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‘Sinister’ Gove calls on OFSTED to recruit zombies as school inspectors

Education Minister Michael Gove has instructed OFSTED to employ members of the undead community to frighten the shit out of teaching staff more effectively. Under the guise of raising the standards...

Midfield Diamond 10.02.14 5:23pm
Flappy Bird creator pulls game due to Angry Bird rant.

Flappy Birds, the popular online game has been removed from online stores due to threatening and abusive tweets from Angry Birds...

carlosmanwelly 10.02.14 4:47pm
Freud exposed in visa systems scam is all in the mind 0
irreverendJ 10.02.14 4:43pm
Levels left undredged 'to conceal New Labour body dump' 5
electrelane 10.02.14 4:30pm
Brown-paper-bag-on-head stunt backfires as Claire Short woos opposite sex 0
Landfill 10.02.14 4:16pm
PM declares new Somerset reservoir open in grand ceremony involving armed forces 0
Bigglesworth 10.02.14 4:09pm
Man charged with cannibalism denies he is a people person 10
sydalg 10.02.14 4:09pm
Eric Pickles accused of muddying the water after using Somerset toilet. 1
godly1966 10.02.14 4:09pm
Centre Piece of New National Gallery Wing "The Ascension of Pickles"

In a move to make High Art more accessible to a wider audience, the National Gallery today opened the David Cameron Wing, showcasing previously lost or unseen art treasures. The main room of the new...

blokefromstoke 10.02.14 3:36pm
BBC World Service Radio to add subtitles

In light of the recent improvements to the World Service Newsday programming using authentic regional accents, subtitles are to be streamed simultaneously for those native English speakers who have...

Robert Koch 10.02.14 3:04pm
Robert Koch
Flood of northerners into London brings their weather down with them

Northerners have been blamed for the grim new weather profile that has hit London and the south. Traditional southern ways of life could be destroyed, as people are forced to talk to each other, and...

ronseal 10.02.14 2:54pm
Top Is The New Bottom As Set Top Box Spotted "On Top Of Set"

That must-have status symbol amongst British badgers, the "Set Top Box" has undergone an extraordinary transformation over recent months. A recent survey by the BBC's Natural History Unit, The One...

BewsNiscuit 10.02.14 2:45pm
Panic in Norfolk as killing of lions at Safari park is done due to inbreeding 0
tonyhill 10.02.14 2:43pm
Pope gets bigger oar to stick into Middle East conflict

Levels of papal interference into international affairs is set to rise this week, with the unveiling in the Vatican of a bigger, more-eye catching papal oar, shortly to be stuck into the global...

nickb 10.02.14 2:40pm
Robert Koch
Eric Pickles advises Somerset residents to Neknominate the flood waters.

The communities secretary, Eric Pickles has told residents of flood hit Somerset to embrace the fast growing craze of neknomination, by drinking a pint of the flood water and nominating a neighbor to...

carlosmanwelly 10.02.14 2:28pm
custard cream
Reading and Slough to be Dredged to Alleviate Everyone 0
BewsNiscuit 10.02.14 1:41pm
BBC to cancel all regular programming in lieu of Curlers defeat

The BBC have announced that BBC One will have its schedules altered for the remainder of today, removing all current programming and replacing it with in-depth analysis of the Great British Women’s...

james_doc 10.02.14 12:54pm
Metropolitan media well-impressed by power of Mother Nature

London based journalists say they have been overawed by the 'raw power of Mother Nature'. 'I was completely overwhelmed by the elemental forces unleashed down in Cornwall,' said a Daily Mail...

roybland 10.02.14 12:48pm
Mysterons attack Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony "We know you can hear us Earth People"...

Ian Searle 10.02.14 12:41pm
Woody Allen denies molesting Flappy Bird

In a bizarre twist, the addictive mobile App developed by Dong Nguyen has been withdrawn from sale amidst accusations by Mia Farrow that the Oscar winning director ‘tapped up’ her feathered...

Wrenfoe 10.02.14 12:39pm
Jurassic mosquitos placed on amber alert 2
cinquecento 10.02.14 11:49am
Midfield Diamond
Copenhagen police deny Giraffe death was connected to Nek Nomination

no more soon ....

Not Amused 10.02.14 11:33am
Not Amused
Essex man undid his bottom button

And his bum fell off . . ...

OldThingy 10.02.14 11:33am
Tories In A Right Pickle….

…Don't send him back to West Riding, please!...

Jesse Bigg 10.02.14 11:02am
Jesse Bigg
Benefits spongers to be relocated to Somerset. 0
FOAD 10.02.14 10:59am
Branston; "We made a mistake with Pickles"

More to follow...

apepper 10.02.14 10:33am
Reclusive "Lord" Smith texts "Blind" Patterson rather than phoning

You couldn't make it up!...

BewsNiscuit 10.02.14 10:29am
Jackson's moonwalk in Amsterdam 'purely terrestrial in origin' say researchers 0
pere floza 10.02.14 10:27am
pere floza
Somerset farmers advised to move into Watercress and Rice production 0
Ian Searle 10.02.14 10:02am
Ian Searle
As areas where rich voters live affected by flooding, PM suddenly takes notice 0
Ian Searle 10.02.14 10:01am
Ian Searle