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Man killed by falling bookies shop sign.

Bookies say the odds on that happening are "A million to one"...

Iscariot 28.01.13 10:08pm
Mayan 70's Disco Band's deadly prophecy comes true

(too hot for newsbiscuit?)...

brd888 28.01.13 9:14pm
Toton station to be renamed Nottingham Parkway...

as Parkway is rail-speak for "nowhere near"...

deskpilot3 28.01.13 8:23pm
Brian Cox to present ‘Wonders of my Hair’ in the spring.

Following the success of ‘Wonders of the Universe’ and ‘Wonders of Life’ the BBC has announced that Professor Brian Cox is to front a new 6 part series entitled ‘The Wonders of My Hair’...

TheNewsWalrus 28.01.13 8:21pm
Scientist confirms Ed Miliband is crystal clear

A scientist offered proof today that Labour leader, Ed Miliband, is as clear as he claims and probably even clearer. Professor Sidney Cataract of COPNIL - the Cambridge Political Neuroscience...

28.01.13 8:14pm
Dutch monarch abdicates to devote more time to juggling pint pots. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 28.01.13 7:37pm
Lib Dems successful in sending monkey into cabinet 0
andhrimnir 28.01.13 6:55pm
“Forget what we told you last year”, says Home Secretary. “Britain is shit”...

After polishing the nation’s image over the last few years, during the lead-up to the 2012 Olympics, the Home Office is now trying to rein in the self-praise in the hope of scaring off the hordes...

Tripod 28.01.13 6:31pm
I'll do what's best for the country insists Clegg as he hires private hit-man

To take out Cameron...

Ian Searle 28.01.13 6:20pm
Ian Searle
IKEA on alert after Iranians launch monkey into space. 0
bonjonelson 28.01.13 6:19pm
Prince Charles urges Queen to "go Dutch". More soon. 0
Gaz 28.01.13 6:08pm
North Korea "sends fried monkey into space". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 28.01.13 5:45pm
Al OPecia
Gordon’s Second-hand Monkey Faeces Emporium issues profit warning

With Britain’s high streets in terminal decline, there are fears that another ‘household name’ is facing financial trouble. With 2,684 outlets across some 35 towns, Gordon’s Second-hand...

28.01.13 4:47pm
Paddy Berzinski
Channel Tunnel to be equipped with giant aquarium

Following criticism that there’s nothing for passengers to do during the 35 minute crossing between Folkestone and Calais, Eurotunnel are installing a giant aquarium along each side of the Channel...

Midfield Diamond 28.01.13 4:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Abou Zeid: "I never thought Drynuary would be so hard"

It's been a real busy month for me, I've just been in Algeria in a business trip and can't wait to just kick back amongst my 7 wives and just crack open a cold one. But no, because for the past 28...

quango 28.01.13 3:48pm
Pickled onion banned from driving 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 28.01.13 3:47pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Scots Bid to Join 'Axis of Evil' instead of United Kingdom is Turned Down ...

by Al Qaeda on grounds of "Unacceptable addiction to violence and the uncompromising fundamentalist fanaticism of the Wee Free Kirk"...

Titus 28.01.13 3:36pm
Flooding risk as Channel Tunnel company promise to 'smash the glass ceiling' 0
One Line Only 28.01.13 3:03pm
One Line Only
Bruce Wayne in tax dodge scandal…

It appears that the “one rule of them and another rule for others” is very much alive as it was revealed by the Gotham Gazette last week. Reporter Vicky Vale said “Year after year, some...

hardev 28.01.13 2:44pm
“Meat eaters can be vegetarians too”, says Veggie Society...

“Eating meat and being vegetarian should not be mutually exclusive”, said Sally Barnes, on behalf of the Vegetarian Society. “Let’s not get hung up on arbitrary distinctions. We want more...

Tripod 28.01.13 1:45pm
Iran sends monkey into space.

MADJEZ 28.01.13 1:39pm
'Don't make it too easy for us,' satirists tell Tesco

After a pop-up advertisement for Tesco's pet insurance inadvertently appeared on the satirical news website NewsBiscuit, regular contributors have criticised the mid-market horsemeat purveyor chain...

Oxbridge 28.01.13 1:09pm
Mrs Gump finally discovers handy guide printed in lid of chocolate box 0
Smart Alex 28.01.13 12:57pm
Smart Alex
Pulled 'til I write a sub for for it 0
Nowherefast 28.01.13 10:44am
Ariel Sharon shows traces of brain activity, doctors to retest Boris Johnson

no more later...

gregle 28.01.13 10:33am
Andrex's 'clean bum' advertising campaign licks opposition 2
Dick Everyman 28.01.13 10:21am
Dick Everyman
“Scotland joining Axis of Evil”, says Alex Salmond...

“The United Kingdom isn’t the only game in town”, insists Alex Salmond, Scotland’s first minister, bullishly. “We’re raising our sights. Having proved ourselves to be self-sufficient in...

Tripod 28.01.13 9:10am
HS2 Campaigners suggest compromise route

[i]Left alert idea - just need someone clever (pinxit?) to provide a map with a route between Birmingham Leeds and Manchester that goes all over the North of England in squiggly (ie non straight)...

Stan 28.01.13 8:45am
Linda McCartney Sausages found to contain 29% of Heather Mills 6
Nowherefast 28.01.13 8:32am
David Attenborough's Wife Gives Birth To Gibbon

The world of entertainment was stunned last night at the news that the wife of iconic naturalist and broadcaster David Attenborough has given birth to a 7lb 5oz Sumatran Gibbon in The Chelsea And...

Jonny Shlep 28.01.13 7:05am
Jonny Shlep