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Yodafone denies owing billions in back-taxes to Jedi Council. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 04.03.12 10:26am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Credit Ratings: who really gives a FF? 0
Nails UK 04.03.12 10:03am
Nails UK
Meteor 'God's anger' over gay marriages warns seventy-three-year old celibate

A fireball witnessed over Britain on Saturday night is a warning from God over David Cameron's plan to allow gay marriages, warns the most senior Roman Catholic cleric in the country. Cardinal Keith...

roybland 04.03.12 9:58am
BBC accused of bias in celebrity dressmaking show 0
Nails UK 04.03.12 9:50am
Nails UK
Decorator admits waiting to apply second coat was 'like watching paint dry' 0
Smart Alex 03.03.12 11:33pm
Smart Alex
Catholic Priest's "bring your nephew to work" day an unprecendented success.

hat-tip to Al McHogan if this works, otherwise blame him/her...

Sinnick 04.03.12 5:48pm
Government in secret talks to privatise itself. 1
bonjonelson 05.03.12 3:12am
Catherine and Pippa agree to "Lez it up a bit" to help ailing newspaper industry

HRH the Duchess of Cambridge and her sister Pippa are reported to have responded positively to a suggestion, from Daily Star owner Richard Desmond, to assist the ailing british newspaper industry by...

antharrison 03.03.12 9:18pm
Le Creuset Fiend
Cruise Captain 'not wearing glasses' whilst knobbing Moldovan dancer court hears

probably need to replace 'whilst knobbing' with 'during fumble'...

Mandy Lifeboat 03.03.12 7:16pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Suicide bomber's family: "It's how he'd have wanted to go." 0
hughesroland 03.03.12 6:24pm
Costa Cruises suspect sabotage by newly formed Starbucks Shipping Co. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.03.12 5:37pm
Thatcher diagnosed with Crone's disease

more later or "Thatcher diagnosed with old Crone's disease" or perhaps neither...

dvo4fun 03.03.12 4:45pm
Conservative MEP defects to President Assad

Tory MEP Roger Mysister has quit the Conservative Party and joined the Assad regime. "In these turbulent times it's clear we need strong leadership like Winston or Margaret would have shown. ...

Mandy Lifeboat 04.03.12 5:49pm
Chelsea FC: cost and timescale of title-winning side makes it 'unfeasible' 0
Mandy Lifeboat 03.03.12 4:12pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Scottish independence could cost English salad growers up to £2.30

If Scotland achieve independence, the English salad growing industry will suffer. "I sold a lettuce to a guy in Stonybridge in 1983 and a case of tomatoes in 2001 - although that was for the audience...

apepper 03.03.12 3:49pm
Xmas truce football match ruined by racist chants, say players.

​Papers realised today by the National Records Office detail how players the 1914 Christmas truce football match expressed their bitter disappointment in the watching fans chanting racist abuse at...

Lemon difficult 03.03.12 3:02pm
Lemon difficult
Frank Carson dies for the very last time....

no more soon...

Jammydodgers 03.03.12 11:47pm
Head of Forestry Commission given the chop

Stop me if you've heard it before...

JohnA 03.03.12 4:04pm
World's most gullible child born yesterday 6
beau-jolly 05.03.12 2:24pm
'Morrissey belongs to Argentina’ say music lovers. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 03.03.12 8:08am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Troops express relief as plot to bring James Blunt to Afghanistan is thwarted.

British forces in Afghanistan breathed a collective sigh of relief today as details emerged of a failed Taliban plot to deploy singing turd James Blunt against servicemen and women on the front line,...

Haywood Manley 03.03.12 5:19pm
NASA computer hackers just playing 'space station invaders' 0
Perks 02.03.12 9:39pm
Cameron "taken for a ride" by News International 0
Drylaw 02.03.12 9:04pm
Army thank Taliban over cancellation of James Blunt gig. 0
MADJEZ 02.03.12 9:03pm
Man who understands new web privacy settings still in toilet.

A new plug in will allow web users to track advertisers who have left cookies on computers of people advertising anti-privacy software that tracks the buying habits of people who shop online but have...

nickb 02.03.12 11:26pm
Feminists Up In Arms About Up In Arms Comment.

Feminists around the country were said today to be furious that allegations have been made by the Men's Movement that becoming a feminist could lead to females so hating men, that they would be...

freemycatfish 03.03.12 11:59am
David Cameron warns Syria 'day of reckoning just a sentence or two away'

David Cameron has warned Syria's President Bashar Assad that he is close to constructing an English sentence or two that will destroy his regime. 'President Assad should know that his day of...

roybland 02.03.12 6:58pm
Rebekkah Brooks "was lent a police force"

A Home Office spokesperson admitted the government lent Rebekkah Brooks a police force while she was editor of the News of the World, and afterwards.  The Home Office also conceded that Tony Blair,...

nickb 05.03.12 8:01am
Vatican's "Bring your daughter to work Day" a dismal failure. 1
Al McHogan 03.03.12 6:50pm
EU leaders sign new "fisting" treaty after shafting Greece 0
simonjmr 02.03.12 3:46pm