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Derby residents confiscate Christmas lights to prevent November switch on 0
kga6 3 years

A group of residents from the city of Derby have today admitted to confiscating the city's Christmas lights to prevent the planned November 19th switch on. The date, a full 36 days before Christmas,...

John Terry calls Fabregas a 'foriegn C**t' as spanish becomes the new black 1
Perks 3 years
Britains 'Next Still Life Model' signs promotion deal for Tesco *Finest range. 4
Bryan with a Y 3 years

The 'Meat&2Veg' range to be in shops before Christmas...

Testicle bite woman's relief, "It's been hanging over me for a long time" 5
medici2471 3 years
Pyramid Closed For Maintenance 0
moggies 3 years

The Great Pyramid in Egypt was closed Friday, 11/11/11, because it was in need of maintenance. There were concerns that some groups would try to perform magic rituals there due to the unusual date,...

Coronation Street shock as Gary Barlow revealed as Ken's illegitimate son. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Boring X-Factor anecdotes give secret away...

Vodafone to pay 'token tax bill' on 30th November 4
dvo4fun 3 years

Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs have settled a long standing grumble with off-shore tax avoidance and mobile telephone merchants Vodafone. HMRCs David Hartnett has agreed that Vodaphone will pay...

No more live football coverage, as Premier League sanction Syria 0
Perks 3 years
Minister urges public sector workers ‘not to comb hair’ as token strike gesture 0
Clarky 3 years
Union urges '15-minute government' 0
roybland 3 years
Drug dealing dwarf spared jail as only top bunks available. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Bashful prosecution lawyers were left feeling rather dopey yesterday following the sentence handed down. The grumpy judge was less than happy that one member of the jury kept sneezing throughout the...

Tesco bosses say 'bottoms up' as they toast 'Gay Pride London' sponsorship. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

'Race for Life' dropped in favour of the pink pound...

Donkey Sanctuary ‘should have spotted the donkeys were fake’ 2
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

A Donkey Sanctuary admitted today that most of last year's record intake of rescue animals were, in fact, ‘men in quite convincing pantomime donkey costumes, many of them Greek’. It also...

Berlusconi agrees to step down for 15 minutes 0
kga6 3 years
Russian Mars Probe "Could Be Anywhere". 1
mattupchuck 3 years

It has emerged that the Phobos-Grunt spacecraft launched by Russians may or may not have landed on Mars recently. The European Space Agency has said that it is unlikely to be able to salvage much...

James Murdoch admits "We only employ liars, apart from me, obviously" 5
apepper 3 years

James Murdoch has revealed that dishonesty was a job requirement for News International employees. "That's why everyone's evidence contradicts mine.", explained Murdoch...

Cat swinging man moved to larger council flat after submitting video 2
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Blair delight as he brokers peace deal between Confucius and Simple Simon. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

The father of Brit-Pop could hardly contain himself today, as his role in the ongoing dispute between Confucius and Simple Simon was made public. Leaked police files from North Yorkshire Police...

Pensioners cheer as they finally return to 'the good old days'; cold and poor. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Age Concern yet to confirm victory...

X-Factor rapped over discarded johnny. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Berlusconi to resign definitely soon perhaps maybe...unless he changes his mind. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Veterans seek assurances Easter Bunny will wear a poppy next year 2
3 years
Olive Oyl fury as veterans continue to muscle in on her annual Popeye appeal 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Negotiations continue...

Christmas Lights deny being turned on by Justin Bieber. 1
Zadok the second 3 years
Chaos in Chelsea dressing room after sponsor Mobius provides new strips. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
MOD cuts latest: Soldiers only to be paid "when actually fighting". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

Guns to be fitted with stop-watches...

Commonwealth Games to retire to Gold Coast, Queensland in 2018 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Starr and Boardman at war over best 'Comedy German' outfit. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

The balloon well and truly went up today, as Stan Boardman dropped the bombshell that he plans to attend the forgotten comics Christmas Party in his 'hilarious' German outfit. The bubbled-permed...

Italian govt. commemorate armistice day by being dictated to by the Germans 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Egypt closes pyramid, what's the point ? 0
medici2471 3 years