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Aston Villa's new signing fait de complet 0
button 3 years

Its a given!...

I'm drunk, that's it, and I'll quit if I don't get f*cking get FP'd! 5
Dick Everyman 3 years

It's late in the evening and I'm one bottle of Cotes du Rhone down. My toys are officially out of my pram, I'm hacked off, pissed offed and Boris Karloffed. Who cares if I upset John O'Farrell (John...

Manchester International Festival. "Fooking shite,' explains local 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
iPhone survives fall from skydiver's pocket so there is a Silicon Heaven 0
Ostsee 3 years
Wetherspoons open 'The Cock and Bull' in Wapping 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Row breaks out over ITV's 'So you think you can flounce' tantrum show 7
3 years

ITV's latest reality TV show has been widely condemned as 'irresponsible' by industry insiders. 'So you think you can flounce' encourages bright new egos to throw a massive wobbler in front of a live...

After 15 knives are found in Sean Hoares back, A Judge calls it the worse 0
guffaw 3 years

case of suicide he has ever seen...

Islamic clerics reconsider necessity of Burqas after visit to Rio de Janeiro 2
Dumbnews 3 years
ITV to launch new Prime-Time Saturday Entertainment show.. 0
Bismarck 3 years

Hosted by ITV's "Mr Saturday night", Harry Hill, Youve Been Hacked will bring good old family entertainment back to Saturday night, 'We beleive we have found a real alternative to Strictly Come...

Londons 'B' Minus Commisioner, Draws Critcism 0
mugwump 3 years

David Cameron today confirmed that despite heavy criticism from Labour MP’s, prospective police cadet Frankie Cruz Johnson is to be the new Police Commissioner for London. The Prime Minister said...

Culture Secretary announces move to the countryside 0
writinginbsl 3 years
Mathematicians calculate that bruised apple in lunchbox travels the equivalent.. 0
writinginbsl 3 years

of one and a half times round the world in just a few weeks...

NB exclusive interview with Martine McCutcheon - The Face of Feminine Bloating. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon pass the Activia...

Boris Johnson will break with tradition and the next police commissioner will 0
guffaw 3 years

not be a complete tosser...

Neighbour cannot find words to describe the terrible coughing sounds of EX NOTW 0
guffaw 3 years

man before he succumbed...

Murdoch appearance before commons committee to be 'pay per view'. More soon. 1
red 3 years
Toyota announce new 4WD : Lange Lover 0
theumpire 3 years
Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane to be new chief of Metropolitan Police 5
FraserWords 3 years

Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane is to be the new Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police., The Home Office recruited the American officer, formerly chief of police in Hazzard County, Georgia, because his...

Giant pandas reclassified as useless 'pyjama cases'. 0
writinginbsl 3 years
Month related headlines attributed to time of the month 2
borednow 3 years

more period pains soon...

Health Chiefs to 'sanitize' Tour De France 7
f0zz 3 years

In the wake of a slew of horrific pile-ups at this year's flagship cycling event, concerned Health & Safety officials confirm that next year's Tour De France will take place on static flat-bed...

Professional cyclists wins ‘Campest Sports Apparel’ award for 23rd year. 0
be reasonable 3 years

This year, they had to beat off the squad of Stade Francaise rugby team and all the NFL...

Doc asks mum to be with furniture polish craving: How are your stools? 2
ronseal 3 years
BBC grudgingly concedes things other than NoTW scandal are still happening 6
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
The Jam to re-record 'News Of The World' as 'Phone Hacking Scum' 3
Leeboy007 3 years
‘I’ve always slept with a kangaroo head in my bed’ claims Cameron 0
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

David Cameron denied today that the discovery of a kangaroo head on his pillow this morning was anything to do with the wrath of a mysterious underworld figure known only as ‘M’, and was, in...

Professor Layton still unable to set video recorder 1
jp1885 3 years

Top-hatted mystery-solver extraordinaire, Professor Hershel Layton, has astounded fans of hand-hand console puzzle games by admitting that, despite his impressive track record in unravelling...

Rebekah Brooks allowed one phone hack in prison... 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Latitude to be re-named Longitude from 2012 6
Leeboy007 3 years
American man follows his dream and ends up in swimming pool full of kittens 5
ronseal 3 years

Like many Americans, New Jersey student Jim Gartner was determined to follow his dream. And now his perseverance has paid off, because yesterday he spent an eternity on a series of very tall...