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GPs vote to strike but surgeons favour deeper cuts 0
nostra da mouse 30.05.12 10:25am
nostra da mouse
"There's Wally!" the latest dumbing down of children's literature.

Parents and teachers have expressed surprise and concern about the popular "Where's Wally" books being added to the GCSE list of Set Texts. Sid Finch, who's son Rubin will study GCSE English from...

3
Boutros 29.05.12 11:33pm
Textbook
Footballer spit and gob statistics to be available for Euro 2012

The wait to see which players produce the most spittle, and who has the biggest average volume per gob, is almost over. A new software package, due to be launched in time for the European...

2
Midfield Diamond 29.05.12 10:57pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cheryl Cole 'Isn't Very Important' shock.

There was widespread shock across the country today when it was suddenly discovered that whether Cheryl Cole mimed on 'The Voice' or not doesn't really matter. A spokesman for the BBCs flagship...

1
TheNewsWalrus 29.05.12 10:49pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Duchess of Cambridge shames austerity Britain by wearing frock for second time

The Duchess of Cambridge yesterday demonstrated her thrifty side at a Palace garden party by wearing the £1,200 Emilia Wickstead frock she wore two weeks ago at the Queen's Jubilee lunch at Windsor...

4
roybland 29.05.12 10:44pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
“We’re going for Gold” say London 2012 drug cheats

With just over 50 days to go to the start of the London Olympics, leading laboratory scientists have declared themselves as set fair for Olympic glory. Speaking from outside his underground lab,...

2
Mandy Lifeboat 29.05.12 10:43pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cameron gaffe storm : Mistakes interpreter for new French PM 0
Drylaw 29.05.12 9:47pm
Drylaw
Fury as Daily Express reports on news story

There was widespread outrage across the county today as it emerged that the Daily Express recently put an actual news story on its front page. The story, a sober, balanced and thought provoking...

4
TheNewsWalrus 29.05.12 9:46pm
Al OPecia
Derbyshire man has 'Britain's most pointless job title'

A Derbyshire man was celebrating last night after winning this year’s award for Britain’s most pointless job title. Derek Hill, 48, won the flagship prize for his role of ‘Principal Technical...

2
TheNewsWalrus 29.05.12 9:45pm
Al OPecia
Discovery of Jesus’s personal file reveals bereavement leave scam

In a stunning development, archaeologists have found Jesus’s personal file from his job as an evangelical carpentry tutor with the Jerusalem Nailers. Initial indications are that Jesus’s “Mr...

5
Yikes 29.05.12 8:22pm
Yikes
Beach Boys reunion scuppered by Coastguard's red flag warning. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.05.12 8:13pm
dominic_mcg
Plumber criticised for refusing part in adult movie

A plumber from York has been widely criticised by the adult film industry as well as men up and down the country by refusing to take part in a porn film. Unlike him, the incident came after a call...

2
Perks 29.05.12 7:10pm
Perks
Fears Prince Charles may disrupt Jubilee floatila by swimming into the Thames. 0
Ian Searle 29.05.12 6:32pm
Ian Searle
Juan Kerr, the Spanish Master Baker is fed up of people laughing at his name. 0
Ian Searle 29.05.12 6:31pm
Ian Searle
Radioactive fish get glowing school report 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 29.05.12 6:14pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
"Coal house would have been luxury" says Harry Potter 0
Scroat 29.05.12 5:32pm
Scroat
Stray dog chased 1700km by Chinese restaurateurs 6
medici2471 29.05.12 5:01pm
Sinnick
Andy Murray fails in bid for French Open 0
nostra da mouse 29.05.12 3:39pm
nostra da mouse
Obama Defeats Romney in Hollywood Version of 2012 Presidential Election

LOS ANGELES – In a classic Hollywood ending that left audiences cheering and wiping tears from their eyes, President Obama triumphed over his Republican rival Mitt Romney in the 2012 U.S....

0
29.05.12 3:37pm
Anti GM crop protesters mistakenly picket Vauxhall dealership 5
Scronnyglonkle 29.05.12 3:16pm
Scronnyglonkle
‘Make our day Muzzos,’ says Olympic Security Chief.

Olympic Security Chief Sir Peter Anderson admitted today he’s dying to blow some ‘Johnny Muzzo chaps’ to kingdom come during the Games. Confident security at the Games was ‘tighter than a...

0
daneade 29.05.12 2:28pm
daneade
UK deports tourist for not stating Olympics as purpose of visit 1
Dumbnews 29.05.12 2:26pm
daneade
Jessica Ennis’s boyfriend slips into something cool on return home 0
medici2471 29.05.12 2:17pm
medici2471
Phil Jagielka 'expects highly' of England due to low expectations of England

England fans should be expecting great things from their team at Euro 2012, according to centre-back Phil Jagielka, as a result of their lack of belief in the England team. 'In the past, great...

1
LPWright 29.05.12 2:09pm
dvo4fun
Japanese fishing methods declared: "Unfit for Porpoise" 0
Drylaw 29.05.12 2:05pm
Drylaw
Theresa May tackles police budget crisis with new ‘Robo-PCSO’

In a direct response to her critics, Theresa May has unveiled a new weapon in the fight against minor offences. Using a left-over community support officer and two motors from a mobility scooter,...

14
29.05.12 1:56pm
dvo4fun
Intruder 'excitement' brings Leveson Inquiry cameraman out of coma

A cameraman at the Leveson Inquiry , Paul Wells, has awoken from a coma that lasted over 6 months after the intrusion of a protester gave the inquiry it‘s first piece of ‘real’ excitement since...

5
Perks 29.05.12 12:37pm
Perks
Aldolf HItler 'plays down' Racism claims ahead of 1936 Berlin Olympics

German leader, Aldolf Hitler has struck back at Jessie Owens' recent appeals for people to stay away from the upcoming games, despite concerns that many foreigners may face racism during the event....

7
LPWright 29.05.12 11:54am
medici2471
Gordon Brown celebrates his five minutes of fame at the Leveson

By shouting "war criminal" at Tony Blair More soon...

0
simonjmr 29.05.12 11:16am
simonjmr
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bonjonelson 29.05.12 10:54am
Qoxiivi