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Army on riot alert as English Heritage blue plaque scheme suspended

more satire!...

custard cream 06.01.13 7:03pm
Car stuck in a queue of Bic lorries caught in stationary traffic

Booooooom I'm getting good at this...

Bourbon 06.01.13 6:54pm
Critics describe soapstar's pantomime performance as "wishy washy". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.01.13 6:44pm
Transport cafe patron hospitalised after set-to 1
Idiot 06.01.13 5:32pm
Elephants apply to Russian circus to escape Brigitte Bardot. 0
Boutros 06.01.13 3:25pm
Lewd phone shop manager sacked for offering customers Everything Everywhere. 0
Boutros 06.01.13 3:18pm
Bardot to follow Depardieu to Russia

French screen icon Brigitte Bardot has threatened to follow compatriot Gérard Depardieu to Russia, who was granted citizenship for tax exile, unless all gays, lesbians and Muslims are expelled from...

mahesh 06.01.13 1:46pm
Coalition to privatise the moral high ground

Sources within government say the Conservative Manifesto for the next election will include privatisation of the moral high ground. One senior minister who preferred not to be named, Michael Gove,...

nickb 06.01.13 1:41pm
“We are totally obsessed with sex”, admits churchman...

“Churchmen are totally obsessed with sex and sexuality”, admits the Rt Rev Simon Hathersage, Bishop of Leamington Spa. “Since our own sex lives tend to be dreary and dessicated - there’s a...

Tripod 06.01.13 10:41am
Investor interest in Northern Ireland flagging 3
medici2471 06.01.13 1:23am
nostra da mouse
Hand Transplant Man challenges his consent form...

"I clearly stated I wanted Jodie Marsh's or Cheryl Cole's right hand "...

misterjingles 05.01.13 11:02pm
New ‘pet onesies’ make rabbits look like little naked men

A craze for people-shaped ‘all-in-one’ sleep suits designed especially for rabbits is finally putting some fun into the lives of pet owners. The rubbery, pink, wrinkled ‘human onsies’ make...

Dawsons creek 05.01.13 10:28pm
NHS to hire cruise ships to provide accommodation for patients with Norovirus.

Or should that be the other way around?...

deskpilot3 05.01.13 9:51pm
Octogenarian F1 Supremo to wed octogenarian

In a shock announcement, Bernie Ecclestone has ditched Brazilian beauty Fabiana Flosi and is to marry a woman his own age. 82 year old Rolls Royce engineer, Mabel Dawson, who was controversially...

Dick Everyman 05.01.13 8:47pm
Dick Everyman
Frontline MoD scientist develops formidable legal high

A scientist working for the Ministry of Defence has invented a legal high so powerful, the users believe they can piss rainbows. Dr John Timpkins worked alongside soldiers in Kandahar for 3 months,...

Dawsons creek 05.01.13 8:22pm
Dawsons creek
C of E Tells Gay Bishops Not To....

.stick it up their mitre...

Jesse Bigg 05.01.13 7:37pm
Jesse Bigg
Excited team of medieval anthropologists arrive in Belfast 0
medici2471 05.01.13 7:04pm
Stobart hires Wembley to celebrate fault free delivery.

Channel 5 reports that the Stobart Group was so pleased when a successful road delivery was made this week they will hold their biggest ever Open Day at Wembley Stadium on Saturday at a cost of...

JoshSpringer 05.01.13 5:49pm
'It really is an extra leg' claims Jake the Peg 0
medici2471 05.01.13 5:47pm
John Bishop told he can no longer use his surname unless he remains celibate 0
Ian Searle 05.01.13 4:38pm
Ian Searle
Swindon resident turns garden into lucrative toll road

An 80 foot toll road has been opened by the Duchess of York, on a housing estate just outside Swindon. Featuring a shed, some petunias and a gnome with a fishing rod, the route shaves vital seconds...

Dawsons creek 05.01.13 3:11pm
Fearing reprisals, Belfast man still refuses to take down Jubilee bunting 0
medici2471 05.01.13 3:09pm
Retired German brothers restore V2 rocket

Two brothers from Berlin with an interest in WW2 technology have successfully restored a V2 rocket. The projectile, which features hydrogen power, a primitive guidance system and 200 kilos of high...

Dawsons creek 05.01.13 2:02pm
Facebook page fails to end all human suffering

A page set up on social media site asking members to 'click like for world peace' has not saved the planet despite reaching 5,000 likes in three days. With news coverage becoming ever...

Hooch 05.01.13 1:47pm
'Bashing the gay bishop' not a euphemism say COE

More coming soon...

Psycadelic Squirrel 05.01.13 1:35pm
Police arrest everyone as Google reveal those who searched 'paedophile' in 2012. 0
MADJEZ 05.01.13 12:12pm
Man seeking handsome plant surprised to wake up in Leeds Hospital 6
Yikes 05.01.13 10:49am
Dick Everyman
"Up to" twenty Bishops opt out of child benefit. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 05.01.13 10:36am
Al OPecia
Red Bull drinker in grouse shooting tragedy 0
Dick Everyman 05.01.13 9:07am
Dick Everyman
Comedy starved inmates ask police to arrest a funny comedian

The prospect of sharing a cell with Jim Davidson or Freddie Starr has failed to excite Britain’s prison population, who were hoping that someone funny like Michael McIntyre would be arrested....

Yikes 05.01.13 9:03am
Dick Everyman