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Man's phone rings during Dark Knight Rises

Many were looking forward to watching the latest installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman, but in a cinema in Portsmouth film lovers had there experience tragically ruin when an inconsiderate cinema...

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confuzzled 23.07.12 8:34pm
Stratford shopkeeper jailed for answering telephone after '5 rings'

An East End shopkeeper has been sentenced to five years in prison, after admitting breaching stringent trading rules around Olympic Games related intellectual property., Sixty Eight year old...

1
Underconstruction 23.07.12 7:30pm
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5 days to go and Boris Johnson still waiting for Team GB whiff whaff call up. 3
MADJEZ 23.07.12 7:27pm
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Syria pledge on chemical weapons: will massacre everyone using guns instead.

Civilians in Syria rejoice after the benevolent government announce they will be massacred using guns and rocket-propelled grenades instead of chemical warfare. One Syrian was reported to have said,...

0
Gary Baldy 23.07.12 6:44pm
Gary Baldy
After Aurora suspect's appearance, sponsors pull Ronald MacDonald from 2012 ads 0
pinxit 23.07.12 6:32pm
pinxit
Euro Crisis: Spain expels costal province. 'Costa Borrowin ruining us.' 0
pinxit 23.07.12 6:27pm
pinxit
Team GB hopes in tatters, as only one in four athletes turn up for training 0
Underconstruction 23.07.12 5:52pm
Underconstruction
Organisers regret hiring G-Force for Olympic security.

Baddum tschhhhh http://www.majorspoilers.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06a/G_Forceshot2.jpg...

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MADJEZ 23.07.12 5:36pm
MADJEZ
Wiggins 'feared attack by cycle-path' 0
Underconstruction 23.07.12 4:56pm
Underconstruction
Priority parking becomes most expensive paralympic ticket

More to follow...

0
Underconstruction 23.07.12 4:54pm
Underconstruction
Dog walking to be introduced as a Demonstration Sport at London Olympics.

The Olympic Committee, coming under heavy pressure from LOCOG and the Kennel Club, has relented at the last minute, and is to allow Dog Walking and Associated Events into London 2012 as a...

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Al OPecia 23.07.12 4:34pm
Al OPecia
Bradley Wiggins & Team Sky to resolve Euro crisis "Straight after Olympics"

Loads more heroics soon...

0
grottymonty 23.07.12 4:16pm
grottymonty
Insurance Industry shocked to discover Confused.com has early onset Alzheimers

And compare ze meerkat is dyslexic...

0
Ian Searle 23.07.12 4:05pm
Ian Searle
Kennel Club defies critics by launching dog with two cocks

In an apparent snub to critics who claim pedigree dogs are inbred, mutated and miserable, the Kennel Club has released a 'breed standard' for a dog with two cocks. "Just look at his little face, you...

3
23.07.12 3:38pm
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Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States

Pet owners wanting to turn their pets into lookalikes of the favourite celebrities, a craze that began in Los Angeles, could be headed to the UK. Plastic surgery for dogs and cats is big business in...

3
HIGNFY 23.07.12 3:03pm
HIGNFY
WMDs don't kill people, George Bush and his Poodle kill people, says Iran 1
ronseal 23.07.12 2:43pm
Sinnick
Syria promises UN to pay it's dairy farmers more.

Another victory for international diplomacy. Nod to Medici...

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wallster 23.07.12 1:22pm
wallster
UN victory - Syria agrees to just shoot and bomb its own people. 0
medici2471 23.07.12 1:09pm
medici2471
Gigantic Glace Cherry Found At North Pole

Dr Dave Hamburger said: “we currently don’t know what’s going on, but it seems the earth could be a Belgian Bun floating in space.”...

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Reg Herring 23.07.12 1:02pm
Reg Herring
G4S recruit Bradley Wiggins now he has his own hi-vis shirt.

more security soon...

1
riesler 23.07.12 12:31pm
kimllfixit
April Fool Pranks To Be Outlawed

April Fool’s day celebrations are to be moved to the first Monday in May the government announced today, in a bid to quietly slip in some bad news following Bradley Wiggins’ riding a bike fast...

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Reg Herring 23.07.12 12:11pm
Reg Herring
Bradley Wiggins refused membership of The Pickwick Club

With calls already for a knighthood after his exploits in the Tour de France, a shadow has been cast over sports superstar Bradley Wiggins with a dismissive snub from the establishment, in the form...

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pinxit 23.07.12 12:02pm
pinxit
'Games lane' on M4 closed for 3 weeks for essential maintenance 0
charlies_hat 23.07.12 11:21am
charlies_hat
White Star Line faces legal action after RMS Olympic found to breach copyright. 0
dominic_mcg 23.07.12 11:15am
dominic_mcg
London braces for the opening of the 2012 Paralytic Olympics

Competitors from all over the world are converging on London as the 2012 Paralytic Games gets into full swing. With competition tight for the medals, the paraletes have been in top training for this...

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JohnA 23.07.12 10:45am
JohnA
After Le tour win, Tony Blair calls for Tony Blair to light Olympic cauldron 0
simonjmr 23.07.12 10:28am
simonjmr
After a great Sunday for British sport, John Terry seen sporting new haircut

You can see it [url=http://twitpic.com/aasvmb]here[/url]...

0
pinxit 23.07.12 9:29am
pinxit
Bradley Wiggins in cross-bar scandal

ah, the old jokes ....

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Sinnick 23.07.12 8:56am
Sinnick
Wiggins bicycle "Felt left out of Tour victory celebration"

Amid the champagne-popping and jubilant celebrations on the Champs Elysees yesterday one individual felt a frisson of bitterness - Bradley Wiggins' bicycle. "Let's face it, we bikes do half the...

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Drylaw 23.07.12 8:37am
Drylaw
Britain's Olympians aim for gold after demotivational speech by office worker

Britain’s Olympic hopefuls are even more determined to justify their selection, after a long and rambling speech by an office worker described the misery of a more mundane existence. Dave Simister...

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23.07.12 8:28am
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