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Millets' rescue plan 'will be intense'

more later err is that my coat over there?...

8
dvo4fun 19.03.12 3:14pm
dvo4fun
God to write second novel 3
Immunis 18.03.12 10:25pm
nickb
Chancellor to stop tax dodgers and reintroduce 10p tax rate.

With the highly anticipated Budget due this week, Downing Street has been leaking like a BP pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico. In a copy of his speech seen by the press, the Chancellor is planning...

0
Perks 18.03.12 9:29pm
Perks
Britain’s depleted Air Force ‘no longer has capacity to carpet-bomb Germany’

Air Marshal Sir Roderick Faulkes-Stanley has launched a withering attack on politicians looking to reduce the RAF’s budget. According to him, the air force has been paired back so far that it no...

21
24.03.12 10:50pm
button
British Grand Prix in chaos as Silverstone named as new congestion zone

The British Grand Prix faces some radical changes as drivers will be liable for the congestion charge. Currently, racing cars do not carry registration plates, making automatic detection impossible...

1
apepper 18.03.12 11:06pm
FlashArry
Relaxation of Sunday trading law builds on 'late-night opening' riots of 2011

Chancellor George Osborne has announced plans for shops to open longer during the Olympics. In an interview on the Andrew Marr show he said: "last summer we saw a huge demand for late night shopping...

3
Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.12 8:58pm
Mandy Lifeboat
withdrawn. 2
Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.12 11:06am
Midnight Dreary
Osbourne

Osbourne told: "Plan to make everyone hate Tories has worked. you can stop now"...

0
spa99ers 18.03.12 7:05pm
spa99ers
Osborne asks mates for joke ideas for his Budget speech

"Making the budget speech can be a real downer for the whole nation" said George Osborne. The Chancellor returned from his trip to the US to deliver his annual budget speech but has been asking...

0
paddyparkinson 18.03.12 6:30pm
paddyparkinson
"Go Compare" opera singer revealed to be Rafael Benitez 0
paddyparkinson 18.03.12 6:18pm
paddyparkinson
Police award Belfast man "Best Reply After Caution" prize

An improvised remark made by an unemployed Belfast plasterer following his arrest for dangerous driving has won the coveted "Best Reply After Caution" prize at the National Police Awards in...

2
jamsieoconnor 18.03.12 7:27pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Pessimistic teacher sacked because his class was always half full. 0
Ian Searle 18.03.12 5:26pm
Ian Searle
Restaurants introduce Hors d'oeuvres tracking.

This will let you know when they will be delivered. If you are not at your table when they arrive they can be left in a safe place, on a neighbouring table, or will be returned to the kitchen and...

0
Ian Searle 18.03.12 5:15pm
Ian Searle
"Twenty's plenty" says Schumacher after F1 failure.

More next wek ...

0
JustSomeBloke 18.03.12 5:14pm
JustSomeBloke
London 2012: Assisted Suicide law suspension bid for Olympics

Following the announcement of the suspension of the Sunday Trading laws by the Chancellor George Osborne, Home Secretary Theresa May is set to announce the suspension of the assisted suicide laws. ...

1
MotoPopps 18.03.12 8:47pm
weematt
Hundreds of injury lawyers injured at work

in stampede to join Bolton Wanderers supporters club...

0
yussle 18.03.12 4:16pm
yussle
Stranded potholers had no back up plan.

inspired by ronseal...

3
weematt 18.03.12 7:20pm
charlies_hat
IOW fire crew under fire, even slower than usual

Isle of Wight residents were more upset than normal when they learned that it took local volunteer fire officers over two hours to attend a fire at the Ryde Castle Hotel, Isle of Wight. Normally most...

0
weematt 18.03.12 2:04pm
weematt
Police work on theory no one broke into Millibands office, but he broke out.

The public are warned he may be dangerous...

0
Ian Searle 18.03.12 1:31pm
Ian Searle
Return to traditional values as kids to be told if their best "not good enough" 0
quango 18.03.12 12:18pm
quango
Panic grows as it is revealed that Earth's atmosphere is "over 78% nitrogen" 0
Nick McCarr 18.03.12 11:44am
Nick McCarr
Failed Apiarist had no Plan Bee 5
ronseal 21.03.12 12:28pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Authorities turn to Drogba for advice about onfield strokes 0
Drylaw 18.03.12 11:07am
Drylaw
New Archbishop to be chosen via TV variety show, Bishops Got Talent

The Church of England has confirmed that the new Archbishop of Canterbury will be selected via public phone vote on a TV talent show hosted by Ant and Dec. ‘Bishops Got Talent will bring the...

8
Ludicity 21.03.12 4:21am
Username
I was Peter Tatchell’s secret lover, claims woman.

‘Peter and I had a full and loving relationship’ says Anna Carter, 48, talking for the first time of their when her 22 year relationship with pocket firebrand Peter Tatchell. ‘It was an open...

0
Mrs Olly Murs 18.03.12 10:09am
Mrs Olly Murs
Wife divorces barista who took his work home

A Cafe Nero barista who took his work too seriously is facing divorce. 'As soon as Joe arrived home from the coffee shop, he started,' his wife Jane said, 'banging the milk jug on the table,...

1
roybland 18.03.12 11:11am
Drylaw
CoE to offer headquarters franchise in cost cutting move

Following the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury the Church of England is to use the franchising business model to decide where its headquarters is located. The CoE is thought to favour the...

0
weematt 18.03.12 9:01am
weematt
Homeless may be used as street lighting

Homeless people may be used as street lighting under new government plans to be announced by George Osborne in Wednesday's Budget. The proposal follows the recent use of homeless people as roving...

3
roybland 18.03.12 4:17pm
writinginbsl
Glimmer Of Hope After Germanys Earless Rabbit's Untimely death

The death of Til The Earless Rabbit stunned a nation, gasps of horror could be heard from the Reichstag to the Danube as the unfortunate photographer wiped the unsightly step kill from his shoe. But...

0
anhodika 18.03.12 12:10am
anhodika
TUC rejoice as public linked to private sector pay "Bring on the bonuses!"

more later...

1
dvo4fun 17.03.12 6:29pm
Perks