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Bowel specialist's romance began on Faecesbook 3
Underconstruction 09.05.12 12:27am
Dumbnews
Bin Laden papers show a man frustrated at getting shot in the head

Newly released papers from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout reveal a leader living in fear of the ‘mad skillz’ of the US Navy SEALs and struggling to control an unruly network, the US military says....

3
08.05.12 11:25pm
Yikes
On his 86th Birthday, Sir David Attenborough announces plans

for a new series entitled "Life in the Toilet" Filming will start in and around Wigan later on this year...

0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:01pm
Bismarck
Tally-ban to outlaw counting under sharithmatic law

There attempts to integrate poorly-derived religious verse into counting is madness" exclaimed one local shop keeper, Qu'dratic, "it just doesn't add up"...

0
quango 08.05.12 10:40pm
quango
Man who thinks he is A A Gill 'in critical condition' 1
MrBen 08.05.12 9:42pm
Scroat
Weatherman admits that hurricane rumour was a wind-up 0
MrBen 08.05.12 9:35pm
MrBen
Curry cancer cure put to the test as first patients undertake Keema Therapy.

Had to be done...

14
wallster 08.05.12 9:18pm
kga6
Businessman says 'No Deal' to Rangers after opening blues books 2
charlies_hat 08.05.12 9:18pm
MrBen
Runaway lovers Mr Cymbal and Miss Drums commit suicide at Beachy Head

Kerbumtish...

0
JohnA 08.05.12 6:49pm
JohnA
Dignitas disapointed by lack of response to customer service questionnaire 1
Iamthestig 08.05.12 5:52pm
dvo4fun
British Boxers announce coalition inspired '12 rounds of kiss and make up'

Following their now infamous press conference which saw scenes that disturbed those who looked on and drew criticism from many saying they brought their profession into disrepute, Cameron and...

1
Perks 08.05.12 5:44pm
dvo4fun
Wooden Bygones boat includes Ed Miliband and Andy Carroll

An Olympic celebration boat launched today includes in its construction a host a wooden artefacts. These include a sliver of Jimi Hendrix's guitar, passed OK by Police sniffer dogs and the arborial...

6
dvo4fun 08.05.12 5:38pm
kga6
Dinosaur Extinction caused by extreme IBS claim experts

Experts have finally discovered the main cause of the end of the dinosaurs and were surprised to discover that it was due to a global pandemic of Irritable Bowl Syndrome. Professor Mike Smith and his...

0
Immunis 08.05.12 5:15pm
Immunis
Curry cancer cure turns Birmingham into Europe's healthiest city

more later...

0
Scronnyglonkle 08.05.12 3:23pm
Scronnyglonkle
Barber of Seville found guilty of grooming 0
cinquecento 08.05.12 3:09pm
cinquecento
Cameron promises no let up in tough decisions on Nick Clegg 0
cinquecento 08.05.12 3:05pm
cinquecento
French and Greek Dyslexics reject Austin Healy measures

And Belgian voters look set to reject Ostende territory measures...

0
Ian Searle 08.05.12 2:24pm
Ian Searle
Bottle of Daddies Sauce fails paternity test

After appearing on The Jeremy Kyle Show with a right Nutella...

0
Ian Searle 08.05.12 2:23pm
Ian Searle
World’s most fickle football fan poised to celebrate another title

Manchester man Jeremy Clode moved across town, bought a Manchester City shirt, hat, and scarf, and learnt the words to "Blue Moon", in anticipation of this weekend’s exciting conclusion to the...

6
Yikes 08.05.12 2:17pm
button
Cable’s “Liz Hurley moment” steals show as Dave and Nick renew vows

Business Secretary Vince Cable was at the centre of controversy after stealing the limelight at his bosses’ re-commitment ceremony by turning up in a daring Versace number which left little to the...

0
grumblechops 08.05.12 2:04pm
grumblechops
MI5 discovers Miliband's leadership in locked holdall

In a bizarre turn of events, and MI5 spooks-person has disclosed the recent discovery of Ed Miliband's leadership inside a red holdall bag, "locked from the inside". Agents became concerned after...

0
ibamo 08.05.12 1:01pm
ibamo
Scientists successfully neutralise Jim al-Khalili

Scientists today revealed that they have managed to control the spread of the BBC Science guru Jim al-Khalili by the application of Jim al-Khalacid - rendering him impotent with a neutral ph of zero....

5
MaverickRat 08.05.12 12:56pm
Al OPecia
New Health and Safety fears as expert warns underwear bombs may contain nuts 0
MrBen 08.05.12 12:54pm
MrBen
Clegg and Cameron deny renewing vows always sure sign of extramarital affair 0
button 08.05.12 12:39pm
button
Newsbiscuit contributor fails to read previous postings 0
bonjonelson 08.05.12 11:53am
bonjonelson
London Zoo reports 200 monkeys" furiously working " on relaunch of coalition 0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:25am
Bismarck
Argentine Olympic Football team invited to train on Falklands Mine Fields. 10
Al OPecia 08.05.12 11:24am
Al OPecia
"Are you playing with your detonator" becomes new Gay catchphrase 0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:23am
Bismarck
Shamed medium Derek Acorah to resurrect Bernard Manning during

ironic Black Mass...

0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:21am
Bismarck
"Johnny Fartpants" special edition marks launch of Viz in Yemen 0
Haywood Manley 08.05.12 11:19am
Haywood Manley