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Nick Clegg vows to wave his cock in Parliament after Cameron's wardrobe mishap

Not to be upstaged by David Cameron's wardrobe malfunction at a dinner in the Guidhall last night. Often overlooked Deputy Nick Clegg has vowed that he will retain the limelight from the flabby and...

simonjmr 13.11.12 9:51pm
'He touched me here and here and here' doll set to become Christmas best-seller.

A £9.99 doll is predicted to top the present list as the most sought after gift this Christmas, seeing off competition from the newly launched Call Of Duty 5 'Celebrity Jungle Warfare' and the John...

Underconstruction 13.11.12 9:45pm
Former SS Officer says Hitler was a Nazi piece of work 0
Underconstruction 13.11.12 8:40pm
"We tried to fix prices but couldn't" admits British Gas engineer

A British Gas repair man from Dudley has admitted that attempts to fix gas prices failed after a team of engineers were instructed to provide a false reading in February of 2011., The whistle-blower...

Underconstruction 13.11.12 8:01pm
Prince “not bonkers” claims Prince Notbonkers

Prince Notbonkers issued a tersely worded statement today claiming he is not bonkers. In addition, he said he “never makes clicking noises while playing Monopoly”, and that “he has never hurt...

nickb 13.11.12 7:25pm
Big bosomed lady with Dutch accent to feature in own Rob Stewart song

The big bosomed lady with the dutch accent, who famously tried to change your point of view, in Rod Stewart's song, You're in My Heart, is to star in her own ballad after audience reaction to the...

ronseal 13.11.12 7:25pm
New edition of Monopoly imposes 'unworkable regulatory burden' complains Banker 1
cinquecento 13.11.12 6:36pm
Jimmy Savile's secret identical twin spotted in Yorkshire

People across the UK are shocked to discover that disgraced TV presenter Jimmy Savile has a secret identical twin called Johny who lives in the Yorkshire Seaside town of Scarborough. 'He just...

antharrison 13.11.12 5:37pm
Abu Qatadar to launch new skin care range under the Jordan label

Amazing what years in solitary does for the complexion...

custard cream 13.11.12 5:26pm
Dick Everyman
CAMRA calls for ceasefire between the Real Ale RA and the Provisional Ale RA 1
simonjmr 13.11.12 5:21pm
Parasol and sunshade manufacturers get together to former umbrella group

That's it really...

custard cream 13.11.12 5:09pm
custard cream
BBC overwhelmed as thousands apply to be DG

The BBC has admitted it has received over 28,000 applications to become the new DG. "It's very gratifying", said Chairman of the BBC Trust, Chris Patton. "It shows real trust in the future of the BBC...

apepper 13.11.12 4:59pm
Digital CAMRA formed in Second Life 0
Not Amused 13.11.12 4:38pm
Not Amused
Confusion reigns as Scarecrow Festival and dress-down Friday overlap... 0
Tripod 13.11.12 4:22pm
CAMRA accuses lazy brewer of doing fake ale. 0
weematt 13.11.12 3:56pm
CAMRA member expelled for telling lies 2
charlies_hat 13.11.12 3:39pm
This won't change me one bit, says disgraced millionaire

A disgraced millionaire has claimed that hitting the jailpot won't change his life one bit - and he intends to carry on living in his mansion, despite his change in fortunes. Friends who expected...

ronseal 13.11.12 2:59pm
Al-Qaeda claim responsibility for devastating attack on BBC

In a video statement broadcast this morning on Al-jazzera, the terrorist group Al-Qaeda have admitted responsibility for the destructive attack on the BBC. The attack which has been on-going, and the...

Perks 13.11.12 2:34pm
Nadine Dorries aborts her bushtucker trial within acceptable time frame 0
charlies_hat 13.11.12 1:37pm
Doctors communicate with potato in deep vegetative state 0
Stan 13.11.12 1:23pm
Greek government agrees Wonga slider combination to secure short-term loan 0
Nowherefast 13.11.12 1:11pm
Slimmer of the year goes on rampage.

Pete Formby, 35, of Wilmslow, Cheshire, was arrested today after killing five of his colleagues. Formby, who recently won the ‘slimmer of the year’ award after dropping from 28 stone, 6 pounds to...

sigmund 13.11.12 1:07pm
Tim Davie suspended for 'getting to grips' with the BBC typing pool 0
pinxit 13.11.12 1:00pm
New York cop to enjoy retirement after last week in work passes off uneventfully

A hard-bitten New York cop is looking forward to a leisurely retirement tonight after failing to be killed in the line of duty during his last week in work. Luckily for Danny Nimzowitch, his...

Gary Stanton 13.11.12 12:37pm
Gary Stanton
Abu Qatada ‘surprised but delighted’ with free holiday win

Muslim Cleric Abu Qatada spoke of his shock at winning a free holiday to a mystery destination earlier today. ‘It’s, like, totally amazing’ he declared. ‘I got home today to find a letter...

ianslat 13.11.12 11:34am
Tim Davie arrested. Charged with hacking BBC management. 0
weematt 13.11.12 11:10am
“We’re the good guys”, insists drug dealer Danny. "Hell, the first hit is free”.

While loan sharks and pawnbrokers operate on the high street with impunity, as though they were legitimate businesses, drug dealers like Danny continue to be demonised. It doesn't seem fair. Danny...

Tripod 13.11.12 10:47am
Home Secretary deports Abu Qatada to Geordieland instead

Home Secretary Theresa May has reacted to the latest Court setback in deporting fanatical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada to Jordon by sending him to Geordieland instead. Ms May noted: ‘Sending a...

Yikes 13.11.12 10:10am
Tap & Spile ups the ante with new range of surreal ales.

The Tap & Spile chain of live music drinking establishments looks set to change its customer base with the introduction of a new range of ‘art period beers’. The move is supported by CAMSA,...

malgor 13.11.12 9:29am
Chelsea relief as Terry scan shows only minor 'black man's pinch' injury 0
Midnight Dreary 13.11.12 8:45am
Midnight Dreary