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Tories panic over possible election victory

The Prime Minister has called an emergency cabinet meeting to discuss the appallingly good economic news reports of the past week., Top of the agenda was how to avoid winning the next General...

0
vulture1 26.01.14 9:36pm
vulture1
50% Tax Rate could ‘seriously delay next Gary Barlow album.’

Ed Balls announcement that he would reinstate the 50% tax rate has raised fresh concerns about top talent leaving Britain should Labour return to power at the next election. Responding to rumours...

0
TheNewsWalrus 26.01.14 9:33pm
TheNewsWalrus
Family of car criticize armed police

The family of the car shot by armed police have reacted with anger, claiming "automobile profiling". In a statement put out by their solicitors they said "He wasn't a bad sort, he just got bought by...

0
Bigglesworth 26.01.14 8:47pm
Bigglesworth
Australians celebrate Cook's visit

no more ashes soon...

0
Not Amused 26.01.14 6:01pm
Not Amused
Shearer under investigation for prolonged use of ‘inverse quenelle’ celebration

Legendary ex-England footballer, turned-pundit, Alan Shearer, could face retrospective action if found guilty of a career’s use of the so-called ‘inverse-quenelle’ salute as his celebration for...

3
kga6 26.01.14 4:35pm
Wrenfoe
'E-shag' could reduce UK teen pregnancies claim

Government plans to allow 'e-shagging' by under-16s are expected to be announced by Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt soon. 'The e-shag, which works rather like an e-fag, will drastically cut teen...

0
roybland 26.01.14 4:35pm
roybland
Publisher launches instructional sex guide, the Haynes Emmanuelle... 0
Tripod 26.01.14 3:36pm
Tripod
Rogue churchman to delete Q'ran pdf files

A MADCAP Welsh vicar is to strike a blow against Islam by deleting digital copies of the Q’ran., The full-time Christian spiritual leader and parish rat-catcher, Rev Martin Sorepalms, plans to...

0
insiderphil 26.01.14 2:35pm
insiderphil
Premier League bans Basil Fawlty Nazi funny walk goal celebrations 0
custard cream 26.01.14 1:47pm
custard cream
Bernie Ecclestone "corrupt as a Glamorgan sausage"

Recent charges laid against multi-billionaire and Formula One head honcho Bernie Ecclestone have led to one of his old friends speaking out against him. Second hand car salesman and meat product...

1
Tortoisebob 26.01.14 12:23pm
newsfelch
Francois Hollande 'trying too hard to be French'. More Soon. 0
Tortoisebob 26.01.14 11:38am
Tortoisebob
Francois Hollande 'trying too hard to be French'. More Soon. 0
Tortoisebob 26.01.14 11:26am
Tortoisebob
Save with Jamie #147 - Pain sec facile

If you are like me, Jools and the kids you often have a few stale pieces of bread left over at the end of a busy week. It’s criminal in this day and age to just ‘through them away’ so here is...

20
blacklesbianandproudofit 26.01.14 10:50am
Kevin the Swan
Yewtree yewtree yewtree, yewtree yewtree yewtree 'Bacon sandwich'

Yewtree yewtree yewtree yewtree yewtree yewtree yewtree, yewtree Jimmy Savile yewtree Operation Yewtree. Yewtree Rolf Harris, yewtree Dave Lee Travis, yewtree even Jim Davidson. But yewtree yewtree...

1
Robopop 26.01.14 10:44am
Squudge
Avian privacy groups slam RSPB 'mass surveillance'

Your roving journofowl has had to interrupt this week's Nature Notes slot after an insider at the RSPB leaked the full shocking extent of directed surveillance against birds. Not content with using...

7
Kevin the Swan 26.01.14 10:43am
Squudge
"Now You Know How We Felt, Towards The End " Say Families Of Atlantis Refugees

More rain later...

0
Titus 26.01.14 10:38am
Titus
Civil Servants found working in secret google lab 0
Bigglesworth 25.01.14 6:12pm
Bigglesworth
Global manufacturer of Abacuses celebrates 30 centuries of no changes 0
Dumbnews 25.01.14 5:50pm
Dumbnews
Millions miss opportunity to complain during brief gmail outage 0
Dumbnews 25.01.14 5:48pm
Dumbnews
Mopedgate Latest

Femme fatale Julie Gayet’s publicist is struggling to find something venerable for her client to do in wake of latest developments in the Francois Hollande “Mopedgate” affair. Valerie...

0
Morris 25.01.14 4:58pm
Morris
Dodgy artificial houseplants hottest new trend in home decor

For decades makers of artificial houseplants have competed to craft the most realistic-looking foliage possible. But despite the many advances in the manufacturing of artificial plants, dismal...

2
tdotrob 25.01.14 4:16pm
Tortoisebob
Hospital to replace doctors with posters saying, "Google It" 2
Dumbnews 25.01.14 4:09pm
Dumbnews
libdem's entangled in virtual sex scandal

Clegg:, no sex took place but we have clearly demonstrated that we are not yet out of touch...

0
4ty2 25.01.14 3:20pm
4ty2
Lib Dems in Heinecken Crisis

Excessive Heinecken consumption blamed for problems of political outreach, even reaching out to bodyparts of other party members. Clegg suggests introduction of Sangria law and the introduction of...

0
4ty2 25.01.14 3:13pm
4ty2
French President suffers seperation anxiety. 0
MADJEZ 25.01.14 3:12pm
MADJEZ
Army to be deployed in job centres 1
Not Amused 25.01.14 2:40pm
4ty2
Olympic Committee tells South Africa 'We're not racist, your skier's crap !' 0
MADJEZ 25.01.14 2:25pm
MADJEZ
FA to investigate as Old Trafford crowd keeps shouting "Quenelle". More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 25.01.14 2:03pm
Ref Minor
First Lady comes second 0
nickb 25.01.14 12:12pm
nickb
Russell Brand's plums soon to go on sale

Britain's shoppers will soon be able to buy alongside anthocyanin-infused tomatoes, the genetically-modified scrotum of our favourite lascivious tramp. Mr. Brand's 'swollen nuts', with their...

2
Wrenfoe 25.01.14 12:07pm
Squudge