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Sunderland's female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women's boxing

A group of teenage women who attend Saturday evening frolics at the Get Down nightclub in Sunderland have grouped together to complain about the lack of ferocity and passion in the Olympic women's...

antharrison 09.08.12 5:57pm
Cameroon hide and seek team break Olympic record 0
Actual Size 09.08.12 4:01pm
Actual Size
Satirists praise GB football team for doing the usual

Writers of spoof news stories, who have been starved of easy targets during Team GB's exceptional performance at the London Olympics, have expressed their relief that at least the footballers did...

Oxbridge 09.08.12 3:51pm
Monti Sinks Entire Italian Budget Into Durex Shares As Pope Lifts Condom Ban

The European Central Bank reports that, following Italian premier Monti's action to stimulate growth, inflation figures will most likely remain variable. "The issue remains fluid but at the present...

Nowherefast 09.08.12 3:41pm
Daley Thompson tells media "It sunk in this morning" 2
charlies_hat 09.08.12 3:18pm
Tony Blair Deeply Worried That Nobody Cares That He's Deeply Worried 0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 3:17pm
British youth successfully inspired by menial Olympic support roles

Lord Coe has hailed a survey published today that confirmed that the youth of the nation has been inspired to become menial assistants. Concerns that the London Olympics would fail to deliver the...

ianslat 09.08.12 3:06pm
Rhythmic gymnasts to perform with humans

In a shock announcement, organisers of the Rhythmic Gymnastics Monitoring Committee have released new rules regarding the use of artistic aids in their routines. The gymnasts – who usually wiggle...

kimllfixit 09.08.12 2:52pm
Olympics Just A Giant Wankfest For Plymouth Man

Simon Kendall, 34, a telecoms engineer from Plymouth was yesterday admitted to hospital after collapsing from exhaustion, brought about by my, I mean his, excessive masturbating whilst watching...

HIGNFY 09.08.12 2:17pm
Two men arrested for cheese fight, charged with Fromage Frais 1
Iamthestig 09.08.12 1:58pm
New human sub-species found living on housing estate in Rotherham. 0
wallster 09.08.12 1:24pm
Mars Curiosity Landing: "Not Enough Strings and Pulleys" Says W. Heath Robinson

"It's a bloody miracle it made it down in one piece!" was the informed assessment of British contraption aficionado William Heath Robinson on the landing of NASA's Mars Curiosity Rover this morning....

Nowherefast 09.08.12 1:09pm
10k swimmer disqualified for "heavy petting" 0
seymour totti 09.08.12 12:56pm
seymour totti
Steve Ovett promises to organize an "even better London Olympics" next year 7
bonjonelson 09.08.12 11:45am
Gu Kailai secures China a gold medal for the high jump 1
medici2471 09.08.12 11:35am
Olympic fever sparks new diet craze

Visitors to the London Olympics have been shedding the pounds with a brand new diet – the Hoskins. Named after Hollywood legend and star of Super Mario Bros., Robert William ‘Bob’ Hoskins Jr,...

The_RLJ 09.08.12 11:05am
Health and safety gone mad as javelin catching cancelled

More to follow...

apepper 09.08.12 10:29am
Curiosity rover II reaches Mons Venus

NASA staff were jubilant last night as Curiosity II, sister ship to the Mars rover, beamed the first grainy pictures from a region hitherto unknown to rocket scientists. 'The rover touched down at...

NewSuburbanDad 09.08.12 10:04am
Team GB 'best at sitting down'

As Team GB continues to rack up medals, Olympic officials have pointed out that British athletes seem to be excelling in events which involve sitting down. Rowing, cycling, sailing and canoeing have...

GreenCross 09.08.12 9:42am
Michael Gove Plans Equestrian Dressage Courses For Academy Schools 0
09.08.12 9:27am
Recession Hit Edinburgh Fringe Renamed Edinburgh Comb Over 0
Nowherefast 09.08.12 9:19am
Hermaphrodite tennis player to compete alone in mixed doubles 0
Iamthestig 09.08.12 9:14am
Lambs join gambollers anonymous 0
nickb 09.08.12 8:22am
NASA's new Venus/Mars probe 'Bicuriosity' mission "just experimenting" 4
Golgo13 09.08.12 8:19am
Canvas burqas under review as Saudi sailing team romps home 0
cinquecento 09.08.12 7:54am
Emergency Services To Reduce Response Times By Causing Accidents Personally 0
Textbook 09.08.12 2:47am
Bank of England optimistic zero growth will double year on year. 0
Boutros 08.08.12 10:38pm
Memory foam mattresses "can improve memory" say scientists

"After sleeping on a memory foam mattress for only a week I remembered where I put my long lost keys, could retain long number strings and  could also recall the date of the battle of Lepanto,"...

nickb 08.08.12 10:15pm
NASA Scientist Regrets Singing My Dogs Bigger Than Your Dog At OU Open Mic Night It proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back for an emotional Professor Colin Pillinger, driving force behind the UK's failed...

Nowherefast 08.08.12 10:09pm
Tattoo industry under threat as UK runs out of unmarked chavs 7
Actual Size 08.08.12 9:47pm
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