programme in UK history. This places it above the...

Police to examine whether they are “institutionally stupid” 0
nickb 3 years

It has been a difficult week for the police force. First came the news that police officers were handing back guns to mentally unstable people “as part of a weapons amnesty”. Then the leaked...

Man out walking his dog doesn't find body lying in the undergrowth 3
roybland 3 years

A man out walking his dog has returned home without having found a body lying in the undergrowth.,  , 'I raised the alarm as soon as I got home to the wife,' said Joe Williams (52). ' I've been...

Lonely Heart requests 'no kissing, just hard CPR' 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Andy Gray and Sergio Berlusconi to replace Alesha Dixon as strictly Judges. 0
godly1966 3 years
Graham Norton-Holmes and The Strange Incident at the British Museum 1
Inigo Unsworth 3 years

It was one of those blustery grey February afternoons where London was weary from an interminable winter. Arch-sleuth, Graham Norton-Norton-Holmes was dozing by a blazing fire after a solid lunch of...

Anti-tobacco lobby hails success of India's 'Smoking makes you a cunt' campaign 4
DrTurmoil 3 years

The link in case that seems like entirely gratuitous swearage:

Loch Ness is giant spirit level, Customs and Excise admit. 0
Griffin 3 years
Wolf In Sheep's Clothing Defends Alternative Lifestyle 3
sredni vashta 3 years
Poteen Plays Leading Role In Frustrated Love Story 0
Inigo Unsworth 3 years

Poteen Plays Leading Role, In Frustrated Love Story It was late on the night shift in the CAF – Cosmic Air Force – bunker deep in the Hampshire countryside. Star Fleet Commander Fitzwilliam...

John Terry appalled at being seen on fags. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
"Guns may be dangerous" - new report 0
apepper 3 years

In a new shock report, it turns out that guns might pose a danger to the public. Lottery plans to offer guns as consolation prizes have been put on hold...

Queen fears Sandringham invitation to Duke of Clarence may have been a mistake 0
medici2471 3 years
Man walking dog arrested on suspicion of multiple murders 18
medici2471 3 years
White Flag unveiled as new Liberal Party Symbol 1
Immunis 3 years

‘A new year, a new start, a new flag, but the same old Liberal Party’ announced Nick Clegg, deputy PM and party leader as he unveiled a plain white flag and waved it over his head to the tepid...

Memory of 90-91 Ashes Tour finally too much for Atherton to bear. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
McVities wrappers found beneath seat on French train 0
medici2471 3 years