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Tedious talk about the jet stream set to continue

Mind-numbing explanations of how the jet stream is responsible for the wet British summer will continue for the next few weeks, according to forecasters. 'Unfortunately we expect the present very...

0
roybland 03.07.12 6:25pm
roybland
Maths geek told: Explaining binary to a girl is not "getting to 2nd base". 0
dominic_mcg 03.07.12 5:31pm
dominic_mcg
Diamonds are Agius best friend 0
Smart Alex 03.07.12 5:02pm
Smart Alex
Apple users with pirated software told to download the latest i-patch. 0
weematt 03.07.12 4:37pm
weematt
Harry Redknapp to take over as Barclays CEO

Former Tottenham gaffer Harry Redknapp has been named as Bob Diamond’s successor. Redknapp said at a press conference ‘e hadn’t got a bleedin’ clue about this banking lark’ sending...

1
daneade 03.07.12 3:15pm
daneade
Wimbledon Centre Court to use sprinklers and create rain when roof is closed

In a bid to re-create exact British summer conditions at all times during the tournament, Wimbledon chiefs have agreed that they will switch the sprinkler system on at key stages during any matches...

0
Iamthestig 03.07.12 3:13pm
Iamthestig
Redknapp bookies favourite for vacant Barclays job 1
charlies_hat 03.07.12 3:09pm
seymour totti
Scientists prove hidden Doggerland underworld uncovered in carpark of the A46 0
simonjmr 03.07.12 3:09pm
simonjmr
idiot 0
medici2471 03.07.12 2:58pm
medici2471
NHS reforms ‘seriously undermining’ patient care, warns Ian Brady

Moors Murderer Ian Brady has described Health Secretary’s Andrew Lansley’s health reforms as ‘criminal’ after undergoing a less than satisfactory NHS experience, it has, emerged. Brady’s...

0
Gary Stanton 03.07.12 2:15pm
Gary Stanton
God announces discovery of the Higgs Boson a day ahead of CERN

more futuristic things when He speaks to me next...

3
Not Amused 03.07.12 1:00pm
Not Amused
Murdoch: "Scientology is creepy and evil"

Doctors fear that media tycoon, Rupert Murdoch has completely lost his sense of irony. "This may be something he had to surrender when he became an American citizen for commercial reasons.",...

0
apepper 03.07.12 12:57pm
apepper
Sign on, you crazy Diamond 4
bonjonelson 03.07.12 12:35pm
cinquecento
Adam Ant confirms pioneering use of coloured tape healed nose sprain 0
button 03.07.12 12:05pm
button
Aztec priests 'vindicated' as rain halts Wimbledon again

Priests from the temple of the Aztec night god Tezcatlipoca at Tenochtitlan in Mexico have been gloating at the discomfiture of the British public as the Wimbledon championships are being held up by...

1
Oxbridge 03.07.12 11:57am
button
Barclays walking-plank order specifies 'must support a man with heavy pockets' 0
dvo4fun 03.07.12 11:56am
dvo4fun
Typo confirmed as Barclays now say Diamond has re signed as CEO 0
simonjmr 03.07.12 11:37am
simonjmr
Bob Diamond accused of fixing media interest in Barclays by resigning 0
simonjmr 03.07.12 10:24am
simonjmr
Bob Diamond’s severance pay to be set by panel of 15 customers

Barclays have announced that Bob Diamond’s severance pay will be set by the fully transparent mechanism of seeking the views of 15 random Barclays customers and then averaging the result. “By...

0
Yikes 03.07.12 10:00am
Yikes
Diamond to quit "before reputation of bankers is tarnished" 1
grumblechops 03.07.12 9:34am
kimllfixit
June 2012 "Wettest since Met Office rain records were destroyed in 2011 floods" 3
antharrison 03.07.12 9:29am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Double Diamond jubilee year resignation

Anne Diamond and her sometime brother Bob today have both resigned from their respective posts. Ms Diamond relinquishes her title of Gastric Band wearer 2012 and Bob stands down as CEO of Barclays...

0
simonjmr 03.07.12 9:28am
simonjmr
Rumours abound re the state of the nation....

Cameron and Osborne ready to do a runner...

0
Jesse Bigg 03.07.12 9:00am
Jesse Bigg
Osborne given new title.....

."The So-called"...

0
Jesse Bigg 03.07.12 8:42am
Jesse Bigg
Diamonds, obviously not.... 0
Jesse Bigg 03.07.12 8:35am
Jesse Bigg
Schoolchildren to be taught "upto 18"

Today Education Minister Michael Gove announced the next stage of his radical overhaul of British schools by unveiling plans to teach children all the numbers upto 18. Parents will be expected to...

1
DorsetBoy 03.07.12 8:27am
Psycadelic Squirrel
My hips DO lie: admits Shakira

Colombian songstress Shakira has admitted to deceiving fans with the lyrics of her hit song ‘hips don’t lie’, ‘I’ve lost count of the amount of the times my hips have bull shitted’ said...

2
Chris Hitchcock 03.07.12 8:14am
Golgo13
LIE BORE: Bank deceit explained by Robert Peston 0
Des Custard 03.07.12 7:41am
Des Custard
Hitler steps down. "He did the right thing" says George Osborne 0
dvo4fun 03.07.12 7:28am
dvo4fun
Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle to release 'Diamond Alights' 0
V Riddoch 03.07.12 7:13am
V Riddoch