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Tescos 'dead bird' campaign launches well- "everyone will want one" by Christmas 0
Username 3 years
Chinese disappointed by Clarkson-Panda swap 10
nickb 3 years

The arrivals of the Pandas Sweetie and Sunshine delighted the Scots. But the Chinese are said to be puzzled and a little saddened by the reciprocal arrival of a rare and temperamental British...

Survey finds most Facebook users think most stuff friends share is crap 0
Dumbnews 3 years
NHS being sold on Ebay is not a 'sick' joke 5
Perks 3 years

In a last gasp bid to fund the NHS, the nations most loved institution is to be auctioned off to the highest bidder on Ebay. It is hoped that the reserve price of £12.5 million will cover the cost...

Confusion as World of Warcraft Pandaren’s arrive at Edinburgh Zoo 0
Immunis 3 years

Officials at Edinburgh Zoo have admitted that they have been hoodwinked by an online gaming firm when the two Pandas they were expecting turned out to be a pair of World of Warcraft characters. It...

Osborne attack on Clarkson: “he’s not done enough to earn his unpopularity” 0
Aberdeen Correspondent 3 years

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, appeared genuinely angry in a TV interview at the weekend when asked about the unpopularity of Jeremy Clarkson. Mr Osborne was asked whether the...

BBC announce crackdown on annoying use of the annoying word 'crackdown' 2
dvo4fun 3 years
Ferrari sponsor 2012 UK Crash Map 0
medici2471 3 years
Nissan delighted by foreign car safety demonstration 0
medici2471 3 years
Premier Inn executive room mini-bars to feature mini lap-dancers 0
pinxit 3 years
Children's card games face snap inspections 0
nickb 3 years
Britain in Blame Supply Crisis 1
MT Bucket 3 years

The government has announced that Britain has for the first time experienced a critical shortage of blame. The commodity is usually widespread, especially amongst Politicians and readers of the Daily...

NHS Patients to Replace Lab Animals 0
MT Bucket 3 years

Anti-vivisectionists are torn tonight by the announcement by David Cameron that NHS Patients will have the right to get access to experimental drugs up to one year before they are available to the...

Study finds extreme viewpoints reveal more about the person than the issue 0
Dumbnews 3 years
New Japan appeal for 'deserving wealthy' after multiple Ferrari pile-up 0
pere floza 3 years
Prince of Wales arrested following stamp-licking 'incest' charge. 1
kimllfixit 3 years
HSBC to launch "dodgy bank product" insurance cover for only £9.99 a month 0
hansens-scar 3 years

High Street bank, HSBC, has launched a new insurance to protect investors from the cost of mis-sold financial products. Speaking at the launch of the product, known informally as "Vunera-buy" UK...

"Up to £25 Christmas tip quite legal" say Postal workers "But no cheques please" 2
dvo4fun 3 years

More later...

Essex fly-over unveiled as training location for Olympic shot-putters 1
hansens-scar 3 years

Sebastian Coe has hailed the preparations for next year's Olympics to be a great success after several "yoof" were seen throwing concrete blocks from motorway fly-overs. "We said we were going to...

Ofsted declare "Satisfactory" schools to be "Unsatisfactory" 1
hansens-scar 3 years

New head of Ofsted, Sir Michael Willishaw, has declared war on "coasting" schools by stating that Satisfactory is not satisfactory. In a similar twist of linguistic logic he has also ruled that...

' contemporary art goes missing' 1
artistnealehowells 3 years

'you could have swore it was there when i left, this was the statement that night watchman derek earthenware told police when there was a reported art theft at the tate modern last night, 'how on...

Security fears for MOD after list of their Secret Santas found left on a train 0
Ian Searle 3 years
EU downgrade turkey and chestnuts in an attempt to boost Brussels 0
apepper 3 years

Traditional Christmas dinner is under attack from the EU. They want turkey and the trimmings to be largely replaced by brussel sprouts...

Panda's 'very well' but hungover after first night in Edinburgh. 0
simonjmr 3 years
Kangaroo’s testicle wins I’m a Celebrity 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Viewers were left stunned when one of the meals from the Bush Tucker trials was voted 'King of the Jungle'...

BNP incensed as UK Border strikes fail to stop Chinese immigrants to Scotland 0
Ian Searle 3 years
NHS give go ahead to sharing patient records with Dr Frankenstien 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Carol Thatcher to play Meryl Streep in star biopic 1
nickb 3 years
Man dies trying to free new scissors from plastic packaging, without scissors. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Sex Offending Still Dominated By Men 2
Textbook 3 years

Women's Equality Groups around the world were dismayed yesterday by the release of new statistical information which reveals that only 4% of sex crimes are committed by women. Despite it being an...