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Cheers! Osborne orders a gottle o geer over economic good news

Ventriloquist dummy lookalike George Osborne was jubilant today as the economy stopped going down the pan quite so fast and hopes his family’s experience in the wallpaper business will be...

0
Reg Herring 26.10.12 6:42am
Reg Herring
Trading Standards warn "It's not just dodgy car dealers putting the clocks back"

while sales soar for Black & Decker drills with the special attachment...

1
DorsetBoy 26.10.12 6:27am
Gerontius
Eastenders actress runs out of fags

Chain-smoking Eastenders character Dot Branning says she is ready to return to the long running soap after finally running out of fags., Back in February Branning had told executive producer...

5
Uncle Bertie 26.10.12 6:01am
Yikes
City traders warn of ‘Jehad-Virgin’ shortage

Commodity brokers are concerned that the world’s stock of suitable martyr virgins is being used unsustainably. “Every business has to deal with the challenges of the market and the...

7
dvo4fun 26.10.12 6:00am
Yikes
Riot police mobilised as protestors call for nationalisation of accountants

Riot police were deployed on the streets of London as the so-called 'Accountancy Riots' entered their third day. A group of protestors- thought to include the poor- converged on the pavement outside...

0
grumblechops 26.10.12 2:33am
grumblechops
Ford workers spend whole day at pub "toasting UK's return to growth" 0
grumblechops 25.10.12 10:57pm
grumblechops
Italian seismologists blamed for decades of knee tremblings in Shepherds Bush 3
Dick Everyman 25.10.12 10:54pm
Cinders
O-taeN 0
Iscariot 25.10.12 8:46pm
Iscariot
Jimmy Savile to star in remake of "300"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20081021...

0
Iscariot 25.10.12 8:38pm
Iscariot
Incontinent dyslexic launches this year's Poopy Appeal 1
Nails UK 25.10.12 7:53pm
button
Cameron Puts His Thick Makeup On Latest Economic Statistics.....

"Gee, Osborne, you're right, it's become a fat 1%."...

0
Jesse Bigg 25.10.12 6:39pm
Jesse Bigg
Pudsey arrested for making touching children's films. 0
wallster 25.10.12 5:22pm
wallster
Suspicions aroused by First Great Western weekend timetable

The Department of Transport has launched an investigation into First Great Western following allegations that they are attempting to massage their performance figures this weekend. A close...

0
Not Amused 25.10.12 4:40pm
Not Amused
Cher to be the face of 'the end of British Summer Time' 2
simonjmr 25.10.12 4:16pm
custard cream
iPad mini prototype ‘lost’ due to infinitesimal size

Embarrassed Apple executives have confessed that the only prototype of the iPad mini in existence has been misplaced, and can’t be found. Experts believe that because the tablet is the thinnest...

0
Connews 25.10.12 3:56pm
Connews
Cher anthem to close out British Summer Time 2012

The song is - 'If I Could Turn Back Time'...

0
custard cream 25.10.12 3:56pm
custard cream
Bus drivers demand £500 bonus for putting the clocks back

Bus chiefs and unions were locked in last-ditch talks today after they failed to agree a nationwide £500 package deal for drivers as compensation for putting the clocks back an hour this weekend. A...

0
25.10.12 3:22pm
Dr Raj Persaud claims rights to 7 Le Tour victories after Armstrong doping case 0
simonjmr 25.10.12 3:22pm
simonjmr
Police to investigate Savile in relation to Twycross Zoo elephant abuse case 0
simonjmr 25.10.12 2:55pm
simonjmr
Gritty cigar ash warning as hurricane Sandy hits Havana 1
custard cream 25.10.12 2:50pm
seymour totti
Barrack Obama to cast early vote for 2016 presidential elections 0
simonjmr 25.10.12 2:49pm
simonjmr
BBC 2 rebranded as "Dave -1" 1
seymour totti 25.10.12 2:24pm
custard cream
Duncan Smith: ‘we’re on a roll’ with Social Mobility

In a robust parliamentary speech, Iain Duncan Smith, one of the few Westminster MPs with a semi-detached surname, has hailed recent Government statistics as proof of an improving social mobility. ...

1
dvo4fun 25.10.12 2:21pm
beau-jolly
No turning back for BBC over accusations of wandering hands 0
charlies_hat 25.10.12 1:30pm
charlies_hat
Rediscovered Shakespeare play is early 'Carry On' script.

A recently unearthed manuscript believed to be by the great Bard himself has been identified by literary scholars as an early 'Carry On' comedy. The script is in rough draft and includes many title...

2
wallster 25.10.12 1:22pm
wallster
GMT rethink - 'Octuple Summer Time' urged for UK's health, economy

With new reports claiming nearly two-thirds of Britons are overweight or obese – making us the fattest country in Europe – health experts are suggesting that putting our clocks forward 8 hours...

11
Golgo13 25.10.12 1:07pm
dvo4fun
UKIP propose putting the clocks back to 1972 0
DustyBinLaden 25.10.12 1:00pm
DustyBinLaden
Supermarket check outs to offer flashback services.

“Do you want cashback?” It’s a ritual question asked millions of times a week at supermarket checkouts. Now though, new technology means customers may soon be offered a flashback with their...

2
nickb 25.10.12 12:42pm
dvo4fun
Man who buys sensitive face wash “has expressive eyelids” says girlfriend.

“Male grooming’s like a dirty word to a lot of men,” says Berenice Hall, a trainee nail therapist from Yeovil. “But my boyfriend Stan really does have a sensitive face, which makes him well...

1
nickb 25.10.12 12:41pm
beau-jolly
Osborne declares UK ready for third dip. 0
weematt 25.10.12 12:32pm
weematt