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WH Smith launches 90% off Mayan calendars sale 0
Yikes 15.12.12 11:08pm
O’Farrell-Tyson fight date set for 26 December at the O2

Sky Sports have announced that they will be broadcasting the much-anticipated fight between the ‘Big Girl’s Blouse’ and the ‘Baddest Man in British Comedy’ live from London’s O2 Arena on...

malgor 15.12.12 10:59pm
Ladbrokes open betting on number of stitches required after Royal birth...

More soon....

misterjingles 15.12.12 10:42pm
Supposedly Funny Scot Funds Foreign Tourist To Sue English Tourists Abroad

A certain Television Twat (inverted commas) "Comedian" who happens to originate from a northern part of England - formerly known as Scotland, appears to have a grudge against his Lords and Masters.,...

Tess Goes 15.12.12 9:35pm
‘£3-a-month’ wildlife adoption woman overjoyed by reunion with polar bear

A woman who donated nearly £4 a month to the WWF spoke today of the heart-stopping moment when she was first introduced to her 800-pound polar bear. Jeanette Harper selflessly adopted the animal...

15.12.12 9:17pm
'Monkey will be back working on tills over Xmas' say IKEA

Animal experts say they think the monkey that strayed into an IKEA store at the weekend may have mistaken the store’s customers for primates from a rival colony., They think the animal may have...

Gerontius 15.12.12 8:35pm
Tess Goes
Archaeologists hit funny bone in Egyptian dig

An archaeological team led by Professor Emily Ross-Slater, antiquities specialist at the Archaeologist Field School in Luxor, has discovered a significant insight into the lives of ordinary ancient...

Dick Everyman 15.12.12 8:31pm
Jesus’ Face ‘found in pool of vomit’

Religious leaders were left baffled this morning as a pool of vomit containing what appeared to be a likeness of the face of Jesus was discovered just outside the main entrance of a local church....

Reg Herring 15.12.12 8:13pm
Tess Goes
Iceland defy calls to confirm contents of 3-bird roast

Bosses at the UK's foremost sub zero food retailer have moved to deny accusations that rook and other unpopular fauna are routinely used in the preparation of the store’s ‘luxury’ 3-bird roast....

BAJDixon 15.12.12 5:43pm
Operation Yewtree to investigate tribute acts and lookalikes for future offences

Tribute acts and lookalikes will now be investigated by Operation Yewtree. Offences ranging from being sexual predators at current,, past and future offences especially around the lucrative Christmas...

simonjmr 15.12.12 5:34pm
RMT union confirms 'traditional' Christmas rail strike to go ahead...

this may be why the wise men had to resort to camels, and donkeys to travel. feel free anyone...

writinginbsl 15.12.12 5:08pm
Hi friends its me John O Farrell

yes it realy is me,I very rarely make appearances on Newsbiscuit as I dont want everyone to think Im giving it large becouse Im so good at everything,anyway myself and Jackie,thats her indoors ha ha...

Thubs Swirlim 15.12.12 4:09pm
Custard creams, Rhubarb crumbles 1
Dick Everyman 15.12.12 3:09pm
Sexton A Blake
Nelson Mandela's gallstones free after 26 year incarceration

Free! Free at last!...

custard cream 15.12.12 2:54pm
Cameron pardons everything since 1066 2
Dick Everyman 15.12.12 2:24pm
custard cream
Doctors identify new medical condition - Kindle Wrist

A leading team of medical researchers have published their results into an increasing problem for e-reader users. Prof. Robert Lewis from University of London's Medical Trauma Unit, said, "We've had...

custard cream 15.12.12 2:22pm
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Robert Peston explains to Roy Wood why it couldn't be Christmas every day. 0
dominic_mcg 15.12.12 2:10pm
Satirical website under fire as Mike Tyson spoof blamed for African suicides

Spoof website Newsbiscuit, Britain’s answer to The Onion, is facing a firestorm of criticism after its fake story on Mike Tyson’s sex change was reported as true in a number of African media...

Yikes 15.12.12 2:02pm
custard cream
BBC investigation gives green light to Clive Dunn tribute

on tonight apparently...

custard cream 15.12.12 1:44pm
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Michelle Tyson changes mind- and sex - again

The boxer formerly called Mike Tyson, and recently known as Michelle, confirmed yesterday he wants to become Mike again, just as soon as he's found a replacement cock, "perhaps on eBay, or...

SuburbanDad 15.12.12 12:10pm
Traumatised America vows to do “anything... anything” (except ban guns)... 0
Tripod 15.12.12 10:47am
CAPTCHA code firm hires GPs to design new range 0
pinxit 15.12.12 10:31am
Franklin Mint to Produce Commemorative Duchess of Cambridge Sick Bucket

Franklin Mint, famous for their collectibles that "elevate the gifting experience" according to their US website, are to produce a souvenir bone china bucket to commemorate the Duchess of Cambridge's...

Sexton A Blake 15.12.12 10:17am
Serbian FA furious with UEFA’s deplorable tolerance of football

UEFA’s decision to fine the Serbian FA €80,000 and suspend four of their players was met with howls of derision last night, as the country’s government demanded to know why England had got off...

thumper 15.12.12 7:33am
Dignitas website asks logging-off users 'Are you sure you want to exit?' 2
antharrison 15.12.12 6:31am
Premier League footballers invest in Unicorn cheese

Not to be outdone by tennis player Novak Djokavic's acquisition of all Donkey Cheese produced over the next year, a consortium of Premier League footballers have entered into a similar investment. ...

Perks 14.12.12 9:48pm
Justin Bieber castration plot latest - police identify 50,000 suspects

Picture below from The Sun, so it must be true.

custard cream 14.12.12 9:23pm
Ernest Saunders' Doctor confident Margaret Moran will now make a full recovery

more later. One for the oldies perhaps...

dvo4fun 14.12.12 7:26pm
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McKinnon 'health grounds' revealed to be hacking cough 2
Squudge 14.12.12 7:25pm
custard cream
J.K. Rowling decapitates Suzanne Collins, saves world from darkness

Esteemed British author J.K. Rowling fought and killed fellow author Suzanne Collins last week in a crowded Boston train station, marking the end of a centuries-old battle between the two immortal...

MikeyMike 14.12.12 7:22pm