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Isaac Azimov develops the iRobot 0
Smart Alex 3 years

I'll get my coat...

Creative Roman Emperor invents iClaudius 1
Sinnick 3 years

(hat-tip to Mrs Nick)...

HM Queen charges Fred Goodwin £25 for letter withdrawing knighthood 7
antharrison 3 years
Residents at care home “proper chuffed” as royal visitor ignores buffet 4
kimllfixit 3 years

Linda Phillips, Head Nursing Executive at the Sunshine Towers old peoples’ home in Devon, this morning told of the residents’ delight when the visit from Princess Anne resulted in the provision...

Goodwin 'Didnt' Want it Anyway' 7
LizzyG 3 years

Fred Goodwin reacted to the stripping of his knighthood today saying "I didn't even want it anyway." Fred had received his knighthood in 2004 for services to banking having invented the popular...

Miliband demands to know what PM did about last government cock ups 3
ronseal 3 years

Ed Miliband had a brilliant Prime Minister's Question Time today, landing several telling blows on his Old Etonian foe. "What I'm asking is this: Where was the current Prime Minister, when we were...

Labour hails breakthrough which allows access to the thoughts of coma patients 0
dvo4fun 3 years
Clarkson defends new series of 'The Black and White Top Gear Show' 7
3 years

Controversial car botherer Jeremy Clarkson has defended the latest series of the Sunday tea-time race-row programme, 'The Black and White Top Gear Show'. Clarkson and his co-presenters have been...

Lawyers confirm Rosie Redknapp 'not a happy bunny' but a very rich doggie 0
simonjmr 3 years
Fred Goodwin sacked from Channel 4's "Deal or no deal" 0
antharrison 3 years
Helen Skelton to join Ellen MacArthur in new bid for World Yachting Record. 0
rob box 3 years

" This time, it won't be Plain Sailing.", Say's Spokesperson., "And btw . This time, don't expect ME to look after the cat."...

Helen Skelton to join Ellen MacArthur in new bid for World Yachting Record. 0
rob box 3 years
Fred Goodwin awarded title of ‘Banker’ under new dishonours system 1
Long Distance Clara 3 years

Following the decision to strip former RBS boss Fred Goodwin of his knighthood, Buckingham Palace has unveiled a new dishonours system to recognise those who have made a ‘substantial and prolonged...

Mrs Brian Cox admits that she often has trouble locating her husband 1
medici2471 3 years
Angela Merkel to present Fred Goodwin with Iron Cross 0
3 years

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has spoken in gushing terms about her agent Fred Goodwin, ahead of the ceremony to present him with the Iron Cross. "By undermining the value of the paper on which...

Health and Safety Executive to ban emotional roller-coasters. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Queen shreds Goodwin's knighthood. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years
Sainsbury rename Lion Bar the 'High Fibre Diet Turd Bar' 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Calls for Sir Max Mosley to be stripped 0
medici2471 3 years
Dyson launch the electrically heated loft-ladder 9
dvo4fun 3 years

James Dyson, the designer of many innovative products no-one knew they needed, announced his company's latest must-have domestic appliance at a press conference today. "A large proportion of...

Burke's Peerage reveals obligatory 'Twat' title to be added to Honours process 0
pere floza 3 years
Man undergoing brain surgery is thinking 'F************ck!!!' 0
Scroat 3 years

More brainwaves soon...

Hester to be knighted and deknighted on same day. Then slapped. 0
cinquecento 3 years
Barclays' Bob Cubic-Zirconia protests as Queen strips him of diamond status 0
cinquecento 3 years
Fred Goodwin stripped of 50 yds Scottish swimmer award,only left with pension 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more cash later...

Hawking: "I'll now communicate by fax only." 2
hughesroland 3 years
ASDA rebrand 'Smart Price' after customers realise it 'Tastes Like Shit' 0
Perks 3 years

Following on from the announcement by Sainsbury’s that they are changing the name of their tiger bread to ‘giraffe bread’ after receiving a letter from a 3 year old saying the pattern looked...

Tories rebranded as 'Posh Twits' following letter from girl, 3 2
kga6 3 years

A letter to the Government from a 3 year old girl has been circulating the internet with such speed and support that David Cameron has agreed to rename his party 'The Posh Twits'. The circulating...

Engineers stumble upon low carbon-foot print green car, the Used car 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Cockney Pilots scare air passengers 4
Marko 3 years

A recent survey has found that when on an airplane, passengers are more relaxed whilst coming in to land when the pilot has a 'posh' accent, as opposed to a regional twang., Cockney pilots top the...