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No job no jab 2
medici2471 3 years

The government has admitted that mass flu inoculation is no longer financially viable.., The elderly and infirm are to be advised to spend at least 3 hours per week on public transport, preferably...

Air kisses may be responsible for spread of air Aids claim scientists 0
simonjmr 3 years
Pentonville 'odds on' for next year's "Inter-prison Cricket Cup" 1
dvo4fun 3 years
Fathers "are all motherfuckers" say scientists 1
nickb 3 years

well they are...

Prison food complaint: "I've got 'the runs' says Salman Butt 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more soon Coat? check Door? over there...

Famous Greeks to record Greece Aid 5
simonjmr 3 years

N Dubz Dappy and Tulisa Contostavlos (of of TV's X Factor) are pulling together a star studded ensemble to record a charity single to help rescue the ailing Greek economy. Under the patronage of...

St. Pauls protestors leave in haste... 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

as Bishop threatens to deploy Sir Cliff Richard...

Dragons invest in 5-figure petrol station signs 2
kga6 3 years
Jim Davidson comeback show leaves audience dumbfounded 10
Screenie 3 years

‘Absolutely appalling’, ‘not what you expect’ and ‘is nothing sacred’ were just a few of the mutterings uttered by the crowd as they left a small South London theatre where Jim Davidson...

St Paul’s Gift shop denies cashing in with sales of Rizlas, condoms, marker pens 7
nickb 3 years

In summer, its biggest sellers were the St Paul’s key rings and snowstorms. But after the announcement that protestors could stay till the New Year, chart toppers are likely to be the new organic...

Wisden to introduce a "Prosecutions and Convictions" section. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
'No bawling aloud at the Nursery End' sign removed at Lords 2
spoole2112 3 years

Allegations that the Islamabad Three received their instructions through an array of subtle visual messages and coded comments during matches were made today by over zealous ex-CIA 2nd Eleven 1st...

Duchy of Cornwall: Keep clam and carry on 0
Screenie 3 years
Papandreou to be appointed Head of IMF. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Papandreou to release cover version of Clash hit. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Aceptance of Papandreou's resignation to be decided by referendum 0
button 3 years
Euro in need to replace this years Pudsayathon, confirm BBC 0
simonjmr 3 years
Huge list of demands made for Neanderthal apology. 0
Patrick Tobin 3 years

In the wake of recent news that British Homo Sapiens may have contributed directly to the eradication of Neanderthals in the Torquay area, demands have been made to the British Prime Minister for a...

Eurozone no longer able to abzorba the Greek. More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
Great Excitement North Of Watford Gap..... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.As 'Twitchers' spot a rare sighting of a Tory Minister., "Eee, if only he hadn't left his purse down south," said one local...

Wizard's sleeve worlds least valuable record cover 0
simonjmr 3 years
Midwife shortage thought to be due to dodgy wiring 2
Screenie 3 years
Scots Advised To Improve Their Diet And 'Go English' ....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..From Haggis to Spotted Dick?...

OK, give us a billion and you can keep the bloody marbles 0
antharrison 3 years
Boycott Now Focus of Cricket Clean Up Campaign 2
Drylaw 3 years

Stalwart England batsman and Test match pundit Geoff Boycott is coming under increasing pressure as the game's bosses have begun examining footage of his old days at the crease. Records show that...

Wood to become a non rolling stone.. 1
reddoctorspanky 3 years
"It's fine, you can stay" message causes St Pauls protesters to move on. 2
Boutros 3 years

Protesters were stunned to be told by St Pauls clergy, "You're not being annoying at all, in fact we quite like you. You've helped us rediscover our Christian beliefs and we are almost delighted...

. 4
Dickens or Shakespeare 3 years
Racist Newcastle twitterati "locked up in a single cell". More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Clearasil inventor imprisoned for 'spot-fixing' 0
grumblechops 3 years