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Hitler was ‘a nice man who wouldn’t hurt a fly’ says Daily Mail

“What he did was simply a natural human vengeful reaction to being humiliated, but on a global scale” it asserted, before branding Ed and David Miliband ‘The Evil Marx Brothers’ in a 32-page...

0
farmer giles 03.10.13 6:00pm
farmer giles
Paul Dacre denies Yewtree claims that his father "had paedophile tendencies" 0
Ref Minor 03.10.13 5:38pm
Ref Minor
Qatar promises "White Christmas" for World Cup

Qatar will claim a first among Middle Eastern states with the promise of a white Christmas, to welcome the teams playing in the World Cup. The decision was ratified by the board of FIFA. They were...

1
nickb 03.10.13 5:37pm
nickb
Cameron: "From Now On, I'll Pronounce 'Proply' Properly" 0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 03.10.13 5:33pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Gove finally apologises as he is revealed as secret love child of Oswald Mosley 0
cinnahmon 03.10.13 5:03pm
cinnahmon
One Direction to break up in bid for career longevity

One Direction, the global music phenomenon, are said to be calling it quits soon, in an attempt to prolong their fleeting career. 'Every year there'll be a new unreleased track to excite fans,' a...

0
TobiasBV 03.10.13 4:40pm
TobiasBV
Mathematician’s Union expel Möbius for disgraceful behaviour in night club.

More soon., Hat tip to Areader...

4
FOAD 03.10.13 4:31pm
tonyhill
Man going to San Francisco refuses to wear flowers in his hair 0
custard cream 03.10.13 4:24pm
custard cream
Mail "should not apologise" for exhuming the corpse of Ralph Milliband says Gove 0
Ref Minor 03.10.13 4:12pm
Ref Minor
Noddy's Father Hated Toyland

The Daily Fairytale has revealed that Noddy's father, Bert Oak, despised Toyland regarding it as an authoritarian state propped up by the Plod Constabulary. He also advocated liberation for gollies...

6
paulo 03.10.13 3:55pm
Oxbridge
Humpty Dumpty Receives Golden Sixpence In Work-Related Injury Compensation

Gross negligence was cited as the cause of the fall that led to a record Golden Sixpence pay-off from all the King's Horse and all the King's Men today. The claimant, Humpty Dumpty, received the...

0
SimonJJames 03.10.13 3:34pm
SimonJJames
Sepp 'Brown Envelope' Blatter mystified: “Qatar hot in summer? Who knew?”... 1
Tripod 03.10.13 3:27pm
AReader
Man With No Television Puzzled By Lack Of Threatening Letters

Michael Wallace of Derbyshire, who has never owned a televion set, has stated that he is "worried and totally confused" by the fact that, for nearly a week now, he has not received one single letter...

2
Titus 03.10.13 3:08pm
AReader
Mathematician Who Complained Of His 'Complex' Life Is Told It's Mostly Imaginary

- perhaps a bit like his iPhone? If he bought the same 'phone twice, presumably he'd end up with -1 'phone...

0
Titus 03.10.13 3:04pm
Titus
Snooping husband discovers wife 'dull' and leaves

A paranoid husband of nine years from Kent has left his wife recently after snooping through her private computer, journals, and mobile, and finding that she is a deeply boring person. He says he'd...

6
TobiasBV 03.10.13 2:49pm
Titus
Right Angle Accused Of Arrogance

for claimimg that all other angles are wrong, and that many of them are obtuse - although conceding that at least one smaller one is a cute angle (Hat tip to Smart Alex)...

0
Titus 03.10.13 2:39pm
Titus
Irrational mathematician told to get real 1
Smart Alex 03.10.13 2:39pm
AReader
Relativity pioneer Albert Einstein "didn't know if he was coming or going" 0
AReader 03.10.13 2:37pm
AReader
Recently arrived Greek geometrist is the Euclid on the block 2
Smart Alex 03.10.13 2:35pm
AReader
'Locked' Mobile 'Phone Condemned As Anti-SIMitic.

Hat tip to sydalg...

1
Titus 03.10.13 2:34pm
Flugelbinder
German mathematician Felix Klein "mostly up his own arse" 4
AReader 03.10.13 2:32pm
AReader
Man Heading to Banbury Cross says "I ain't riding THAT!" 0
Flugelbinder 03.10.13 2:27pm
Flugelbinder
long lost 'half brother' turns out to be hermaphrodite

Having been told for years he had a long lost half brother, Greg Simmons was shocked to discover recently that he in fact shared [i]both [/i]parents with this 'half brother', but that the brother was...

1
MagicMike 03.10.13 2:26pm
Titus
Mathematician trips over square root sticking out of the erf 0
Smart Alex 03.10.13 2:20pm
Smart Alex
Sexual Discrimination is Rife claim ofice duo Polly and Sukey

"It's about time the men put the bloody kettle on!" said Polly, sick of being regarded as the 'best person for job', as hailed by her Line Manager. "I mean seriously, it's never 'Polly, can you...

0
Flugelbinder 03.10.13 2:17pm
Flugelbinder
Devon Sheep Theft - Bo Peep Accuses Mary

More soon....

0
Flugelbinder 03.10.13 2:09pm
Flugelbinder
Dr Foster Slams Gloucester on Trip Advisor 0
Flugelbinder 03.10.13 2:01pm
Flugelbinder
Zombie Father Of Ed Miliband Does Not Mention Hate of Britain, Loves Brains

In a striking twist to the Miliband / Mail row, the zombified father of Ed shuffled into the Daily Mail Offices yesterday confirming only his love of brains...

1
SimonJJames 03.10.13 1:55pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Sunderland FC unveil 606 phone-in regular as their new manager

The Sunderland Board announced today that, after conducting a long search, they had chosen long time 606 caller Darren Mcintyre as their new manager. Darren, 23, a lifelong Mackem, has been...

2
blacklesbianandproudofit 03.10.13 1:47pm
Tripod
Fish OK, but loaves not sliced, complains Galilee multitude 4
sydalg 03.10.13 12:50pm
SimonJJames