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Latest smart phones to feature "predictive capabilities".

And we don't mean predictive text. An anonymous source has told industry watchers that the latest chip developments will feature psychic abilities, endowing the phones with a fledgling intelligence,...

ianrbland 22.02.12 7:23pm
New horror flick based on true events from an online review 0
Dumbnews 22.02.12 5:17pm
Depressed frog kermits suicide. More soon.

Got to get these off my chest. I have more...

Haywood Manley 23.02.12 11:09pm
Nurses must sign "Dignitas" code 0
simonjmr 22.02.12 4:17pm
Benevolent Nigerian Prince stunned by apathy towards his Philanthropic emails

Prince Abiola Olatunde spoke of his frustration yesterday, as his attempts to enrich his fellow internet users continue to fall upon deaf ears. Employing a team of volunteers from the school he...

SimonJJames 24.02.12 7:15pm
Astronomers warn that a sequel to Costners 'Waterworld' may exist

Astronomers have claimed the existence of a sequel to the 1995 Kevin Costner turkey "Water-world" could exist with its trademarked thick, dense and incomprehensible script. Astronomers and...

simonjmr 24.02.12 12:06am
Predictive text: "Ducking annoying" 0
beau-jolly 22.02.12 2:42pm
TV chat show without Daniel Radcliffe breaks all viewing records

The BBC's radical decision to broadcast a chat show not featuring the diminutive Harry Potter star appears to have paid off. Viewers, bored to the back teeth with Radcliffe plugging his new film...

Son of Barnabas 22.02.12 2:20pm
Son of Barnabas
Allotment holders suspected of plotting 0
beau-jolly 22.02.12 2:19pm
Peter Pan to spearhead Hollywood war on piracy

The war on piracy took another dramatic turn today after the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) announced that Peter Pan will be spearheading their latest anti-piracy campaign. Pan is seen...

lucas 22.02.12 1:41pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Scorsese facial hair documentary deemed too eyebrow for US audiences 1
Haywood Manley 22.02.12 1:05pm
Man with bad feet disappointed with town's Corn Exchange 6
Perks 22.02.12 10:28pm
Strauss-Kahn sex scandal inspires new TV Game Show : "Call My Bliff" 2
Gourd Almighty 22.02.12 7:50pm
Gourd Almighty
IAEA to become EIEIO following sponsorship from McDonalds 0
Skylarking 22.02.12 8:26am
Adele Cordoned off. 15
MADJEZ 24.02.12 8:20am
Legumes arrested in nitrogen fixing scandal 7
Psycadelic Squirrel 23.02.12 8:49am
Brits scoop top awards at Brits Awards shock 0
Dickens or Shakespeare 22.02.12 7:17am
Dickens or Shakespeare
Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson Marionette Zombie Dance at Brits 'Too Soon'

A macabre and chilling tribute to the King and Queen of pop at tonight's Brits was deemed as 'too soon' by shocked audience members. A bizarre marionette system was set up over the lifeless zombie...

SimonJJames 22.02.12 1:38pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
ITV to interrupt next England game with rest of Adele's Brit Awards speech 0
exigo 21.02.12 11:01pm
Plate smashing outlawed in Greece, cup saucer quota now in place

Greek restaurant owners were shocked into silence yesterday when plate smashing was outlawed due to new austerity measures. In a further shock, already stunned restaurateurs were told that they could...

SimonJJames 22.02.12 1:28pm
Amoeba Agency splits into UK Border Agency 0
thackaray 21.02.12 10:33pm
Encouraging signs for economy as cost of lemons and batter go up 400% in a day. 3
MADJEZ 22.02.12 1:06pm
Shares slip in Greece 1
ianrbland 21.02.12 10:06pm
One in five Greek newborns to be given to Germany 0
hughesroland 21.02.12 9:50pm
Britain's binge drinking babies

"Once he starts on a bottle he just doesn't stop" said one mother when interviewed about this latest news issue. Jackie Shah explained further. "As soon as Nicky sees the bottle he gets very...

ianrbland 22.02.12 7:49am
Large wooden horse left outside the European Central Bank HQ 0
Gourd Almighty 21.02.12 9:35pm
Gourd Almighty
Strauss-Kahn sex-ring arrest, didn't reallise Prince Albert was illegal.

More painful headlines soon...

MADJEZ 21.02.12 9:20pm
Madonna wins five awards at the Grannies 1
bonjonelson 21.02.12 9:28pm
Haywood Manley
Sunderland Supporters Club sponsor St James's Park

There are mixed emotions in Newcastle tonight as it emerged that the Sunderland supporters club has agreed a seven figure sponsorship deal to rename St James's Park for the next 5 years. All funds...

grottymonty 21.02.12 9:13pm
Cameron's stylists 'stole my image' claims face drawn onto balloon

[More soon]...

dicky37 22.02.12 1:13pm