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Big nose horn faced dinosaur discovered in the Conservative party

UK commentators have challeneged claims by scientists in Utah to have discovered a new breed of dinosaur, the imaginatively named 'Big nose horn faced dinosaur'. "This is not a new breed" a...

0
sillybugger 18.07.13 12:40pm
sillybugger
Pink or Blue? Delay Leaves Asian Teddy-Bear Factories Verging On Bankruptcy 1
Titus 18.07.13 12:31pm
Squudge
Fewer Criminals Arrested Following Reduction In Police Numbers

"Wahey!" said a spokesman for the Poice Federation "That means crime must have reduced er um doesn't it?"...

0
Titus 18.07.13 12:23pm
Titus
Call For No-Fly Zone

Never mind Syria - do you reckon NATO or the RAF could get rid of the flies round my home?...

1
Titus 18.07.13 12:15pm
Arthur
Crime detection getting easier says Daily Mail. 0
MADJEZ 18.07.13 12:10pm
MADJEZ
Blacks in Florida to be given right to bear grudges 9
sydalg 18.07.13 12:03pm
Arthur
Crime stats down, claims PR man for useless, corrupt, untrustable police force 1
ronseal 18.07.13 12:02pm
CulchaVulcha
Cricket: England win toss and elect to lose 0
John Wiltshire 18.07.13 11:56am
John Wiltshire
Homeopath, surprisingly, refuses to put life savings on 1000,000-to-1 horse 2
sydalg 18.07.13 11:50am
sydalg
Cat struggles to keep up insurance payments on nine policies 2
sydalg 18.07.13 11:45am
jimmydodger
UK butterflies at all-time low

Optimism amongst UK moths and butterflies is at an all-time low, according to a poll by IPSOS Mori. Lepidoptera across the country were asked for their views on living in Britain and the future for...

0
monkeyrepublic 18.07.13 11:25am
monkeyrepublic
Queen orders Kate to give birth immediately

In a leaked message today, it has emerged that the Queen has commanded Kate to give birth to something by the end of today. Her Majesty's message to Kate reads: 'As sovereign of the Commonwealth and...

3
John Wiltshire 18.07.13 10:58am
John Wiltshire
Al Fayed claims Prince Philip behind royal baby. 0
MADJEZ 18.07.13 10:36am
MADJEZ
Crime reporting down 7.8%

The Home Secretary today announced that the reporting of crime had dropped by 7.8% in the last year. Theresa May said today that she was very pleased with the way that people had stopped reporting...

0
John Wiltshire 18.07.13 9:56am
John Wiltshire
Vulnerable loser to be Alan Sugar's next opponent in Employment Tribunal

A handpicked sample of Britain' most unsavoury characters was finally distilled down last night, and one hapless victim was chosen to be Alan Sugar's next opponent in an employment tribunal. BBC1's...

0
ronseal 18.07.13 9:35am
ronseal
'Lazy & Incompetent' Thieves Blamed For Fall In Crime 1
Titus 18.07.13 9:11am
raudus
Audi deny their logo is based on cock rings

Yes it was one on those journey's into work...

5
Scronnyglonkle 18.07.13 8:35am
Dick Everyman
Government to set Up 'Offded' to Monitor NHS Quality Standards 0
Titus 18.07.13 8:23am
Titus
Nelson Madela Accused Of Bed Blocking

"Stop wasting our time" says hospital. "You're a great bloke and all that, but enough is enough. Either die or get out."...

1
Titus 18.07.13 7:46am
Wrenfoe
'Those doctors and nurses couldn't do enough for me' says dying NHS patient. 0
antharrison 18.07.13 5:46am
antharrison
New BA A380 Inspires Heathrow runway “double decker” plan

Not because it is easy, but because it is hard...

0
rogerg 17.07.13 9:38pm
rogerg
Gove announces schools to move to 24 hour opening

Schools minister Mr Michael Gove has announced another innovative strategy to improve the education system and to make more efficient use of all the high tech blackboards that are now white. All...

0
rogerg 17.07.13 9:37pm
rogerg
Lord Alan Sugar sued for unlawful dismissal

Business icon Lord Alan Sugar has sensationally been sued today for unlawful dismissal by a contestant on BBC One hit show The Apprentice. Monaco-based estate agent Myles Mordaunt, who felt the wrath...

0
Jesus H 17.07.13 9:11pm
Jesus H
'Blind Date' makers sue 'Apprentice' as candidate with sexier voice is selected. 0
The Last Detail 17.07.13 8:16pm
The Last Detail
Taliban says "sorry" to England's Primary Pupils

Adnan Rasheed has sent a heart felt apology to school children throughout England, saying he wished Michael Gove "had never happened" to them. Schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai has also expressed shock...

0
Wrenfoe 17.07.13 7:27pm
Wrenfoe
Michael Gove to make stupid children fight to the death

Education Secretary Michael Gove has unveiled controversial plans to make stupid eleven year olds fight to the death in arenas throughout England. The Minister believes the children's desire to...

5
andrewl81 17.07.13 3:33pm
Wrenfoe
Gardening implement sues for libel after being called a "dirty hoe" 0
sydalg 17.07.13 1:59pm
sydalg
Italy hit with dribbling helmet syndrome

In what should have been a celebratory week for Luca Parmitano, Italy's first spacewalker, the nation’s Centre for Disease Control was forced to issue a warning that cranium leakage was reaching...

2
Wrenfoe 17.07.13 1:37pm
Not Amused
Status Quo remain kidnapped after 34 years

Police admitted today that they are no nearer finding the whereabouts of Status Quo than they were 34 years ago, when they first went missing. Chief Superintendant Barry Hillier, who is leading the...

2
John Wiltshire 17.07.13 1:07pm
NewBiscuit
Man ‘angry’ as son comes 1,954,343rd in new ranking system

Dad of three Anthony Thomas has spoken of his anger today after he discovered his son, Michael, who he admits isn’t the sharpest spoon in the fridge, came an embarrassing 1,954,343rd in the UK’s...

2
Jesus H 17.07.13 1:04pm
sydalg