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Brussels reject closer ties with Christmas after pressure from Turkey

It would be like chocolate entering into a bilateral free trade agreement with Easter, he gobbled...

0
errm 10.12.13 2:11pm
errm
Nigella's next book to be called Speed cooking 2
davetwojackets 10.12.13 1:45pm
davetwojackets
Independent Scotland to fund armed forces by telethon - Salmond 0
errm 10.12.13 1:40pm
errm
3D printer used to create plastic psychopath

The world's first gun-toting maniac created using 3D printer technology has been publicly unveiled and will be released into the community next week. The synthetic psycho is the brainchild of...

2
Ludicity 10.12.13 1:08pm
Midfield Diamond
Ministry of Stating the Blindingly Obvious to be regulated by OffCourse 5
Sinnick 10.12.13 12:31pm
Wrenfoe
Royal wedding dress designer finishes runner-up in celebrity jungle affair

David Emanuel, the man who designed Princess Diana's wedding dress, has lost out to Westlife's Kian Egan in the ITV show 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here'. Emanuel, who designed Princess Diana's...

2
Robopop 10.12.13 12:30pm
Wrenfoe
10,000 men either up, down or neither says Grand Old Duke of York Reseearch

A new study involving 10,000 men has reached startling conclusions about modern masculinity. The report - Genderquake: Are Men in Crisis? - was the biggest marching-based study of its kind to be...

0
ronseal 10.12.13 12:00pm
ronseal
Alcoholism gives Comic Relief a Red Nose

Not content with alleviating famine in Ethiopia, British charities have donated much needed financial aid to struggling Smirnoff manufacturers and lovers of Guinness. Without your £3 a month, a...

0
Wrenfoe 10.12.13 11:36am
Wrenfoe
Football agents defend thuggish clients as ‘not bent, just thick’

Following recent accusations of players deliberately getting yellow and red cards in betting scandals, the representatives of footballers with poor disciplinary records have issued a joint statement...

0
Midfield Diamond 10.12.13 11:01am
Midfield Diamond
Panic at NSA as Ed Snowden reveals Obama's Christmas Present List

America's international relations were in turmoil last night as Ed Snowden released a list of presents President Obama is intending to give other leaders around the world this Christmas. In a...

0
james_patching_1 10.12.13 10:16am
james_patching_1
Weather alert: colossal cyclone of cuntage converging on Soweto 1
Kevin the Swan 10.12.13 9:55am
AReader
Witness In Bestiality Trial Allegedly Tweeted "He's Behind Ewe". 0
Titus 10.12.13 8:50am
Titus
Childhood not miserable enough, so more complusory sport to be imposed 0
Titus 10.12.13 8:46am
Titus
Prickly Vegitation To Be Banned From Homes Under New Elfin Safety Regulations

Alternative proposal: legal requirement to fit a small protective cork on the tip of each individual holly spike. Manufacturers of small protective corks deny lobbying. "This is a serious issue"...

0
Titus 10.12.13 8:43am
Titus
Opinions expressed online do not match up with reality says new online poll 1
Dumbnews 10.12.13 8:19am
Titus
panorama gunning for Comic Relief as charity invests in arms trade 0
davetwojackets 10.12.13 8:04am
davetwojackets
Grukip Coalition Predicted To Form Next Government

Polls show that voters increasingly hate the major politcal parties and prefer politicians from organisations which are merely delusional pressure groups and not real parties at all. On this basis...

0
Titus 09.12.13 11:53pm
Titus
Half of England cricket team given time off to grieve their former President.

More soon now its in the right room !...

2
MADJEZ 09.12.13 10:41pm
Ref Minor
Footballer Admits Taking Money To Influence Outcome Of Match

Star football forward Garry Hacker, speaking by mobile 'phone from the wheel of his gold-plated Bugatti, admitted yesterday that he had allowed money to affect his performance on the pitch, but...

1
Titus 09.12.13 10:33pm
godly1966
Workers Freed From 364-Day Slavery In North Pole Workshop

Elderly white-bearded man arrested...

1
Titus 09.12.13 10:31pm
godly1966
Archbishop of Canterbury announces infanticide to bring back real spirit of Xmas 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 09.12.13 10:13pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Mandela funeral cortege - world tour dates announced 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 09.12.13 10:03pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Universal Credit to be exported to Mars

Ian Duncan Smith has unveiled plans to make the benefits system truly universal by exporting it to Mars. The Department of Work and Pensions has been in secret talks with Imperial College London and...

0
Coco 09.12.13 9:52pm
Coco
Dark Night Park Opened In Northumberland….

….Trainee pickpockets first in...

0
Jesse Bigg 09.12.13 9:40pm
Jesse Bigg
England Faltering In OZ?…..

…..Short of Newcastle Broons, Man!...

0
Jesse Bigg 09.12.13 9:20pm
Jesse Bigg
I've seen some shit on telly but this is the worst by some margin

Need to keep watching to see if it declines further...

0
antharrison 09.12.13 9:03pm
antharrison
DJ Nicky Campbell denies any involvement in football despite arrest. 1
MADJEZ 09.12.13 8:33pm
raudus
World leaders begin to arrive for Paul Walker's funeral 0
custard cream 09.12.13 7:54pm
custard cream
DAILY EXPRESS: 'SUPER STORM HUNGRY FOR FLESH'

The Daily Express has urged the nation to 'brace itself' for a 'fucking massive storm'. A low pressure system is set to hit the UK coastline sometime in December and may last over Christmas and New...

3
Mr Orca 09.12.13 3:20pm
Mr Orca
Gareth Southgate announced as new world leader

We wanted JFK or Nelson Mandela and we got Gareth Southgate, say gospel singers...

0
farmer giles 09.12.13 3:09pm
farmer giles