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Didn't realise header was limited 0
NewSuburbanDad 06.05.12 8:36pm
NewSuburbanDad
Virgo urged to explain "Such a delicate little pink, Willie," snooker commentary 0
Haywood Manley 06.05.12 8:23pm
Haywood Manley
Cowell predicts Britain's Got Talent will be won by a dogging act. 0
MADJEZ 06.05.12 8:13pm
MADJEZ
Greek Turkeys refuse to vote for Christmas 0
Mandy Lifeboat 06.05.12 7:53pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Sir Alex Ferguson concedes title and will now simply be known as Alec 0
Underconstruction 06.05.12 7:32pm
Underconstruction
Hollande and Barratt to launch healthy blancmange range 0
Underconstruction 06.05.12 7:25pm
Underconstruction
Headteacher's oppose new punctuation and spelling test's. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.05.12 7:12pm
dominic_mcg
Francois Hollande anounces engagement to Jerry Hall. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.05.12 7:00pm
dominic_mcg
Rock in landmark victory on novel format TV show

A large rock has been declared cliff-top Inanimate Object of the Year, winning 80 % of the public vote. Channel 5's IOOTY show pulled a record 96.5 viewers for its final show, of which only 7 were...

0
kga6 06.05.12 6:43pm
kga6
Japanese man wins local erection 3
Underconstruction 06.05.12 5:47pm
Thor
George Osborne in Parkinson's Scare

A Treasury spokesman has moved to scotch health rumours about the Chancellor, George Osbourne following his appearance on The Andrew Marr show this morning. Osbourne was seen to nod and shake...

0
Terrance Clench 06.05.12 11:23am
Terrance Clench
Cameron under pressure to appoint Minister for Queuing

PM David Cameron is said to be on the verge of appointing a 'queue tsar' to monitor and control queueing across Britain., Having studied 'The German model' which adopts a 'survival of the fittest'...

0
Underconstruction 06.05.12 11:13am
Underconstruction
News Of The World launches 'Help For Cowards' charity 0
Underconstruction 06.05.12 10:40am
Underconstruction
Home Secretary directs Borders Agency to target bad cueing at Crucible. 0
weematt 06.05.12 10:10am
weematt
Outrage that top cats are still receiving mousing benefit. 2
bonjonelson 06.05.12 8:59am
kga6
Olympic Officials Smuggle Real Bomb Inside Wapping

News International are no longer sitting on a metaphorical time bomb. More soon . . ...

0
Terrance Clench 06.05.12 8:38am
Terrance Clench
Serial hooker murderers call for moratorium to replenish stock

The nationwide shortage of prostitutes has prompted the British Association of Serial Hooker Killers (“BASHK”)* to agree on a number of voluntary measures to arrest the worrying decline. The move...

2
Yikes 06.05.12 12:31am
FlashArry
Academic Says Jessie J Only 94% Lesbian

Claims in a recent book that pop star Jessie J is “100% lesbian” have been strongly countered by researchers in the field of erotic mathematics. Professor Edward Simpson, of the Institute of...

3
Iggy Pop-Barker 06.05.12 12:04am
FlashArry
'Doomsday averted' as archaeologists hail discovery of next year's

"Brazilian girls" Mayan calendar. I know, doesn't fit...

1
Lemon difficult 06.05.12 12:00am
FlashArry
Jamie Oliver and Gok to do joint show on mincing. 0
Maverick 05.05.12 11:30pm
Maverick
Police forced to abandon 'can I use your lavatory?' ploy

Police forces throughout England are abandoning what they once regarded as a major weapon in the fight against crime - asking to use the lavatory as a cover for searching for evidence in a suspect's...

0
roybland 05.05.12 9:21pm
roybland
Triumphant workers spark celebrations across the UK

The May bank holiday weekend has, once again, seen spontaneous mass celebrations by workers celebrating their successful struggle against capitalism. Alan Jones, a scaffolder from Dunstable, emerged...

3
Mandy Lifeboat 05.05.12 8:59pm
Thor
Twitter community safe as Ferdinand returns to fitness

The Twitter community has been celebrating the return of footballer Rio Ferdinand to the Manchester United first team after a spell out through injury. The defender, 30, suffered a back injury...

1
dannyboy206 05.05.12 8:26pm
dannyboy206
Alcoholics Anonymous furious about new reality show "My big fat tipsy wedding". 0
dominic_mcg 05.05.12 7:10pm
dominic_mcg
Mixed fortunes for racists at Wembley 0
dvo4fun 05.05.12 6:17pm
dvo4fun
Olympic Security

Health and Safety Executive declare Olympic site a "Hard Hat" area after MoD deployment of missiles on rooftops...

0
Colin S 05.05.12 5:09pm
Colin S
2 MCs and 1 DJ 8
grumblechops 05.05.12 2:25pm
dvo4fun
Muamba feeds 5000

Bolton Wanderers midfielder and possible returned Messiah Fabrice Muamba today enhanced his Jesus credentials by feeding 5000 starving, emaciated Bolton supporters with frozen Hawaiian pizzas from...

2
daneade 05.05.12 1:01pm
Thor
Midsomer police cancel leave as billionaire with 5 ex-wives and 13 kids moves in 0
Yikes 05.05.12 10:07am
Yikes
Duchess of York on trial in Turkey for impersonating royalty. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.05.12 9:21am
dominic_mcg