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Pogues penny whistle player, admits he has not been pulling his weight 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Police to use sprinklers as compromise on using water cannon for student demos 2
Basil_B 3 years
Daily Mail in meltdown after "Hurley Hurly-Burly When Sheik of Tweak Gets Curly 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

With Our Girly" headline...

Hounslow man sees trampoline gift for kids as sound investment 12
Golgo13 3 years

Few parents are looking forward to Christmas as much as Martin Sands this year – he can't wait to capture the looks on the faces of his three sons aged ten, seven and five when he films them being...

Official body says you can now start saying ‘twixt’ 0
Bravenewmalden 3 years

The British Wordage Society, the body responsible for overseeing the use of weird and funny-sounding words, announced that today was the official start of the twixt season. It marks the first time...

Pope 'definitely Catholic', say latest Wikileaks cables 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Mark Williams announces retirement from 'stupid, boring snooker' 2
Golgo13 3 years

Just days after throwing away a 9-5 lead to lose 10-9 to John Higgins in the UK Championship final in Telford last Sunday, two-time world champion Mark Williams announced his retirement from the...

Parliamentary report lays bare the required health and efficiency savings 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Suicide bomber contemplates a virgin-free future... 0
Doylem 3 years
Obesity concern sees West Midlands renamed Waist Midlands 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years

Does my brum look big in this?...

Report finds no evidence home-grown extremists better for you than foreign ones 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Britain’s poor health rating confirmed as she phones in sick again 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Bombing raid on suicide bombers' paradise wipes out purgatory wedding party 1
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Dateline: Washington 2014., President Palin has apologised to residents of purgatory, after a friendly fire bombing raid wiped out a wedding party of innocent souls. HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK. MUST...

New Scottish Minister For Transport Admits He's Struggling to Prevent More Snow 7
IABP 3 years

The new Scottish minister for transport and infrastructure, Keith Brown, is worried he could be out of a job this weekend as his attempts to stop snow falling look in danger of failing. Keith Brown,...

Religion snobs to celebrate "Winterval, Shminterval". More soon. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Sweden Bomber Professors amazed at change in student 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

"Usually we manage to grind out any enthusiasm and motivation for learning and churn out apathetic, lazy graduates who brainwashed after 3 years of sex and drugs want something for nothing. We will...

After spending 3 years in the uk man blows himself up in despair. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'I feel sorry for people who live there' said one swede, 'Britain must be a real hellhole'...

Accident insurance company receive claim from failed suicide bomber 0
Basil_B 3 years

A British accident insurance company received an unusual claim today from a failed suicide bomber named Mohammed uk up., The claim read as follows, The day started as normal as I set out to cause...

Hurley urged to keep Warne interested for another month at least. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Big credit to Rickwestwell and IABP if it gets anywhere...

Shane Warne Free To Play In Next Test After Pulling Out Of Liz Hurley 3
IABP 3 years
North Korean workers 'celebrate' opening of new Juche-based themepark. 2
dogwheels 3 years

North Korean workers have celebrated the opening of a new themepark based on Juche, the guiding ideology of the secretive Communist state. Jucheland, located 50 miles north of capital Pyongyang,...

German war archives reveal rare recording of Hitler singing jingle bells 5
Basil_B 3 years

German war historians today unearthed a rare 78 rpm copy of former nazi dictator Adolf Hitler singing the popular christmas hit jingle bells., 'We found the record stored at the bottom of a box...

God confesses to being "a bit behind" with prayer requests. 3
MC One R 3 years

God has admitted to "being a bit behind" with his workload for some years now, but hang in there, because prayers offered in the 2000-2002 religious period are now "next up in the in-tray" according...

Liberal MP Let Hooker Sit on Queen's seat in the Palace of Westminster 2
Dun Dunkin 3 years

China to give him an 'Equality' prize...

Mega Shark and Giant Octopus agree to disagree 0
petebrown 3 years

One of the world's greatest rivalries looks set to be over after Mega Shark and Giant Octopus agreed to disagree. The resolution was reached thanks to the mediation of Kofi Annan, who spent several...

Hooker Said Lib Dem MP told her he was divorced. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

From reality?...

American Pasta Barred From Entering Britain's. More Soon 0
FairBen 3 years
Student Still Traumatised After Encounter with Camilla 14
De-scribe 3 years

Several students were still recovering in hospital last night from trauma following their encounter in Westminster with a vehicle containing Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, last week. Around 15...

Shane Warne recalled to Ashes squad... 0
Dexter 3 years

'I've learnt how to deal with bouncers since I met Liz Hurley'...

Report shows porn industry paints a misleading picture of plumbing profession. 4
MC One R 3 years