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Rome in uproar as volcano obliterates middle-class Pompeii

Pompeii could have been saved from the magma waves if the authorities had done more to protect its buildings than stack piles of surplus slaves up in front of the doors, local residents claimed...

SuburbanDad 12.02.14 10:34am
'Character education' may produce more George Osbornes fear

Character education in schools runs the danger of producing more people like George Osborne, educationalists warn. Shadow education secretary Tristram Hunt is to call for character to be taught in...

roybland 12.02.14 10:26am
Dignitas criticised for offering reduced rates to coach parties 5
sydalg 12.02.14 10:21am
No No Feckin No
Hole appears on M2: Highways Agency looking into it 0
james_doc 12.02.14 10:08am
Andreas Wank sick of jokes about his name - changes it to Brian Wank 0
Yikes 12.02.14 9:59am
University Boat Race to be a Straight Line Dash.

"as the crow swims"...

BewsNiscuit 12.02.14 9:25am
LibDem split to make no difference at all

The Liberal Democrat party has been rocked to its foundations by a grass roots revolution, resulting in the formation of a splinter group called "The Real Liberal Democrats." Political commentators...

GingerClive 12.02.14 9:20am
University boat race to include London, Surrey, Reading, Bath, Southampton...

Organisers of this year's University Boat Race have been forced to open it up to teams from any university in the south of England., A spokesman said that due to weather conditions, the Thames has...

John Wiltshire 12.02.14 9:06am
John Wiltshire
Eric Pickles available for private apologies

Agents representing Eric Pickles have announced that he is now available to apologise to anyone for anything. In a press release, they said: 'For a nominal charge, Mr Pickles will personally...

John Wiltshire 12.02.14 8:43am
John Wiltshire
Environment Agency begs athletes to stop ‘coming out’

As further storms are expected to hit the UK, paranoid homophobes of all political persuasions are launching a concerted campaign to stop the ‘flood of sexual liberation’. Aerial footage along...

Wrenfoe 12.02.14 8:41am
HMRC calls for canine crackdown after 700,000 tax returns 'eaten by the dog' 1
pere floza 12.02.14 8:23am
People of Homs offer flood sanctuary to Berkshire residents 0
Sinnick 12.02.14 8:06am
Church moves to recognise women who believe a load of old bollocks

The Church of England has approved legislation which could see women who believe a load of old bollocks hold the same position in the Church as men who believe a load of old bollocks. Lois Haslam, a...

roybland 12.02.14 7:27am
Cars To Start Towing Open-Top Trailers With Patio Heaters, For Smokers 0
Titus 12.02.14 3:49am
Scotland Looks Forward To Independence With More Landmass Than England 0
Titus 12.02.14 3:23am
Britain's Tourism Future Uncertain, With More Coastline But Less Landmass 0
Titus 12.02.14 3:22am
Britain Cut Off From Rest Of World By floods

Well, except for a couple of bumpy bits at the top and over on the left...

Titus 12.02.14 3:19am
Riverboat residents welcome new Thames-Wye express link 0
sydalg 12.02.14 3:06am
"Beware of Doge" signs appearing in Somerset 0
sydalg 12.02.14 1:14am
Cameron appoints Judge Dredge to investigate causes of Somerset floods 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 11.02.14 11:40pm
Thames dredged overnight to reduce threat to homes of the rich.

Somerset to be dredged whenever convenient. "We left a note, but they haven't got back to us. We're not sure if there was anyone at home"...

deskpilot3 11.02.14 10:59pm
Government vows to curb flooding with immense stable door

The gate-like mechanism works much like an ordinary stable door, except substituting floodwater for the horse, with the door effectively 'blocking' the floodwater, or horse - ensuring of course that...

Adrian Bamforth 11.02.14 10:57pm
Cameron to spend "whatever it takes" to get re-elected. 0
deskpilot3 11.02.14 10:56pm
Datchet to be twinned with Venice, says British Tourist Board. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.02.14 10:54pm
North London Fairtrade Sand-bag shop wins Retailer of the Year 2012

A shop that supplies bespoke bags of fairtrade sand to North London home-owners who fear flooding has won Retailer of the Year for a record third year in a row. "Residents of Hampstead and Primrose...

The Bogs 11.02.14 10:44pm
Waitrose in Berkshire & Surrey to stock bags of Organic Fair-Trade Sand.

Not like that working-class Tesco Value stuff they're using in the West Country....

MADJEZ 11.02.14 10:40pm
Floods: Ex gang members flee country after fears of rivers being dredged.

Scores of retired gang members and nightclub bouncers are fleeing the country after the environment agency debates dredging rivers of flood hit areas. One ex gang member who did not want to be named...

carlosmanwelly 11.02.14 10:28pm
Blizzards Expected After Local Authorities Sell Off Snowploughs To Buy Lifeboats 0
Titus 11.02.14 10:21pm
Isle Of Wight Cut Off By Floods 0
Titus 11.02.14 10:03pm
Cameron promises grateful nation 'your money is no object' 1
Squudge 11.02.14 10:03pm
sponge finger