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Workshy Paralympians could stand to lose benefits, insists Iain Duncan Smith

Paralympians who spend their days idle in a wheelchair when not training for London 2012 should stop taking the benefits system for all they can get, an outraged Iain Duncan Smith claimed last night....

1
Gary Stanton 26.07.12 7:36pm
Drylaw
Lord Coe 'appalled to discover' Frankie, not Danny, Boyle booked to open games 6
dvo4fun 26.07.12 6:05pm
dvo4fun
Olympic official responsible for Hampden flag mix-up admits wrong Korea choice 11
The Last Detail 26.07.12 5:24pm
HIGNFY
Nightmare Scenario as Frankie Boyle Asked To Contribute To Olympic Ceremony

It's just a headline, but could you imagine if some Olympic clown had mixed up Frankie Boyle for his equally as ugly brother Danny? Opening ceremony packed with skits about missing children in...

1
HIGNFY 26.07.12 2:49pm
HIGNFY
Olympic lanes to be adapted for Audi drivers

They just need to paint out one of the circles ...

0
Sinnick 26.07.12 12:35pm
Sinnick
Wiggins has 'heart like a bucket', wife has fanny like myogenic muscular organ 0
button 26.07.12 11:27am
button
Deep fried wedding cake company to take on extra staff. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 11:18am
Ironduke
LOCOG concedes it thought it was organising "It's a Knockout". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 10:49am
dominic_mcg
Transport For Glasgow regrets painting "South Korean Only" lanes. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 10:31am
dominic_mcg
North Korea wins first 2012 Olympic gold in Women's Flouncing event 0
The Paper Ostrich 26.07.12 10:11am
The Paper Ostrich
Rangers relegated to North Korean third division. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 10:03am
dominic_mcg
Britain secure first Olympic medal with bronze in Opening Ceremony Competition

Britain made a auspicious start, by winning a medal in the opening event at the 2012 Olympic Games in London., Britain were third to light the torch, using a flaming dove - beating Denmark's flaming...

0
gaijintendo 26.07.12 10:02am
gaijintendo
Trebor launches Sherbert double dib-dab as sweet relief to economic recession 0
Iamthestig 26.07.12 9:40am
Iamthestig
Manchester Lad Seeks Asylum In Italy

An 11 year old lad from Manchester successfully evaded border controls yesterday and escaped to Rome. Little Liam Corcoran-Fort, told Italian officials that everyone in Britain was in such bad debt...

0
26.07.12 9:38am
Scottish city changes name to Glasgay in bid to attract more weddings 0
Iamthestig 26.07.12 9:36am
Iamthestig
Dr Who becomes suspicious as death toll rises 0
medici2471 26.07.12 9:21am
medici2471
First Scotttish gay wedding couple seek heterosexual planner 2
charlies_hat 26.07.12 9:01am
charlies_hat
“I Simply Don't Believe It” - Sighs LOCOG's Lord Meldrew

LOCOG bigwig, Lord Victor Meldrew, threw up his arms in disbelief last night, after officials raised the South Korean flag to honour the North Korean football team. “What in the name of bloody...

0
26.07.12 8:48am
Scottish gay wedding bill welcomed by kilt industry 2
26.07.12 8:18am
riesler
Maybe not 2
Nerys Hughes 26.07.12 8:10am
Stan
Disgust as Olympic political discourse breaks out into unedifying sport

Seemingly oblivious to issues surrounding tickets, traffic congestion, G4S, strikes and the cost to the taxpayer, Team GB and New Zealand’s women played football in Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium...

0
Artisan 25.07.12 11:36pm
Artisan
First Gay Scottish Wedding Cancelled As Both Grooms Are Raging Homophobes

It was meant to be the happiest day in the lives of Barry Boyle and Gordon Darcy. It was the day that they were going to make a lifelong commitment of love to one another and live happily ever after....

0
Hooch 25.07.12 10:38pm
Hooch
Queen Attends All Star Production of Revelations to Mark Diamond Jubilee

An all star cast was in attendance at Downing Street yesterday for the opening night of SamCam’s Production of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Downing Street Footlights headed the bill in the...

0
scottishbird 25.07.12 9:35pm
scottishbird
Psycho puts faith in Blair.

The chattering classes need wonder no more, Tony is back. In a surprise move that has stunned commentators, Stuart Pearce announced “Over the past few days I have had my fair share of critics, but...

0
Kieran 25.07.12 9:10pm
Kieran
Hard-up dry cleaning owner accused of money laundering

Stop me if you've heard this before....

0
JohnA 25.07.12 9:00pm
JohnA
Unemployed lorry driver, 54, launches Olympic selection bid

With a whopping 48 hours until the opening ceremony of London 2012, Dave Collins, a 54 year-old unemployed lorry driver, said he was “Humbled” to announce his intention to seek selection for Team...

1
antharrison 25.07.12 8:39pm
Health & Safety executive appoints Prince Charles as Heir on the side of caution 0
wallster 25.07.12 8:37pm
wallster
Gretna Green over run by English gay elopers 1
custard cream 25.07.12 8:37pm
Sinnick
English gays go to Gretna Green to put rings on fingers

Combining subs by Psychadelic Squirrel and custard cream...

0
Sinnick 25.07.12 8:33pm
Sinnick
Cast of EastEnders to be responsible for Olympic security

Following the successful foray of the Olympic torch relay into the fictitious London Borough of Walford, Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that responsibility for Olympic security is to be...

0
The Paper Ostrich 25.07.12 8:25pm
The Paper Ostrich