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"Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment" is DJ's phone in topic of day 0
ronseal 27.01.14 11:16pm
Super Bowl Cut Short for More Commercials

As the NFL announced that Bruno Mars and Red Hot Chili Peppers are to perform the half-time show of Super Bowl XLVIII, they also announced the change in broadcast. "Commercial advertising is a huge...

MatthewSammon 27.01.14 9:51pm
Prosecution prove DLT is a Liberal Democrat. Changes plea to guilty. 0
MADJEZ 27.01.14 7:21pm
Red tape producer complains about victimisation 0
Sinnick 27.01.14 7:09pm
Tory MP's use expenses to buy dinghies in case floods reach 2nd homes

After Environment Secretary Owen Paterson's [s]public mauling[/s] fact-finding mission in Somerset made the government aware that most of South West England now resembles Atlantis, Tory MP's have...

Mike Peters 27.01.14 7:01pm
Ref Minor
Stephen Hawking: 'There are no Universal Credits'

Famed physicist Stephen Hawking says that Universal Credits don't exist - despite claims by a government minister that they will soon be visible here on earth. Secretary of State for Work and...

roybland 27.01.14 6:58pm
Ref Minor
Bleak outlook possible for Fred Talbot 0
Ref Minor 27.01.14 6:57pm
Ref Minor
“Lost” Potter Tale To Be Published

A previously unknown story by Beatrix Potter is to be published next week. Long neglected in a publisher’s archives, “The Tale Of Reynard The Fox” will arrive in bookshops and online very soon...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 27.01.14 6:54pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Kevin Bacon freed from advertising as the dirt EE have on him is destroyed.

There were dramatic scenes this morning at the headquarters of Everything Everywhere, the UK’s largest mobile phone network, as Kevin Bacon walked free from over a year of captivity following the...

27.01.14 6:16pm
Goldfish Workers Union representative accused of hate speech

Finnegan Scales today faced criticism for his remarks on the increasing number of foreign fairground workers. Ted Lardge, Permanent Member of the Council for Transient Playthings, said the "darker...

TurtleBetty 27.01.14 5:39pm
Kim Jong-Un 'Does bad thing' 0
Tortoisebob 27.01.14 5:13pm
Controversy Over Made-Up Ship

A British Museum expert has revealed that some people may have imagined an imaginary boat to be a different shape to that imagined by other people. After deciphering 4,000 year-old clay tablets,...

JudgementDave 27.01.14 5:11pm
Man Overcomes Constipation: Flushed With Success 0
james_doc 27.01.14 4:40pm
Labour to Introduce Bastard Tax

The Labour Party today unveiled its latest proposed tax policy, the Bastard Tax. It would be means tested and incremental, starting from 'A bit of a git' up to the highest category of 'Complete and...

paulo 27.01.14 4:37pm
Easterly winds forecast. Pressure on PM to stop Bulgarian and Romanian weather 0
Not Amused 27.01.14 4:10pm
Not Amused
Ringo thanks adoring fans with covert death threat

In a historic reunion, 2 of the legendary Beatles appeared at The Grammys 2014 in L.A. The two, Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, thought to be actually alive, posed together on stage. While...

beckfordburger 27.01.14 3:33pm
Swans blamed for rise in A&E admissions

As winter pressures continue to put pressure on A&E departments, swans have been blamed for huge numbers of injuries tying up emergency staff in the already overstretched units. Hospital...

newsfelch 27.01.14 2:28pm
Gove advisers accuse Sauron the Dark Lord of being too "Orc-Centred"

Sauron, the Dark Lord of Dol Guldur, whose eye falls like a pestilence upon the peoples of Middle Earth, is reported to be "Spitting black bile" at reports leaked by advisers at the department of...

blokefromstoke 27.01.14 2:09pm
Cock a hoop Piers Morgan uniquely placed to enjoy two for one deal on facelifts 0
ronseal 27.01.14 1:53pm
Michael Schumacher unlikely to be considered for The Jump 0
custard cream 27.01.14 11:06am
custard cream
Patterson claims government's 'badger drowning cull' has been 100% successful 0
Ian Searle 27.01.14 10:50am
Ian Searle
Bear fights off elderly Scottish couple

A brown bear escaped unscathed after fighting off an elderly Scottish couple it encountered while out scavenging for food., The bear was going through bins at the back of the couple’s villa in...

Gerontius 27.01.14 10:48am
Rooney accused of using 'kin hell on the pitch 0
simonjmr 27.01.14 10:13am
Gove: Bigger Boys attacked Ofsted then ran away

More at 1 (it's your own time you're wasting.)...

blokefromstoke 27.01.14 7:36am
Beatles and Stones to appear at renamed Granny Awards. 2
MADJEZ 27.01.14 3:04am
Mourinho: "No Mata." 0
Boutros 26.01.14 11:47pm
Inventor of homophobic towel distraught over success

Plagued by fear that parts of his bath towel that had come into contact with his genitals might the next day come into contact with his face, New York designer Adam Ross invented the...

tdotrob 26.01.14 11:43pm
Catholics Complain About Mass Surveillance

Or should that be Compline?...

Titus 26.01.14 10:12pm
Tories panic over possible election victory

The Prime Minister has called an emergency cabinet meeting to discuss the appallingly good economic news reports of the past week., Top of the agenda was how to avoid winning the next General...

vulture1 26.01.14 9:36pm
50% Tax Rate could ‘seriously delay next Gary Barlow album.’

Ed Balls announcement that he would reinstate the 50% tax rate has raised fresh concerns about top talent leaving Britain should Labour return to power at the next election. Responding to rumours...

TheNewsWalrus 26.01.14 9:33pm