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London 2012: Assisted Suicide law suspension bid for Olympics

Following the announcement of the suspension of the Sunday Trading laws by the Chancellor George Osborne, Home Secretary Theresa May is set to announce the suspension of the assisted suicide laws. ...

MotoPopps 18.03.12 8:47pm
Hundreds of injury lawyers injured at work

in stampede to join Bolton Wanderers supporters club...

yussle 18.03.12 4:16pm
Stranded potholers had no back up plan.

inspired by ronseal...

weematt 18.03.12 7:20pm
IOW fire crew under fire, even slower than usual

Isle of Wight residents were more upset than normal when they learned that it took local volunteer fire officers over two hours to attend a fire at the Ryde Castle Hotel, Isle of Wight. Normally most...

weematt 18.03.12 2:04pm
Police work on theory no one broke into Millibands office, but he broke out.

The public are warned he may be dangerous...

Ian Searle 18.03.12 1:31pm
Ian Searle
Return to traditional values as kids to be told if their best "not good enough" 0
quango 18.03.12 12:18pm
Panic grows as it is revealed that Earth's atmosphere is "over 78% nitrogen" 0
Nick McCarr 18.03.12 11:44am
Nick McCarr
Failed Apiarist had no Plan Bee 5
ronseal 21.03.12 12:28pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Authorities turn to Drogba for advice about onfield strokes 0
Drylaw 18.03.12 11:07am
New Archbishop to be chosen via TV variety show, Bishops Got Talent

The Church of England has confirmed that the new Archbishop of Canterbury will be selected via public phone vote on a TV talent show hosted by Ant and Dec. ‘Bishops Got Talent will bring the...

Ludicity 21.03.12 4:21am
I was Peter Tatchell’s secret lover, claims woman.

‘Peter and I had a full and loving relationship’ says Anna Carter, 48, talking for the first time of their when her 22 year relationship with pocket firebrand Peter Tatchell. ‘It was an open...

Mrs Olly Murs 18.03.12 10:09am
Mrs Olly Murs
Wife divorces barista who took his work home

A Cafe Nero barista who took his work too seriously is facing divorce. 'As soon as Joe arrived home from the coffee shop, he started,' his wife Jane said, 'banging the milk jug on the table,...

roybland 18.03.12 11:11am
CoE to offer headquarters franchise in cost cutting move

Following the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury the Church of England is to use the franchising business model to decide where its headquarters is located. The CoE is thought to favour the...

weematt 18.03.12 9:01am
Homeless may be used as street lighting

Homeless people may be used as street lighting under new government plans to be announced by George Osborne in Wednesday's Budget. The proposal follows the recent use of homeless people as roving...

roybland 18.03.12 4:17pm
Glimmer Of Hope After Germanys Earless Rabbit's Untimely death

The death of Til The Earless Rabbit stunned a nation, gasps of horror could be heard from the Reichstag to the Danube as the unfortunate photographer wiped the unsightly step kill from his shoe. But...

anhodika 18.03.12 12:10am
TUC rejoice as public linked to private sector pay "Bring on the bonuses!"

more later...

dvo4fun 17.03.12 6:29pm
Tofu rump steaks launched under brand name 'I Can't Believe It's Not Buttocks!' 2
Haywood Manley 17.03.12 7:46pm
Scotland to vote on independence from 6 Nations. 4
Griffin 19.03.12 3:36pm
New law requires 50% of all Newsbiscuit posts to be written by women 8
quango 19.03.12 2:31pm
Spanish farmer finds image of Wayne Rooney on sack of potatoes. 1
Lemon difficult 17.03.12 1:25pm
Al OPecia
Saint Patrick arrested in clerical sex abuse probe

Prominent national saint and self appointed first bishop of Ireland, Saint Patrick, is believed to be in police custody this evening after police swooped on a large parade in Dublin city centre this...

jamsieoconnor 17.03.12 12:22pm
Lack or true grit in the workplace causes public sector pay freeze 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 12:15pm
MPs in poorer parts of UK to be paid less.

George Osborne will announce plans to pay lower salaries to Members of Parliament in poorer parts of the country in his budget next week. The chancellor will argue that MPs pay should mimic the...

Ian 17.03.12 5:28pm
Public sector workers to have equal pay with the unemployed

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is expected to announce plans to try and equalize the pay in the public and unemployed sectors. "Treasury research has found that public sector workers has a pay...

apepper 17.03.12 12:08pm
Motherfuckers looking forward to Sunday 28
roybland 23.03.12 9:26pm
Ryanair makes autopilots redundant

CEO Michael O'Leary announced today that in future Ryanair would cease to operate aircraft with fancy complicated autopilots and the like., "We like to keep tings simple and cheap at Ryanair." he...

weematt 18.03.12 10:25pm
The All New Jeni B
London barman attempts other 3 card suits in pint of Guiness 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 10:06am
Sobriety Orders, low tech method to be tried first.

A pilot scheme is planned by the government to test the use of Sobriety Orders. This is an approach used in the USA to reduce alchohol inflamed crime. In the USA offenders are required to wear a...

weematt 17.03.12 9:57am
Clooney's cellmate "Seen allovum fillums twaace" 0
Drylaw 17.03.12 9:26am
British management consultants best at 'grey sky thinking' claims CBI. 0
MADJEZ 17.03.12 9:20am