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Panda mistakenly eats Bamboo planted to off-set China flight. 2
Milo Shame 3 years
Woman quits job as mobile hairdresser after consistently poor reception 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Scotland prepares for panda arrival; deep fried bamboo waiting 3
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

EC ruling on ancient grazing rights sees dairy farming return to Hyde Park 9
3 years

Ancient grazing rights are to be respected in Britain's capital city, following a landmark decision by the European Court of Justice. George Humbert took the matter to Europe after finding a legal...

BBC send Jeremy Clarkson to Gobi desert 0
apepper 3 years

The BBC have sent Jeremy Clarkson to the Gobi Desert; a spokesman explained, "it's not for a programme, it just seemed a good idea."...

Jason Plato mourns loss of mentor. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Mr Onassis unavailable for comment...

Oxford Street closed to poor to help avoid 'crushing debt' 1
Perks 3 years

Oxford Street in Central London was closed to the poor yesterday amid fears of crushing debt. Further such closures may now be in place every weekend in the run up to Christmas. 'We have spent 11...

BBC forced to deny Clarkson ITV transfer rumours. 1
SingingHinny 3 years

The Director-General of the BBC, Mark Thompson, has denied newspaper reports that Jeremy Clarkson, the BBC’s highly-paid right-wing wrecking ball, has submitted a transfer request following...

Siri fails to find the best little whorehouse in Texas 2
Ostsee 3 years
Despite multi-tasking claims, wife still can't do headache & sex at same time 1
Smart Alex 3 years
New Canary Island created by volcano already covered in beach towels. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Macc Lads to replace Elbow as suppliers of Olympic theme tune 1
grottymonty 3 years

Bury rockers and salad dodgers Elbow are set to be replaced by the Macc Lads as the official suppliers of an Olympic theme tune for the BBC...

The Queen to star in new Alan Bennett one woman show "The Regina Monologues". 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Jeremy Clarkson criticises Saudi report on women drivers for "going too far" 0
FlashArry 3 years

OR ..Jeremy Clarkson criticises Saudi report on women drivers for "not going far enough" - take your pick...

New HS2 line aims to take MPs to the end of their careers in just 49 minutes 0
kga6 3 years
Statistics show that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy 6
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Not my joke, may be an old one that you've all heard before, but I heard it at work the other day and liked it...

Fool on the Hill given honorary doctorate for services to music 0
Username 3 years
New vinyl shredder breaks all records 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Mail announces new respect for referees campaign "Hoorah for the Blackshirts". 1
reforse 3 years
Shop's security barrier catches it's first shoplifter 8
Perks 3 years

A branch of Next in the West Midlands has become the first known store in the UK to actually catch a shoplifter after he set of the security barriers at the store's front door. The barriers, which...

BBC to send 2012 Olympics presenters to London to cover the games 5
simonjmr 3 years
Pandas sent to Scotland to get drunk and have lots of unprotected sex. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Honour crime sub: Now in pits for repair 4
dvo4fun 3 years

Bit of eco-subbing here, recycling an idea of a couple of months ago. Now back in the workshop awaiting detailed work with the 3/8th drive socket set, micrometer, 240 grade emery cloth and a large...

Clarkson apology 'poorly executed' admit BBC. 3
MADJEZ 3 years

More bombshells soon...

BMW launches articulate vehicle which answers back 0
dvo4fun 3 years
Banner on bypass probably not best way to come out, gay dad reflects 15
Clarky 3 years

When Swindon man, Dave White, decided to announce his homosexuality, he did it in a big way – by hanging a 6ft banner across a roundabout on the bypass, proclaiming ‘I’m a big gay and so’s my...

Statistician forced to admit 80% of disabled people happy with Paralympics. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More damn lies soon...

Croatia dissapointed at being drawn in the Group of Debt 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Shock reverberates round Europe as UEFA fail to draw a "Group of Death" 0
grottymonty 3 years
Relief as Kindles officially declared Gay. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More anouncements soon...