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Shock report - Syrian rebels are not always very nice fellows

A shock report today shows that rebels fighting the Syrian government don't always behave like sporting gentlemen and jolly good chaps. A spokesman for the general public said: 'This is all very...

0
John Wiltshire 18.09.13 9:32am
John Wiltshire
Prince William and Prince Harry put down by MOD

The Ministry of Defence has defended a decision to put down two royal princes following Prince William's final shift as a search and rescue pilot at RAF Valley, in Anglesey, last week. The decision...

0
ChesterField 18.09.13 9:25am
ChesterField
Clegg: 'Coalitions are great for Britain, as long as we're in them'

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg said today that coalition government is better for Britain than single-party rule. 'I think we've conclusively demonstrated the value of a coalition,' he said. 'Looking at...

0
John Wiltshire 18.09.13 9:22am
John Wiltshire
Salmond claims 'Independent Scotland could win Eurovision Song Contest'

With exactly one year to go to the referendum on Scottish independence, Alex Salmond has spoken of his dream for the country to triumph in the prestigious Eurovision song competition. 'Scotland has...

0
antharrison 18.09.13 9:11am
antharrison
Shane MacGowan enlisted as ‘Drunk Tank Czar’... 0
Tripod 18.09.13 8:54am
Tripod
Grand Theft Auto V rapped for ‘poor provision of disabled parking spaces’... 1
Tripod 18.09.13 8:37am
NewBiscuit
Antisemitic poacher admits to hunting rabbis

"Shhh. Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm huntin' wabbi"...

0
NewBiscuit 18.09.13 8:32am
NewBiscuit
Lib-Dems to re-launch as Boy Band

The Lib-Dems will sensationally reposition its self today in Glasgow by re-launching itself as a Boy Band. The Band will be known as “All Directions” in line with current party thinking and will...

13
Scronnyglonkle 18.09.13 8:01am
Oxbridge
Crooked players 'help to take the uncertainties out of snooker'...

Brian Cathcart, head of World Snooker, put a positive spin on the news that some players are conspiring with bent bookmakers by deliberately throwing matches. “Snooker has traditionally been a...

0
Tripod 18.09.13 7:56am
Tripod
Clegg pledges to abolish nutrition fees 8
Lens Cap 18.09.13 6:22am
Not Amused
Sad Xmas party incident forces office politician to give 'speech of his life'

Office politician Phil Butcher must deliver 'the speech of his life' at the IT department's annual conference in Brighton, after a series of scandals have threatened to destroy his career in...

0
ronseal 18.09.13 5:58am
ronseal
Fruit of the Loom to release new film

Fruit of the Loom to release new film based loosely on American waists entitled, "The Expandables."...

1
Captaintrod 17.09.13 11:21pm
Middle-aged man still thinks about argument he lost eight years ago...

Julian Wordsworth, a middle aged man currently residing in Surrey, has recently admitted to friends that he has become 'consumed' by the process of going over arguments he had a long time ago in his...

1
TobiasBV 17.09.13 11:18pm
Cruise ship engineers rushed in to salvage 'beached Eric Pickles'

The pioneering engineers responsible for successfully salvaging the stricken Costa Concordia cruise ship are facing their 'most gruelling challenge yet' today, after Conservative politician Eric...

2
Jesus H 17.09.13 11:16pm
Firefighters reminded to close cover before striking. 0
Boutros 17.09.13 11:11pm
Boutros
Miles Cyrus to star in film - Dances with Dwarves 0
Smart Alex 17.09.13 9:54pm
Smart Alex
M&S unveils new niqab fashion line

Full-face veils will soon be on sale at branches of Marks & Spencer as the company moves to boost its flagging women's fashion sales. And retail analysts are predicting that the M&S Theresa...

1
roybland 17.09.13 9:42pm
Squudge
Man 'agrees' he’s hooked on Terms and Conditions texts

Clapham man Matthew Landon (23), who claims to have read the Terms & Conditions attached to thousands of products and services, says his obsession began when he started to read those relating to...

2
roybland 17.09.13 8:46pm
Dumbnews
Grand Theft Auto VI to include Isle of Wight gameplay...

The next version of Grand Theft Auto will include game-playing locations that are closer to home well, closer to home for those gamers who happen to live in Shanklin, Ventnor or Cowes. Grand Theft...

0
Tripod 17.09.13 8:27pm
Tripod
Mass murderer "had mental health issues" - no news on Pope's religion

More bleeding obvious news to follow...

0
apepper 17.09.13 7:37pm
apepper
Aretha Franklin try-out on Just a Minute “disastrous” say fans

“The recording was going extremely well, initially” recalled Jamie Smythe, a member of the studio audience for the BBC Radio 4 favourite Just a Minute last week. “Aretha had chalked up a...

14
nickb 17.09.13 6:53pm
Boutros
Separate Neat-O Room saves day for satirical news website 6
Boutros 17.09.13 6:22pm
Ref Minor
Clegg denies compromise as free meals offered to all children over 40

More to follow...

0
apepper 17.09.13 6:02pm
apepper
Lib Dem Free School Meal Plan “an electoral time bomb”, say 6 year olds.

“If I have to eat school rice pudding I am never voting for the Lib Dems,” said 6 year old political commentator Daisy Smythurst. “People like me will now want a chance to look at the Labour...

0
nickb 17.09.13 6:00pm
nickb
Concern over plans to reintroduce witches to East Anglia

Farmers' groups have reacted with concern to plans to reintroduce witches to East Anglia, after nearly 350 years since they were hunted to extinction, but wildlife groups are keen to downplay the...

6
bonjonelson 17.09.13 4:37pm
raudus
Crucible Burnt Down By Snooker Player Throwing Matches

Sheffield Fire Brigade are believed to have taken several breaks during a lengthy ordeal trying to bring the baize under control...

4
Flugelbinder 17.09.13 4:36pm
Al OPecia
"It's COLD!" Snaps Bad Tempered Meteorologist 0
Flugelbinder 17.09.13 4:06pm
Flugelbinder
Snow White wakes up feeling Randy

Snow White woke up today feeling Randy. 'Funny, I thought there were only seven of you.'she said...

3
17.09.13 4:05pm
Virtual Grand Theft Auto "Too Realistic For Me" Says Stabbing Victim

A 23 Year Old man lies in Hospital today, having been hit by a brick, then stabbed and finally being robbed of his watch, mobile, and copy of the brand new Grand Theft Auto V. "I just hope it...

0
Flugelbinder 17.09.13 3:53pm
Flugelbinder
1c = 33.8f 3
Backup Brian 17.09.13 3:42pm
Landfill