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Clapton, Baker and Bruce to make sweet music on new Cream Blu-Ray 0
Midfield Diamond 02.07.13 1:26pm
Midfield Diamond
Maverick cops now in the majority, says Scotland Yard head of personnel

Scotland Yard has launched a recruitment drive among the happily married community, as the the force has become 'maverick cop heavy'. "There are too many cops pulling stunts, tearing up the rule...

ronseal 02.07.13 1:23pm
Not Amused
Controversial photos taken for new Pirelli calendar <no animals were hurt in the making of this picture>...

Sinnick 02.07.13 1:03pm
Edward Snowden seeks asylum in the USA

Having had his asylum requests rejected by 194 countries, Edward Snowden has asked President Obama if he will let him seek political asylum in the USA, citing the fact that he is being persecuted by...

John Wiltshire 02.07.13 12:53pm
Qu'est que cette, le "Set Square"? Je n'ai pas compris. 5
M Cholet 02.07.13 12:45pm
Not Amused
Glastonberries and creme brulee all the rage at Wimbledon this year 0
Not Amused 02.07.13 12:10pm
Not Amused
Pirelli & F1 agree to stop making tyres from liquorice

Bernie Eccleston has conceded that the move to issue teams with tyres made from liquorice instead of rubber to "make F1 more interesting" has been a PR disaster...

grottymonty 02.07.13 12:01pm
2013 Pirelli calendar withdrawn as models suffer unexpected breast blowouts 0
Nowherefast 02.07.13 11:49am
Police protect chilled transport van from dyslexic mob 0
Not Amused 02.07.13 11:26am
Not Amused
No sighting of Canada in five years prompts fears of extinction 0
cinquecento 02.07.13 10:08am
Mr Falafel 'sick of being asked if he sells falafels'

A Lincoln businessman is considering changing the name of his city centre takeaway just two weeks after first opening its doors to the public, saying he is sick and tired of telling people "about...

Idiot 02.07.13 9:49am
Lindy Moone
Majorette champion glad she gave it a twirl. 0
weematt 02.07.13 9:45am
Dissertation on burnt custard

Neat-O …., Burnt custard, or as they say in France, Crème Brûlée , has not always been a popular desert. Indeed, it did not exist until it was 'discovered' quite by accident in a French kitchen...

weematt 02.07.13 9:14am
Mandela quickly recovered when threatened with NHS treatment

It has now been confirmed that the South African leader spent the last few weeks malingering just for the sake of a comfortable bed and being waited on hand and foot by nurses. The health trust is...

sydalg 02.07.13 9:07am
Sacked elephant handler 'not quite up to the tusk' says boss 5
Dick Everyman 02.07.13 8:55am
Lindy Moone
Controlling stroke victim wife 'in critical condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 8:03am
Humourless heart attack victim 'in serious condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 8:01am
Man trampled by horse 'in stable condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 7:59am
Depressed cartographer wonders where it all went wrong. 4
sredni vashta 02.07.13 7:40am
MP's to be paid in fresh organs

In a compromise agreement Commons Speaker, John Bercow, has agreed not block the proposed £10,000 pay rise for politicians, provided they are remunerated with "flesh of the proletariat". Voters had...

Wrenfoe 02.07.13 7:35am
Powerful Women Prefer Brooms And Mangles To Vacuum Cleaners And Spin Driers 1
Titus 02.07.13 7:23am
Lindy Moone
Two paths diverge in an ORANGE wood

And wishing I could travel both, And be one traveller long I stood, And looked down one as far as I could, To where it bent in the undergrowth I shall be saying this with a sigh, Somewhere ages...

blacklesbianandproudofit 02.07.13 7:03am
UK Government Congratulates China On Destruction Of Smethwick

"A great improvement" said a spokesman for British Tourism...

Titus 02.07.13 7:03am
Sensitive sunbather complains that factor 50 cream burnt her skin 3
Arthur 02.07.13 6:59am
Lindy Moone
Future English Transplant Patients May Get Filled With Welsh Rare Bits

But how about the presumtion of consent by the recipients of parts of Organ Morgan?...

Titus 02.07.13 6:44am
Diplomatic Row With China After Their Lanterns Set Entire UK Ablaze 0
Titus 02.07.13 6:24am
[Entry withdrawn due to obscurity and frailty on contributor's own admission] 2
Arthur 02.07.13 6:17am
Smethwick dairy offers free crème brûlée to firefighters for a week 0
Arthur 01.07.13 10:57pm
Egyptian Army Says "Play nicely Or We'll Shoot You. Oh, And Tidy Your Room." 0
Titus 01.07.13 10:42pm
Smethwick attempt to create largest ever Crème Brûlée ends in disaster 0
FlashArry 01.07.13 10:26pm