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Leveson Inquiry delayed to allow time to appoint Parseltongue translator

Rebekah Brooks's appearance before the Leveson Inquiry has been delayed to allow the inquiry team to recruit an official Parseltongue translator. The surprise move was announced by a frustrated Lord...

6
The Paper Ostrich 11.05.12 11:34pm
Qoxiivi
Breaking news - Duchess of Cambridge wears frock, has dinner. 0
Maverick 11.05.12 10:30pm
Maverick
Proctologist's Association to launch social networking site - "Arsebook". 0
Maverick 11.05.12 10:28pm
Maverick
Government suggests we 'LOL' or rather Laugh Over Leveson 0
Underconstruction 11.05.12 9:43pm
Underconstruction
Rebekah's hairdresser always signed his texts to her with 'LOL' 1
bonjonelson 11.05.12 9:25pm
Scroat
Maude Sold Shares In Jerrycan Manufacturers . . . Yesterday

More in 30 years time . . . via the National Archives...

0
Terrance Clench 11.05.12 9:06pm
Terrance Clench
Robert Peston chosen to be the voice of Olympic Sonic Weapon 0
Boutros 11.05.12 9:03pm
Boutros
Army Bagpipe Corp on standby to deploy "sonic weapon" at Olympics 0
grumblechops 11.05.12 7:34pm
grumblechops
Recovered World War II mine now fit for purpose

Britain's naval defence capability has been significantly enhanced after the recovery and restoration of a German Mine found buried in mud-flats off of Shoeburyness in Essex., Second Sealord Admiral...

0
Underconstruction 11.05.12 7:14pm
Underconstruction
John Kettley and Micheal Fish to give this year's Queen's speech 3
simonjmr 11.05.12 5:29pm
Sinnick
Hard Working Families "not working as hard as was thought" says report

A major plank of the Government's economic policy was thrown into doubt today as a newly published report revealed that many of the Hard Working Families that had been thought to provide the backbone...

2
Mick99 11.05.12 5:13pm
Golgo13
'Monopoly' Game Updated To Reflect Current Recession

PARKER BROTHERS DECIDES TO UPDATE ITS 'MONOPOLY' GAME. Due to recent world economic changes, the Parker Brothers game company has announced that it is going to update its world famous game...

4
11.05.12 3:18pm
RickH
Doin' The Big Nasty For Our Friends In The Animal Kingdom Can Indeed Be Nasty

Human beings appear to be the only creatures that can have sex sheerly out of pleasure. The animals seem to do it mostly as a matter of course. I mean, can you imagine a lobster having pleasure out...

0
11.05.12 2:59pm
WH Smith says "How Much?!?" and walks out of Clinton Cards buyout 0
Nails UK 11.05.12 2:58pm
Nails UK
Brooks; "Murdoch paid for my broomstick."

Rebekeh Brooks has admitted that Rupert Murdoch bought her a luxury broomstick and cauldron. "I was just too busy and he stepped in to call Harrods dark arts department."...

0
apepper 11.05.12 2:55pm
apepper
New JICTAR ratings indicate Leveson show has 'jumped the shark' 0
ronseal 11.05.12 2:49pm
ronseal
Leveson agrees to move enquiry from cyber-cafe. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.05.12 2:39pm
Al OPecia
Psychic barber decides to go back to his roots

Popular psychic Gordon Smith, famously known as “The Psychic Barber”, has announced he is giving up mediumship and is returning to his barber’s shop in Glasgow. “I had seen it coming for a...

0
Nails UK 11.05.12 2:39pm
Nails UK
Jerry Springer sues Leveson Inquiry over TV show format copyright breach

Lord Leveson could find himself the subject of an extraordinary rendition, for stealing TV show formats from Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer is reported to be hopping mad over obvious similarities...

0
ronseal 11.05.12 2:04pm
ronseal
Royal Jubilee engagements causing backlog of unopened supermarkets

Supermarket giants including Tesco and Sainsbury's have led angry calls for the Royal Family to 'stop fannying about for the Jubilee' after news emerged that 40 fully-stocked supermarkets have been...

2
The Paper Ostrich 11.05.12 1:47pm
Boutros
Far Right London March - "was a success" says racist white Metropolitan Police 0
thackaray 11.05.12 12:37pm
thackaray
Cameron told Brooks to "Keep your head up"

I'm struggling to think of a punchline. Nothing springs to mind at all. I'm sure there's some way I could twist this into something funny or rude, but words escape me...

1
Sinnick 11.05.12 12:34pm
tedweasel
As Coalition parties renew vows drought ends in some parts of UK 0
simonjmr 11.05.12 11:48am
simonjmr
Second underwear bomb as Rebekah Brooks pants on fire. 0
MADJEZ 11.05.12 11:36am
MADJEZ
Osama Bin laden did corporate video for Abbey National 0
ronseal 11.05.12 10:54am
ronseal
Explosive in pants bomb identified as 'chicken phall'.

More destroyed undergarments soon...

0
Thor 11.05.12 10:19am
Thor
Keep your head down Dave, pleads Rebekah

Mmmmore soon...

1
medici2471 11.05.12 10:16am
medici2471
Town Hall future in doubt

The future of the iconic Town Hall chain was in doubt last night as its owners struggled to find investors ready to take on the troubled brand. Town Hall has been a mainstay of Britain’s urban...

3
Bravenewmalden 11.05.12 10:09am
dvo4fun
Olympic fag lit

The official Olympic cigarette - a Rothmans - was ceremoniously lit in Athens yesterday, and the smoker will run threequarters of a mile with it before the next smoker gets a light off it, takes a...

3
nickb 11.05.12 8:59am
Qoxiivi
Queen to be a judge on "Civil Service's got talent". Less soon. 1
Maverick 11.05.12 8:28am
MADJEZ