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Hosepipe Ban opposed by Fireman's Union 0
nannyknowsbest 3 years

"We simply do not have sufficient buckets to cope with a major fire" said a union spokesman amid fears that only properties close to the sea or a river could be saved in the event of a fire., Fears...

Eerie silence falls across Brtains pubs 8
Pinhead 3 years

as dawning realisation that 'Cider over Ice' is in fact a bit gay. The effect, epicentered on Newcastle, spread rapidly at over 1000 pubs per hour, with Bulmers and Magners sales plummeting. The...

Gardeners Question Time. 0
euanc 3 years

Regular Archers listeners were surprised to hear GQT panel members debating the space/time coordinate grid spanning the 3+1 dimensions locating events rather than just points in space. Presenter Eric...

Isle of Wight man tries to buy 8oz of RSS feed on-line 0
Pinhead 3 years

for his mouse, presumably...

Gascoigne arrives in Tripoli with chicken, beer and fishing rod 3
3 years

Libyan rebels at a Tunisian border post were surprised by the arrival of Paul Gascoigne last night. The troubled footballer was carrying a roast chicken, 4 cans of Newcastle Brown and a fishing rod....

Church stance on faith school places causes record drop in church attendance... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Gordon Brown takes unpaid advisory role at Citizen's Advice Bureau, Staines. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Misleading Auto Trader adverts reach new low as VW Golf turns out to be a donkey 4
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

As a regular visitor to the Auto Trader website in his search for a new car Simon Johnson from Blackpool had become accustomed to seeing deliberately misleading listings with false prices and mileage...

DEFRA to investigate Shaun the Sheep's 'inability to mature' 1
Mrblacker 3 years

The Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has confirmed its inspectors have started a major investigation into allegations that growth inhibitors have been administered to a celebrity...

Sri Lanka confirm machine as replacement for Malinga 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The Sri Lankan Cricket team has named the BOLA Professional Bowling Machine in their squad to tour England next month. The machine, which can bowl at a top speed of 95mph, has been selected to...

Libya to supply ground troops to quell anti Tesco clashes in Bristol 0
virtuallywill 3 years

This is not Loyalty card creep says Gadaffi...

Daily Express offers Royal Wedding Drinking Game kit for every mention of Diana. 3
MADJEZ 3 years
Griff Rhys Jones explodes during recording of latest Morrisons advert. more soon 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Gamers forced to confront reality as Playstation Network stays down. more soon 0
Mrblacker 3 years
How does that work? My computer just farted... 2
OldThingy 3 years

must be that spam...

Royal bust up as groom still hasn't taken suit to the cleaners with week to go. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Actors to play soldiers for Royal Wedding honour guard 3
Mrblacker 3 years

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed it's to hire around 200 actors to play the part of the Honour Guard for Prince William's wedding to Kate Middleton. And according to the Defence Secretary Dr....

Medic suspended for wearing Red Cross in war zone 2
virtuallywill 3 years

more or less later...

Newsbiscuit contributor accused of cluster-bombing 3
beau-jolly 3 years

Bloody quiet day on the High Street!...

Footballer admits sacking his reflexologist was a knee jerk reaction 4
Pinhead 3 years

don't worry, no more soon; that was rubbish...

Enjoy nothing more than a DVD and a bottle of wine 0
Pinhead 3 years

That could be why you're single then...

Australian scientists uncover centuries-old map blunder 2
anthoad 3 years

A team of scientists from the University of Queensland in Australia has made the startling discovery that almost all of the world’s maps have been read upside-down for centuries, prompting...

UK retail sales rebound 0.2%, statistical margin of error 0.2% 3
virtuallywill 3 years

It is newshonest....

News sources today are simply too unreliable says bloke down the pub 1
Screenie 3 years
Kate to marry in a burqa 4
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

In a move aimed at appeasing Muslim groups planning to demonstrate outside Westminster Abbey on the day of her wedding, Kate Middleton has revealed that she will ditch a traditional wedding dress in...

Man's ailment mysteriously goes away after physician discusses treatment costs 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Dadist's Army refuses to fight. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

"they don't like a prawn with a violin, Captain Mainwaring" shouted Corporal Jones...

PM "uneasy" about use of the subjunctive. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

Cameron feeling moody. Just for you Rikkor...

Bertie Wooster to lead UK "Drone's Club" Mission in Libya. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Emma Watson fails daily mail celebrity test 0
4ty2 3 years

The mail complaint about her inability to make headlines for her 21st birthday. After all, the papers depend on celebrities making a fool of themselves to sell papers that have otherwise nothing to...