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Insurance company turns down claim because city was built on rock and roll 0
Ian Searle 04.12.12 5:26pm
Ian Searle
District Council turns down Israeli planning application for 3000 new homes

East Jerusalem District Council bosses today turned down an outline planning application for 3000 new 'executive family homes' to be built on former farming land on the West Bank. Rejecting the...

Mandy Lifeboat 04.12.12 4:06pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Demba Ba contract release triggered by custard cream

Newcastle stalwart Demba Ba has revealed that a clause in his contract will allow him to leave Newcastle if anyone offers him a custard cream...

grottymonty 04.12.12 3:57pm
George Osborne has a perfectly blank face claims Danny Alexander

Danny Alexander has unveiled today that George Osborne has a perfectly blank face and that he and other governmental aides have to paint on his expressions. "Oh we do have a laugh somedays", said...

simonjmr 04.12.12 3:47pm
Scottish wildcats claim immigrant Panda's have stolen jobs 0
simonjmr 04.12.12 3:43pm
Kate may have contracted hyperemesis gravidarum on a recent visit to Hogwarts 0
medici2471 04.12.12 3:25pm
Soldier 'working from home' kills three neighbours 7
Scroat 04.12.12 3:04pm
Munich couple claim Bristol's German xmas market 'the best ever'

After a tourist visit to Bristol's German xmas market, Munich couple Hans and Gerta Schmidt have claimed that its the "best ever". "We were surprised and enthralled that a city like Bristol could...

simonjmr 04.12.12 3:03pm
'No other news except Royal Baby' confirm BBC

The BBC has recently confirmed that the announcement of the long-overdue pregnancy of Kate Middleton has ensured that there there will be no other news [i]"for the next week or so"[/i]. Recent...

WatcherMark 04.12.12 2:18pm
Atheists and “religious nutjobs” to be welcomed into the Scouts...

Throughout the 105-year history of the organisation, scouts have pledge their allegience to God and to the monarch of the day. It’s a promise that recalls a more innocent time when ‘scouting for...

Tripod 04.12.12 2:14pm
Iran regrets forcing captured US drone to start talking

Iranian authorities have begged the US President to come and deactivate a captured US Drone that began to talk under interrogation. "We can't get the bloody thing to shut up," said Mustafa...

ronseal 04.12.12 2:14pm
Pensioner wants return to "good old days, when we talked about her tits instead" 0
Gaz 04.12.12 1:12pm
Sky News to début "Womb Cam". More soon. 0
Gaz 04.12.12 1:07pm
Blanket coverage of royal pregnancy extends to duvets and eiderdowns too... 1
Tripod 04.12.12 1:05pm
Prince Harry suffering sickness and dehydration after celebrating baby news. 0
MADJEZ 04.12.12 12:57pm
Royal foetus complains of press intrusion.

More blanket coverage soon...

MADJEZ 04.12.12 12:50pm
Mayor Unveils New Transport System for London This press release was originally issued by the Greater London Authority's press office, 7th June 10: New Sedan Chair to use greenest...

afternoonslow 04.12.12 12:07pm
Tabloid editors debate whether to print first pictures of royal abortion... 0
Tripod 04.12.12 12:01pm
Curiosity 'eight weeks pregnant' NASA confirms.

NASA has announced that they have been closely monitoring the ‘Duchess of Curiosity’ as they have started to call their Mars Rover, following her recent erratic behaviour. ‘At first we thought...

malgor 04.12.12 11:57am
Ireland declares war on Isle of Wight

Ireland's President today declared that the country was now "at a de-facto state of war with the Isle of Wight" and that military activities would commence "as soon as our tank is finished pulling...

Gaz 04.12.12 10:51am
New Royal Baby to be named ‘Your Highness’

New Royal Baby to be named ‘Your Highness’ – a Palace Spokesperson explained – “The choice of name for the new Royal Baby is vitally important, both Wills and Kate recognize how things have...

HenryMJUK 04.12.12 10:26am
Daily Express decides Royal baby will be called Diana 1
Sinnick 04.12.12 10:12am
Press spokesman says they respect privacy as he attempts to enter Kate's womb. 0
Gaz 04.12.12 10:11am
Nation nervously awaits results from Royal baby 'ginger test'. 0
Gaz 04.12.12 10:04am
David Icke charged with attempted theft of egg. 0
reforse 04.12.12 9:55am
Spartacus Chetwynd unveils "Mecca art pig" at Turner Prize

The Turner Prize nominee unveiled her new artwork / performance piece in advance of this weeks Turner Prize award ceremony. It's full title is "Aladdin's vehicle unravelled Mecca Art Pig" if...

simonjmr 04.12.12 9:29am
Porn a big hit in Pound Land 0
Dick Everyman 04.12.12 9:26am
Dick Everyman
Royal Baby

Following on from the recent discovery of the mystical lair of unicorns in North Korea, Doctors in the UK today announced the discovery of yet another magical animal - Babius Royalus, or a Royal Baby...

ionb 04.12.12 8:05am
“Back to the family’s roots” for baby's name. Welcome King Adolf the First... 7
Tripod 04.12.12 5:21am
Smart Alex
Where there's a Will, there's a wain

One for the Celts. More soon...

NewCriminal 04.12.12 2:59am