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Paralympians to be classified by morality of disability

Paralympic athletes are to be assessed according to how culpable they are for their disabilities. Though the competition already possesses a classification system, it only categorizes the type...

4
pitflaps 09.09.12 10:04pm
Very Little Else
A Modest Proposal: Castration at Birth

In 1729, Jonathan Swift penned a satirical essay entitled "A Modest Proposal," which advocated that poor people decrease their burden on society by selling their children to the rich, to be "stewed,...

21
sylkron 09.09.12 10:00pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Renowned Philosophical Intellectual Sage Admits She's Never Voted In Her Life

Leading philosopher and intellectual, Lesley C. Champion stated yesterday in a hastily adjourned meeting at the UN in New York City, that although she's a flag carrying torch bearer for, amongst...

1
Martin Shuttlecock 09.09.12 9:15pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Richard III car park dig finds early Plantagenet wheel clamp. More soon. 7
deskpilot3 09.09.12 8:59pm
deskpilot3
Cameron offers Clegg the use of his cabin at Yosemite. 2
deskpilot3 09.09.12 8:57pm
deskpilot3
Extra in Paralympic closing ceremony admits to being a bit 'too enthusiastic' 0
simonjmr 09.09.12 8:17pm
simonjmr
Paralympics ends with huge party where everyone gets legless

Is that the time? I'll get my coat...

0
JohnA 09.09.12 6:15pm
JohnA
Dementia symptoms cast cruelly ironic shadow over Wombles’ song re-release plan

“Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember you’re a….sorry. Can we go again? Not quite sure what happened there! Dried completely! My fault”...

0
nickb 09.09.12 4:48pm
nickb
Orchestral concert ruined by chants of "you're not singing any more"

More to follow...

0
apepper 09.09.12 4:25pm
apepper
Mixed news on economy; big business down 3%, cat business up 2%

Economists are considering their response to the latest statistics for business. A treasury spokesman explained; "Obviously we'd like more from big business as that improves tax receipts, but with...

0
apepper 09.09.12 4:21pm
apepper
5 year old rules out negotiations with parents over teddy bear hostages

A five year old girl from Shepton Mallet has today reiterated that on no account will she negotiate with hostage takers. The statement was made by Phoebe Taylor following speculation that she may be...

11
ianslat 09.09.12 3:10pm
rikkor
Paralympics closing : Giant alarm clock to wake up crowd after Coldplay perform.

More Zzzzzooon...

1
MADJEZ 09.09.12 3:07pm
rikkor
Overweight co-workers plan skimmed milk move

It was confirmed this morning that local office worker Sally Gibson is to move from semi-skimmed to skimmed milk in an effort to lose weight. Ms Gibson was heard loudly confirming the rumours to...

1
BAJDixon 09.09.12 3:02pm
rikkor
Pistorius to pull out of ‘Strictly’

Olympic sprint medallist Oscar Pistorius has warned the BBC he would seriously consider pulling out of the latest ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ line-up unless judges pair him with a more competent...

1
Gerontius 09.09.12 2:56pm
rikkor
Terry Nutkins leaves his body to RSPCA 0
custard cream 09.09.12 2:42pm
custard cream
Pirate and bishop to succeed in furniture assembly "by hook or by crook" 0
BAJDixon 09.09.12 10:11am
BAJDixon
Allardyce Branches Out in Search of Carroll Stand-In

West Ham boss Sam Allardyce has moved to calm fears that his side might struggle with on loan talisman Andy Carroll out injured and insists he has the perfect replacement for the big man – a huge...

4
Fox100 09.09.12 10:11am
dvo4fun
Con-man escapes through open window

A man who ran up an enormous bar-bill at a Shard restaurant during a charity fund raiser on Monday was spotted climbing out of an upstairs window and making off without paying., The man is thought...

1
Gerontius 09.09.12 8:49am
Golgo13
In Your Face Newspapers A Big Hit ......

On Japanese commuter trains...

1
Jesse Bigg 09.09.12 8:42am
Golgo13
Spain A Turn Off For Old Hippies ....

"A bit too square, man."...

1
Jesse Bigg 09.09.12 8:41am
Golgo13
Queen: You crapped on my floor once too often, Monty 0
Sinnick 09.09.12 7:14am
Sinnick
‘Joy of Death Festival’ to end with Coldplay concert

Organisers of the ‘Joy of Death Festival’ to be held in Bournemouth over the weekend say they can think of no better way to end the gathering than to sign off with a Coldplay concert., Over 150...

5
Gerontius 08.09.12 8:49pm
Yikes
Team GB Paralympics medal hope is banned after testing positive for Thalidomide - 2 41
dvo4fun 08.09.12 8:06pm
dvo4fun
London Nearly Finished Claims Mayor - On Time and Within Budget.

With the anticipated completion of the crossrail project somewhere around 2018, mayor Boris Johnson has empathically declared the long-running London construction project that was started many...

1
smalley_smalls 08.09.12 5:22pm
Jeremy Hunt
Small brown Richard the third found in car park 4
charlies_hat 08.09.12 2:20pm
charlies_hat
Troops Find MOD Ban on 'Prince Harry Knob Gags' Hard to Swallow 0
kjo36 08.09.12 1:43pm
kjo36
Vatican 'Suppressed Cure for Tourettes'

It has been revealed that Italian scientists discovered a cure for Tourette's Syndrome in 1973, but were persuaded by the Vatican to suppress the research. "It's an ethical dilemma", said Monsignor...

0
deceangli 08.09.12 1:32pm
deceangli
Wikipedia censured for implying that Philip Roth is an interesting author. 0
Quercus Bundle 08.09.12 9:33am
Quercus Bundle
Moldova vows revenge at European Song Contest 1
antharrison 08.09.12 8:52am
Squudge
Cwis Pwackham to wead euwagy at Tewwy Nutkins fwunerwal.

More swoon...

0
MADJEZ 08.09.12 8:17am
MADJEZ