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Tom Jones and Ken Hom to front new musical cookery show 'Wok's New Pussycat?' 4
wallster 3 years

Noooo, somebody stop me...

Liverpool prefers 'Small Club' to 'Big Society' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Perm wigs not included...

Mubarak 'to go' When Egypt builds him a Pyramid 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Six other tasks to follow...

Tahrir Square still safer than Albert Square insists Arab League 0
Gerontius 3 years

Looking grim...

Many "cock up" puns expected as 700,000 condoms lost in transit 0
thackaray 3 years
Maria ‘Last Tango” Schneider dies. “Butter-assisted sex will never be the same”. 0
Doylem 3 years
Ambulance doors to be widened, to same size as McDonalds Doors 1
Rowly 3 years

NHS new ruling. If patients can get into McDonalds, they should be able to get into an ambulance for standard treatment. if they cant get into Macdonalds (and therefore an ambulance). they should be...

'Big Society' gutted by Liverpool decision to opt out 0
Gerontius 3 years

A sad day indeed...

Happy slappers say Cairo festival was their most successful ever 0
Fred 3 years
Cadbury launch new lower fat Dairy Milk Bar for same Great Price 5
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

Great news for consumers today as Cadbury announced the launch of their new Dairy Milk bar that contains 14% less fat than before. "It is exactly the same taste" says marketing director Gary...

Disappointment as Ed Miliband lands in Helmand 5
beau-jolly 3 years

Soldiers expecting to enjoy the Steve Miller Band were left disappointed when the Labour leader arrived at Camp Bastion. Commander of Nato forces in Afghanistan, US General David Petraeus said,...

Sherbert dib-dabs hit by double dip. 2
beau-jolly 3 years
Cowell unveils own brand instant ‘pop-noodle’ 6
Gerontius 3 years

After spending the last 10 years fronting hit shows such as X Factor and American Idol, music impresario Simon Cowell is once again set to revolutionise the way we produce musical talent here in the...

Harry Potter to get BAFTA 3
beau-jolly 3 years

The Harry Potter films will receive an outstanding British contribution to cinema prize at this year's Bafta awards, organisers have announced., Potter star Daniel Radcliffe, 21, said he had "loved...

Drug Dealers Congregate on High Street 1
AndyOverhead 3 years

Salisbury Council has today launched a new campaign to free its streets of drugs, following reports of an increased number of dealings in broad daylight. Councillor Rupert Dumfries-Thornton-Jones...

Forestry Commission job cuts set to 'clear out the dead wood' insists Cameron 7
wallster 3 years

Toe curlingly bad joke. Very very sorry...

Al-Quaeda spokesman pleads for “more effective suicide bombing”... 0
Doylem 3 years

An anonymous spokesman for Al-Quaeda, speaking from a sparsely-appointed cave somewhere in the Pashtun Mountains, on the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, addressed the poor results of some...

Liverpool CC opt out of Big Society, millions follow 0
ollyb_1st 3 years

Millions of UK citizens have followed the lead of Liverpool Country Council by writing to David Cameron asking to opt out of the Big Society. One such letter received by the cabinet office read...

Scousers to adopt closed shop society 0
simonjmr 3 years
5 elated, 1500 pleased as news spreads through Cairo of Kate Moss engagement 0
kidkid 3 years
Man’s imagination now “too dull even to fantasise properly’... 0
Doylem 3 years

“Even my sexual fantasies are boring these days”, sighed Brian Fellgate, 47, brutally aware that, having reached middle age, his best days were almost certainly behind him. “My porn stash is so...

Ken, now 50, finally comes to terms with anatominal incorrectness. 1
Ostsee 3 years
Serial killer, Peter Tobin, depressed that he’s “still not a household name”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Ascot races to be moved to Tahir Square 1
wwwiz 3 years

In an effort to gain greater media exposure for the races at Ascot, the Crown Estate announced that the racecourse will be moved to Cairo's Tahir Square. "We reckon that the protests will dissolve...

Tesco's 'What's wrong with the trolley?' quiz becomes instant hit 2
antharrison 3 years

Supermarket giant Tesco was said to be delighted today at the success of its new quiz which allows hapless shoppers to be asked to guess what's wrong with the trolley they are about to select....

Employee Engagement Survey results reveal two are engaged the rest are going out 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Tahir Square protesters turn out to contain Mubarak Flash mob 0
4ty2 3 years

who appeared without warning to secure their "well earned" position in society...

The Molotov Cocktail back in fashion. 0
James 3 years

The Molotov Cocktail is back in fashion. Recently trending in Basra and the Gaza Strip and now becoming the 'must have' drink in Cairo...

The Transport Minister on the bus goes ‘cut-cut-cut, cut-cut-cut,cut-cut-cut’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
‘Daily Telegraph’ asks if tests for human vCJD are getting easier 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years