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Barack Obama Bananarama Llama Farmer Drama 2
Chris Niven-Brady 3 years

US president Barack Obama is reported "unfazed" after a llama, presented to him by ex-Bananarama singer Jacquie O'Sullivan - who now owns her own llama farm in Stroud, Gloucestershire - escaped...

Cayman Island Charity 'grateful' for £1m donation from Rupert Murdoch 0
pinxit 3 years
Home Office to phase out full-facial passport photos for gimps 6
Gary Stanton 3 years

The Home Office is to waive the rule which insists on a full-facial photograph where the applicant is a leather-clad sex slave habitually used to peering through a mask. The proposed moves follows...

Royal Break-up: Wills "not good enough for my Kate" says Dad 1
Drylaw 3 years

A stunned world reeled last night as Michael Middleton, father of the Duchess of Cambridge, confirmed recent rumours of a royal rift. Speaking to reporters outside his Berkshire home, Mr Middleton...

Obituary: David Bowie’s ‘Laughing Gnome’ dies after a short illness. 1
Stan 3 years

The King of Rockery’n’Roll, Gnorman the Gnome, famed for his seventies hit single ‘The Laughing Gnome” with David Bowie has died after a short illness. He was 2 foot 6. Although the duet...

16 Certificate urged for films containing mopeds 0
3 years
Married conjoined twins to have trial separation 4
jp1885 3 years
Met Office to start naming drizzle 2
grottymonty 3 years

In an effort to sex up the weather forecast, the Met Office will begin issuing names to weather fronts containing drizzle. Weather Squadron Leader Wincey Willis went on to predict that "Drizzle...

Energy Secretary Chris Huhne to make it easier to transfer speeding tickets. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Man travels from future to confirm time travel is not possible 0
Chris Niven-Brady 3 years

Scores of scientific theories were laid to rest yesterday when physicist Brian Furrowes arrived from the year 2121 to confirm that time travel is not possible. Furrowes, 52, who will be born in...

Student re-united with missing rugger-sock 2
Dick Everyman 3 years

Bangor University student Thomas Llewellyn, who feared he had lost one of his best rugger-socks, is delighted to be re-united with it following a cleaning mission beneath his bed. Student Halls’...

Suicidal schizophrenic "couldn't live with himself any longer" 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Twins seperate surgeons in theatre melee 0
spoole2112 3 years

A potentially life threatening scuffle between two eminent scalpel wielding neurosurgeons was halted today by plucky twin hospital cleaners and former nightclub bouncers Vince and Clive Savage. The...

Man has bargain £90 rowing machine sent straight to council recycling facility 5
antharrison 3 years

When the email from Groupon arrived offering a half-price York R510 rowing machine, Mile Richards was ecstatic "I've always wanted one to go along with the weights bench, cross trainer and cycling...

unesco to declare basildon farm world heritage site 1
4ty2 3 years
32% rely on smartphone to cross road 6
Des Custard 3 years

A report has revealed that almost a third of the population are now unable to walk to the shops or cross a busy road without the aid of a smartphone. When older types of mobile device are taken into...

Shelling continues near pea packaging plant 1
tedweasel 3 years

Unconfirmed reports from sources within Bird's Eye of intensive shelling throughout the night at it's strategic Grimsby site, more to follow...

Man sues church for not being molested 0
RJWinter 3 years

A Brighton man, who wishes to remain unnamed, is suing the church on grounds of sexual discrimination and neglect., In a recent interview he said "It is not fair, I was neglected, I just had to...

.'red rum ton yletinifed' htaed niaCcM 1
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Call for all graphic images to be banned from films. 0
spoole2112 3 years

Researchers from Wetwang University, East Yorkshire, have called for graphic images of any kind to be banned from all films. After years of time consuming and very expensive research, boffins at the...

Teenage girls in tears, as rumours of imminent Eurozone break-up spreads 3
simonjmr 3 years
Hairy Potter Sued by J. K. Rowling. 0
RJWinter 3 years

Headline idea...

America's Super Rich Expected to Dodge Frontline Duty in Upcoming Class War 0
TokyoTomato 3 years
Local man to flaunt his uniqueness by wearing plain clothes 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Manchester Police report increase in "suicide by burglary" 1
greg various 3 years
Front page 1
plasticjock 3 years

PRIVATE EYE admit being controlled for 50 years by Bubbles...

Rugby bagpipe ban to be extended “across the civilised world”. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Thankfully...

Front page 0
plasticjock 3 years

Private Eye admit to being controlled for fifty years by Bubbles...

Dale Farm cause boosted by charity release of Prodigy's 'Pack My Micks Up' 2
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
"Travellers" fail to live up to their name 1
Kramaring 3 years

no more soon...