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Jailing Of UK Criminals To Be Outlawed Following EU Ruling

Prisoner's rights organisations were jubilant last night after the European parliament decreed that law breakers in the United Kingdom can no longer be incarcerated as this could be deemed as "cruel...

Jonny Shlep 23.11.12 4:14pm
Jonny Shlep
Women ‘not man enough’ to be church leaders

Women are going to need to seriously ‘man up’ before they’re given a shot at the top jobs in the church, claims a leading bishop. ‘Women just don’t make great paedophiles, queer bashers or...

DustyBinLaden 23.11.12 3:42pm
Met Police Intelligence Unit takes lead in UK oxymoron poll.

Neat-o but too late I see. Excuse: Currently in USA, six hours adrift of the real time of day...

weematt 23.11.12 3:05pm
Sculptor misses out on Alex Ferguson statue unveiling as guide dog gets lost. 0
Gaz 23.11.12 3:03pm
Peter Kay fans call him a Southern sell-out after he tells joke about Birmingham 0
Gaz 23.11.12 2:45pm
Shockwaves felt at EU budget summit as someone recognises Nick Clegg 0
Gaz 23.11.12 2:41pm
The Specials' Terry Hall surprised at BBC Director General appointment

After recent scandals the BBC has decided to appoint the former Specials front Many Terry Hall as it's new Director General. Sir Chris Patten said that Hall had the "It Ain't What You Do (It's the...

simonjmr 23.11.12 1:15pm
'Ice Cream' murder woman given Hundreds and Thousands...

Of hours in prison...

victimms 23.11.12 12:24pm
EU Budget talks latest: 'I fought Delors and Delors won' concedes Cameron 4
custard cream 23.11.12 12:24pm
GCHQ Intelligence decipher pigeon code: "I'm hiding from Dastardly and Muttley" 0
charlies_hat 23.11.12 12:04pm
Twitter announces downtime. Sky News tell journalists not to bother coming in. 0
Gaz 23.11.12 10:14am
BBC to be more honest with programme titles

In continuing efforts to restore trust in the BBC, programme makers are looking into the possibility of using titles that more accurately reflect the programme contents. A spokesperson for the BBC...

Smart Alex 23.11.12 9:55am
London Mayor unveils tribute to G20 victim and launches 'Bozza Buggy' scheme

Boris Johnson took the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone today when he unveiled a plaque to victim of 'police mismanagement', Ian Tomlinson, and launched a wheelchair version of his...

pinxit 23.11.12 9:42am
Millionaire-rage error as B&Q boss is packed flat

A drug rehab worker from Slough is facing a charge of assaulting Martyn Phillips, the CEO of DIY retail giant B&Q. “Martyn spent a few days with us filming our work and I’d recognized him...

dvo4fun 23.11.12 9:36am
Prisoners react badly to loss of voting rights

Parliament’s decision to refuse MPs the right to vote has been met with disappointment among the ranks of the serving prisoner population. The prime minister announced that the UK took the view...

fernandomando 23.11.12 9:08am
Turmoil as Supreme Governor of the Church of England revealed to be a woman 0
pinxit 23.11.12 8:59am
Britain to upgrade to French style EU membership, where you get to ignore rules 0
ronseal 23.11.12 1:32am
Lord Pattern backs Lord Hall in helping BBC recover from Lord McAlpine row. 0
bonjonelson 22.11.12 11:15pm
Patten denies new BBC Director General 'appointed by Abramovich' claim 1
custard cream 22.11.12 10:56pm
seymour totti
Lord McAlpine wins Twitter Trender 2012 Award 2
custard cream 22.11.12 10:24pm
Click HERE to libel Lord McAlpine 0
Gaz 22.11.12 10:13pm
English Channel island 'proven not to exist'

A large island long believed to be located in the English Channel a few miles off the county of Hampshire and separated from the mainland by a strait called the Solent, does not exist, according to...

roybland 22.11.12 10:11pm
Newsbiscuit pays undisclosed damages to 80s pop star. Editor to step down. 0
MADJEZ 22.11.12 8:52pm
Specials singer Terry Hall takes over as head of BBC 0
MADJEZ 22.11.12 8:39pm
No racism charge for the man in very, very dark grey... 0
Tripod 22.11.12 6:09pm
Church of England Bishops to officiate naked - "to be on the safe side"

The General Synod of the Church of England have agreed that in future all bishops must be naked for any church service. A spokesman explained; "It seems sensible to be sure that no women have...

apepper 22.11.12 6:06pm
Tony Hall quits managing bunch of shrill divas to work at BBC... 1
Skylarking 22.11.12 5:31pm
..........not funny, or clever. A lesson to us all about posting in haste 0
charlies_hat 22.11.12 4:57pm
Osborne announces plans to nationalise teenage boys wank banks

George Osborne today announced a £100m plan to take teenage boys wank banks into state ownership. More soon...

simonjmr 22.11.12 4:16pm
Archbishop forms unlikely pact with Amazon

Following the recent vote on women bishops, the Archbishop of Canterbury the right reverend Maximus Beard has turned to an unlikely ally. After many hours of praying for inspiration about how to...

Diogenes 22.11.12 4:07pm
Socratic Irony