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New cunt-hood honour created especially for Tony Blair 4
pere floza 31.12.12 7:11pm
Livingstone reveals ‘turning down CBE was my greatest honour’

Former politician Ken Livingstone has announced with quiet dignity on national radio that he ‘jumped at the chance’ to turn down a CBE. Livingstone explained that he didn’t think politicians...

31.12.12 6:59pm
Jeremy Lloyd awarded an Allo All-O-BE... 0
Ian Searle 31.12.12 6:34pm
Ian Searle
US fiscal cliff lottery guarantees millions of paupers in New Years Eve Lottery 0
Ian Searle 31.12.12 6:26pm
Ian Searle
Prostitute to see in New Year with a bang 1
Bourbon 31.12.12 6:23pm
Tess Goes
Gordon Brown to guest star in Mrs Brown's Boys 2
custard cream 31.12.12 6:09pm
Tess Goes
Last of The Summer Wine cast trapped in constant Yesterday +1 loop 0
custard cream 31.12.12 5:21pm
custard cream
Albert Taindeath refuses knighthood

More soon. Go on, you know you want to...

beau-jolly 31.12.12 4:59pm
Poundland sale sees store paying customers to take goods away 0
custard cream 31.12.12 3:48pm
custard cream
Ralph McTell says he may release a 2nd song in 2013 0
dvo4fun 31.12.12 3:07pm
Enraged Citizens Storm Charlton Heston's Grave, Tear Gun Out His Cold, Dead Hand

Outraged citizens, incensed by the shredding of childrens bodies at Sandy Hook Elementary School last week by a crazy with an assault rifle, turned out in droves at the grave of Charleton Heston,...

31.12.12 2:31pm
Knight of the Realm Bradley Wiggins forced to trade in bike for a horse. 0
grottymonty 31.12.12 12:32pm
Peter Jackson eyes "Aliens love Underpants" as next big blockbuster

With the three films of the Hobbit now in the can, Peter Jackson has hinted that he will next turn to another children's story for his next three-part blockbuster series. Film one - tentatively...

grottymonty 31.12.12 12:30pm
Local Garage to offer car repairs with “happy ending”

Motorists paying a visit to Ditton Bridge Auto Repairs will now be offered hand relief with their new exhaust or oil change, as local mechanic Tony Barragan strives to halt a slide in business at his...

The Bogs 31.12.12 11:42am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cricket world in shock as Boycott apologises for insensitive comments

Truebiscuit: Please someone check if the seas are boiling and the Sun has turned blood red...

JohnA 31.12.12 11:15am
Location of Clinton's clot not revealed but he is believed to be in Washington 0
medici2471 31.12.12 10:52am
Hilary Clinton's clot spotted early ... his name is Bill 0
brownpaperreporter 31.12.12 9:19am
Tube Cleaners Going Underground over pay 0
victimms 31.12.12 8:20am
'Happy new year George' says everyone 0
antharrison 31.12.12 8:02am
Cigarettes and Alcohol to North Pole, as Santa gives Troops best Christmas ever

experts have reported record exports of cigarettes and alcohol to the north Pole in the run up to the festive season as Father Christmas provided the best yule-tide haul yet for our Troops out...

Don1 30.12.12 11:39pm
Don't Chain Yourself to Radiator says minister who slams Waite Watcher Diet 3
ronseal 30.12.12 6:59pm
Police pull out all the stops in hunt for organist's killer. More soon.

(I heard a newsreader say this on the radio.)...

dominic_mcg 30.12.12 6:39pm
"Fergy Lergy" Could Affect Any Top Team," Says Expert

Top football managers throughout England, could be under attack by the "Fergy Lergy," which hones in on referees, linesmen and opposition managers alike., Symtoms are the miniaturisation of...

Jesse Bigg 30.12.12 1:53pm
Jesse Bigg
Morale amongst pots and kettles 'at an all time low' warns MP

More Vaz soon...

Geraldine Wiley 30.12.12 11:46am
Geraldine Wiley
Witches and wizards left disappointed by Microsoft Word's Spellchecker 1
Smart Alex 30.12.12 11:39am
Dick Everyman
First series of Israel's got Talents discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls 0
Dick Everyman 30.12.12 11:24am
Dick Everyman
Stiking male prostitutes to down tools 3
Sinnick 30.12.12 10:13am
Dick Everyman
Patents Office overwhelmed as South Yorkshire Police "invent lots of stuff" 0
Smart Alex 30.12.12 12:09am
Smart Alex
PM announces lottery grant to get Bradley Wiggins a decent haircut. 4
MADJEZ 29.12.12 11:31pm
Tess Goes
Weekend pull out section: create your own Top 40 song!

Ever fancied writing the next number one for Generic Direction or Girls Generic? Thought you wouldn't have the talent to write the likes of "muma do the hump" or "the way I are"? Or the linguistic...

quango 29.12.12 11:11pm
Sir Lupus