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Chav Geordies 'all wi’ smiling faces, going down the Sports Direct' 1
Midfield Diamond 3 years

(variation on a theme)...

Murdoch shows his human side: blinks and coughs twice during testimony 0
Drylaw 3 years
NoTW demise threat to national security 0
medici2471 3 years

In a sensational announcement outgoing Home Secretary Theresa May has disclosed that the former tabloid newspaper the News of the World was the commercial arm of the British Security Services. "It...

Greeks not taking Euro crisis seriously as Chaka Demus & Pliers become PM 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Tease Me" More soon...

3000 illiterate chavs riot at SportsDirect Arena, expecting 'Lonsdale ' bargains 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Statement expected soon...

New Mel Gibson movie to be called "The Man without a Career" 0
Iamthestig 3 years
"You can't have any of this" austerity Christmas catalogue launches in Italy 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Long Term Unemployed to attend compulsory book club. 0
DavidBlame 3 years

A pilot scheme in London is having a marked effect on unemployment figures, as part of David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’ project claimants receiving jobseekers allowance for more than 18 months are...

Zorba Piddlelyovertheacropolis appointed to ask France for some more money. 0
Ostsee 3 years
'Whites Only' program discovered on John Terry's washing machine. 8
spoole2112 3 years

Further allegations of racism were made today following covert operations by an undercover freelance journalist hiding in the Chelsea and England foootballer's utility room. Having spent almost two...

Greece pleads with Zeus to save what dignity it has left 5
sambo 3 years

Yesterday Greek politicians admitted to summoning a pantheon of ancient Gods to deal with their ongoing economic crisis. Prime Minister George Papandreou admitted: “We didn’t want it to come to...

James Murdoch to star as arch-villain in new Bond film 'SKY FALL' 1
pinxit 3 years
Earth on collision course with gigantic poppy. 2
Al OPecia 3 years

Astronomers across the world have raised the alarm over what appears to be a high probability of the Earth colliding with an unusual celestial object. NASA spokesman, Dr Sam McFlynn, said today "we...

Mike Ashley's son renamed Starbuck McDonald to fund school fees 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Murdoch attacked by Scots MP in Committee room: Commons Latest 4
Drylaw 3 years

"Yer a fuckin' liar so ye are," shouted Greenock Labour MP Lex Begbie today in the hallowed forum of a Commons Committee room as James Murdoch sat calmly batting away members' questions on phone...

Liam Fox tipped to be the next Home Secretary 1
Tammy Flugh 3 years

after Adam Werrity starts an Immigration consultancy...

Audit Commission says a bank scam has cost taxpayers an estimated £1 trillion 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Owners of elephant kept in Peterborough to be charged with cruelty 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sacha Baron Cohen announces current series of ‘Berlusconi’ will be the last 13
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen has confirmed that he is set to ‘retire’ his long-running Silvio Berlusconi character at the end of the current series. Silvio is Cohen’s oldest surviving character,...

Vocoder technology adds gravitas to young 'wannabe' MPs 5
3 years

The world of politics is an alluring one to most young people - a glamorous world, full of fame, second homes and undisclosed incomes. To make it in this world there are certain skills required - a...

National treasures to be kept under lock and key at the Tower of London 0
simonjmr 3 years

Bad news for Stephen Fry, Jools Holland and Paul McCartney. More soon...

Murdoch unaware of "wide hacking" but knew of "specific hacking" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Export of Spearmint Rhino to West Africa as Western black rhino declared extinct 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Every little bit helps to re-establish Spearmint Rhino in West AFrica" More soon...

James Murdoch prepares escape-proof bag and agoraphobic cat 1
apepper 3 years

In preparing for his appearance before a Westminster committee, News International chairman, James Murdoch has procured an armoured bag and found a cat with a morbid fear of the outdoors. "I feel...

OXO shareholders lose everything as stock market crumbles. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years
Student Protests deemed 'massive let down' by Police 0
ndbrown123 3 years

Scotland Yard has released a statement this morning stating their huge disappointment over the student protests. Over 4000 police officers were present yesterday with authority to deploy 'baton...

Poppy Appeal bosses plan "most ambitious guilt trip ever" 11
Mr Target 3 years

Poppy appeal bosses were today locked in behind-closed-door meetings, rumoured to be planning their most contrived, yet undeniably righteous, guilt-trip publicity stunt ever, say sources, as the...

Oscar statue quits as Acadamy Award 0
simonjmr 3 years
Rick Perry told to 'go home to Texas', but he 'can't remember where it is...Oops 0
JD 3 years
'Judge me on my music,' says Bieber. 'Er, on second thoughts...' 0
Oxbridge 3 years