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Jeremy Clarkson. 10
Al OPecia 3 years
The longer you live, the more likely you'll reach the age of 100 say experts. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Insurance company pays out after meerkat free gift causes house fire. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
New Zealand All Blacks questioned by Met over haka scandal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Smartphone addiction rising among thick people 2
Christopher Frost 3 years
World's most allergic man slams 'rubbish' hayfever sufferers 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A slight upturn in the weather has seen people all over the country, who didn’t play in the dirt enough as children, recommence sneezing, sniffling and discussing the pollen count. But Paul Masters...

Research shows 90% of ideas are derived from excrement from bulls 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Ed Miliband escapes jail after leaving Balls and Cooper in 40°C campervan 6
OllieP 3 years

Ed Miliband has admitted neglecting Ed Balls and his wife Yvette Cooper during their annual summer holiday in Carlisle after the two Labour politicians were left alone in the child-locked cab of a...

Clinton to launch new 'Fuck Off and Die' cards 1
Leeboy007 3 years

to be sent to bosses everywhere ( sorry bad day at work )...

After Hacking Claims Admitted, News International Return Leg to Heather Mills 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Obama asks birthday well-wishers to send cash instead of the usual gift vouchers 1
button 3 years

I used to love getting a 50p sellotaped into an envelope! Although i don't recall having a debt crisis when i was 6...

Scotland to get deep fried broadband. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Merseyside Police sack 5 Officers for 28.8 actions leading to gross misconduct 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more later...

Camden drug dealer declares bankruptcy 0
Leeboy007 3 years

now his best client has passed away...

"MPs are sexual magnets" agrees Eric Pickles, whilst rubbing his nipples 0
thackaray 3 years
Last remaining cop not featured on TV makes Big Brother Bid (version 2) 2
button 3 years

PC Andrew Jenkins feels isolated amongst his colleagues as he is the only remaining police officer in the country not to feature in a fly on the wall documentary. “Thanks to brilliant and...

UN Declares Genocide "Bad" 1
Textbook 3 years

Brutal tyrants who wanted to purge their lands of hated ethnic minorities with the approval of the international community, had their hopes cruelly dashed when it was announced that after a long...

'Most valuable' plastic 2 litre bottle of cider sells for £7.50 0
jp1885 3 years
Hacking Heather Mills ‘wishful thinking’ says McCartney 0
jp1885 3 years
Newsbiscuit Accused Of Search Engine Baiting (Bieber Gaga Free Games Twilight) 11
Textbook 3 years

People, who could be teenaged Asian lesbians for all we know, have accused Newsbiscuit, described by its owner as the funniest website ever, of stuffing its articles with hot sexy phrases so as to...

Single man forced to extremes with ‘bomb on board’ sign 1
Screenie 3 years

A forty three year old single man, who would prefer to be called Geoff but isn’t, has been forced to go to a new high to prevent himself from being deliberately rammed off the road. When questioned...

Patient sues NHS when he finds liver he received came from Amy Winehouse 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Technology: Third of adults use smart phone, remainder still trying. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

Tap for more. No, the phone, you fucking idiot...

Rupert Murdoch replaced by Young Mr Grace as News Int seeks a hands on leader 2
ronseal 3 years

Young Mr Grace has been poached from Grace Brothers to run news International, after shareholders became concerned that Murdoch as too easy going. Many were appalled at Murdoch's humble demeanour and...

My phone was hacked too, says a tearful and indignant Levi Bellfield 0
ronseal 3 years
Holiday firm goes bust 0
greg various 3 years

rather than take fat, ugly, northern family on one of their planes...

Man Accused Of Homophobia Insists He Meant It Positively 0
Textbook 3 years

A Kent bar owner saw his establishment picketed by gay rights activists today after allegations emerged that he had called a same-sex couple holdings hands "cocksuckers". Bar owner Paul Offley...

Kent Man Wins "Obscure Band Naming" Bee 4
Textbook 3 years

Independent record store clerks from around the world gathered somewhere (if you need to ask where, it means you're not cool enough to be told) today for one of the hottest dates on the music...

El Bulli to re-open as more accessable Bulli4U 7
beau-jolly 3 years

More? You want MORE!...

Whitehouse seeks $14 trillion payout from NoTW for phone hacking 1
charlies_hat 3 years