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Nations Children Unprepared for Dystopian Future 0
Fox100 3 years

In a stark warning to parents and children around the country, education secretary Michael Gove warned that the nations children are “woefully unprepared” for the dystopian future to come. In a...
'Biblical' storm forecast in New York 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
‘Changes needed’ say Labour MPs after Mili ordeal 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
News that kills - Kews : Genetically altered Leopards roam in Botswana 0
3 years

http://www.tryggz.net/giraffe.jpg In what appears to be a freak of nature unseen since the advent of Andrew Loyd Webber, Botswana faces a new threat to local tribes, and the very trees that live...
Suspect UK consignment of e-coli to France is found to have cucumber on it 0
Basil_B 3 years
Cameron: 'Protect children from left-wing filth' 0
Christopher Frost 3 years

The Prime Minister announced radical proposals today, which he believes will help protect children from the 'corrupting influence' of left-wing websites. Under the plans, internet service providers...
Yankey: "Don't compare us to men's football because we're just very bad" 6
JohnA 3 years

England star Rachel Yankey is urging new fans of the team not to compare the women's style of play with what they are used to in the men's game, especially all of the fluent passing, tackling and...
Chaos as Barrymore gatecrashes Sir Eltons party 0
Dr Alan Reshey 3 years

Elton Johns annual ball descended into chaos when gatecrasher Michael Barrymore turned up wearing just a pair of swimming trunks. Whilst a worried looking Sir Elton entertained guests at the...
Tim Henman makes it through to fourth round. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Glastonbury 2012 Cancelled Due to Lack of Youth 4
Quaz 3 years

Glastonbury Festival founder Michael Eavis has cancelled the event next year due to a lack of young people. Speaking on Radio 4, Eavis explained “The mosh pit for U2 on Friday night looked like an...
Bewildered U2 turn up two days early for their Glastonbury Golden Oldie booking 0
Chip Paper 3 years
Saigoing, Saigoing, Saigon..... 9
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Afghanistan going, Afghanistan going, Afghanistan gone...
Olympic committee under pressure to create more games to meet 2012 ticket demand 0
Basil_B 3 years

An extraordinary meeting was convened today at the Olympic headquarters in Lausanne, Switzerland to decide on the creation of new games for next years event in London. Olympic President Jacques...
Tickets go on sale for 2012 dads' races 16
ianslat 3 years

Millions of disappointed Olympic ticket applicants were given fresh hope today as tickets for the dads' races at the London Olympics went on sale. 'We realise that many people were disappointed not...
Pioneering interactive Glasto coverage: mud on the sofa and your telly nicked 5
FraserWords 3 years

The BBC is to pioneer new interactive technology in its coverage of this year’s Glastonbury festival. Viewers can press the red button to trigger visits from BBC employees who will throw buckets of...
Greek bail-out bill falters over who had starters 4
FraserWords 3 years

High level negotiations over Greece’s bail-out bill broke down last night over which country had starters., Britain claimed it could opt out of payments to the troubled Eurozone country as it only...
Mrs Alice Foster's wedding frock sells for a fiver at Cat Protection League shop 2
roybland 3 years

The frock Alice Foster (45) wore as bridesmaid at her sister's wedding ten years ago has sold for a record £5 at the Cat Protection League's shop in Hereford. 'There was a lot of interest in the...
'Bollocks,' says Bin Laden, staring morosely at bowl of 72 grapes 12
Oxbridge 3 years

The soul of the late terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden has admitted to 'mild disappointment' at finding that his reward for mass murder in the name of God in the afterlife has turned out to be 72...
View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (6/24 edition) 8
SugarTits69 3 years

Sorry it's been a while since I last posted. Me and my super-hot Japanese girlfriend Akiko took our ventriloquist act on a short tour of South coast venues this past week, and I've been so busy I've...
Falks "Just more more thing" funeral gag swamps internet 1
BillyBitzer 3 years

The servers of both Twitter and Facebook were brought to a virtual collapse late last night as millions of people simultaneously posted the joke that they had just thought up about the coffin...
Physics degree entitles you to call yourself Dr and public to think you a twat, 20
ronseal 3 years

A new court ruling has created a compromise between men who want to call themselves a doctor for no apparent reason and the rest of society. Under the ruling, anyone with a physics degree can...
Banksy pissed of as thieves yet again steal third attempt to repaint lounge. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Portland OR carries out $350M complete air change after public farting incident. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
England football team fans defect to Spain 0
pinxit 3 years
Colombo crumples 0
roybland 3 years

no more soon...
Falk's coffin hesitates and turns back for a second before disappearing behind 1
Al OPecia 3 years

crematorium curtains. Why the fuck give us a box where you can only write in two thirds of the space available?...
Man who killed policeman released on bail 0
antharrison 3 years

There is a trail of hypocrisy here - linked to earlier submissions...
Rebelious Greek euro-sceptics vow to continue smashing plates and glasses 0
antharrison 3 years
Dick van Dycke arrested after Falk death. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Suppressed sneezes can cause head explosions, warn scientists 1
Christopher Frost 3 years