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Gentleman's hankerchief in drive-by fluting. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Or James Galway implicated in...

Cameron denies rift after Foreign Office relocated to tent in Libyan desert. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Sewer men get windfall as chancellor pours taxpayers money down drain.. 0
OldThingy 3 years

Sewer worker said "It is fortuitous that my coleagues and I have ascended in affluence do to the unfortunate happenstance of our governers.", His coleage added "Sright mate, we aint goin a kick up...

Police admit Paedophile Ring can only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom 0
bonjonelson 3 years
MPs queue up to administer suppository to Cameron over painful NHS motion. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

More in 2-4 hours...

C3PO blames 'car keys' for three hour airport security delay 3
allmyownstunts 3 years
Tabloid claims ‘Massive online pedophile ring-busted by cops’: sacks proofreader 0
Qoxiivi 3 years
'We would have preferred vouchers', say Wootton Bassett residents. 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years
Jonathan Ross to move out of Wooton Bassett 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Public allowed to shoot charity fund-raisers who accost you in the street 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron today announced a new aspect of The Big Society, namely that if you are accosted in the street by a student on minimum wages who pretends they are working for Save the Squid and gives...

C3-PO in "Golden rod" scandal at Wilmslow stationers 1
simonjmr 3 years
Trend for eating at your desk inspires the new Deskfast Bar range: Eat'n'click 0
ronseal 3 years

The Eat'N'Click is for the busy executive who is just so fucking important they can't miss a minute of internet time It's for those whom manners are not an option It's for the guys who just DOn't...

Rope and sack makers involved in drive-by juting 0
simonjmr 3 years
Sectarian violence erupts at fish pedicure salons in Belfast and Glasgow 0
simonjmr 3 years

The Glasgow and Belfast salon's of Dr Fish had to be closed for several hours yesterday afternoon after violent clashes erupted between Catholics and Protestants and Celtic and Rangers fans....

Obama Deploys Unmanned Drone to Fight for Health Insurance 0
Q William Bacon 3 years
Poundland to cut everything in half to avoid price rise. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Comedy Embargo on Kobe Earthquake Jokes extended until 2025 8
bonjonelson 3 years

The embargo on jokes related to the 1995 earthquake in Kobe, due to end in 2015 has been extended until at least 2025 due to this week's tragic events in Japan. Comedy officials warn that jokes...

Tickets for Olympic events featuring Victoria Pendleton sold out already 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

Organisers (to use the term loosely) of the London 2012 Olympics have announced that all tickets for events featuring Victoria Pendleton have already sold out., 'They all seem to have been bought by...

UN designates tracksuit bottoms as an official no-fly zone 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Midsomer residents five times more likely to be accused of murder than other 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years

minorities, says report...

Coe says Olympics Countdown malfunction was deliberate. 'It's a stop-watch' 0
pinxit 3 years
Nick Clegg reiterates Cameron policies - it's His Tory repeating 0
simonjmr 3 years
Russia announces winner of 2018 World Cup final - Russia 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin today announced the winner of the 2018 football World Cup final., At a press conference, he said: 'The whole world knows that the decision to hold the 2018...

YOU ARE ALL VICTIMS OF A DRIVE-BY SHOUTING!!!!!!1111 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Daily Telegraph: Leaked emails reveal Osborne plans to nationalise the Internet 0
theumpire 3 years
Triffids on loose after Brian Cox's teeth cause TV viewers to wake up blind 0
pinxit 3 years
Fisherman reels after being presented award of Master Baiter of the year 0
OldThingy 3 years

Just a thin line...

Ex-Blur bassist gets call-up from UN 4
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Alex James, the cheesemaker, classical musician, newspaper columnist, panel show host, fete opening radio presenting former bassist with Blur confirmed today that he had been approached by the United...

Hampshire Lady says "they're all dry now - ooh! - ooh! -ooh!" 0
OldThingy 3 years

come again?...

Schools "Completely Unprepared" for First Generation of Baby-Einstein's 5
thisisall1word 3 years

The Department of Education has admitted it is not fully prepared for the wave of child geniuses who will be starting primary education this coming September. Infant and primary schools across the...