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Cameron vetoes changes to Eurovision Song Contest 3
ianslat 3 years

David Cameron has this morning thrown the whole of Europe into crisis by using the UKs veto to prevent changes to the Eurovision Song Contest. 'The proposals were not in the interests of the UK'...

Lib-Dem Leader, Clegg-Iron, Complains ..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Of a splitting headache...

One Direction pulls out so The Grinch turns on Knutsford's Christmas Lights 0
Ian Searle 3 years
LHC team abandons quest for Homeopathic particle after Health and Safety scare 8
Gong of Fur 3 years

A massive surge of electricity brought Geneva to a halt yesterday as computers and trams crashed. The cause was an emergency shutdown at the nearby Large Hadron Collider, where panicking scientists...

"Fog In Channel. Continent Isolated," Says Cameron 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..The old jokes can still be the best...

"Fenton, Jesus Christ Fenton" heralds discovery of Higgs Boson particle 0
simonjmr 3 years
Scotland rebuilding after 8 hour Trampoline attack 0
gaijintendo 3 years

After a series of up and downs, Scotland is aiming higher! Higher! Wheee...

Over 50% of zoo animals "unemployed graduates in costume" 0
Drylaw 3 years
Investmentment bankers critised for betting against future happiness of own kids 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Exorcism of poison dwarf performed during filming of Noel's christmas Presence 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Prolonged Climate change talks criticised for burning the midnight oil 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
They dont like it up em mr mainwarring. 2
Q 3 years

I prime minister of great britain handed the german and french 4th riech a note to say that we the british government would not give in to there demands for greater financial & monatary union...

Microsoft to bring back the paperclip 0
theumpire 3 years
Police urge women suspecting intruder in house to run a bath and lie in it 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Racism and cheating explained to Dalglish after continued defence of Suarez 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has been having private tuition this week, in an attempt to get him to understand that racist comments and persistent cheating from one of his players are bad things....

Croatia orders Farepak Christmas hamper 0
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
'London taxi drivers have brains' shock claim by scientists 0
Griffin 3 years

Ask Leo and Lucy: what’s the carbon footprint of a hand job? 2
Runestone Cowboy 3 years

[i]The dilemma:[/i] I love the planet, and want to save it for future generations. However, I also enjoy hand jobs from anonymous escorts. Are hand jobs ‘green’, or should I feel guilty about...

'World is flat' declare X-Factor judges 2
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Scottish utilities 'freak winter weather' shock: Driving wind and lashing rain 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More soon (no doubt)...

Scottish wind turbine program derailed by ‘wrong sort of wind’. 6
malgor 3 years
Coalition will prioritise the non-taxpayer 1
Zadok the second 3 years

The government has announced a policy shift away from meeting the needs of ‘the taxpayer’, a spokesperson announced yesterday. “ "Taxpayer" is a very nebulous concept”, she continued....

Battle to re-connect 20m UK homes to Europe after storm batters Brussels 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Desperate scientist resorts to hundreds of ‘missing particle’ posters 5
Runestone Cowboy 3 years

A scientist desperate to be united with a missing particle has resorted to leaving posters on every lamp-post in his local area. The particle, thought to answer to the name Higgs Boson, has been...

Blow for Edinburgh Zoo after both pandas diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Cameron out of Europe but still very confident of success in Europa Cup 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
...Iran TV goes on and on and on about drones. 0
nickb 3 years
Tiny pilot held, claims Tehran.... 0
nickb 3 years
CIA denies captured drone was from Maplins 0
nickb 3 years
US shelves development of pleasure weapon – early trials “too successful” 0
bumtrinket 3 years

Needs development - Possible content:, Patented tuned radio frequency orgasmulation technology, US DOD cited concerns that US military would be overstretched with any old Country claiming secret...