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Imperial rule not OK 0
OldThingy 3 years

Despots wish to rule the world dashed when he lost his tape measure., His imperial desires thwarted by a metric of the light...

Silence 1
OldThingy 3 years

“Mommy, Mommy, what is silence?”, “Quite dear, I’m trying to watch television.”...

Statue of Shane McGowan unveiled in Dublin. 0
riesler 3 years

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/51466000/jpg/_51466345_011413013-1.jpg...

Produc placement payout claims 'could total millions' 1
Zadok the second 3 years

After years of not being rewarded for his tireless efforts at product placement, Chester-based actuary Marcus Webb has finally submitted invoices totalling £4.3million to several international...

‘Delusional’ Gaddafi ready to use mustard gas against meerkats 2
Gary Stanton 3 years

Colonel Gaddafi’s grip on reality slipped even further last night after he threatened to use mustard gas against the African continent’s meerkat population . The dictator claims the animals, of...

BA cabin crew back ‘No-Fly’ zone 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Colin Firth - Trauma Shocker ! 0
3 years

Childhood Trauma may have caused Colin Firth to become 'a lovie'. In an emotional interview, the suave, classically trained actor revealed that as a lad "his, Scottish Nan would box his ears and...

Government promises cull of Ruddy Ducks, Bloody Geese and Soddin' Swans 0
Skylarking 3 years
Oops 0
Skylarking 3 years

You didn't see me - OK?...

Boris Johnson suggests image of Mohammed as new Olympic logo 0
ianslat 3 years
Organisers deny rumours Joseph of Arimathea to appear at Glastonbury 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Libyan spiders 'really angry' about no-fly zone 0
Zadok the second 3 years

(with thanks to Duncan, it's, it's like comedy jazz, you play the theme, I'll riff off it)...

Controversial duck cull hailed a success, but not by ducks 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
EU insurance judgement leads to launch of Bruceandsheilas' Wheels 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
New British Gas Pricing Based on Da Vinci Code 2
LizzyG 3 years

Following harsh criticism of energy providers’ obscure pricing policies British Gas are introducing a new simplified system based on Dan Brown’s best-selling novel The Da Vinci Code. Customers...

Gaddafi ‘doolally’, says US ambassador... 0
Doylem 3 years

Having watched a recent interview by the BBC, Susan Rice, US Ambassador to the UN, has called Colonel Gaddafi “delusional”, “out of touch with reality” and “patently not the full dinar”....

To stop loud iPods, Bose releases iPod cancelling app for iPhone 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Charlie Sheen to rely on sales of furniture polish for future income... 0
be reasonable 3 years

more drugs soon...

Gaddafi downgraded from "has-been" to "never-was" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Conservatives Do Away With GMT 0
Chunky Monkey 3 years

David Cameron, The Prime Minister today announced his intentions to do away with the nasty Greenwich Mean Time., In his weekly address to the combined Houses of Parliaments, he stated it was...

“Go Now” Gaddafi tells Clegg 3
bunuryd 3 years

Colonel Gaddafi has called on Nick Clegg to put an end the bitter in-fighting by standing down. He says that although Clegg came to power in an initial rush of revolutionary zeal after the overthrow...

Gaddafi has to stay for as long as it takes 0
4ty2 3 years

to remove any traces about acquiring Sadams nuclear arsenal to buy himself into the arms of western leaders whilst freeing him of the unpopular evidence and the involvement of British and US arms...

Shortage of swatters 0
OldThingy 3 years

There is going to be a serious problem in the planned No Fly Zone over Libya as there is a shortage of swatters. However, Aerosols may be used in swarm conditions (at least I think that's what they...

GP Commissioning looks to ComparetheMeerkats.com to secure best hospital deals 1
Mrs Pudsey 3 years

Under the coalition, the NHS will undergo the most radical reforms since it was implemented in 1948, which will see GP’s deciding which services it buys from a range of hospitals. Dr Denis Kipper...

"Gadaffi, Duck" Warning to Libyan Leader over Sniper Assasin Plot 6
Quaz 3 years

Libyan leader Mohammar Gadaffi is said to be in fear of a shadowy assasin known only as "Elmer Fudd" who may be seaking to blow his beak round to the back of his head. The news follows moves from the...

Gaddafi agres to consessions: 0
LostLad 3 years

Libya to hold referendum on introducing Alternative-Vote system...

High Speed Rail Link "Gets to Birmingham Too Quickly" say Londoners 0
nilbymouse 3 years

Transport secretary Philip Hammond confirms train "much faster on way back"...

North Korea Foregoes Nuclear Weapons, Threatens Obama With Rusty Crowbars 0
Textbook 3 years

In North Koreas's struggling and starvation ridden economy, the practicality of devoting so many resources to building and maintaining a nuclear weapons programme has long been an issue of debate...

Vatican city claims aetheism is a weapon of 'mass' destruction 0
Ddigon o broblem 3 years

more to follow...

BP share price boosted by massive oil find in Cameron 0
antharrison 3 years

BP engineers, looking for new soures of oil, have reported a major find in the dictator state of Cameron. 'The thick oily stuff was billowing out of every orifice we found, it was horrible, but...