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Confusion as Scrap Dealer Arrives at Pearly Gates

St Peter returns from office after checking dealer's eligibilty for admission, to find gates missing...

Titus 01.02.13 2:46pm
Pfizer's New Windows 8 Tablets: Fast Boot Up But Auto Shutdown After 1 Hour.

Pfizer's New Windows 8 Tablets, launched this week at BETT, London, prove to be fast at booting up, but are equally quick to auto shutdown. "This has caused some embarrassment to say the least",...

foxinthewalls 01.02.13 2:09pm
sea birds covered in sticky substance.....

.. misprint...

Media pirate 01.02.13 2:07pm
Media pirate
Plans to '3d print' Abu Qatada to Jordan

Plans to '3d print' Abu Qatada to Jordan have been contested on the grounds that materials used will have been extracted by use of torture...

Media pirate 01.02.13 2:06pm
Media pirate
Beyonce to lip sync-new generation odour-eater commercials

Allegedly the voice-overs will be actual performances, using sophisticated audio visual peograms to throw out the lip-syncre-creating the magic of the original TV classic...

Media pirate 01.02.13 1:56pm
Media pirate
Rubbish bin collector seeks new hobby 3
Psycadelic Squirrel 01.02.13 1:53pm
Rebecca to replace Samantha in radio panel game 2
nickb 01.02.13 1:45pm
Cumbria rejects Bond villain’s plan for underground bunker...

Brian Horden, Chief Planning Officer for Cumbria County Council, has turned down a planning application by evil genius, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, to build an underground bunker beneath the mountains of...

Tripod 01.02.13 12:56pm
Charity shop alert: Boxers and briefs may contain traces of nuts 2
weematt 01.02.13 12:31pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Alex Reid issues Watermelon warning

In an open letter to "Fruit and Veg Lovers Weekly", sex-dungeon dweller and noted cross-dresser, Alex Reid has issued a stark warning to those contemplating the purchase of Watermelons. "If you've...

webcast 01.02.13 11:53am
Dick Everyman
Sperm whale earwax and ambergris blamed for Dorset seabird disaster 0
simonjmr 01.02.13 11:32am
Burger scandal. Dressage schools responsible for mincing horses. 0
weematt 01.02.13 10:59am
Glue industry in crisis as Burger King releases new 'Flame Grilled Trotter'

Have it your neigh...

kimllfixit 01.02.13 9:53am
Prince keeps being hit with drum sticks since changing his name to cymbal.

1990's topical!...

One Line Only 01.02.13 9:53am
One Line Only
New Agency Created to Supervise Independent Police Complaints Commission

"IPCCcom" - which in turn will be answerable to the IPCCcom Supervisory Authority., (More, indefinitely )...

Titus 01.02.13 9:20am
Argentina Object to Presence of British Representatives at Falklands Discussions

In fact, object to the presence of anyone except members of the ruling Argentine "Front for Victory" and "Judicialist" parties...

Titus 01.02.13 9:13am
Uproar among Top Gear viewers as unlikely race results in clear winner

Fans of the popular BBC car-based entertainment show Top Gear have complained in their hundreds after the first episode of the new series saw a race across the Sahara desert fail to produce the sort...

Vertically Challenged Giant 01.02.13 1:20am
The All New Jeni B
Traces of meat found in poor people's diet says IDS

Minute traces of meat have been found in some meals consumed by poor people, according to the Department of Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith. Mr Smith said he had long suspected that...

roybland 01.02.13 1:16am
Film Review; Cling best for covering food 0
One Line Only 01.02.13 12:49am
One Line Only
Developing news; Jessops snapped up 0
One Line Only 01.02.13 12:47am
One Line Only
Pet shop chain introduces bark codes

More to follow...

apepper 01.02.13 12:07am
Tesco press releases "29% shit". 0
deskpilot3 01.02.13 12:05am
Lib Dems sign Eric Pickles in deadline day swoop.

In the transfer day frenzy, the signature of Eric Pickles stood out as the biggest signing of the day. Pickles will move to the Lib Dems for an undisclosed fee with David Laws moving in the...

reforse 01.02.13 12:04am
A big Buckinghamshire thumbs-up for HS2

Cumbria County Council's decision not to allow the construction of a storage bunker for radioactive waste in the county has led to a Government decision to build the nuclear waste facility at an...

EditorJohn 31.01.13 7:36pm
Fake Tan Man Cameron Wows The Libyans On Arrival......

"If London is that hot, he's one of us!"...

Jesse Bigg 31.01.13 7:29pm
Real Queen "Been Dead for ages" Admits Palace Spokesman

"Of course Mummy is dead" said the spokesman, who refused to be identified. "If she were still alive she would be er, I don't know, one supposes proably about 103 by now, and certainly wouldn't be...

Titus 31.01.13 6:32pm
Beckham, Senior, Arrives....

in poser land...

Jesse Bigg 31.01.13 5:48pm
Jesse Bigg
Ticketmaster trials new system that asks 'Are you sure you're human?' 0
custard cream 31.01.13 5:43pm
custard cream
Harry Redknapp injured trying to force transfer window to stay open 0
custard cream 31.01.13 5:40pm
custard cream
Cameron arrives in Libya just as Govt. advises all Brits to leave 0
custard cream 31.01.13 5:36pm
custard cream