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Nick Clegg tells conference “This time next year we’ll be Millionaires”

Nick Clegg has delivered a rousing speech to the despondent Liberal democrats on the last day of their conference during which he promised that if they stick with him they would all soon be enjoying...

0
Rizzo 26.09.12 2:13pm
Rizzo
Trenton Oldfield found guilty of having poncey elitist name.

Pots and kettles, Trenton, pots and kettles...

0
wallster 26.09.12 1:43pm
wallster
Jesus Christ. What next?

Michael Gove yesterday announced plans to reintroduce the true meaning of Christmas back into the school curriculum. He would do this with the help of Christmas authorities such as Argos, Amazon and...

2
andydog 26.09.12 1:41pm
Deadcode
Public to choose new Archbishop of Canterbury in ‘The Synod’s Got Talent’

A new ITV show, [i]The Synod’s Got Talent,[/i] will select the new Archbishop of Canterbury from a public vote cast by primetime TV viewers. Along with demonstrating their skills in showing how the...

5
DustyBinLaden 26.09.12 1:37pm
Deadcode
“Homework first”, insists teacher, “and never more than once on a school night”. 0
Tripod 26.09.12 1:11pm
Tripod
Greek police use teargas. Dutch police prefer weed 0
andydog 26.09.12 12:28pm
andydog
Justin Lee Collins to relaunch career with Dossier Who? 0
simonjmr 26.09.12 12:26pm
simonjmr
Cameron hails success of "employing Andrews"

David Cameron confirmed yesterday he remains committed to the core cabinet policy of "employing at least one man called Andrew".  'We've always had great value from  Andys' said the PM. 'Coulson...

0
SuburbanDad 26.09.12 12:00pm
SuburbanDad
Rumours of Pukka - Easyjet partnership dismissed as 'Pie in the Sky'

(Sinnick told me to )...

0
Midfield Diamond 26.09.12 11:57am
Midfield Diamond
Castration researchers no longer have the balls to finish study into longevity 0
thackaray 26.09.12 11:53am
thackaray
Clegg speech marred by chants of 'Always the Victim, Never Your Fault' 0
26.09.12 11:48am
Mr Whippy tune linked to temporary insanity in kids 0
vertical 26.09.12 11:34am
vertical
removed

.., .. .. been done before (and indeed done again 2 minutes later)...

0
cinquecento 26.09.12 11:21am
cinquecento
'Windmills of your mind' blamed for headaches and eyesores 1
26.09.12 11:14am
malgor
Maths teacher carried "the one" 1
jamsieoconnor 26.09.12 10:51am
umfuli
Wind farmer plunges 20,000 feet to his death

The community in the small village of Cushendun in County Antrim was in shock last night after the tragic death of popular local farmer Robert McIntyre (68). McIntyre, who had worked the land...

0
jamsieoconnor 26.09.12 10:42am
jamsieoconnor
Changed my mind 1
button 26.09.12 10:32am
malgor
UK rocked by storms as activists break into wind farms to 'liberate captives'

.. NEAT-O...

0
cinquecento 26.09.12 10:30am
cinquecento
The problem with 29 year olds is there's 20 of them" says maths teacher 0
simonjmr 26.09.12 10:08am
simonjmr
Maths teacher last heard "You'll never catch me going out with a 15 year old" 0
simonjmr 26.09.12 10:06am
simonjmr
French police search for eloped Bride and Groomer 1
charlies_hat 26.09.12 10:06am
andydog
Mathis teacher miscalculates answer to differential problem 0
Cinders 26.09.12 9:46am
Cinders
New Chinese Navy Threat

Defence analysts have noted with alarm the commissioning of the Chinese navy’s new aircraft carrier, Liaoning. In keeping with the current trend, the carrier does not fly aircraft. The Royal Navy...

0
Cinders 26.09.12 9:35am
Cinders
Maths teacher proves that 30 goes into 15 loads of times.. 3
misterjingles 26.09.12 9:34am
Queen of Tarts
Wind farmer buys new ex-tractor 7
charlies_hat 26.09.12 9:32am
Queen of Tarts
'We've more personal data than we can actually sell to spammers' say Google

Privacy campaigners have been alarmed at reports that following the success of Google Street View, the company may soon be launching FrontRoom View® 'Individual privacy will always be a priority'...

1
vertical 26.09.12 9:24am
vertical
Romney-designed private jets to have “indoor-outdoor flow, plus pool”

Mitt Romney has unveiled plans to manufacture bespoke private jets that feature French doors opening out to a swimming pool and BBQ area on one wing, and a tennis court and sweeping croquet lawn on...

0
Yikes 26.09.12 8:51am
Yikes
Maths teacher argues that she is 15 base 12

[going for most obscure & least funny joke on this]...

3
Sinnick 26.09.12 8:45am
Midfield Diamond
Police deny snake found in drawer is Piers Morgan 0
custard cream 26.09.12 8:41am
custard cream
Barack Obama Pulls Out Of US Election - "It Just Ain't Worth It"

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/09/25/madonna-calls-president-obama-black-muslim-says-shell-strip-onstage-if-wins/?intcmp=features...

2
26.09.12 8:14am
Sinnick