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Middle East Convoy still hard at work

Rest assured nervous world, progress continues at its usual pace...

Robert Koch 19.02.14 5:30pm
Robert Koch
Sinkholes each contain 20 Bulgarians, warns Daily Mail 0
Oxbridge 19.02.14 4:51pm
Dog owners petition for civil partnership and marriage rights

Following the success of gay couples to get their union properly recognised, thousands of dog owners are now fighting to win exactly the same rights. Daphne Moran who runs the Dogs Are Forever...

Lenny Bee 19.02.14 4:24pm
Lenny Bee
Judge: "How did you lose your ear?" Actor: "Pardon?" 0
Son of Barnabas 19.02.14 3:58pm
Son of Barnabas
Aiiiiii! Wei Oh Wei did you smash my vase? 0
Son of Barnabas 19.02.14 3:46pm
Son of Barnabas
Kiev damaged in riots. Streets running with garlic sauce. 0
Son of Barnabas 19.02.14 3:44pm
Son of Barnabas
Adults with no children in car to be fined for smirking 0
Son of Barnabas 19.02.14 3:38pm
Son of Barnabas
Vanessa Mae comes last - accuses judges of fiddling 0
Son of Barnabas 19.02.14 3:37pm
Son of Barnabas
Brooks hacking trial : Blair advised "have the whistleblower killed" 0
Ref Minor 19.02.14 3:23pm
Ref Minor
If Salmond wins, will the rest of us have to become "Middle-sized Britain"? 4
Son of Barnabas 19.02.14 3:01pm
Smart Alex
Hollande to Ban the Import of Scottish Ivory

Following independence, it is unlikely that any EEC member country will accept Ivory from Scotland, including that found on Grand Pianos made after 1987...

Guillermo De Snookio 19.02.14 2:27pm
Guillermo De Snookio
The Sontaran Commander Pickles fights for the Aqua People

Commander Pickles arrived on earth in the 1950s with a mission to fight against the Bureaucian Empire. He has now formed a splinter group of Ongarans based near London. Their target is the English...

Guillermo De Snookio 19.02.14 1:26pm
Poll shows Scots happy to ditch the pound but want to keep the Giro 0
jimmydodger 19.02.14 12:31pm
Independence postponed till Scotland has song ready for Eurovision 0
sydalg 19.02.14 12:30pm
No insurance payouts for groundwater flooding: Act of sod. 1
beau-jolly 19.02.14 10:37am
Slante Dangle
Big Bets Placed On Cameron….

…If North flooded, what odds on Dave showing up?...

Jesse Bigg 19.02.14 10:20am
Jesse Bigg
Scotland to Adopt the Peso

Alex Salmond has now revealed his ‘Plan B’, he has approached the Chilean Government with a view to Monetary Union after Scotland separates from the UK. Salmond has hoped to establish a trade...

Guillermo De Snookio 19.02.14 9:57am
Guillermo De Snookio
January Outbreak of Gaelic Poetry Stuns English Arts Critics

The latter part of January saw a number of social events being saturated with unintelligible verse, said to originate in Scotland. The supposed author was an eighteenth century Scottish Jew, Rabbi...

Guillermo De Snookio 19.02.14 9:50am
Guillermo De Snookio
The duck stops here says Dave 1
farmer giles 19.02.14 9:29am
Schumacher Still Suffering Reduced Brain Activity - Considers Football Career 1
Titus 19.02.14 9:16am
Pakistan sees deadliest protests since yesterday 0
Dumbnews 19.02.14 6:02am
Successful inflatable dinghy firm 'to be floated on the Stock Market' 0
AReader 19.02.14 12:14am
Torpedo manufacturing firm 'holed below the waterline' 0
AReader 19.02.14 12:13am
Gove: Dairy Industry misrepresented by 1980's sitcom 'Bottle Boys'

On the 30th anniversary of landmark sitcom Bottle Boys, Michael Gove has waded into a row over its depiction of milkmen in the early 80s. The Education Secutary wrote in the Telegraph: "Our...

Adrian Bamforth 19.02.14 12:13am
Man who summarises porn films hit by premature encapsulation 0
sydalg 19.02.14 12:05am
Personal submarine business 'goes under'

(c) Groans-r-us 2014...

AReader 18.02.14 11:54pm
Severe Haemorroids sufferers convention chairman gets standing ovation. 2
Zen 18.02.14 11:38pm
Independent Scotland Would Be Twined With North Korea

The food and the weather might be better, the politics less unpredictable, and they might even be happy to join a currency union. Every Won would be a winner. (See what I did there?) Do ye no'...

Titus 18.02.14 10:25pm
Fiery Globe seen in skies – Call for Virgins to Appease Gods

There was tumult and fear in the land earlier today when a globe of fire appeared in the eastern skies and stayed there without interruption for much of the day. Village Headman Pik-Elz promptly...

blokefromstoke 18.02.14 10:25pm
Ducks reject currency union with Alex Salmond

Subsequent to the majority of England being submerged in 3ft of water, our Duck Overlords have made it clear that they will not be sharing the pound with an independent Scotland. Although the...

Wrenfoe 18.02.14 9:51pm
Adrian Bamforth