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Daily Mail warns Shoesmith pay-out will push Britain into 1929 depression 1
roybland 3 years

The Daily Mail says that the £2.5 billion that social services boss Sharon Shoesmith hopes to get in compensation for her sacking over the Baby P case could plunge Britain into a 1929 scale...

Father Christmas accused of attempt to buy the World Cup for Lapland 0
Smaug 3 years

Suspended FIFA vice-president Jack Warner has alleged that Father Christmas, a senior official in Lapland's footballing association, was at the center of a campaign of bribery and intimidation to...

Barnsley swearing ban leaves foul-mouthed speechless 0
roybland 3 years

A ban on swearing in Barnley city centre has rendered some residents literally speechless.,  , 'Fuck me', said Jim Wilcox (82), 'I've been fuckin' 'effin and blindin' in Barnsley city centre since...

Discrimination against posh bastards on increase, claims posh bastard 4
roybland 3 years

Discrimination against posh people is on the increase, according to Lord Fellowes, Downton Abbey creator and ghastly snob. And the evidence supports Fellowes’ argument. He points out that of the...

Ambassador for the game expelled after being unmasked as spy 0
ronseal 3 years

One of football's top Ambassadors for the Game has been kicked out, triggering a series of tit for tat expulsions, after he was allegedly caught spying. er...

NHS to contain binge drinking problem by installing pubs in A&E 2
ronseal 3 years
Vikings cleared of rape and pillage by FA inquiry 0
ronseal 3 years

Following the success of his inquiry into FIFA corruption, Lord Triesman has been commissioned to conduct a series of internal investigations into embarrassing scandals. Among the organisations...

Vigilante group of News Of The World readers attack courgettes 5
charlies_hat 3 years
Gaddafi survives assassination attempt as Spanish cucumber sent in post. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Repeat news: Ball passes between sticks. Some foreign men very happy. Some not. 0
be reasonable 3 years

Fashion sale: 11 chokers, unused. Contact AF at box No. 3-1, Manchester...

Corrupt officials form their own union, THIEFA 0
ronseal 3 years
Sesame Street left-wing bias 'caused Big Bird to fly in circles' 0
3 years
Media exaggerations set to double by 200% 4
Nick McCarr 3 years
Salad Days over for the humble cucumber 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Judge Dredd to replace Cheryl Cole 4
Milo Shame 3 years

Insiders at Fox television have revealed that the vacant seat on the panel for US X-Factor will be filled by Mega-City One’s leading citizen, Judge Joseph Dredd. Renowned already in sci-fi circles...

Volcano Lands a Three-Picture Deal… Grimsvotn Signed To Erupt with Laughter 1
mbalton 3 years

An obscure Icelandic mountain has captured the imagination of Hollywood executives. The volcano Grimsvotn has been signed by a major studio to star in three feature films scheduled to be produced...

Germany/France: Ecoli outbreak 'nothing to do with the cucumbers up our arses.' 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Twitter writers' names revealed by Wikileaks. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Another crazy End Times prediction: prof says world to end in 7.6 billion years 7
pthr 3 years

The silly season is well and truly upon us. Determined not to be outdone by US evangelist Harold Camping, a British "academic" has claimed that the world will end in 7.6 billion years. If you...

Flick sick, pans sans one, legs (& co) split 0
virtuallywill 3 years

no more dancing later...

Charles warns of deadly cucumber strike on UK 0
roybland 3 years

A cucumber and asparagus attack on the UK as serious as a nuclear strike, could be imminent according to a new warning from Prince Charles.,  , The Prince, who often converses with plants, said...

Malta to divorce Gozo 2
virtuallywill 3 years

Comino later...

pthr 3 years

REMOVED - I see this has already been done, far better, and on the front page no less. Oops!...

Thousands in mass suicide at Man U Euro loss. Manchester reports no casualties 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Sharon Shoesmith to be compensated for death of Baby P 3
John Wiltshire 3 years

The former head of Haringay Social Services, Sharon Shoesmith, was today found not guilty of being responsible for her department, and will be given loads of money to make up for the death of Peter...

Bite sized crusty loaf hailed as 'outstanding roll model' 1
ronseal 3 years
Deadly cucumbers undetectable from ordinary ones 0
virtuallywill 3 years

CERN boffins discover highest possible number... and it's lower than you think 3
pthr 3 years

"It's a hundred and two," say confident scientists. In the northwest suburbs of Geneva, a team led by Rolf Prévessin has discovered the highest number of all. After spending the last eight years...

Top travelling, scripture-reciting Hindu mendicant hailed as 'crazy mutha fakir' 0
ronseal 3 years
Removed. Done before. 0
Ostsee 3 years