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Athletes set fire to Olympic tat as film depicts Mo Farah not winning

more later...

virtuallywill 23.09.12 9:40am
Chief Whip row triggers government asterisk shortage

Rebutting claims that Andrew Mitchell yelled “you’re f***** plebs” and “You don’t run the f******* government and you’re a bunch of m**************s!” at Downing Street police officers...

nickb 23.09.12 9:20am
Storm as pictures of Mrs Jesus topless published

More to follow...

apepper 23.09.12 1:12am
Downing Street police demand firearms to repel outsurgents 15
23.09.12 1:04am
Cecilia Gimenez to be the new face of B&Q 0
bonjonelson 22.09.12 11:55pm
Plebs outraged by Met Police linkage 1
antharrison 22.09.12 8:43pm
Martin Shuttlecock
New Chinese ‘sperm extracting’ machine is “better than iPhone 5” say all men

Every man in the world has universally agreed that the Chinese Sanwe SW-3701 ‘sperm extractor’ is the greatest invention ever, unlikely to be surpassed by anything Apple or anyone else is likely...

DustyBinLaden 22.09.12 8:41pm
Islamic extremists targeted by Islamic even more extremists

Violence in Libya escalated as Islamic extremists waving placards were attacked by Islamic even more extremists outraged that the name of the prophet Mohammed was shown in print on their banners....

Actual Size 22.09.12 8:41pm
Otto Jespersen
PPI Claims Advisors To Be Investigated - Reclaim Your PPI Claim Fees Now

The burgeoning industry which has sprouted up around reclaiming PPI payments has itself come under scrutiny by the OFT, following a wave of complaints that people using such services have been ripped...

Martin Shuttlecock 22.09.12 8:40pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Louvre's Islamic Art Wing to remove all Mohammed portraits. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.09.12 5:25pm
Gwent prostitutes told to wear more clothes. Lots more.

Prostitutes in the Welsh county of Gwent have been told to cover up and stop suggestive gyrating in their windows as of next month. Please. As of October 1, the "working girls" will have to abide by...

Squudge 22.09.12 3:50pm
Dsylexic protestor chants 'Death to UAE" 2
Dumbnews 22.09.12 3:08pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Toddler Mauled By Urban Rabbit

The incident happened yesterday teatime in the back garden of a house on the outskirts of Dewsbury. The two year old was said to be shaken by the completely unprovoked attack, and left with some...

Martin Shuttlecock 22.09.12 3:04pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Tory Chief Whip Charged With “Major Violations” After Random Traffic Stop

Conservative minister and Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell has been summoned to appear before Westminster magistrates after he was stopped by officers while riding his bike along Whitehall. Mitchell...

22.09.12 2:40pm
Late Night Screening of Harrison Ford Movie Ignites Amish Fury

A midnight screening of the 1985 American thriller film directed by Peter Weir and starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, Witness, has ignited scenes of violence and rioting throughout the Amish...

22.09.12 2:23pm
Andrew Mitchell arrested for cycling on the pavement. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.09.12 2:06pm
Failure of skinny dip record attempt blamed on reduced members 0
Queen of Tarts 22.09.12 1:04pm
Queen of Tarts
"I have complete confidence in twat Mitchell," states Cameron 0
DustyBinLaden 22.09.12 12:23pm
Britney Spears wildcat action cancels cross-channel ferries

or, Wildcat action cancels Britney Spears...

PeterB 22.09.12 12:00pm
New Quango furious

the new Quango "Police Liase with Everybody Better", or PLEB as they are known are furious at Andrew Mitchell "bringing them into disrepute", according to Scotland Yard insiders today...

Bismarck 22.09.12 10:59am
Jesus Marriage Certificate found in Colchester Attic

Sensational new evidence proves that Jesus was definitely married according to Ken Stokes, Professor of Coptic studies at the University of East Anglia. The startling discovery of a marriage...

Denis Dijon 22.09.12 10:27am
Denis Dijon
Decriminalising bunting ‘could encourage flag abuse’

Eric Pickles has taken the controversial step of decriminalising a range of popular flags for 'personal use', but social workers have warned that widespread nationalism ‘could be just around the...

22.09.12 10:10am
IOS6 maps to answer question "How many roads must a man walk down"

Apple have revealed that the new IOS6 maps app has been carefully designed to provide a definitive answer to the eternal question [i]how many roads must a man walk down[/i]. "We think the answer is...

apepper 22.09.12 9:39am
Referring to Kate as The Royal Couple" is disrespectful, says Palace. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.09.12 9:19am
Teachers to receive invoices in place of pay, says Ofsted. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.09.12 9:06am
Clegg sorry for breaking tuition fee pledge...

in return for a vote on Proportional Representation, and some magic beans...

deskpilot3 22.09.12 7:09am
Ed Balls yesterday apologised for selling his daughter's hamster (2 years ago)

Speaking from his garage in his North London home Ed made this emotional and extraordinary apology "There's no easy way to say this: I made a pledge to keep the hamster, I didn't stick to it - and...

andydog 22.09.12 7:07am
Phil and Grant distance themselves from David 2
Duncan Biscuit 22.09.12 7:02am
Mr Target
Olympic Park volunteers struggle to adjust to civilian life, says report

With their distinctive sponge fingers, their uniforms and their loud hailers, it's hard to ignore the Olympic Park volunteer vets who hang around the streets of Britain. But everyone tries to. It's...

ronseal 22.09.12 6:39am
Mr Target
Turkish Grand Prix latest - Simeon Stylites named as polesitter 2
Smart Alex 22.09.12 6:37am