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Oppose gay marriage, say ageing transvestite child molesters 0
Oxbridge 12.03.12 11:48am
Doctor solves flu jab shortage by injecting patients with Lemsip

A junior doctor in Bristol today made national headlines by ensuring that all people classed ‘high-risk’ flu sufferers would receive a jab to reduce their likelihood of contracting the...

kimllfixit 12.03.12 11:42am
Global Financial Crisis "could spread to rest of world" say European economists 0
Nick McCarr 12.03.12 11:39am
Nick McCarr
Kate Middleton woos crowds with 'Fuck Morrissey' t-shirt 1
12.03.12 11:48am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Charles Saatchi stolen by art thieves

The art world is in crisis today following the theft of art collector Charles Saatchi. Police believe he may have been stolen to order and could already be in the hands of a private collector...

Ludicity 27.03.12 8:53am
Female F1 test driver is ideal candidate as she doesn't need to park. 0
seymour totti 12.03.12 11:13am
seymour totti
'Jaunt Man Cameron' Gets An Earfull From Cleggy.....

."How come I have to do the housework while you swan off on another easy jaunt? Mr Fake Tan Man!"...

Jesse Bigg 16.03.12 10:26am
Jesse Bigg
Nick Clegg: "Go back to your constituencies, and prepare for oblivion"

I honestly hadn't realised the LibDems had a spring conference. Not exactly high profile, then. It would be nice if someone could do a parody of Cleggie's speech, though I guess the moment has gone...

Sinnick 12.03.12 1:16pm
Tabloids dub Vampire with hayfever as "The Pollen Count". 0
seymour totti 12.03.12 10:13am
seymour totti
Lib Dems win Crufts

"I'm comfortable with the term 'political poodle' if it means being the winning poodle," Nick Clegg told a rapturous crowd at the end of the Lib Dem conference. "First we win a place in government,...

nickb 12.03.12 9:58am
Prince Harry extends Jubilee tour to Columbia to be 'coked' up again 0
thackaray 12.03.12 9:55am
Cuisine emergency declared as chefs run out for wanky words for 'sauce' 0
Nick McCarr 12.03.12 9:34am
Nick McCarr
Duracell profit warning after EU battery hen ban.

"The last straw." said Duracell's spokesman in a highly charged press conference, " Following on from the previously reported loss of our AAA and AA ranges due to the financial situation in Europe we...

weematt 12.03.12 10:15am
Texan BBQ supplier's launch of Koran briquettes condemned as incendiary 0
cinquecento 12.03.12 7:57am
Husband sent valentine with 'Moon Pig' written on it wife tells divorce court. 0
MADJEZ 12.03.12 12:23am
Zumba : 'Just fucking aerobics' claims top scientist. 0
MADJEZ 12.03.12 12:20am
Kate Middleton 'still not pregnant', confirms shocked tabloids.

Shockwaves have reverberated across the UK media with the confirmation of the news that, despite nearly a year of marriage, Prince William and Kate Middleton are still yet to expect a child. [i]"To...

WatcherMark 11.03.12 10:31pm
Relief all round as G.I. child killer didn't burn a Koran 1
yussle 11.03.12 10:28pm
John Sentamu backs Catholic Archbishop - rumours of engagement "premature"

Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, has supported Archbishop Vincent Nichols in opposition to gay marriages. "We've worked very closely on this issue and it's become clear that there is something more...

apepper 12.03.12 4:17am
Double Glazing Co closes as customers tell them they're 'just window shopping'

I bet you could see right through that one...

Perks 11.03.12 9:09pm
Nick Clegg claims amendments to football rules mean he didn't score 'own goal'

Nick Clegg has upset members of his party during a charity football match at their spring conference by picking up his ball and walking off mid-match. His stubborn child -like behaviour comes as the...

Perks 12.03.12 9:45am
Catholic Church fights to keep loveless, soulless marriages special. 1
Mandy Lifeboat 11.03.12 9:00pm
Cameron orders anger management for cross section of coalition MPs.

On hearing that a cross section of government MPs were displeased with coalition polices David Cameron has ordered that they are identified and given anger management treatment. 'I am convinced that...

weematt 11.03.12 4:07pm
Excitement over Diamond Jubilee and Olympics can kill, say doctors

Over-excitement caused by the Queen's Diamond Jubilee will kill more older people this year than hyperthermia and over-excitement about the Olympics will kill more young people than the use of legal...

roybland 12.03.12 9:47am
Costa to ban loyalty-card abusers

A Woking man who used a loyalty card to obtain discount cups of coffee from his local Costa coffee shop has been branded a ‘shameless coffee whore’ by store manager Brad Fuller after being...

Earl Van Dyke 12.03.12 2:32pm
Hasbro launches new Action Man "Berzerker" outfit 0
Nails UK 11.03.12 10:49am
Nails UK
Toilet roll sales soar after Kate pays visit

The British Toilet Paper industry got a welcome boost yesterday when the Duchess of Cambridge was spotted coming out of a supermarket lavatory with a piece of toilet paper stuck to one shoe....

Nails UK 11.03.12 12:00pm
Desparng edtors remove letter from alphabet to kll tdal wave of weak phone gags 2
cinquecento 11.03.12 11:05am
Computer hacker broke into abortion site to get addresses of promiscuous girls. 2
MADJEZ 11.03.12 9:15pm
Woman erroneously rescued by coastguard "not drowning but waving" 0
Nails UK 11.03.12 10:27am
Nails UK