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Morrisons dress code to include santa hats all year round.

Gets worse soon...

Arthur 28.05.13 6:03pm
Yorkshire to be renamed "Yooorksha"

Two extra "o"s are to be added to the name "Yorkshire". The leader of North Yorkshire county council explained, "It seems reet ta change t' nem sa 'a' those poor fowk whoa weren't born i' Yooorksha...

apepper 28.05.13 5:43pm
Britain’s terror threat levels – A Daily Mail guide.

The government recently announced that it was considering raising its terror alert warning from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe.’ But what do these warnings actually mean? The Daily Mail presents...

TheNewsWalrus 28.05.13 5:25pm
(opinion) U.S. Intellgent Designers Agree: Frack Darwin Day to Save Whales.

Question: Who was Darwin? Answer: Darwin was the talking dolphin on a show called "SeaQuest." So why are some Americans keen that this one dolphin should get his own holiday, "Darwin Day"? True,...

Lindy Moone 28.05.13 4:52pm
Dick Everyman
Man who pretended to be a fantasist is exposed as a complete realist

A man who pretended to be brilliant at 're-inventing himself' has been exposed as a complete normalist. The news will come as a massive shock to many people who'd thought he was 'the full Mandelson'...

ronseal 28.05.13 4:48pm
Cameron promises "no skiving off jaunts this summer"

"What, and miss all of the Olympics?"...

Jesse Bigg 28.05.13 4:41pm
Jesse Bigg
Man tells talk radio show he's a first time caller, and a bit nervous 4
ronseal 28.05.13 4:40pm
Lindy Moone
Foam prisoner ensures survival of traditional police staircase rolling event

The 2013 staging of the traditional 'Custody Suite Prisoner Roll' event has finally been secured by the use of a substitute prisoner made from lightweight foam. Organisers of the annual West Country...

ginty 28.05.13 4:34pm
Hospital begins open Mike nights for aspiring surgeons. 4
sredni vashta 28.05.13 4:10pm
Olive Oyl sues Napolina Ltd for 'hurtful' virgin smear

and they spelled her name wrong!...

Dick Everyman 28.05.13 2:22pm
Dick Everyman
Terrorists may have shut down nuclear plant with "military grade seaweed". 0
deskpilot3 28.05.13 2:20pm
Daily Mail: 'Here are the hate and porn sites you must not visit!'

Here at the Daily Mail we say that all hate and porn sites must be blocked, so that people can't read their disgusting content., For instance, at, you can read 'We hate the...

John Wiltshire 28.05.13 2:10pm
PM Criticised For Going On holiday. And To Sleep. And To The Lavatory.

"It's about time he started to take his job seriously" said an opposition spokesman "And stopped skiving off all the time when there are urgent plattitudes to utter, poses to be struck and gestures...

Titus 28.05.13 2:06pm
Concern after On The Buses writer gets commission for Downton Abby episode

And the Earl of Grantham tells Mr Carson "I hate you Butler!"...

Ian Searle 28.05.13 1:17pm
Ian Searle
Olive oil jugs removed from the table by EU committee. Swee'Pea to be bottle fed

[Hat tip to Bluto]...

Arthur 28.05.13 1:14pm
Government trawl of archived security minutes "a load of old Cobras" 0
nickb 28.05.13 12:49pm
Max Clifford denies charges: "I did not have public relations with those women" 5
raudus 28.05.13 12:45pm
Last Non-ironic Greeting Card Withdrawn From Sale In a move marking the end of an era, manufacturers have ended production of the last non-ironic greeting card on...

Peter749400 28.05.13 12:16pm
Stash of Forbes mags found stuffed in a hedge fund 0
cinquecento 28.05.13 12:04pm
Cameron's on holiday, but his butler is still working, says PM spokesman 1
ronseal 28.05.13 12:01pm
Feminists fund anti Lads Mag prosecutions selling nude calendars in Newsagents 0
thackaray 28.05.13 11:52am
Wikileeks now available in Welsh. 5
sredni vashta 28.05.13 11:12am
Lindy Moone
If you ask me, they're all as bad as each other, caller tells radio phone in 0
ronseal 28.05.13 11:10am
Consultant cardiologist called in after concerns about NewsBiscuit ticker. 1
weematt 28.05.13 10:29am
'Block hate-fuelled websites' says Daily Mail, apparently not ironically 7
Oxbridge 28.05.13 10:11am
Mexican fashion designer unveils HSBC employees' latest uniform range

Eduardo Lucero, favourite fashion designer to Hollywood starlets such as Eva Longaria, Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez has unveiled his latest collection, commissioned by HSBC Bank at Durango Fashion...

Dick Everyman 28.05.13 10:06am
Dick Everyman
Angelina Jolie sends condolences to Olive Oil. 3
Maverick 28.05.13 10:03am
Dick Everyman
Meals on wheels worker sacked for 'smiley face dinners'

It was an attempt to bring some cheer to lonely dinner times but for Mavis Bacon her plan backfired. Bosses at the Women's Royal Voluntary Service (WRVS) dismissed Mavis after conducting an internal...

Sheepback 28.05.13 9:59am
Dick Everyman
Cheese roll demands double Gloucester Police say

more soon....

Bertrand Twisted 28.05.13 8:08am
Bertrand Twisted
Everyone else sunbathing in park actually dead, realises man 0
Peter749400 28.05.13 12:30am