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Brits scoop top awards at Brits Awards shock 0
Dickens or Shakespeare 22.02.12 7:17am
Dickens or Shakespeare
Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson Marionette Zombie Dance at Brits 'Too Soon'

A macabre and chilling tribute to the King and Queen of pop at tonight's Brits was deemed as 'too soon' by shocked audience members. A bizarre marionette system was set up over the lifeless zombie...

SimonJJames 22.02.12 1:38pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
ITV to interrupt next England game with rest of Adele's Brit Awards speech 0
exigo 21.02.12 11:01pm
Plate smashing outlawed in Greece, cup saucer quota now in place

Greek restaurant owners were shocked into silence yesterday when plate smashing was outlawed due to new austerity measures. In a further shock, already stunned restaurateurs were told that they could...

SimonJJames 22.02.12 1:28pm
Amoeba Agency splits into UK Border Agency 0
thackaray 21.02.12 10:33pm
Encouraging signs for economy as cost of lemons and batter go up 400% in a day. 3
MADJEZ 22.02.12 1:06pm
Shares slip in Greece 1
ianrbland 21.02.12 10:06pm
One in five Greek newborns to be given to Germany 0
hughesroland 21.02.12 9:50pm
Britain's binge drinking babies

"Once he starts on a bottle he just doesn't stop" said one mother when interviewed about this latest news issue. Jackie Shah explained further. "As soon as Nicky sees the bottle he gets very...

ianrbland 22.02.12 7:49am
Large wooden horse left outside the European Central Bank HQ 0
Gourd Almighty 21.02.12 9:35pm
Gourd Almighty
Strauss-Kahn sex-ring arrest, didn't reallise Prince Albert was illegal.

More painful headlines soon...

MADJEZ 21.02.12 9:20pm
Madonna wins five awards at the Grannies 1
bonjonelson 21.02.12 9:28pm
Haywood Manley
Sunderland Supporters Club sponsor St James's Park

There are mixed emotions in Newcastle tonight as it emerged that the Sunderland supporters club has agreed a seven figure sponsorship deal to rename St James's Park for the next 5 years. All funds...

grottymonty 21.02.12 9:13pm
Cameron's stylists 'stole my image' claims face drawn onto balloon

[More soon]...

dicky37 22.02.12 1:13pm
UK braced for another sixty years of royal good deeds

The UK is faced with sixty years of the Duchess of Cambridge performing good deeds warn royal watchers. On her third good deed engagement in a fortnight visiting a therapeutic art school in Oxford,...

roybland 21.02.12 8:20pm
Man caught on CCTV doing nothing sinister

Security guards were perplexed when, as they watched Mr. Arthur Bramhall of Chorley Wood on CCTV cameras he appeared to do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary for at least 40 minutes before they...

ianrbland 22.02.12 1:52pm
Midfield Diamond
Craig Whyte inducted into Celtic "Hall of fame" for services the the club....

"We had thought about naming one of our stands after him," said a club source, "but apparently, he's already very adept at getting those using other means."...

Jammydodgers 21.02.12 7:40pm
Strauss-Kahn now favourite for Daddies Sauce Father of Year and England Captain 0
ronseal 21.02.12 7:39pm
EU gets €2000 for Greece under country scrappage scheme. 0
MADJEZ 21.02.12 7:01pm
Strauss-Kahn: I did have sex with that woman. And that one. And that one. 0
hughesroland 21.02.12 6:50pm
Scientific breakthrough turns out to be animated movie sequel

Scientists at The Institute of Cell Biophysics were left red-faced today after their successful resuscitation of a 30,000 year old fruit plant turned out to be the latest instalment of animated...

lucas 21.02.12 11:31pm
Amateur photographer struggles with that difficult second album 0
Smart Alex 21.02.12 5:31pm
Smart Alex
Dame Vera Lynn receives nomination for best female singer at The Blitz awards 1
Smart Alex 22.02.12 1:15pm
Strauss-Khan facing a Ho's pipe ban in a matter of weeks 0
simonjmr 21.02.12 5:12pm
Abu Qatada to be awarded honorary membership of BNP.

"Let's face it" said a BNP spokesman, "when it comes to spreading hatred thinly veiled as religious dogma we have a lot to learn. Mr. Qatada has an entire government department gunning for him and he...

ianrbland 21.02.12 5:06pm
Other people definitely arseholes, say scientists

Scientists at the Public Research Institute of Clinical Knowledge believe they may have finally proved what many have long suspected, that other people are definitely arseholes. Lead author Dr John...

Teddy 23.02.12 11:52pm
Sunday Sun to close after element of truth found in lead article.

"Clearly this so called "element of truth" was included in error" said a spokesperson for N.I. "We are worried that it was obtained by methods not approved of at the Sun e.g. journalistic inquiry. We...

ianrbland 22.02.12 8:32pm
Puffins: Warning, may contain fish. 7
beau-jolly 21.02.12 11:28pm
Image of UK pop music in crisis as ginger bloke and fat girl sweep Brit Awards 4
charlies_hat 21.02.12 10:22pm
Now That's What I Call Music admit to artistic differences

during recording of that difficult eighty-second album...

Smart Alex 21.02.12 4:25pm
Smart Alex