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'Clearasil' shares in spot of bother as teenagers stay indoors. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Company heads pore over latest results...

Noddy gets a Holder himself and escapes annual slaying early. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Legendary fuzzface, Noddy Holder awoke this this morning to the sound of "IT'S CHRISTMAS" on local radio station SH1 TFM, and knew it was time to pack his platforms. Despite earning around £1.25...

Sir Jimmy Saville’s coffin encased in concrete “just to be sure” 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Evo-stick announce business is insolvent 0
charlies_hat 3 years
In today's Daily Star: 2
vertical 3 years

Katie Price answers your questions on thermodynamics & Planck's blackbody law...

Hacking probe judge denies being a puppet. Nation can clearly see the strings 0
grottymonty 3 years

Victims of Lloyd Grossman sauce botulism to undergo keyhole surgery 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Santa Claus issues prior notice of strike action citing inadequate pension. 0
Mr Pineapple Lumps 3 years

Union representatives for Santa Claus issued a prior notice of strike earlier today citing poor work conditions and inadequate pension planning as the basis for a strike planned for 25 December this...

Internationals. Latest Score: Arab Spring 3 - European Autumn 2 5
pinxit 3 years

Still playing...

Gary Barlow accuses Take That of being predictable, announces dubstep album 7
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Take That star Gary Barlow has been casting his critical judging eye over his own band, and has reached the conclusion that they are ‘predictable’. The same damning criticism that the...

Burlusconi to quit Italy and set up new political party in Libya 0
grottymonty 3 years

"I want nothing to do with countries where democratically elected leaders are simply thrown out of office."...

Nintendo target fatties with Wii-Unfit 0
vertical 3 years

After complaints that exercise games are too demanding, enter Wii Unfit which dispenses with leaping round the lounge waving a plastic bat because it's uniquely controlled by brainwaves. You just...

Colonel Gaddafi found: Working as a Fatima Whitbread lookalike. 2
whickerman 3 years
Worlds rarest comic to be sold at auction. 0
DavidBlame 3 years

The Worlds rarest and oldest comic will go under the hammer today at a much anticipated auction in London., After years of investigation, researchers tracked Roy Winterly 102, to a nursing home in...

OFCOM condemns Channel5 for showing The Great Escape “too early” 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

2,500 calls were made to the regulator following the screening of The Great Escape last Sunday evening Every call was a husband in either shock or blind panic. Colin Jones is a prime example...

Newspaper security fear for jobs as Leverson asks 'who guards The Guardian?' 0
Perks 3 years
‘The Only Way is Essex’ film crew still searching for Effing Forest 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Greek Bonds rally sharply as new Prime Minister Mr Flushthelotofos takes charge! 1
Mr Pineapple Lumps 3 years

Markets rallied strongly Monday as fears of the Greek debt contagion saga abated following news that Greek prime minister Mr Flushthelotofos moved decively to appoint experienced minsters to key...

Jarrow March update (day 4) 2
Gerontius 3 years

Geordie boy band ‘3.14’ waiting for marchers to arrive at the 2nd burger van...

Elastoplast Manufacturers campaign for more cuts. 4
DavidBlame 3 years

Full story soon...

'i' says 'positive' discrimination is a 'real' problem 1
kga6 3 years
Dunstable Town council takes drastic action on a weighty problem. 1
godly1966 3 years

Dunstable Town council has announced it is to take drastic action to reduce the growing problem of obesity inflicting the town. From the 1st of January all fast food restaurants and takeaways will be...

Pub profits soar as ban on 'verbal' bear baiting is lifted 7
3 years

Publicans are witnessing a return to profitability, thanks to the ban on bear baiting being lifted. Pub landlords have long blamed the ban for a decline in custom, but new guidelines have brought the...

Scots scientist admits deep frying Mars probe. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Church forgets Remembrance Sunday 0
Immunis 3 years

'What, with all the tents outside and the dean leaving, the fact that we needed to hold a Remembrance Sunday service completely slipped my mind' said Dr Richard Chartres, the Bishop of London. More...

Naming rights to Mike Ashley won by consortium of Newcastle Fans 3
reforse 3 years
Pensioner, 69, has sex swap on NHS and immediately extends life expectancy. 2
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Donna, formerly Donald from Marblethorpe, was also expected to reclaim 5 extra years of pension backpay...

Tech giants race to create solutions to problems that don't exist 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Italians deny pandering to comedians as Monty Python forms government 0
apepper 3 years

Monty Python is to form the next Italian government after a frantic weekend of negotiation and remininceses by officials. "It's been a tough weekend", said a spokesman, "but I think we have the...

Barbie sacked by Mattel following claim that Kaye Bray is a role model 0
medici2471 3 years