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Man guilty of self-abuse

A CPS spokeswoman described the case as ‘a self-fulfilling paradox waiting to happen’. ‘The man not only had to re-live the abuse he suffered at his own hand in the 1970s, he must now also...

malgor 18.11.12 11:39am
‘Slightly humane’ accreditation offers salve to carnivores’ conscience...

Sally White, from the Food Standards Agency, explained the new animal welfare proposals. “Consumers don’t want animals to be harmed unnecessarily, but in times of recession they don’t want to...

Tripod 18.11.12 11:29am
Men trapped in Sixties time-warp to be exhibited at The O2

Four men trapped in a Sixties time-warp are to appear next week at London's The O2. 'The men became frozen in time around 1962,' explained psychiatrist Dr Joseph Sacks,' and every few years feel the...

roybland 17.11.12 11:56pm
Chinese Lib Dems aiming for a full hour maternity leave for paddy field workers. 6
Lucy4 17.11.12 11:40pm
Co-op Food and Co-Op Funeral Services combine to form Co-op Fooderial Services

Manchester-based Co-operative Group has announced a radical restructure to bring together the activities of its food and funeral divisions into its new Fooderial Services division. 'We know that the...

antharrison 17.11.12 11:30pm
New Spice Girl revealed - Meningitis B 0
custard cream 17.11.12 10:26pm
custard cream
UN calls for calm before there Isreali Hamassacre 0
Dick Everyman 17.11.12 10:23pm
Dick Everyman
New Archbishop made Governor of Bank of England to serve God and Mammon 1
custard cream 17.11.12 7:53pm
custard cream
Children in Need ends with a record breaking 28,467,276 uses of the word 'Guys' 3
Perks 17.11.12 3:12pm
Lib Dems call for elected milkmen 4
nickb 17.11.12 3:09pm
Dyslexic sandwich lovers disappointed when they got their mouths round a DLT 2
Perks 17.11.12 2:21pm
UK Defence Chiefs caught in the cross-fire as top US General forced to pull out

In the light of recent revelations concerning General Patraeus, senior members of UK Armed Forces have admitted that they have also been caught with their pants down, frequently having to make a...

Squudge 17.11.12 2:17pm
Don't allow Premier League to become a political football say fans 0
custard cream 17.11.12 1:45pm
custard cream
Latest BBC Scandal - 'The Hour' found to be just 56 minutes 1
custard cream 17.11.12 1:41pm
custard cream
Product recall for Astute submarine: patio and decking “clearly a mistake”... 3
Tripod 17.11.12 1:34pm
custard cream
Tension entirely bareable in Police and Crime Commissioner Elections 2
custard cream 17.11.12 1:21pm
Cameron curbs children’s access to internet porn to free up bandwidth for adults

A frustrated David Cameron has announced tough new controls to prevent children accessing internet porn, saying that without the bandwidth-saving measures, men could be forced to play Sudoku or go to...

Yikes 17.11.12 1:15pm
Man ‘sat on’ by Cyril Smith finally gets his breath back... 0
Tripod 17.11.12 12:00pm
Trial by jury to be replaced by Twitter storm and gossip...

Bowing to the weight of public opinion, Chris Grayling, Secretary of State for Justice, plans to dismantle our byzantine legal system and replace it with rumour and hearsay. “For centuries”, he...

Tripod 17.11.12 11:44am
Sally Bercow - the shocking and extremely libellous true story 0
17.11.12 10:57am
Tony Blair proves his worth as Middle East Peace Envoy

‘You know, I only popped over to Hull to help keep Lord Prescott out of that Police Commissioner’s job,’ Blair told reporters. ‘You turn your back on Israel and Gaza for five minutes and...

malgor 17.11.12 10:44am
Humberside officially votes Prescott a Cunt.

More electoral humiliation soon (we hope)...

MADJEZ 17.11.12 10:40am
Consumers demand tuna flakes toughen up 0
custard cream 17.11.12 10:39am
custard cream
What is it about the global burger phenomenon?

Fat bloated Americans, some victims of superstorm Sandy, flocked, floated and even swam to the voting booths upon hearing Barack Obama’s promise of building yet more McDonald’s. Around the world...

Reg Herring 17.11.12 10:39am

Solisism T- shirt slogan – which is the funniest version?? Solipsistic? But am I the only one? I may be a bit solipsistic but I'm not the only one. Solipsism everywhere! Am I the only one...

granger 17.11.12 10:21am
New Isle of Wight Police Commissioner vows to target anti-social Mods & Rockers 0
ginty 17.11.12 9:20am
Pastor Martin Niemöller wins 'I Told You So' Award in trial by twitter clampdown 11
Nowherefast 17.11.12 1:43am
Children in Need thank Leeds pensioner who gave teenage girls ride in his Roller

Now then, now then, more soon...

MADJEZ 17.11.12 12:15am
DLT arrest not child sex related. Donkey was over 16 claims former Radio 1 DJ. 0
MADJEZ 17.11.12 12:08am
Residents ‘high as a kite’ after acid leak in Manchester

Police Officer John Norris was in North Street to advise residents to stay indoors. ‘As I approached one of the houses, the front door turned to jelly, all pretty colours, but when I saw my hand...

malgor 16.11.12 11:39pm