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Unemployed mother records occupation as 'Mistress of the United Kingdom' 0
Arthur 03.08.13 8:28am
Local councils recommend renting out Eric Pickles

More to follow...

apepper 03.08.13 8:20am
Royal Mail CEO repays £250,000 overpayment in stamps 1
custard cream 03.08.13 7:51am
Robert Mugabe declares himself the new Doctor Who

Although the official outcome of Zimbabwe's elections is still to be announced, Mr. Mugabe has confidently predicted he will become the next Time Lord. Bookies and the Electoral Commission have...

Wrenfoe 03.08.13 7:26am
Police combing area for missing grooming suspect. 0
sredni vashta 03.08.13 12:05am
sredni vashta
Popular Tory brainwash rag introduces paywall for the plebs - No one is shocked

A popular anti benefit, pro Tory and brainwashing newspaper has introduced a pay wall to promote that greed is good. It also needs to support at least 5 Eton boys and kids of oil barons who need all...

RavenH 02.08.13 11:51pm
Nepal To Levy Everest Congestion Charge

"It's not so much the parking meter on the summit which upsets us" said a group of climbers "As the council tax on our base camp. They put out tent in band D, for goodness sake, and it hasn't even...

Titus 02.08.13 9:22pm
Damon Albarn to be new Doctor Woohoo. 1
MADJEZ 02.08.13 9:07pm
Heads! Con man has coin flip gamblers fooled. Tails in store 0
Not Amused 02.08.13 8:36pm
Not Amused
Insect repellent accident ruins Anne Summers shop: "Fool, DEET ails Sin Store". 0
Al OPecia 02.08.13 8:14pm
Al OPecia
Clearasil revealed as sponsors of recent immigration spot checks

No more soon please...

Not Amused 02.08.13 8:03pm
Al OPecia
News Biscuit hiatus attributed to staffers performing at Edinburgh Fringe 1
Paddy Berzinski 02.08.13 8:03pm
Other Side Of 'Those' Vans Says "Don't Vote UKIP - Vote For Us ... Please?"

More desperate Coalition propaganda soon...

Titus 02.08.13 7:24pm
Friends Of Green Earthpiece Object To 'Unobtrusive' Fracking

"Wind farms are far better" said their spokesperson "They may only produce derisory amounts of unreliable electricity and require massive subsidies, but they advertise our cause far and wide over...

Titus 02.08.13 7:20pm
Anger That Ariel Castro Might Only Serve 500 Years Of His 1,000 Year Sentence

"At least he won't be able to keep on appealing repeatedly to the European Court of Human Rights every 20 years" said a spokesman for one of his kidnap victims...

Titus 02.08.13 6:55pm
Infinite number of monkeys visit vet specialising in carpal tunnel syndrome 1
Smart Alex 02.08.13 6:34pm
Boy scouts to get new badge in String Theory. 1
Maverick 02.08.13 6:31pm
Energy drinks delivery driver claimed he drove for Red Bull 0
custard cream 02.08.13 6:19pm
custard cream
Ed Snowden declared Starbucks' Customer of the Year 0
custard cream 02.08.13 6:10pm
custard cream
Ringing phone causes Pavlov's dogs to eat Schrodingers cat. 0
Maverick 02.08.13 6:03pm
Mugabe invited to Number 10

Following his success in the recent Zimbabwean elections, President Robert Mugabe has been invited to meet David Cameron at 10 Downing Street to discuss election tactics. "Advice from Mr. Mugabe...

ActionMan 02.08.13 5:40pm
Disappointment over long odds for Black Ginger haired Lesbian for Dr.Who role.

more before saturday...

ESJ 02.08.13 4:56pm
Secretary disappointed that paperless office includes the toilet cubicles 2
Smart Alex 02.08.13 4:50pm
Landmark historical events presage the coming of a great comet

A flurry of significant news events around the world are thought to herald the arrival of the eagerly awaited comet ISON c/2012 S1, due to light up the night skies around November 2013. History is...

NewBiscuit 02.08.13 4:50pm
Ageing Mugabe prepares own obituary and post mortem result 0
sydalg 02.08.13 4:06pm
Texas delay executions after lethal injections found to be harmful.

Texas has been forced to halt further executions after the discovery that stocks of lethal drug pentobarbital are past their Use By Date. New stocks of the drug have proved difficult to come by as...

MADJEZ 02.08.13 3:54pm
Mugabe claims victory for homeopathic party with 0.00000001% of vote

More to follow...

apepper 02.08.13 3:18pm
Crocodile/parrot hybrid rips man's arm off, then asks "Who's a cheeky boy then?" 7
Smart Alex 02.08.13 1:38pm
Man loses dust - admits 'I should have gone to Speck Savers' 0
John Wiltshire 02.08.13 11:48am
John Wiltshire
Drool, slurp...

Sorry, I thought someone was about to post a Pavlov's Dog gag. (Schrodinger's Cat is just so five minutes ago dahhlings)...

Skylarking 02.08.13 11:44am