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Feuding sex therapists urged to reconsider their positions. 3
sredni vashta 04.07.13 11:05am
Yikes
New donor scheme backfires as people start building their own Welshmen

Evidence is being uncovered of the new "opt out" donor scheme being misused by unscrupulous hospital workers who are hijacking deliveries to start building Welshman. A member of the Welsh parliament...

2
apepper 04.07.13 11:03am
Wrenfoe
Proofreader admits ex-boyfriend not her typo and that she never really loved ham 2
Smart Alex 04.07.13 10:47am
Titus
Dorset police to be replaced by the Famous Five

Dorset's Police and Crime Commissioner has announced that he is replacing his entire police force with Enid Blyton's Famous Five. At a press conference today, David McKenzie said: 'It is clear that...

0
John Wiltshire 04.07.13 10:35am
John Wiltshire
U.S backs Africa's next top 'model'

Barack Obama used his Tanzania speech to endorse an African-based franchise of the ever popular reality TV show. Shown internationally in 170 countries, The CW extravaganza is yet to crack the...

0
Wrenfoe 04.07.13 9:58am
Wrenfoe
Dogs' hopes "raised then dashed" by qat ban

"At first we couldn't believe our luck," said Yorkshire terrier Jumble Smythe. "At last, we thought, human beings have come to their senses and banished these irritating creatures with their annoying...

3
nickb 04.07.13 9:50am
nickb
Village in shock as local park 'melts in the dark'

Residents of Somerset village Curry Mallet awoke to a shocking sight this morning. It appears that during the night, popular recreational facility MacArthur's Park had melted in the dark. The park...

13
Oxbridge 04.07.13 9:44am
Lucy4
Men finding love in a charity shop celebrated in new film 'Bric a Brac Mountain' 0
ronseal 04.07.13 9:30am
ronseal
Hotel California checkout policy means man can 'never leave'

Ron Drear of Epping spoke of his disappointment today after finding out that the five-star Hotel California to which he had brought his wife for a second honeymoon would not allow them to 'leave',...

6
rickwestwell 04.07.13 8:14am
John Wiltshire
Supermarket gives free food to customers who ignore their staff

Unfortunately, this is true....

1
Arthur 04.07.13 7:57am
Idiot
Scotland launches new desert - the Irn Brulée 2
bonjonelson 04.07.13 7:51am
bonjonelson
Egyptians head home after William Hague calls for restraint

Tahrir square is eerily quiet after tens of thousands of Egyptians heed William Hague's warning to "not get too excited, it'll only end in tears". One demonstrator said, "Britain has the finest...

1
grottymonty 04.07.13 7:46am
Sinnick
Toilet hippo swallows toilet duck 0
Dick Everyman 04.07.13 7:18am
Dick Everyman
Computer mouse inventor to be taken for environmental disposal. 0
Boutros 04.07.13 7:16am
Boutros
Morsi forced to throw in the finest Egyptian cotton towel 1
Dumbnews 04.07.13 7:16am
Sinnick
Islamic Brotherhood of Man releases 'Save all your curses for me' 2
antharrison 04.07.13 7:13am
Sinnick
Poland's last remaining flush toilet breaks down 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 04.07.13 6:44am
blacklesbianandproudofit
Dyslexic gunfighter challenges opponent to a duet 1
Smart Alex 04.07.13 12:06am
Titus
Arab world in shock as Muslim Sisterhood concedes defeat in counter coup attempt 0
Dick Everyman 03.07.13 10:43pm
Dick Everyman
Steam enthusiasts remake the fastest cuppa

Steam enthusiasts from all over the world gathered, yesterday, at the National Railway Station Buffet Museum at York to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the railway equivalent of the four minute...

2
Lucy4 03.07.13 9:46pm
Arthur
Pope John Paul II to be Sainted for Knighting Savile

The Vatican committee has now attributed the deceased pontiff with the miracle of "turning Paedophiles into Pillars of Society". The Congregation for the Causes of Saints ruled that transformations...

3
Wrenfoe 03.07.13 9:10pm
Arthur
British tourist refuses to pay French restaurant bill because custard was burnt

'It was ridiculous,' said Harry English of Kent. 'I had to smash the topping with a spoon, and when I'd done that there was nothing underneath. 'The mange-tout were a waste of money, too. They were...

3
Arthur 03.07.13 8:49pm
Squudge
Uproar At Pedants' Association AGM When Chairman Reports "Less Members Joining"

The meeting became no calmer when he went on to speak of the membership being decimated by competition from other organisations...

11
Titus 03.07.13 8:40pm
Titus
Cat Stevens Matthew And Son Now the norm in British industry

A recent survey by the Council of Pretentious Songwriting has revealed that an ancient track by beardy tree-hugging crooner Cat Stevens - Matthew And Son - from the days of black and white...

1
Paddy Berzinski 03.07.13 8:27pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Welsh police refuse to reveal what Operation Ewe-tree is about 1
sydalg 03.07.13 4:55pm
Titus
Swansea Signing Shelvey Shoddy 0
victimms 03.07.13 4:35pm
victimms
Men 'thrilled' with retailers plans to provide 'safe zones' on shopping trips

Men all across the UK were 'over-the-moon' and 'relieved' today after major retailers John lewis, Debenhams and Primark all agreed plans to revolutionise the way men experience shopping with their...

2
Jesus H 03.07.13 4:12pm
Jesus H
Tesco PR department “Can’t be arsed anymore”

Tesco one of the world’s largest supermarket chains said they have been forced to put all of their Public Relations department on permanent leave after they collectively decided ‘they couldn’t...

3
theinvisiblecitychannels 03.07.13 4:03pm
theinvisiblecitychannels
Mandela amazed to learn Rolling Stones still alive 1
sydalg 03.07.13 3:52pm
Titus
'1001 Books to Read Before You Die', fails to feature itself

Literary paradox generated...

0
Kirby Muxloe 03.07.13 3:45pm
Kirby Muxloe