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Ally McCoist concedes defeat in Scottish title race as Celtic take 2 point lead 1
grottymonty 3 years

Football in July?...

India's drop in population blamed on Aunty Abortionists 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
Miliband 'crestfallen' after failed operation to remove Balls 3
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Labour leader Ed Miliband is said to be ‘disappointed’ after waking up in hospital to find that doctors have been unable to remove his Balls. 'I'm crestfallen,' admitted Mr Miliband. 'My...

Ed Miliband has Operation to cure rare form of Apnea that caused others to fall 8
guffaw 3 years
Transformers 4 To Adopt Unusual Marketing Campaign 0
Textbook 3 years

Running out of ways to con audiences into accepting his latest insufferable miscellany of plot-free cacophony, Michael Bay has decided to try a different tack for the inevitable fourth installment in...

Study Shows Many Man Hours Lost By People Reading Newsbiscuit At Work 1
Textbook 3 years

So cut it out...

Comics Publishers Ordered To Alter Misleading Titles 1
Textbook 3 years

The Fair Trading commission today ruled against comic publishing giants such as DC and Marvel and what it considers misleading product titles. "For example" said Justice Schwartz, "we have The...

Speaking clock latest victim of phone hacking scandal 0
bonjonelson 3 years

on the third stroke...

United Utilities justify 50% price hike by rebranding to 'Watre' 0
3 years
MPs conspicuously silent about THEIR pension scheme arrangements... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Nuclear test veterans win Supreme Court appeal bid 1
virtuallywill 3 years

New TurboSmeg-Xtra gives men 148 hour odour protection! 3
Dick Everyman 3 years

TurboSmeg-Xtra for Men Platinum Protect Dynamic Power spray is part of the award winning TurboSmeg Platinum Protect range. Its antibacterial formula, with platinum ions fights bacteria and body odour...

Sarah Payne "I feel like I've been Tangoed". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

Tennis store offers no strings attached coupon for free racket stringing 1
Dumbnews 3 years
New Age Stimulants; Startling Results in Mock Olympics 0
Drylaw 3 years

The world of athletics was given a glimpse into a potential nightmare future today as Sports Science researchers staged a mock "Olympics" in a closed-doors Wembley Stadium to demonstrate the power of...

David Haye retires from boxing citing workplace bullying. 0
Corrigan 3 years

True to his word that he would retire before his 31st birthday in September, having already accomplished all he set out to do, former WBA heavy-weight champion David Haye announced today that he has...

Rebekah Brooks branded a 'Payne in the arse' 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Apple to launch electronic thought-generator: the i-Dea 5
Son of Barnabas 3 years

(with thanks to Mr Blackanddecker for prompting the idea)...

Jaques Tati revealed as Scottish potato grower 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Mare later...

New study says rentable German liver sausage is the leased wurst option 9
ronseal 3 years
Marvel Comics Announces Death Of Stan Lee 11
Textbook 3 years

Superhero comic veterans have experienced the deaths of all sorts of key characters such as Superman, Batman, Captain America and recently the Human Torch. Invariably the shock of these storylines is...

Parents to bail out children once again 0
Flashman 3 years

In a scene all too familiar, parents are dipping into their nest-eggs to bail out their kids. In a report that will have cost the NHS the price of 100 hospital beds, a survey reveals that as children...

Amy Winehouse Foundation announced, for heroin addled complexions. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Green group attempts to block out the sun (working title) 0
snorkyadams 3 years

Washington DC: Supporters of alternative energy lobby group Americans For Long Term Renewable Energy have flocked to the nation’s capital this week, calling on congress to introduce legislation...

Duchess of York’s finances revived by bottled tears deal 0
Milo Shame 3 years

In a final move to stave off complete bankruptcy and to reverse her financial fortunes, Sarah Ferguson has struck a deal with an American fragrance company to bottle and sell her own tears. Chip...

Experimental rejuvenation treatment still trying to iron out the wrinkles 3
beau-jolly 3 years
Ed Milliband's nose operation has unfortunate consequences 0
Son of Barnabas 3 years

Berlusconi evicted from Presidential Palace - moves to a bunga bungalow 1
Son of Barnabas 3 years
Dracula Towers reopens after £47 million revamp 1
Son of Barnabas 3 years
Liam Gallagher: "Noel's a ****ing **** and he ****s ****ing *****ers in ****ery" 0
Son of Barnabas 3 years

Answers on a postcard to:, Noel's House party, Crinkly Bottom, IOW...