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Clearasil revealed as sponsors of recent immigration spot checks

No more soon please...

Not Amused 02.08.13 8:03pm
Al OPecia
News Biscuit hiatus attributed to staffers performing at Edinburgh Fringe 1
Paddy Berzinski 02.08.13 8:03pm
Other Side Of 'Those' Vans Says "Don't Vote UKIP - Vote For Us ... Please?"

More desperate Coalition propaganda soon...

Titus 02.08.13 7:24pm
Friends Of Green Earthpiece Object To 'Unobtrusive' Fracking

"Wind farms are far better" said their spokesperson "They may only produce derisory amounts of unreliable electricity and require massive subsidies, but they advertise our cause far and wide over...

Titus 02.08.13 7:20pm
Anger That Ariel Castro Might Only Serve 500 Years Of His 1,000 Year Sentence

"At least he won't be able to keep on appealing repeatedly to the European Court of Human Rights every 20 years" said a spokesman for one of his kidnap victims...

Titus 02.08.13 6:55pm
Infinite number of monkeys visit vet specialising in carpal tunnel syndrome 1
Smart Alex 02.08.13 6:34pm
Boy scouts to get new badge in String Theory. 1
Maverick 02.08.13 6:31pm
Energy drinks delivery driver claimed he drove for Red Bull 0
custard cream 02.08.13 6:19pm
custard cream
Ed Snowden declared Starbucks' Customer of the Year 0
custard cream 02.08.13 6:10pm
custard cream
Ringing phone causes Pavlov's dogs to eat Schrodingers cat. 0
Maverick 02.08.13 6:03pm
Mugabe invited to Number 10

Following his success in the recent Zimbabwean elections, President Robert Mugabe has been invited to meet David Cameron at 10 Downing Street to discuss election tactics. "Advice from Mr. Mugabe...

ActionMan 02.08.13 5:40pm
Disappointment over long odds for Black Ginger haired Lesbian for Dr.Who role.

more before saturday...

ESJ 02.08.13 4:56pm
Secretary disappointed that paperless office includes the toilet cubicles 2
Smart Alex 02.08.13 4:50pm
Landmark historical events presage the coming of a great comet

A flurry of significant news events around the world are thought to herald the arrival of the eagerly awaited comet ISON c/2012 S1, due to light up the night skies around November 2013. History is...

NewBiscuit 02.08.13 4:50pm
Ageing Mugabe prepares own obituary and post mortem result 0
sydalg 02.08.13 4:06pm
Texas delay executions after lethal injections found to be harmful.

Texas has been forced to halt further executions after the discovery that stocks of lethal drug pentobarbital are past their Use By Date. New stocks of the drug have proved difficult to come by as...

MADJEZ 02.08.13 3:54pm
Mugabe claims victory for homeopathic party with 0.00000001% of vote

More to follow...

apepper 02.08.13 3:18pm
Crocodile/parrot hybrid rips man's arm off, then asks "Who's a cheeky boy then?" 7
Smart Alex 02.08.13 1:38pm
Man loses dust - admits 'I should have gone to Speck Savers' 0
John Wiltshire 02.08.13 11:48am
John Wiltshire
Drool, slurp...

Sorry, I thought someone was about to post a Pavlov's Dog gag. (Schrodinger's Cat is just so five minutes ago dahhlings)...

Skylarking 02.08.13 11:44am
Animal rights activist killed by Schrödinger's cat

Animal rights activist Simon Milford was killed last night after attempting to release a cat owned by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger from its cat box. Having heard that the cat box differed...

Smart Alex 02.08.13 11:11am
Smart Alex
Class vote in 7A was "free, honest and credible"

Yesterday's vote for Form Rep, in Class 7T of the African Free School was described as "free, honest and credible" by members of 7A. Big Robert thrashed little Morgan by 42 votes to 3 after all 30...

tomholder 02.08.13 10:56am
The Pope embraces gays and atheists but draws line at gingers

Pope Francis has issued homilies welcoming gay and atheist people, but has issued an edict saying that "gingers are just asking for it". "There's a reason why Ron Weasley wasn't the hero of the Harry...

apepper 02.08.13 10:56am
Mugabe wins Zimbabwe holistic election with 0.9999999999999% majority

There, I said it...

Oxbridge 02.08.13 10:54am
Zimbabwe backs Mugabe 110%.

More soon. Must've been done before surely apologies if it has...

MADJEZ 02.08.13 10:33am
BBC confirms it will unveil the next Doctor Who last Thursday. More soon. 0
The Paper Ostrich 02.08.13 10:19am
The Paper Ostrich
Met Police Tweets LHBL (lessons have been learned) to victims of latest cockup

The Met Police has appointed a digital apology guru in response to etc [MORE SOON] THEMES, Sympathy as a service, Automated token gesture system fit for the 21st century, Platitudes at your...

ronseal 02.08.13 10:09am
Training for teachers and social workers to include hand-wringing

The government will introduce compulsory training in hand-wringing for all teachers and social workers from now on. Introducing the changes, the health secretary, Jeremy Hunt, said: 'It is important...

John Wiltshire 02.08.13 9:50am
John Wiltshire
Schrödinger's Cat Protection League Protests About Cruelty To Non-existent Cat

"But it [i]might[/i] exist" said a spokesman for the League "Even though the Protection League does not - probably."...

Titus 02.08.13 9:31am
EDL furious after job to drive Immigrants Go Home van scooped by Afghan warlord 4
ronseal 02.08.13 9:29am