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IOC Admit London Didn’t Win Olympics Bid Afterall 0
brieosh1 3 years

London planners of the Olympic games awoke to the shock revelation that it wouldn’t be hosting the 2012 games as, it had for many years, believed it would. It seems that during the bidding process,...

Spot Fixing scandal hits 'Aunt Sally' 0
Perks 3 years

The Kings Arms in Wantage, Oxfordshire, has become the centre of the latest spot fixing accusation. It is alleged that a player agreed to miss the dolly in the third leg in a game of Aunt Sally in...

Anti-Higgs boson discovered. 'Not what we were looking for' claims sad physicist 1
Griffin 3 years
Virgin money 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

"Just show us your tits, Sheila!" ?...

RBS to cut 3,500 jobs in England and Wales 0
medici2471 3 years
Wales upset as Mummy and Daddy are arguing again 6
Immunis 3 years
John Terry tells mortgage lender he prefers not to be in the black 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Internal Daily Express review finds no evidence its staff try to find the truth 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
RBS employee told to report to Job Centre booth number one please 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Videos emerge of President Assad pissing on his people’s hopes for democracy 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Cricketer in spot fixing case admits to using Clearasil 0
JETFAB 3 years
Growing number of whiplash claims out of control say MPs. 0
MrQ 3 years

Max Mosley unavailable for comment...

. 0
MrQ 3 years
Met office warns that the warm winter will hurt Climate Change Deniers 1
steve_l 3 years

The Met Office today warned that the unusually warm winter will prevent the usual flock of Climate Change Deniers from wintering in the country. This will prevent people from hearing their...

Salmond poaches chef 0
JETFAB 3 years

In a shock move Scotland's first minister,Alex Salmond, has appointed disgraced TV chef Antony 'Borrow' Thompson as the public face of the Scottish independence campaign., Defending the...

Throwaway remarks to be banned under EU Environmental Laws. More soon. 6
Al OPecia 3 years

Inspired completely and utterly by writinginbsl...

Protestors flock to challenge pigeon-feeding ASBO. More ASBOs soon 0
FlashArry 3 years

there may be some more mileage in this ?...

Salsa dancing class flyer respondant, finds only abandoned shopping trolley 0
Newsquelch 3 years

Guy Flunt (32) of Clapham was left flabberghasted yesterday evening, as he turned up for his free introductory salsa lesson and found nothing at the address other than an abandoned Asda trolley with...

Government takes concrete steps to cement ties with construction industry 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Taliban commander hails success of internet roll-out. 4
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Qari Ahmadullah, 47, a district commander and community outreach worker in Kandahar province, has hailed the success of a pilot scheme to supply local teenagers with laptops and access to the...

New ‘Ed Mil-ogram’ set to take birthday party scene by storm 12
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Forget Stripograms and Kissograms, the latest craze for birthday parties is an Ed Mil-ogram. This new offering will see the Labour leader deliver a message of your choice and then spend the evening...

Friday Nights In Thorne, South Yorkshire Will Never Be The Same Again....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Since the death of shopkeeper, Billy Tomkins (nicknamed Billy The Swill) due to his prowess of removing vomit, in next to no time, from his shop doorway., Mourners are thus advised not to drink too...

A23 southbound closed after child’s backpack sheds load over both carriageways 0
Newsquelch 3 years

Drivers travelling from London to Gatwick or Brighton are being urged to re-plan their journeys and allow extra time after southbound traffic was brought to a standstill this morning at around 8:00. ...

Popular Russian "Down And Out" Antifreeze Drinks To Be Exported To UK..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Initial target will be British tramps, but could go nationwide if the recession worsens...

Teacher paid £80k after leaving work says she "was doing a lot of marking" 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Nicolas Sarkozy confirmed as "world's smallest frog" 0
simonjmr 3 years
The 100 year collision course with James Corden 12
Newsquelch 3 years

In 1910, an British engineer called John Pottersby made a number of predictions about what the world in 2010. How did he do? 10 predictions that Pottersby got right 10 - Squeezy Marmite “The...

Funny names invented to relieve tedium of US campaign, Mitt and Newt confess 2
Clarky 3 years

Worthy of more later ?...

Cameron To Sell Off Scotland To McDonalds....... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."The Burghers of Edinburgh are lovely, dear."...

Ken Loach to direct Happy Feet “ The Heroin Years” 3
Gary Stanton 3 years

Ken Loach is to direct the sequel to Happy Feet after David Cameron called on the UK film industry to produce more blockbuster movies and less depressing shit about council estates. Cameron said...