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John Galliano joins Top Gear team 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

A delighted Jeremy Clarkson today announced that John Galliano will be joining the the Top Gear team in time for the new series., 'He is awesome,' admitted Clarkson. 'There's nowhere he won't go.'...

Local man unable to find "the one" after browsing all the online single profiles 0
Dumbnews 3 years
All-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise God needs your MONEY 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Trying to compress this funnny quote by George Carlin into one-line: "GOD HE LOVES YOU. He loves you, and He NEEDS MONEY! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and...

Virgin Mary unsuccessful on Match.com because not "Down to earth" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Obama Asks Senate, Congress, To Refrain From "Yo Momma" Remarks During Hearings 0
Textbook 3 years
Cameron secures 'No Fly Zone'... as Lossiemouth Tornadoes are grounded. 0
Jammydodgers 3 years

Gadafi sends 'Humanitarian aid' to Morayshire...

Concerned breastfeeding mothers demand home pasturisation kits. 2
Chip Paper 3 years

The seizure of breast milk icecream from a central London restaurant has caused panic among breastfeeding mothers across the Capital. As news spread that both the Health Protection Agency and the...

Hotmail updates signatures to say, "Sent from my hacked PC" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Gorilla Stood Up 0
3 years

Darwin's Theory of Evolution has gone on Fast Forward for 2011. News spread quickly through the Scientific Community which monitors all examples of 'evolution in progress'. The incident was...

Blair and Brown in Britpop Tribute Battle 0
Banking Escapee 3 years

Tony Blair has returned from a “disappointing” solo tour of the Middle East and announced plans to reform Britpop favourites, New Labour. However the iron lunged former lead vocalist will be the...

Covent Garden shop to sell semen-flavoured ice cream 14
Sinnick 3 years

Following the recent success of his human breast milk flavoured ice cream, Matt O'Connor's shop in Covent Garden has announced its intention to sell another novelty brand of ice cream flavoured with...

Zeitgeist Publishing launches Fashist, the hate couture magazine for racists 1
ronseal 3 years
Democratic Republic of Congo gets EU protected status for production of Um Bongo 10
Skylarking 3 years
International assassin reprimanded for playing football during lunch hour 0
antharrison 3 years
Minister for Well-Being Massages Figures. Also Statistics. 0
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years
F.A to charge wigans McCarthy 0
fuzzypopidenticals 3 years

The F.A has charged Wigan’s James McCarthy with dangerous play after being accused of head butting Wayne Rooney’s elbow in sataurdays premier league game at the DW stadium. A spokesman for the...

John Galliano to design UKIP Spring Collection 1
mortal_wombat 3 years

Armbands and jackboots expected to feature heavily...

Climate change backlash camp welcomes latest addition, Santa Claus 0
ronseal 3 years

Santa Claus has come off the fence and joined the climate change sceptics camp. 'Anyone who believes in climate change has got to be a facking simpleton,' he told reporters...

George at ASDA reprimanded after "I love Thatcher" recording is leaked 0
charlies_hat 3 years
John Galliano wins big uniform design contract for British Movement 0
ronseal 3 years

Last night a cock a hoop John Galliano was cracking open the champagne, after clinching the prestigious British Movement uniform account. 'This is the contract everyone in the fashion industry...

Angry Birds Shooting Inquest Begins 0
adambrod66 3 years

Limbless they may be, but armless they surely are not. Angry Birds' recent Suidae-based shooting spree in Cumbria shocked the nation and today an inquest begins into what caused the rampage., The...

JAMAICANS FOLLOW ISLAM 0
3 years

In a surprise move the Jamaican Justice Ministry has granted the wishes of 15 Prisoners on Death Row to be deported to Iran where the convicts then hope to "get Stoned to death"...

ECJ rule that bookmakers must offer equal odds for all bets placed 0
charlies_hat 3 years
European Court of Justice Confirms - Women are "Shite Drivers" (WASD). 0
3 years

In a landmark ruling the ECJ has confirmed what has long been suspected by industry Pundits and Blokes., Apart from sitting bolt-upright (often with the seat back acually 'tilting forwards'), inches...

Insurance Premiums to Change After ECJ Ruling 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

The European Court of Justice (ECJ) has today ruled that insurance companies cannot charge different premiums to car insurance customers based on their gender, age, driving experience, accident...

Pakistan show interest as Davies reveals he bats for the other side. 0
tl72uk 3 years
M.O.t.D. first redundancies announced in defence cuts - Alan Hansen distraught 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Ancelotti takes pot shot at Cole 3
AndyOverhead 3 years

Following Ashley Cole's misinterpretation of Carlo's order to practice shooting, an inside source at Chelsea has said the manager is fuming with Cole, and that plans have been delayed to take the...

Colin Farrell is bookies favourite for Kings Speech sequel 0
Banking Escapee 3 years

The foul mouthed, hell raising Irish actor Colin “Bullseye in Daredevil” Farrell has emerged as the likely favourite to succeed Colin Firth in the sequel to Oscar favourite, The Kings Speech. ...

Millions who protested changes to Facebook now inexplicably silent 1
Dumbnews 3 years