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Robert Robertson dies: Eulogy to be delivered by sister and eldest son 1
virtuallywill 3 years
New homeware brand aimed at rioters' mothers is launched at 0
wallster 3 years
Shopping Spree Breaks Out in South London 0
Boroughbloke 3 years

In sickening scenes shopping pensioners were today being charged by lines of fully trained retailers in south London. "These people think they can get away with murder" said 72 year old Stanley, an...

Italian debt crisis blamed on theft by group of Mini drivers. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
isle of wight riots latest 2
arthurminnit 3 years

local police chief, community support officer mckay, commented on the horrific riots that hit the island in the wake of the mainlands disturbances., "it was terrible" he said, "at one point there...

Cameron authorises super soaker water pistols for riot police 8
fernandomando 3 years

Following an emergency debate in the House of Commons, David Cameron today announced that, in conjunction with the deployment of anti-riot water canons, police will be issued with super soaker water...

Tampax marketing advisor recommends 'Back to basics' name change to ‘Jam rags’ 0
antharrison 3 years

Martin Sorrell, chief executive of WPP, an International advertising company has recommended that tampon manufacturer Tampax changes its branding from ‘Femine hygiene accessory’ to ‘Jam rags’...

BBC news report grabs award 1
Screenie 3 years

BBC news report, 'News of the World rivals celebrate sales boost', has scooped the much sought after 'well, yeah' award for stating the bleeding obvious...

Employer puts suspended garden centre worker on paperwork leave 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Chiswick women discuss their pussies. 1
rebel not taken 3 years

Chiswick is facing its biggest pussy crisis to date, according to local resident Flossie Clunge:, "They sometimes keep me up all night" said Miss Clunge, a retired cleaner from Turnham Green. A...

Government set to take control of the nation's perambulations 0
Screenie 3 years

It has been revealed by the minister for transport that the government has been worried for sometime about the falling morale of the nation's older residents, especially with the increase in fuel...

Toddler shops own teenage mother after seeing CCTV footage of her looting 0
Spartan_Pig 3 years

A three year old girl from Greater Manchester has reported her 16 year old mother to police after seeing her 'named and shamed' as part of the Shop a Looter scheme set up in the wake of the recent...

Woman disfigured by chimp 'feels safer' after mandrill face transplant 13
3 years

A woman left disfigured by a violent chimp unveiled her new face last night. Keen to avoid any future attacks, doctors have replaced her face with one from a much more intimidating primate. 34...

Boris Johnson brings peace to London through the medium of dance. More soon. 7
dominic_mcg 3 years
CPS bring in Huggy Bear to translate for teen offenders. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
British Gas blamed for doorstep shortage. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
“Go-Go Gadget Lawsuit!” Google vs Microsoft fight over Inspector Gadget patents 0
DavidEllisKent 3 years

Inspector Gadget fans across the globe were shocked to their very (bionic) core today when Microsoft and Google announced they would be launching a bidding war for patents linked to the infinite...

Shooting in Tooting mooted as true root of looting. 4
wallster 3 years
Homeopathic jokes "just not strong enough". More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
Missing US hypersonic aircraft found in Peckham flat. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Judges at 2011 Top Restaurant Awards consider the Om-Nom-Nominations. 0
wallster 3 years

Ok, I know, I'm a kid at heart...

Parliament Agrees to Let Rioters Investigate Themselves 0
lord_wingnut 3 years

UK's rioters are to set up a commission to investigate claims of alleged illegal behaviour in various cities recently. A parliamentary spokesperson indicated that such a move is only right and...

Kaiser Chiefs to release new single, 'I predict a lottery win' 18
Screenie 3 years
Baby's first words amongst items looted in the recent riots. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

A distraught young mother in Croydon has pleaded with the young rioters who stole her baby's first words to return them. Sharon McFlurry from New Addington was walking home with her young child...

Sham wedding pair forced to give back presents. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Fake "Newsbiscuit" web site found in China, the fake one has jokes 1
virtuallywill 3 years

more on here later...

UK Met Office to launch cutting edge nationwide 'riotcasts' 5
Gary Stanton 3 years

The Met Office in conjunction with people who do this kind of thing are to launch the first forecasts for riot conditions throughout the UK . Since the initial outbreak of violent disorder, experts...

Disappearance of hypersonic space plane not that surprising 0
Fake Vegetarian 3 years
Looter jailed for stealing complete works of Keats. Poetic justice, say police. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Police planning to check "What I did in the holidays" essays in September 7
greg various 3 years