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Luke Skywalker censures Daily Mail for slur against his father

In an escalating war of words, Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker has threatened legal action against the Daily Mail for what he alleges are ‘pejorative’ and ‘slanderous’ representations of his late...

Mary Evans 07.10.13 2:29pm
New encryption algorithm adds a request for money to start of any document 0
Dumbnews 07.10.13 2:15pm
English Heritage to launch Stonehenge Windows Tablet

Lintel inside...

Flugelbinder 07.10.13 1:59pm
African refugees warned not to rock the boat. More soon. 11
dominic_mcg 07.10.13 1:31pm
John Wiltshire
America excited by plans for Lewinsky blowjob re-enactment...

Plans are in place for Monica Lewinsky to re-fellate Bill Clinton in the Oval Office of the White House. As they reel from one political disaster to another, the American people are looking forward...

Tripod 07.10.13 1:06pm
Nick Clegg promoted to Minister for Tartan Paint 0
exigo 07.10.13 12:44pm
Al-Qaeda Perfectionists branch off to form Anal-Qaeda

More detailed planning soon...

Flugelbinder 07.10.13 12:05pm
US Federal Restart Sequence leaked

In anticipation of the impending restart of the US Federal Government, the revised sequence to be used by the President has been leaked on pastebin. These instructions must be carefully followed...

rogerg 07.10.13 12:01pm
Unemployed man who wanted to work shot by Daily Mail assassin

A Doncaster man who was heard overtelling a friend that although he was unemployed he was desperate to find work, has been shot by a masked man identified as a Daily Mail paid assassin. The man's...

John Wiltshire 07.10.13 12:01pm
Greenpeace activists regret embracing International Talk Like A Pirate Day 1
Midfield Diamond 07.10.13 10:50am
Midfield Diamond
Cash-strapped church succumbs to organ failure 0
sydalg 07.10.13 10:43am
Old Testament did hatchet job on my dad, says Jesus 0
sydalg 07.10.13 10:43am
Hopeless old has-been voted off Strictly...

and Tony Jacklin goes too. (This has received nul points from the jury)...

John Wiltshire 07.10.13 10:39am
John Wiltshire
Cameron Orders Hunt......

.Not to venture out at Hallowe'en. Might scare the patients...

Jesse Bigg 07.10.13 10:02am
Jesse Bigg
Thank You, Thank You, Daily Mail....

For your wonderful upstaging of Cameron's speech last week. Hands up who can remember it. Hunt, maybe?...

Jesse Bigg 07.10.13 9:38am
Embarrassed Tory MP's Ask Scientists To Devise A Permanent Fog Up North....

"Job famine? Where?" "Plenty down south. Got the rent money, son?"...

Jesse Bigg 07.10.13 9:36am
Jesse Bigg
Following the opening ceremony, Putin announces winners of 2014 Winter Olympics 0
John Wiltshire 07.10.13 8:46am
John Wiltshire
Discovered: Rare colour pictures of Paul Dacre at his Swiss mountain retreat

They show a man relaxed and at ease, despite the terrible divisions he would attempt to inflict across Europe just a few days afterwards. These rare photographs of Paul Dacre, some of them showing...

nickb 07.10.13 6:58am
US praise Syria for lesson in how to murder population and get away with it. 0
MADJEZ 07.10.13 6:35am
Senior bankers now remunerated by "bank card fraud"....

Not only tax free to the recipient, but also tax deductible for the bank. Result!...

deskpilot3 06.10.13 10:04pm
Corrections: The story "God punishes schools failing in RE" should, of course,..

have read "Gove punishes schools failing in RE". An understandable mistake...

deskpilot3 06.10.13 10:02pm
Jonathan Ross chucks out Bonsai collection describing it as "a little twee" 0
Smart Alex 06.10.13 9:02pm
Smart Alex
Grammarians appalled for third year running at "Strictly Come Dancing". 0
Maverick 06.10.13 7:39pm
Four-eyed fuckwit Michael Gove defends Mail’s ‘right to offend’ - 2 43
cinnahmon 06.10.13 7:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Jack Wilshere lights up the Hawthorns with Lucky Strike... 2
Tripod 06.10.13 6:45pm
Glasto tickets sell out as Justin Beiber confirms he won't be playing 0
custard cream 06.10.13 5:37pm
custard cream
MP claims 3p for 100m car trip

Hang on, it's true

Ref Minor 06.10.13 5:29pm
Ref Minor
Kids have no knowledge of Swedish first names. They don't know they're Bjorn. 1
Kramaring 06.10.13 4:53pm
Januzaj double; Old Trafford superstore fresh out of Js

More Js soon...

Artisan 06.10.13 4:42pm
Teenage suicide 'totally worth it', says Isle of Wight

Amid calls for a 'suicide audit' on the IoW, one set of parents have bucked the trend of trying dissuade their son from 'taking one for the Reaper'. Mr & Mrs Doemungle of Appuldurcombe insist...

Wrenfoe 06.10.13 1:38pm