The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Freshness |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Lesbian website content revealed to be created by straight men | 1 |  |
charlies_hat | 3 years |
| Fans praying Rincewind The Wizard finds Alzheimers cure before it's too late. | 2 | |
SingingHinny | 3 years |
|
Or Vimes?! Someone must be able to find it!... |
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| Images Of Toast Found In Pictures Of Jesus | 3 | |
Textbook | 3 years |
|
Believers and biblical scholars the world over are flocking to examine reports of the faithful detecting hidden images of toast in pictures depicting Jesus Christ. "Sometimes it's in the folds of... |
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| Gavin Henson in TV row about dignity in dating | 0 | |
Wicked Lady | 3 years |
|
Welsh rugby player Gavin Henson has stirred up a storm by taking part in the live portrayal of dating during a controversial TV show. He said that putting himself in the shoes of ‘The Bachelor’... |
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| Medhi Hasan to be guest Archbishop of Canterbury | 2 | |
ronseal | 3 years |
|
Friends fear that Medhi Hasan may not be irritating enough when he takes over as guest Archbishop of Canterbury. Hasan has impressed in his role as shouty man on TV debates, who knows the answer to... |
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| Cash strapped Londoners shun the Dordogne for hop picking | 0 | |
Dick Everyman | 3 years |
|
The Dordogne is no longer the destination of choice as cash-strapped Londoners head for the hop-fields of Kent. Land Rover Vogues are also no longer de rigueur with JCB and John Deere fast becoming... |
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| Jeanette Winterson condemned for Sexing the Cherry | 0 | |
simonjmr | 3 years |
| New Balls | 2 | |
waggy | 3 years |
|
Andy Murray says winning at Queens should make up for the disappointment of losing at Wimbledon this year... |
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| Govt to enter "go to your room and think about what you've done" period over NHS | 0 | |
SingingHinny | 3 years |
| Little lambs | 5 | |
waggy | 3 years |
|
Lambing Live on each night last week on BBC2, In the old days wouldn’t that have just been a schools programme?... |
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| Iraq probe "couldn't even find the right hole", say lawyers. | 0 | |
SingingHinny | 3 years |
| Admiral warns prolonged Libya campaign may restrict UK forces to 3rd party cover | 0 | |
Duncan Biscuit | 3 years |
| ‘Too many judges sleep through sentencing’ says report | 0 | |
Duncan Biscuit | 3 years |
| Lagarde and Carstens rule themselves out of Birmingham City managerial vacancy | 0 | |
Duncan Biscuit | 3 years |
| Ornithologist who angered Sinatra fans: "Egrets? I've had a few" | 9 | |
FraserWords | 3 years |
|
Keen ornithologist Stephen Gasket was last night thrown out of the Frank Sinatra Appreciation Society after ‘Songs for Swingin’ Plovers’ was declared one pun too many., A clearly upset Gasket... |
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| Al Murray Delighted With Win At Queens. | 12 | |
The All New Jeni B | 3 years |
| Prince Philip's cure for NHS crisis: “Stop bloody whining and get on with it” | 1 | |
FraserWords | 3 years |
|
In a dramatic new U-turn on NHS policy, the Government last night placed the Duke of Edinburgh in charge of sweeping reforms. He acted immediately by telling patients: “Stop bloody whining and get... |
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| Protests as man dies in front of TV cameras: Graham Norton, BBC1, 11.35pm | 1 | |
FraserWords | 3 years |
| Finger Leaking Good | 7 | |
finneyp | 3 years |
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Chaos and scandal have once again reared their ugly heads in the world of fried chicken, after it was announced that Julian Assange was on the verge of leaking the famously secret KFC Original Recipe... |
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| Journalism, business & politics in chaos as computer virus disables all clichés. | 0 | |
be reasonable | 3 years |
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M%!^ s**£... |
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| Spell checker blamed for first 'Boho' soup kitchen | 5 | |
3 years | |
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NY - A clerical error has been blamed for the first 'Boho' soup kitchen. The charitable canteen, located in East Harlem, has already attracted waifs, strays and street artists, keen to 'take in the... |
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| Dam Busters dog renamed 'Cuntface' for movie remake - 2 | 31 | |
rickwestwell | 3 years |
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Stephen Fry, who is writing the screenplay for the remake of the classic Dam Busters movie, has announced that to avoid controversy, the name of the squadron's dog will be changed from the 'N-word'... |
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| Best Oxymoron Of The Year By A Mile...... | 3 | |
Jesse Bigg | 3 years |
|
..voted Number One by the International Writers Association, was the phrase, "Concerned Tory." Cor blimey, who would have guessed it?... |
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| 'You can't sail the Ark Royal down Pall Mall on the Queen's Birthday' | 2 | |
Ironduke | 3 years |
|
A leaked commentary on last year's defence review has revealed the moment of crystal clarity that led to the main burden of defence cuts falling on the Royal Navy. With a firm eye on the images of... |
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| Southern Cross in talks with Wetherspoons landlords | 1 | |
NewSuburbanDad | 3 years |
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Southern Cross, the bankrupt care home provider, confirmed it was close to finalising a deal that could see many of its 30,000 residents looked after 'in the best possible way for the remainder of... |
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| Royal fly-past commitments curtail Arab war distractions for the RAF | 0 | |
Ironduke | 3 years |
| Male sympathiser goes all the way on slutwalk. More soon. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 3 years |
| Liberal guy in Downing Street unveiled as a hoax | 1 | |
simonjmr | 3 years |
| Dignitas to treble intake if suicidal Islamic fundamentalists | 0 | |
4ty2 | 3 years |
|
after Terry Pratchet reveals that Dignitas provides 2 escorts to the customer. Due to popular demand they were unable to provide 72 escorts but requests for younger escorts are currently considered.... |
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| Facebook usage drops in UK & US as users begin to hit puberty. | 0 | |
be reasonable | 3 years |
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