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A little weed grasses up Bill and Ben as Flower's pot men 3
irreverendJ 18.11.13 9:05pm
Adopt a FTSE director for Xmas

With winter approaching charities have been forced to make an appeal on behalf of neglected and unwanted company CEOs. As their average pay has only increased by a meagre £3.3m; it is feared that...

Wrenfoe 18.11.13 8:30pm
Al OPecia
Fair Trade ‘Charlie’ Pays Dividends for Co-Op

Taking inspiration from its troubled banking arm, the Co-Operative group has announced that it is branching out into the ‘exciting and lucrative’ market of ethically sourced narcotics....

jp1885 18.11.13 7:50pm
Conspiracy Theorist proved right death of JFK linked to Dr Who's birth!

Yes it is true Dr Who came to life within minutes of the death of US President Kennedy. Dr Who's birth team tried in vain to put the blame on Lee Harvey Oswald. Conspiracy theorists heard others...

2escapees 18.11.13 7:19pm
Root-and-branch review of Flowers 0
medici2471 18.11.13 6:11pm
Psychiatrist suggests insecure man change his password 0
Dumbnews 18.11.13 5:13pm
Search engines to end 'paedophile' spell check support

Leading search engine companies Google and Microsoft will no longer help users spell 'paedophile' in a bold move to block access to paedophilia sites. The internet companies are responding to David...

roybland 18.11.13 4:52pm
Record viewing figures for new series of ‘I’m a Filipino, get me out of here’

Across the country, millions of householders took to their armchairs last night to tune in and laugh once more at the misery of others. They watched as the latest mixed bunch of sad people were...

Midfield Diamond 18.11.13 3:51pm
Vatican installs air pump to test papal inflatability 1
sydalg 18.11.13 1:12pm
Politician praises the Cyruses as a typical hard twerking family 2
ronseal 18.11.13 12:47pm
Irish rugby players, “Don’t give a XXXX ®”

The Irish Rugby Union has criticised its players for not taking Saturday’s game with Australia seriously by turning up sober for the game., After the 32-15 drubbing in Dublin, Ireland’s head...

cinnahmon 18.11.13 12:06pm
Egotists stuck together boring viewers and each other. PMQs every wednesday 0
Not Amused 18.11.13 11:42am
Not Amused
Magners accused of "in cider trading". More soon. 8
Al OPecia 18.11.13 11:07am
Sun, Daily Express, and Daily Mail Merge

Busty blonde Tiffany (22) from Essex predicts coldest winter since records began. Blames immigrants...

Smart Alex 18.11.13 10:19am
Dopey banker gets smack on wrist for buying pot for Flowers

Bank worker Adrian Williams thought he’d carried out his boss’s orders when he returned to the branch with what he thought would cheer the place up a bit. But the manager, Methadonist Minister...

Midfield Diamond 18.11.13 10:17am
Dick Everyman
Road to recovery closed for resurfacing 8
jp1885 18.11.13 10:13am
Dick Everyman
Dimbleby Tattoo: Stakes Raised By Andrew Marr Cock Ring

The playful spat between veteran broadcasters David Dimbleby and Jeremy Paxman has been blown apart after fellow political pundit Andrew Marr appeared on live television sporting a full array of...

jp1885 18.11.13 8:54am
Sub-atomic particles accused of making up stuff

Been done?...

Smart Alex 18.11.13 8:39am
NSA and GCHQ admit that they don't know who killed Kennedy either.

In a dramatic revelation both the NSA and GCHQ admitted they have no idea who killed Kennedy either. The head of GCHQ also admitted that all this surveillance could have been avoided if Clinton, Bush...

ionb 18.11.13 7:38am
Laid back physicist discovers "Dark doesn't matter"

More to follow...

apepper 18.11.13 7:01am
Majority of time on dating websites spent looking at self 0
Dumbnews 18.11.13 2:52am
Man Loses All on Single Game of Pitch-and-Toss – wins Earth and All That’s In It

A gambler from Cheshire was celebrating today after being awarded “the Earth and all that’s in it” following an online game of pitch-and-toss. “I foolishly selected the option for “gamble...

deceangli 17.11.13 11:31pm
Sir Lupus
Guardian apologises for “Teresa May piercing” article

The Guardian’s reader’s editor apologised for the “poor timing” of an article that suggested that Teresa May had a piercing in an undisclosed place. He said: Our writer originally wrote that...

CulchaVulcha 17.11.13 11:21pm
British Shaver Sets a New World Record

A Brit has set a new world record re miniature Japanese flag making, after badly cutting himself while shaving...

Jesse Bigg 17.11.13 11:12pm
Jesse Bigg
Evelyn Waugh novel takes another look at bride's helper: Bridesmaid Revisited 0
Smart Alex 17.11.13 10:02pm
Smart Alex
Church backs call for age of consent to be 15 - "retrospective would be handy"

The Catholic church has backed a call for the age of consent to be reduced, but only if the change is retrospective. A spokesman for the church explained; "This is a an important debate to have in...

apepper 17.11.13 10:00pm
Miley Cyrus buys flat in Barnsley for home t'werking. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.11.13 9:56pm
Al OPecia
North Korea and Iran agree to take Syrias chemical weapons. 0
godly1966 17.11.13 9:45pm
Co-op boss quits to campaign for Mayor of Toronto 0
custard cream 17.11.13 9:39pm
custard cream
Last Chance Saloon finally closes...

The last few years haven’t been kind to the Last Chance Saloon in Cemetery Lane, Bradford. Though well-known to Bradfordians as a friendly local boozer and a reliable source of recreational drugs,...

Tripod 17.11.13 9:20pm