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Robots will almost certainly save us all

Google’s chief of Artificial intelligence, Ray Kurzweil, insinuated in a recent interview that we needn't worry about climate change, poverty or neo-liberal capitalism because within a few years an...

ChairmanMouth 27.02.14 11:25pm
Co2 Deathstar Doesn't Exist Rumour

Those who say a co2 Deathstar doesn't exist have come in for some harsh criticism by a Mr D Vader of the Co2 Warmers Action Group who said he found their lack of faith 'disturbing'...

Dun Dunkin 27.02.14 11:22pm
Dun Dunkin
Banksy draws the line! Graffiti artists fails to see funny side

Multimillion pound selling graffiti artist, Banksy, has lashed out today against those who continually make him the subject of a cheap and rather tired old joke. Speaking earlier to Holly Willoughby...

Duff 27.02.14 9:59pm
Lens Cap
Rebekah is 3 miles away from Holloway 5
AReader 27.02.14 9:32pm
Peter Robinson disappointed as opportunity to resign is lost 8
Bigglesworth 27.02.14 9:24pm
Rebekah Brooks to get off after 'promise from government'

Rebekah Brooks case is tipped to collapse after revelations that the British Government had promised her in writing that she would not be prosecuted. Ms Brooks barrister, Jonathan Laidlaw claimed...

Squudge 27.02.14 9:20pm
sponge finger
Hull city council running “danish zoo” job cuts program

In a bid to save money and encourage inbreeding, it has been discovered that Hull is to cull around 450 workers over the next 2 years. Council leader Steven Brady was asked how the policy works....

rogerg 27.02.14 9:20pm
IDS announces plans for Scots to be repatriated in order of Disability Claim Ref 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 27.02.14 9:04pm
custard cream
Rebekah Brooks ‘unaware she was editing a newspaper’...

Rupert Murdoch’s flame-haired temptress insists that she knew nothing about phone hacking, while she was the editor of the [i]News of the World[/i]. ‘I didn’t know about phone hacking. I...

Tripod 27.02.14 9:01pm
custard cream
Rebecca Adlington accused of cutting off her nose to spite her face 3
custard cream 27.02.14 8:53pm
Al OPecia
Brisbane immigration question about having a criminal record confuses UK visitor

"I didn't realise you still needed one," moans holidaymaker...

Scots Al 27.02.14 8:10pm
Dolly Parton to play Glastonbury - will start with "Islands in the Stream"

Son of Barnabas 27.02.14 6:42pm
Putin denies aggression as he waves arm over Ukraine border 'Not touching' 1
MADJEZ 27.02.14 6:33pm
Costa Concordia's Captain Schettino returns to ship's bridge

Mamma Mia! What a lotta dials and buttons! Ouch I hitta my head on low roof! Hello pretty girl - you like jiggy jiggy? Whatsa this button here for? Can I press it? I going to pressa it anyway. ...

blacklesbianandproudofit 27.02.14 5:05pm
Salmond has contingency plan to flee to London if Scots actually vote Yes 0
cinquecento 27.02.14 5:00pm
Harriet Harman "Deeply Regrets" 1970s Hairstyle

In a statement which stopped short of an apology, Harriet Harman has expressed "regret" for allowing a 1970s hairdresser to interfere with her hair. "With the benefit of hindsight, I think we can...

deceangli 27.02.14 4:39pm
custard cream
New app set to guarantee Appy Holidays for us all

Remember all those times in the past when a hideously dull and annoying person or family tried to strike up a conversation on holiday or in an aeroplane, and you’d really rather they hadn’t? Or...

27.02.14 4:21pm
Unite Russia forced to remove Bear from logo under gay propaganda laws

In a land mark decision in the Russian Supreme Court, Vladimir Putin's party Unite Russia lost its long running legal battle against its own anti gay propaganda laws. The Suprme court judge ruled...

Canvasectomy 27.02.14 3:29pm
Bill Gates on mission to improve billions of lives by ending Microsoft 0
Dumbnews 27.02.14 3:01pm
Happy single middle-aged man terrified about spending rest of life alone 0
Dumbnews 27.02.14 3:00pm
DOE regrets typo: "the powerful smell of penis prevents climate change".

A spokesman for the Department of Environment today apologised for an embarrassing press release issued yesterday. Blaming a mixture of human error and technological over-efficiency, Rufus Redwood...

Son of Barnabas 27.02.14 2:28pm
Son of Barnabas
"E7" shot man 6 times "because I ran out of bullets"

Old joke, new victim...

beau-jolly 27.02.14 2:12pm
UKIP Spokesman: Global Warming caused by ‘Glee’ ratings spike

The UKIP spokesman for Energy Roger Helmer MEP announced a U-turn of his party’s long standing scepticism towards man-made climate change. The UK Independence Party has until this point been...

Canvasectomy 27.02.14 1:56pm
Thousands turn out for Albert Finney's funeral only to discover he's still alive 0
MADJEZ 27.02.14 1:51pm
Janitor promotions into army leadership 'just a sweeping generalisation' 1
pere floza 27.02.14 1:44pm
Three-headed baby plans announced

Plans to allow the creation of babies with three heads have been announced in the UK. The draft regulations will be reviewed as part of a public consultation and could come into force by the end of...

Son of Barnabas 27.02.14 12:05pm
Son of Barnabas
IDS - Child poverty redefined as 'looking like a scrubber'

In a bold move today, Work and Peasants Secretary Ian Duncan-Smith will attempt to radically redefine the way we look at child poverty. Instead of the old requirement that they live in a financially...

electrelane 27.02.14 11:27am
BNP withdraws call for mandatory death penalty for violent fanatics 0
Bigglesworth 27.02.14 11:19am
Risk assessment forces Life Insurance company to quit Scotland

'What Independence vote?' replies confused claims team manager...

Ironduke 27.02.14 11:11am
Conservative Party to adopt new 'jackboot' logo in place of tree

The Conservative Party has decided to rebrand itself as 'The Workers Party,' following poor opinion poll ratings among low-waged workers in marginal constituencies. They have also been urged by...

Edward Knight 27.02.14 10:57am