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Annie Lennox found alive and well in hotel bathtub

Tributes to the hugely popular recording artist Annie Lennox were pouring in last night after she was found lying in approximately eighteen inches of lukewarm bathwater, apparently none the worse for...

Gary Stanton 18.04.12 10:12pm
Damien Hirst delights art world with 'Giant Greggs Pasty in Cameron's botty'

Celebrated artist Damien Hirst has unveiled what he believes to be a "True dovetailing of northern and southern britain" in his new work "Giant Greggs pasty shoved up David Cameron's botty" and which...

antharrison 18.04.12 8:37pm
The evidence: Simon Cowell not full of Shit

Extracts from Tom Bowyer's forthcoming unauthorised biography have revealed that Simon Cowell is addicted to daily Colonic irrigation treatments. A source close to Cowell stated that the problem had...

newdave 18.04.12 8:36pm
Sex act ponders name change to avoid confusion with Austrian village 0
Yikes 18.04.12 8:30pm
Tibetan monks protest at high cost of petrol 2
Mandy Lifeboat 18.04.12 8:22pm
Isle of Wight "falling into information black hole".

Al OPecia 18.04.12 7:49pm
Al OPecia
Agitated Juan Carlos abdicates owing to 'Elephant in the Tomb' 0
pinxit 18.04.12 6:06pm
King Juan Carlos misses elephant, shoots himself in the foot. 0
yussle 18.04.12 5:51pm
Spain Strikes Back following Argentina’s Annexing of Oil Company

Spain has today told Argentina to stop using Spanish as it’s language of choice (or give back the shares it has stolen YPF - the oil company owned by Repsol). They have until midnight to make...

HenryMJUK 18.04.12 5:41pm
London ready for 2013 Olympics claims government

More follows next year...

apepper 18.04.12 5:29pm
Mensa introduce associate member category “Lensa” for very attractive simpletons

In a move publically stated to be to combat elitism, but privately acknowledged to be to increase their chances of getting a date, Mensa has created an associate member category called “Lensa”...

Yikes 18.04.12 5:25pm
Juan Carlos tries to blame Ashley Giles. 'It was King of Spin.' he protests. 0
weematt 18.04.12 5:02pm
Olympic motto revealed: "London 2012 costing too much"

The BBC pretty much wrote that for me...

grumblechops 18.04.12 4:41pm
Council declares 6-yard box at Stamford Bridge as no parking zone

Més sobte...

Ado 18.04.12 4:29pm
"Bog It Up" Home Secretary, May, Heads To Heathrow Again.....

To do 'tick, tack, toe' on some poor sucker immigration officer...

Jesse Bigg 18.04.12 4:12pm
Jesse Bigg
“Stroke turned me into Deputy PM” - Clegg

DEPUTY Prime Minister Nick Clegg told last night's BBC documentary “I Woke Up With Dave” how a stroke he suffered two years ago propelled him to power., He said: “I was with some other LibDem...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 4:05pm
Italian museum director's suspected heart attack revealed to be just 'art burn' 0
Screenie 18.04.12 3:54pm
Employment Minister: Give a 'hoodie' your job. More soon 1
Old Hat 18.04.12 3:30pm
Boffins in tasteless gag breakthrough

Scientists say they have perfected a computer which can establish precisely how soon after the death of a celebrity it is acceptable to make a tasteless joke at their expense., A team from the...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 3:13pm
Dave Should Go To Euros Says Mate

After scoring the winning goal in the local Seven a side pub finals Dave’s mate has made the case for him to lead the line for England this summer. It continued his fine form this season, the peak...

Hooch 18.04.12 2:57pm
Minister in hot water for boiling a homophobic swede. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 18.04.12 2:46pm
Al OPecia
Onlookers horrified at Jim Davidson's cake on Sweedish Master Chef 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 2:41pm
London 2012 Games motto revealed: 'Our logo still looks utter shite' 0
pinxit 18.04.12 2:37pm
Government to excile Boris Johnson to Spain for period of 2012 Olympics 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 2:35pm
Robert Mugabe in ‘racist cake’ controversy

Robert Mugabe is facing hushed whispers to step down after he was photographed cutting a cake in the form of naked Swedish culture minister, Lena Adelsohn. The incident involving Mr Mugabe happened...

Old Hat 18.04.12 2:27pm
Old Hat
BBC hopes for summer ratings winner with "Underwater Masterchef" 0
Nails UK 18.04.12 1:52pm
Nails UK
Doctors unite to fight obesity with ridicule

Organisations representing nearly every doctor in the UK have come together to promote ridicule as the most effective measure in combating obesity. Royal Medical Colleges spokesman Prof Terence...

Mandy Lifeboat 18.04.12 1:47pm
Nails UK
'Run faster you bastards' revealed as 2012 Olympic motto 1
jp1885 18.04.12 1:39pm
Abu Qatada can't be deported until "Homeland" series ends, says Euro-Court

Home Secretary, Theresa May's latest attempt to deport radical preacher Abu Qatadar, has failed after it was blocked by the European Court of Human Rights. Qatadar's lawyers lodged their appeal with...

Hideous 18.04.12 1:36pm
Food poisoning epidemic traced to Guardian's 'Keep Clam And Carry On' feature

.., .. hat tip to jp1885 on a parallel track....

cinquecento 18.04.12 1:33pm