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Alan Johnson's wife quits to spend more time with his bodyguard. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years
‘Being Shadow chancellor is interfering with my post round’ claims Johnson 1
Gerontius 3 years

Labour’s Shadow chancellor Alan Johnson is to step down from front line politics with immediate effect in order to spend more time doing his post round., Johnson, who has struggled to combine the...

US/China Trade Deal In Jeopardy 0
Textbook 3 years

after Obama's disparaging remarks about the karaoke evening Hu dragged him to...

New Bankers Book of Divination published called the "Ker-Ching". 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Obama gives visiting Chinese leader tour of thriving US industry, Walmart 3
Dumbnews 3 years
Autoglass censured for comparing windscreen replacement with world disasters 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

In a ruling today the Advertising Standards Authority has blocked the latest batch of Autoglass adverts stating that their approach was wildly inappropriate. “Previous radio runs where, for...

Alan Johnson insists" police officers should see every crime victim" 0
melody 3 years

and not give the Victims wife a seeing to...

Heart Surgeons Use Chisels To Craft Andrew Lansley A New Granite Aorta. 0
awriter 3 years

Heart Surgeons Use Chisels To Craft Andrew Lansley A New Granite Aorta. More soon...

Parents Of Underachievers Call For Failure Ceremonies 0
Textbook 3 years

"It's not right is it?" says Shirley Bangs, 35 yo mother of three. "It's just bloody typical of the system here, that they only award and acknowledge those that 'pass'. What about all the poor...

Alan Johnson resigns for no particular reason.... 0
deskpilot3 3 years

pressure builds on Eric Illsley...

Silvio Berlusconi to be neutered 6
Ludicity 3 years

Italy’s Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is to be taken to a vet to have his testes removed, the Italian government has confirmed. ‘He has become unmanageable,’ said President Giorgio...

Sarcasm unseated as “lowest form of wit” by Tramadol Nights, in Channel 4 poll. 2
Doylem 3 years
Prisoners promise not to run off after voting 3
Gerontius 3 years

Fears that prisoners would simply run off after posting their vote in the ballot box have forced the Government to re-think proposals to give inmates the vote., Concerns were also raised that...

“We fight alone at the next election”, says Clegg... 1
Doylem 3 years

“We shall contest the next election as a fully independent party”, announced Nick Clegg today, “without any preference for coalition partners. We will fight the next election without a...

Goldman Sachs sets aside $15bn for bonuses. There should be a joke here. Sorry. 0
Doylem 3 years
it's been 37 years 3
Lord Lucan 3 years

where am i ?...

Short'nin' bread proved no better than placebo in clinical trials. 4
rikkor 3 years
"Baby Doc" tells Haiti Court he now deserves to be called "Toddler Doc" 0
bonjonelson 3 years
BBC appeals for new murder for next week's Crimewatch. 1
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"If necessary a rape or aggravated burglary will do", a spokesman said...

As EasyJet profits tumble, passenger lists “must include at least one pilot”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Live Review- Rolling Stones Complete Concert Without Playing Satisfaction 1
Textbook 3 years

An hour into a rousing show at London's O2 Arena, things were going great. After a speech from Mick Jagger in which he and the crowd mutually agreed to pretend that the opening set by Scouting For...

Murder rate reduced “unacceptably” by high price of petrol... 0
Doylem 3 years

Joe Mann, apprentice serial killer, laments the impact that high petrol prices are having on his new business. “Serial killers have traditionally spread their net more widely than their immediate...

Baroness Warsi suprised that "people object to being blown up without warning" 0
A Crooked MP 3 years
Unpaid parking fine “may undermine Berlusconi’s reputation for statesmanship”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Honeymoon man "suffering stress" - doh! 1
ironbridgeboy 3 years

A man accused of ordering the murder of his wife on honeymoon in South Africa is suffering stress, a court hears doh. whether he's innocent or guilty I'm guessing he's suffering from stress from...

Colombian drug-smuggling pigeon captured - Mutley finally gets his medal 2
Ian Searle 3 years
US and China agree on common ground, the Korean border for the next war. 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Isle of Wight votes to welcome careless drivers... 2
Doylem 3 years

Bill Sawyer, Mayor of Shanklin, celebrates this landmark decision. “The votes are in and the people have spoken. It’s official: careless drivers are now as welcome on the Isle of Wight as careful...

West Ham gangsters in premature takeover of Olympic Stadium 1
fun and games 3 years

East End gangsters, acting on behalf of West Ham United, have stormed the Olympic Stadium and have taken it over ‘with immediate effect’, jeopardising its use for London 2012 and telling...

World wonders exactly what Silvio Berlusconi has to do before he gets the sack. 11
Doylem 3 years