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Opening Ceremony to include The 10 Plagues of Egypt, says Boyle. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 27.07.12 12:36pm
dominic_mcg
Britain and US joint favourites in synchronised slimming. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 27.07.12 12:34pm
dominic_mcg
Seat booking fiasco leads to diplomatic mayhem

Olympic organisers' worst fears became reality last night as the expensive opening ceremony descended into mayhem. A massive computer glitch only revealed itself at the last moment, too late to...

0
Drylaw 27.07.12 12:04pm
Drylaw
Jeremy Hunt's bell-end

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19011788 [fixed the typo - so that's why it didn't get any stars]...

0
Sinnick 27.07.12 11:27am
Sinnick
More Olympic shame as LOCOG hangs Audi logo from Tower Bridge 7
kimllfixit 27.07.12 10:43am
HenryMJUK
Guy Fawkes prank tweet unearthed by archeologists

more to follow...

0
Underconstruction 27.07.12 9:49am
Underconstruction
Spoilt brat refuses to share birthday with minor celebrity. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 27.07.12 9:25am
dominic_mcg
"Spread out a bit": IDS's new youth unemplyment scheme

Tasked by his coalition masters with thinking the unthinkable and speaking the unspeakable Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has come up with dramatic new plans to deal with Britain's...

4
Sdooley 27.07.12 9:20am
War threatened after power switched off as North Koreans enter Olympic Stadium

There was fury at the Olympic Games Opening Ceremony after the power was shut down just as the North Korean athletes were proudly parading around the stadium behind their flag. Already angry after...

1
Stan 27.07.12 9:07am
Fears of plague outbreak prompted by nationwide bell ringing 0
seymour totti 27.07.12 8:47am
seymour totti
Red faces all round as Olympic organisers admit: 'we forgot Archery'.

London 2012 organisers were left with a lot of explaining to do today, as hundreds of excited Olympic Archery competitors waited expectantly to be shown to their venue. "Archery completely slipped...

2
allmyownstunts 27.07.12 8:26am
RickH
Flying insects buzzing over new 'Fly Flap'

An inventor and life long insect rights activist, Anthony Small, has today launched his latest innovation to make the short duration of insects lives easier. The ‘Fly Flap’ will enable house...

8
Perks 27.07.12 8:09am
button
Government ready for two weeks of burying bad news.

The government is today celebrating the start of two weeks it has been looking forward to for a long time. With the country’s attention focused on the Olympics in London, not since the death of...

5
Perks 27.07.12 6:09am
kga6
Jenga game ruined by earthquake.

A late night game of Jenga played by Texan students Bryan Vance and Jack "Ace" Cordova was cut tragically short yesterday as a result of a large earthquake in northern Mexico. The match, tied at one...

7
bonjonelson 26.07.12 8:23pm
Perks
Middle Urinals ‘For Emergency’s Only’

Public toilet architects have issued a statement reminding men that any urinal that forces another man to stand directly beside you is to be used only when an explosion is imminent. The announcement...

7
Hooch 26.07.12 7:58pm
Drylaw
Workshy Paralympians could stand to lose benefits, insists Iain Duncan Smith

Paralympians who spend their days idle in a wheelchair when not training for London 2012 should stop taking the benefits system for all they can get, an outraged Iain Duncan Smith claimed last night....

1
Gary Stanton 26.07.12 7:36pm
Drylaw
Lord Coe 'appalled to discover' Frankie, not Danny, Boyle booked to open games 6
dvo4fun 26.07.12 6:05pm
dvo4fun
Olympic official responsible for Hampden flag mix-up admits wrong Korea choice 11
The Last Detail 26.07.12 5:24pm
HIGNFY
Nightmare Scenario as Frankie Boyle Asked To Contribute To Olympic Ceremony

It's just a headline, but could you imagine if some Olympic clown had mixed up Frankie Boyle for his equally as ugly brother Danny? Opening ceremony packed with skits about missing children in...

1
HIGNFY 26.07.12 2:49pm
HIGNFY
Olympic lanes to be adapted for Audi drivers

They just need to paint out one of the circles ...

0
Sinnick 26.07.12 12:35pm
Sinnick
Wiggins has 'heart like a bucket', wife has fanny like myogenic muscular organ 0
button 26.07.12 11:27am
button
Deep fried wedding cake company to take on extra staff. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 11:18am
Ironduke
LOCOG concedes it thought it was organising "It's a Knockout". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 10:49am
dominic_mcg
Transport For Glasgow regrets painting "South Korean Only" lanes. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 10:31am
dominic_mcg
North Korea wins first 2012 Olympic gold in Women's Flouncing event 0
The Paper Ostrich 26.07.12 10:11am
The Paper Ostrich
Rangers relegated to North Korean third division. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.07.12 10:03am
dominic_mcg
Britain secure first Olympic medal with bronze in Opening Ceremony Competition

Britain made a auspicious start, by winning a medal in the opening event at the 2012 Olympic Games in London., Britain were third to light the torch, using a flaming dove - beating Denmark's flaming...

0
gaijintendo 26.07.12 10:02am
gaijintendo
Trebor launches Sherbert double dib-dab as sweet relief to economic recession 0
Iamthestig 26.07.12 9:40am
Iamthestig
Manchester Lad Seeks Asylum In Italy

An 11 year old lad from Manchester successfully evaded border controls yesterday and escaped to Rome. Little Liam Corcoran-Fort, told Italian officials that everyone in Britain was in such bad debt...

0
26.07.12 9:38am
Scottish city changes name to Glasgay in bid to attract more weddings 0
Iamthestig 26.07.12 9:36am
Iamthestig