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Millions of black holes spotted in Barclays annual report and accounts 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 2:47pm
simonjmr
USA: Republicans lose Latino support over 'Juan out all out' immigration policy

more soon. I'm so sorry, have you see my coat?...

0
dvo4fun 30.08.12 12:57pm
dvo4fun
Clegg to demand Para-Elections for 'differently-abled' political parties

. more soon...

0
Squudge 30.08.12 11:32am
Squudge
Essex police call off search for unicorn after concluding photo was of a goat

Police in Essex investigating reports of a unicorn being spotted in a field have called off the search and admitted that the photo they had received as evidence was ‘almost certainly a goat’....

7
Vertically Challenged Giant 30.08.12 11:22am
The All New Jeni B
EDF Mystified by Loss of Gas Supply to Thousands of East London Homes

Just after 11:30pm on Wednesday 29th August, thousands of homes in East London lost gas supply. Supplier, EDF issued the following statement: ‘At approximately 11:30pm on Wednesday evening,...

0
HenryMJUK 30.08.12 11:06am
HenryMJUK
Maynard's Midget gems unwise official sponsors of the Paralympic games 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:36am
simonjmr
1000's of Lawyers descend upon London for the Paralegal games 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:33am
simonjmr
Tricky stick shift manoeuvre results in Will.i.am and Cheryl car crash 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:23am
simonjmr
Afghans favourite to win Paralympic gold in the headless football. More soon. 6
dominic_mcg 30.08.12 10:03am
bonjonelson
Julian Assange To Have Sex-Change Op

In the next few weeks Julian Assange, the well-known albino Aussie nosy parker and gossipmonger, is to undergo a special sex-change operation in the Ecuadorian embassy, leaving himself with both male...

1
Reg Herring 30.08.12 7:39am
Scroat
Prince Andrew parks helicopter in disabled spaces at paralympics.

Heard saying 'Well if a hundred disabled people turn up, I'll move it oh bugger' More soon...

1
MADJEZ 30.08.12 7:15am
RickH
Channel 4 apologise for Freudian slip as opening described as 'spactacular'

More soon....

1
MADJEZ 29.08.12 11:48pm
antharrison
Nick Clegg "Awaits being new PM" at next election, denies looking for other job

Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg has announced that the challenges associated with directing the UK through the economic recession will not be too difficult when he is annointed as prime minister at the...

0
antharrison 29.08.12 11:46pm
antharrison
Philips Idowu injury doubt for Paralympics 0
custard cream 29.08.12 10:37pm
custard cream
Mini voted the only British car of all time

Or at least I think that's what it said http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/classiccars/9503787/Mini-voted-the-greatest-British-car-of-all-time.html...

3
quango 29.08.12 10:36pm
Gary Baldy
Paralympic signer 'hopelessly flat' claims Paralympic singer.

Operatic star Denise Leigh who performed at the Paralympics opening ceremony has lodged a complaint against Deepa Shastri who signed for the singer throughout the musical number, claiming she has...

0
Boutros 29.08.12 10:21pm
Boutros
Hawking accused of miming at Paralympic opening ceremony 4
grumblechops 29.08.12 10:13pm
charlies_hat
Previously undiscovered cheese unearthed in Cornwall

Archaeologists have unearthed evidence of a hitherto unknown cheese which is being hailed by some as the “most important discovery since Wensleydale”. The cheese is a bizarre hybrid of a...

1
grumblechops 29.08.12 8:42pm
JohnA
Paralympic Squad Determined to Equal Team GB in Condom Use

British competitors at the London 2012 Paralympics Games have spoken of their determination to equal the stunning performance of their non-disabled counterparts when it comes to casual sex. 'Over...

0
Carter 29.08.12 8:23pm
Carter
Lib Dems under pressure as NEC forced to make decisions on 'stuff' 0
tedweasel 29.08.12 8:05pm
tedweasel
Outrage as dwarf porn moved to top shelf

More to follow...

1
apepper 29.08.12 6:36pm
Squudge
Ann Romney reveals favoured sexual position to gain missionaries' vote 0
Squudge 29.08.12 6:28pm
Squudge
Virgin warns 'First running west coast main line can 'only improve services''

In a dispute that has now been handed over to the courts, Virgin Trains have said the awarding of the west coast main line to First Great Western opens the real threat of improvements to services. As...

4
Perks 29.08.12 5:18pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Bond treated for PTSD after “Living Daylights” flashbacks

A spokesman for James Bond has revealed the Secret Service agent has been admitted to a secure hospital after suffering terrifying flashbacks, seemingly triggered by memories of a 1987 mission in...

0
grumblechops 29.08.12 3:21pm
grumblechops
Assad appeals for patience - “You can’t hurry genocide”

Syrian President Bashar Al Assad yesterday made a TV appeal for patience, as the state military continues to implement his plan of nationwide opinion-cleansing. Heavy shelling has been seen in...

4
grumblechops 29.08.12 2:49pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Clegg Emergency Tax is actually a 'whip round'

Nick Clegg was quick to clarify today that the proposed 'Emergency Tax on the rich' is actually a whip round. "We were just planning on, you know, passing the hat round. We promise not to ask...

0
Squudge 29.08.12 2:08pm
Squudge
British Army to disband Royal Milk Tray Corps

"They have served no meaningful purpose since the Cold War, in the mid-eighties. We simply can't justify having a decadent regiment in the current political and financial climate." The army will now...

4
gaijintendo 29.08.12 2:07pm
gaijintendo
Assange I was in the Embassy when woman's clothes cut off in prison 0
simonjmr 29.08.12 1:21pm
simonjmr
Clegg - Rich should pay more tax

Nick Clegg today has announced a more controversial tax policy aimed at men named Richard, under the new leglistaion men named Richard, Rick, Rich, Dick or Dickie will be forced to pay more tax than...

0
simonjmr 29.08.12 1:19pm
simonjmr
Twelve held after police raid interrupts violence-crazed computer nerds

Following a tip-off, police managed to prevent an orgy of violence between two vicious gangs of computer geeks in a London office last night, arresting twelve men. It is believed that all those...

0
Midfield Diamond 29.08.12 12:24pm
Midfield Diamond