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Suarez reignites row in handshake snub with Queen

The Queen was left fuming after Luis Suarez dramatically snubbed her in a handshake line-up as the pair went face-to-face. The Queen, angered by the snub had to be pulled back with Prince Phillip...

0
hardev 27.06.12 4:10pm
hardev
Indian mystic draws the line at walking across a pit of lego

An Indian mystic who regularly walks across red hot coals and broken glass has today withdrawn from an attempt to walk across an 11 ft pit of lego. "I have thought long and hard about this challenge...

10
simonjmr 27.06.12 4:02pm
Salmon of Knowledge
Seb Coe "gutted" as Steve Cram beats him to Torch handover 0
grumblechops 27.06.12 3:23pm
grumblechops
Forum user discovers sexuality after being called gay online

Frequent game forum user FantasyFan9797 was online one evening when he made a startling self discovery, whilst writing a forum post about his favorite game Zelda: Ocarina of Time, fellow forum user...

4
confuzzled 27.06.12 3:22pm
nostra da mouse
Jenni Murray accidently made 4th seed in Wimbledon Mens competition 0
Scronnyglonkle 27.06.12 3:04pm
Scronnyglonkle
Ronaldo semi pressure key to performance

Lazy lobs, spearing through the Spanish defence - piercing runs, thrusting attacks to unopen the Spanish defence, probing through the mid field all identified by Ronaldo as the keys to winning More...

0
simonjmr 27.06.12 2:56pm
simonjmr
Jersey warns it will become "more French" if offshore tax status is harmed

Punitive  taxes on female depilatory products, an optional return to driving on the right for those who prefer it and a ban on the word "jersey" to mean pullover. These are  just some of the...

0
nickb 27.06.12 2:44pm
nickb
Queen and McGuinness suspected of rehearsing “street” handshake

The Queen and Martin McGuinness shook hands today, with onlookers suspecting the pair may have spent some time practising the complex routine. The greeting began with the traditional “palm to...

0
grumblechops 27.06.12 2:33pm
grumblechops
Angelos Epithemiou signed by Sir Alex, is to join the Old Trafford PR Team

It’s another of one those ….. “never saw that one coming, moments” Leaked by a trusted source, and in advance of an official Old Trafford announcement, this reporter can today confirm the...

0
HenryMJUK 27.06.12 1:53pm
HenryMJUK
'Hilarious' hand buzzer prank mars Royal handshake with Martin McGuinness 2
Skylarking 27.06.12 1:51pm
Nails UK
Queen , Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness performed Macarena together

The Queen, Gerry Adams and former IRA commander Martin McGuinness have performed the iconic Latino dance known as ‘The Macarena’ together after really hitting it off earlier today, it has emerged...

0
Gary Stanton 27.06.12 1:47pm
Gary Stanton
Guy from Youhaveavirusbutdontknowit.com can't believe his luck when he rings RBS 0
rustytruss 27.06.12 1:45pm
rustytruss
Teen Heartthrob Rupert Murdoch denies that News Corp has too much power

The Leverson inquiry has opened up a new wave of bullying for News Corp CEO, teen sensation and all round great guy Rupert Murdoch. Losers all over say lame thing like News Corp has too much...

0
confuzzled 27.06.12 1:36pm
confuzzled
Queen Shakes Hands With Martin McGuinness. She's A Big Fan Of 'Take Me Out' 0
christianmanley 27.06.12 1:29pm
christianmanley
Creation Scientists hail launch of world's largest prayer collider

Creation scientists have gathered in Utah for the inauguration of the most ambitious new development in advanced theological research in decades - the Salt Lake City Prayer Super-Collider. In a 12...

19
bonjonelson 27.06.12 12:44pm
Midfield Diamond
RBS say 'computer glitch' that caused credit crunch should now be fixed

The Royal Bank of Scotland has today come out and apologised for the ‘minor glitch’ in it’s computer system that caused it to almost crumble into bankruptcy and need a multi-billion pound...

9
Perks 27.06.12 12:32pm
Midfield Diamond
Massive spike of "Sudden interest in Tennis" syndrome reported ...

Doctors say not to panic, symptons last two weeks at most...

0
Kramaring 27.06.12 12:26pm
Kramaring
McGuinnes being taught to kiss babies and stop biting their heads off. 0
rustytruss 27.06.12 12:24pm
rustytruss
Riots To Go Ahead Despite Olympics Say Organisers

It’s been confirmed this summer’s traditional week of rioting WILL go ahead despite the real possibility of a national ‘feelgood’ factor provided by the Olympics. Blackberry Messenger...

5
daneade 27.06.12 12:11pm
beau-jolly
Coming soon... the new Rom-Com.... "When Marty met Lizzie"

Kept apart for years, their hands met across an empty room and they knew it was love...

0
Ian Searle 27.06.12 11:58am
Ian Searle
McGuiness to reporters : When I said I hated the Queen, I ment Bohemian Rhapsody

more later...

0
Scronnyglonkle 27.06.12 11:58am
Scronnyglonkle
Fixed Penalty Camera to be installed in Parliament Square to gain U-Turn revenue 1
DroleNoel 27.06.12 11:54am
bonjonelson
Pornstar 'Big' Ben accidently adorned with actual Olympic rings 'Prince Albert'

More piercing news one liners later...

0
thackaray 27.06.12 11:53am
thackaray
Queen's apology to McGuinness : "Mason's Grip" only meant in fun 0
Drylaw 27.06.12 11:48am
Drylaw
Bexley Man Discovers 50,000 Coin Hoard In Large Jar In His Shed

The archeological world was abuzz today as news filtered through of the discovery of a huge hoard of 1 and 2p coins in a shed in Bexley. Long-time Bexley resident Ted Johnson made the discovery in...

1
daneade 27.06.12 11:25am
Yikes
Queens complains that she asked for a Guinness not a McGuinness 0
Mark66 27.06.12 11:19am
Mark66
Bishop resigns after hugging woman in bikini

"I shouldn't have worn it", admitted the Bishop, "but when you wear a dress for a living, it just seemed so natural."...

0
apepper 27.06.12 11:05am
apepper
Prison sex study finds secret 'penal colony' instances between some inmates 0
charlies_hat 27.06.12 10:11am
charlies_hat
McGuinness due to meet Queen on return from Oldham 0
medici2471 27.06.12 9:47am
medici2471
Metal Detector Geeks Win The Right To Say ‘Fuck You’

Two metal detector saddos in Jersey today won the right to tell all the people who’ve slagged them off as sad losers to Go And Get Fucked. Until today Reg Mead and Richard Miles had wasted the...

0
daneade 27.06.12 9:39am
daneade