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Homeless may be used as street lighting

Homeless people may be used as street lighting under new government plans to be announced by George Osborne in Wednesday's Budget. The proposal follows the recent use of homeless people as roving...

3
roybland 18.03.12 4:17pm
writinginbsl
Glimmer Of Hope After Germanys Earless Rabbit's Untimely death

The death of Til The Earless Rabbit stunned a nation, gasps of horror could be heard from the Reichstag to the Danube as the unfortunate photographer wiped the unsightly step kill from his shoe. But...

0
anhodika 18.03.12 12:10am
anhodika
TUC rejoice as public linked to private sector pay "Bring on the bonuses!"

more later...

1
dvo4fun 17.03.12 6:29pm
Perks
Tofu rump steaks launched under brand name 'I Can't Believe It's Not Buttocks!' 2
Haywood Manley 17.03.12 7:46pm
JETFAB
Scotland to vote on independence from 6 Nations. 4
Griffin 19.03.12 3:36pm
simonjmr
New law requires 50% of all Newsbiscuit posts to be written by women 8
quango 19.03.12 2:31pm
kimllfixit
Spanish farmer finds image of Wayne Rooney on sack of potatoes. 1
Lemon difficult 17.03.12 1:25pm
Al OPecia
Saint Patrick arrested in clerical sex abuse probe

Prominent national saint and self appointed first bishop of Ireland, Saint Patrick, is believed to be in police custody this evening after police swooped on a large parade in Dublin city centre this...

0
jamsieoconnor 17.03.12 12:22pm
jamsieoconnor
Lack or true grit in the workplace causes public sector pay freeze 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 12:15pm
charlies_hat
MPs in poorer parts of UK to be paid less.

George Osborne will announce plans to pay lower salaries to Members of Parliament in poorer parts of the country in his budget next week. The chancellor will argue that MPs pay should mimic the...

2
Ian 17.03.12 5:28pm
virtuallywill
Public sector workers to have equal pay with the unemployed

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is expected to announce plans to try and equalize the pay in the public and unemployed sectors. "Treasury research has found that public sector workers has a pay...

0
apepper 17.03.12 12:08pm
apepper
Motherfuckers looking forward to Sunday 28
roybland 23.03.12 9:26pm
nickb
Ryanair makes autopilots redundant

CEO Michael O'Leary announced today that in future Ryanair would cease to operate aircraft with fancy complicated autopilots and the like., "We like to keep tings simple and cheap at Ryanair." he...

4
weematt 18.03.12 10:25pm
The All New Jeni B
London barman attempts other 3 card suits in pint of Guiness 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 10:06am
charlies_hat
Sobriety Orders, low tech method to be tried first.

A pilot scheme is planned by the government to test the use of Sobriety Orders. This is an approach used in the USA to reduce alchohol inflamed crime. In the USA offenders are required to wear a...

0
weematt 17.03.12 9:57am
weematt
Clooney's cellmate "Seen allovum fillums twaace" 0
Drylaw 17.03.12 9:26am
Drylaw
British management consultants best at 'grey sky thinking' claims CBI. 0
MADJEZ 17.03.12 9:20am
MADJEZ
Entertainment Communications Supervisor in prosthetic ear row

A Crowd Control Supervisor at a nightclub in Leeds has been suspended from duty until further notice after regulars queuing at the city centre night spot complained that one of the man’s...

0
Earl Van Dyke 17.03.12 8:29am
Earl Van Dyke
View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (3/17 edition)

Greetings lesbians! (And friends of lesbians!) What can I say? There's no excuse for the massive yawning gap between my posts, but I hope you'll understand when I tell you that me and my superhot...

5
SugarTits69 20.03.12 12:12pm
SugarTits69
Ladies: Top anti-wrinkle product is pies. "Stuff your face at your own pace"

more later...

0
dvo4fun 17.03.12 5:01am
dvo4fun
Oprah to host new show on assholes and the women who love them 0
Dumbnews 17.03.12 4:42am
Dumbnews
Breweries and pub product marketing managers celebrate St Plastics Day 3
ronseal 17.03.12 9:34am
charlies_hat
Top cleric quits over moneygrabbing and calling parishioners 'muppets'. 0
deskpilot3 16.03.12 11:23pm
deskpilot3
Man does equivalent of the M25 around his supermarket aisles

A shopper who pushed his shopping trolley the entire distance of the M25 around the aisles of his local Tesco - sometimes in the wrong direction - is recovering in hospital. Albert Bunn (52), who...

1
roybland 16.03.12 10:42pm
FlashArry
HS2 to be scrapped in favour of enormous flume

Transport Minister Justine Greening today announced that The Government was scrapping the proposed HS2 rail link between The Midlands and London, in favour of the H2O - a massive "hydro-grav...

0
grumblechops 16.03.12 9:13pm
grumblechops
Cricketer scores runs playing cricket – world amazed!

India's Sachin Tendulkar has become the first player to score some runs since the last one and all in a game that meant a defeat against Bangladesh in Dhaka. The very well known and famous cricketer...

0
hardev 16.03.12 8:58pm
hardev
George Clooney arrested on handsomeness charges

The actor, director and activist George Clooney was arrested today outside the Sudanese Embassy on charges of aggravated male beauty. Clooney, 49 was, say police, demonstrating his attractiveness in...

0
nickb 16.03.12 6:42pm
nickb
Absolutely crap Archbishop reborn as brilliant ex-Archbishop 0
roybland 16.03.12 6:21pm
roybland
Sarkozy to have iPhone renamed.

Building on his theme of detesting too many foreign people in France Nicolas Sarkozy has turned his attention to products. If re-elected he has promised to legislate that the 'iPhone' will be called...

2
weematt 18.03.12 11:16pm
weematt
British Public Braced For Tedious Over-Analysis of US/UK "Special Relationship"

As David Cameron's US visit draws to a close the British public are bracing themselves for the obligatory self-indulgent, embarrassingly tedious, over-analysis of the so-called "special relationship"...

1
UnoEye 16.03.12 11:07pm
FlashArry